"Hey Payton!" I turn around, looking for the source of the voice that called out my name, and then I see Trevor.
I put on a fake smile as he comes barreling towards me. He tackles me with a hug, and we both fall on the grass, him on top of me with only his hands propped up on the ground to prevent his full weight from falling onto me.
My cheeks grow warm as my mind registers our close proximity, and I feel my heart flutter in my chest as he chuckles at my reaction.
He rolls off of me, stands up, brushes off some grass and dirt off his pants, and, finally, helps me up.
He swings his arm around my shoulder like nothing ever changed between us and asks me the same question he always asks every time he sees me for the past 15 years that we've known each other, "So, what's up?"
Gosh, guys are so dense.
I only shrug in response, much to his disappointment.
"Aw, come on! I've been getting that same response ever since you turned 15!"
'That's because that was the time I fell for you, you idiot.' I think to myself. Because, come on, do you seriously think I can tell him that?
He suddenly comes to a halt. "You know, now that I think about it, it was also around that time that you became so distant. We used to be best friends. What happened?" He looks at me as he waits for an explanation.
"Nothing happened, Trevor. I just became busy, that's all." I lie.
I did become distant, still am. Because I started falling for him. Hard.
"With what?" He looks at me skeptically, not believing my shitty excuse for one second.
"With stuff." I snap at him. Can't he take a hint? I do not want to talk about this kind of stuff. Because if I do, I'll probably break down, and I don't want him to see me like that.
He looks a bit taken back at my sudden outburst but quickly recovers and shrugs, clearly dropping the subject, "Alright, whatever you say. So when can we hang out again? You know, just like old times."
Ugh, guys are so insensitive.
I am just about to reject his offer when he adds the words I never want to hear from him, "Plus, I want you to meet my girlfriend."
***
I want to hate her. I really, really do. But she was just so nice and pretty and perfect that it was impossible to even dislike her, much less hate her.
I swear, she has no flaws.
Maybe that's why Trevor fell for her. She's everything I ever wanted to be.
She's not fat, but she's not too skinny either. She has the perfect curves. Meanwhile, I'm as thin as a twig with no curves.
Her perfectly tanned skin was soft as a baby's butt. And me? I'm as pale as milk. Whenever I try to get tanned, I end up only getting sunburned; my skin turns to red.
Her blonde hair fell in perfect waves on her shoulders and not a single strand was out of place. My hair always looks like a tornado had passed by it. It's unruly and curly and untamed and worst of all? It's red. I mean, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against redheads, I just hate my hair, okay?
Her stormy gray eyes were extraordinary. They were mysterious and mesmerizing at the same time. While my green eyes are just really dull and empty.
Her lips looked so soft and it was so pink. And my thin lips are a shame.
I'm sorry for comparing, but I just couldn't help it.
We're like the opposite of each other. She's perfect; I'm a zombie.
And the best part--or maybe worst, I haven't decided yet--is her personality.
She was nice and funny and confident and elegant and full of life.
The way she carried herself with so much confidence was just amazing. It was like she didn't even care what other people would think of her. She has absolutely no insecurities. Zero.
And the way she talked, it was fluent and graceful. No stammering. She wasn't even nervous while I was shaking like a leaf.
The way she sat and ate was elegant; I didn't even know that that was possible.
See? I'm telling you, she's perfect!
I sigh as I remember the events of last night.
We had dinner last night. Trevor invited me and got my mom to convince me to say yes. So I didn't really have a choice but to go.
But what I didn't know was that she was also invited, Trevor's girlfriend.
He planned that dinner for us to meet. I mean, what was he trying to do? Rub it my face that I'm nothing compared to the girl of his dreams?
I didn't even bother dressing up because I've been going to that house since I was in diapers, and his parents already know me (our parents were the best of friends in high school). So what's the point of dressing up, right?
Boy, was I wrong.
I came there wearing denim shorts and my favorite tank top, with my flip flops.
You can't blame me. I always looked like that when I come over. I'm comfortable with his parents. They're like my second parents.
And guess what? His parents weren't even home.
So we ate dinner, just the three of us.
Trevor was wearing a blue button down shirt that matches his eyes.
He actually dressed up! In his own house!
Alyana, his girlfriend, was wearing a gray dress that emphasizes her stormy gray eyes and hugs her curves.
And it was awkward.
I feel a blush on my cheeks as I remember how embarrassing it was.
I was wearing a tank top and shorts for crying out loud!
I let out a groan. Stupid! I'm so stupid!
"Honey, Trevor's here!" I hear my mom call out.
My eyes widen. What the hell is he doing here? I'm not ready to face him yet! I don't think I'll ever be ready.
I start pacing my room, thinking of an excuse to not see him.
Then I hear a knock on my door, a voice calling out, "Payton? Hey, it's Trevor. Can I come in?"
I run to my bed and bury myself in my pillows. He shall not see me!
"Payton? Uhm... I'm going in, alright?"
I don't dare answer.
I hear the door creak open then after a moment or two, close.
Footsteps are heard as we both remain quiet.
My heart is hammering inside my chest so hard I'm afraid he would hear.
I pretend to sleep because my only other option is to greet him and that sure is not happening.
"Payton... Are you really sleeping or are you just pretending?" I hear some shuffling, and I feel my bed dip because of his weight. I could practically feel his body radiating heat beside me.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
What am I going to do?
"Payton, I know you're awake." He sighs.
'No, I'm not! Go away, I'm sleeping!' My heart is running a million miles, and I'm shaking from nervousness.
"Are you okay? Are you sick or something?" He reaches out to feel my forehead, and I jerk back by instinct.
Well, there goes my 'I'm sleeping' excuse.
Hurt flashes across his beautiful blue eyes, and I immediately feel the guilt in my gut.
"Sorry." I manage to croak out.
"Why are you avoiding me, Payton?" He asks. He looks so defeated and vulnerable and just plain tired. 'Of me.' I though bitterly.
"I'm not. Can you... Can you please just leave? I'm not exactly feeling well." I avert my eyes because if I look at him my tears would surely spill, and I don't want him to pity me.
"Oh... Okay. I'm sorry. I should've just given you a ride home last night."
"That's okay." You had other priorities. Like your girlfriend.
I turn my back on him and pretend to sleep.
I can feel him stand up, leaving the space beside me cold and empty.
And that's when the tears start to fall. I sob quietly until I hear the front door open and close, signaling his departure.
I still did even after he left.
***
I hear him. Of course I do. He is calling my name. And I ignore him.
I quietly walk down the hallways to my first period class. Literature.
It has been weeks since that embarrassing dinner night, but I just couldn't seem to make myself face Trevor.
I have been avoiding him ever since, and he still keeps on trying to get me to talk to him. Can he not tell that it's not going to happen?
I sigh, hugging my books closer to my body.
I need a hug right now.
Whoa, where did that came from?
'I wish I have a friend.' I sigh, yet again.
You see, ever since Trevor and I became friends we became inseparable. The only friend we had was each other. But I distanced myself from him when I started to have feelings for him.
Him, being nice and cheery and good-looking, managed to survive without me. He even became popular. He doesn't need me anymore.
And what happened to me? I became alone. He's the only friend I had, and I'm not exactly someone who you'd call 'friendly'.
"Watch it, freak." Kelly snaps at me. She's the stereotypical 'it' girl. And let me tell you, she's not 'friendly' either.
Her 'followers' snicker at her name-calling.
I ignore her. I ignore them.
I'm used to it. They do it every single day. No one helps me. No one dares to cross Kelly's way. Her dad's the principal. Favoritism.
I continue walking towards the Literature classroom.
"Payton!" I feel the strong grip of someone's hand on my arm, pulling me back and stopping me on my tracks. And suddenly, I am standing face-to-face with the person who managed to steal my heart without even realizing it.
"Oh. Hey Trevor." This is bad. I could already feel the tears threatening to spill. I need to get away from him. Fast.
"Payton..." He trails off. Maybe he sees the pain in my eyes; I only see concern in his.
"Look, as much as I wanted to have a chat with you, I can't. I have a test for first period and I need to study." It's not entirely a lie. I do have a test but I already studied last night. I already know everything there is to know about Shakespeare.
And, obviously, I needed an excuse to get away from him.
I turn around and march away from him with my head turned down to hide the emotions crossing my face, half-hoping he'd stop me and half-hoping he'd let me go.
It was the latter.
***
I'm walking home alone that afternoon. Classes ended 2 hours ago, but I spent my time at the library, looking for new books to read.
I found 3 books that look interesting enough.
These 3 books will probably last me for a week or two if I'm lazy.
I'm lost in my thoughts, remembering the praises I've read and heard about one of the authors.
And then Alyana sees me. She was calling my name; I ignored her too.
Looking straight ahead, I see my house. Almost there. It's just at the end of the street. Just 30 seconds at most.
"Payton! Didn't you hear me?" She laughs. Full of confidence, as always.
I sigh inaudibly. So close, yet so far.
"Sorry." I whisper, my eyes gazed downwards. I couldn't even look at her because I'll probably start crying.
Wow, I've become such a cry baby these past two years.
"Aw, come on, there's no need to be sorry about. You're my boyfriend's best friend so that automatically makes you my best friend." Ugh, why does she has to be so nice to me?
I don't respond to her, and she takes it as a sign to continue talking.
"So, do you wanna hang out sometimes, new best friend?" She beams at me as she waits for my answer.
I want to say no. I really, really, really do.
I know I'll only hurt myself if I say yes.
But I might hurt her if I refuse. I can't bear the thought of seeing pain flash across those mesmerizing gray eyes.
I guess I really just can't bear the thought of others being in pain because of me. Because somehow, I find myself saying yes to her.
***
She invited him.
Remember when Alyana asked me to hang out with her?
Well, today's the day. Saturday. If I didn't accept her invitation then I'm probably gonna be curled up in my bed right now with my nose under a book, which, by the way, is better than this, because she invited Trevor too.
We went see a movie first. Then went to Starbucks for some macchiato for Alyana, frappuccino for me and a cheesecake for Trevor. And now, we're in the beach. More specifically, in Alyana's family's Private Beach House. Turns out, her family is stinking rich.
We're on the front porch, just looking at the waves as they crash onto the shore, dragging everything they can into the wide ocean.
"Take me with you." I whisper so low it's barely audible.
Good thing they're too caught up in their conversation to realize I even said anything.
And I swear, I already said every possible excuse for them to let me go home but they didn't even believe me. Ugh, I just had to be a bad liar.
"You do know that you're a shitty liar, right?" I hear Trevor's chuckle beside me.
"Oh, don't tease her, Trev." Alyana chides, but I can see her holding back a smile.
"I wasn't teasing her, babe." Trevor pulls Alyana onto his lap, and she blushes furiously at their position.
"Trevor!" She hisses at him. "We're not alone, you know!"
Trevor's blue eyes focus on me as if he just remembers that I'm right here the whole time. "Oh, right." He sounds slightly disappointed. "But don't worry, she won't really mind. Right, Payton?" He smiles at me; I just nod at him.
And just like that, they become lost in their own little world. Not really caring about anything or anyone outside of it.
And me? I just watch them. I can see their happiness. It's in their smiles. It's in their eyes.
I know, it's creepy. But what else can I do? I'm the third wheel in their love story, and that's never going to change.
Finally, I took the hint. I'm not needed nor wanted here.
I sigh as I stood up from my chair, pick up my things, and walk away from them.
They didn't even notice me leave.
As I'm making my way to my car, thoughts swarm inside my head.
'She better hold onto him tight. Love him with all her heart. She's lucky to have him. All she got to do is look into those beautiful blue eyes and she'll know why.'
I didn't even realize that I'm already in front of my car, not until I felt a drop of liquid roll down my cheek.
I better get home. It's starting to rain.
I enter my car and start my long, lonely drive home.
But then I realize, it wasn't a raindrop, because even now that I'm safely inside the car, there are still drops of liquid racing down my cheeks until they reach the bottom of my chin, stopping for a moment or two before falling onto my bare legs.
I realize, those were actually my own tears.
When I finally reach my house and enter my bedroom, I change into my pajamas and lay down on the bed.
I glance at my bedside table to check the time.
But instead, I saw our picture.
It's our last picture together. It was taken on my 15th birthday. Just a few moments before I realized that I had fallen for him.
He was wearing khaki shorts and the blue shirt I gave him on his 15th birthday while his hair was messily styled. One arm was slung across my shoulder while the other was raised towards the camera with his fingers forming a thumbs-up.
He was grinning like a mad man and I thought he could never be more handsome than he was in this picture.
Guess I was wrong again.
As for me, I was wearing a white summer dress with my arms crossed. A scowl on my face, and I was grumbling incoherent words.
My red hair was a mess, making my head look like it was on fire, and I have cake icing on face.
Trevor did all of that to me. He messed up my hair, my cake, my birthday. And my life. Because he made me fall in love with him without even realizing it and didn't catch me.
I fell head first into the ground while he was busy catching someone else.
Finally, I put his picture down and notice the time on my clock. 12:51 AM.
I sigh. I should probably go to sleep now. But I didn't. Instead, I picked up my guitar from where it hangs on the wall, and then I start to play.
I guess this is a love story that will never have a happy ending, because the prince saved the wrong princess.
--
Thank you for reading!
Please excuse the mistakes, if there happens to be any. Or better yet, point them out!
((This story was based on Teardrops On My Guitar by Taylor Swift. I do not own the song; I do not take credit for the song. But, I do take credit for the story because I wrote it, and I'm the legit author of it.))
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