Chapter 23: Celebrations...
The crisp dead leaves crackled beneath his feet as the faint air blew past him and vanished from his sight like a beautiful dream yet to be grasped. He took a breath and let the air dwell inside him, filling his senses to the end. He was walking in the woods, shrugging off leaves from his chest with his bare hands. He smelled the fragrance of the freshly prepared kheer. Suddenly, he glanced up and the scenery changed.
He was in a school. His village school. The classroom felt smaller and more cramped than ever before. He brushed his hands upon the damp yellow walls, trying to memorise every crack and crevice of its form. And then he heard someone whisper his name.
Reyan! It spoke in a soft tone. The call was desperate and yet controlled. It felt as if someone wanted him urgently.
Reyan! It beckoned him towards itself like the winds that inveigle winters into following its command. And therefore, he let his ears be the guide in the journey of discovering the bearer of the voice.
Come fast! Come fast! Like an agile child who has got a profound liking towards a new toy, his footsteps too increased their pace. The jovial ringing of temple bells increased and he heard himself laughing wildly. He kept on following the voice but now it was looking like a maze with endless voices tuned in to confuse his way.
Suddenly the school too faded away and what he saw was a horrid image of a figure occupying the bed in the dark room. It was his grandmother. She was breathing roughly and every breath felt like a job she wanted to resign herself from. Her face no longer contained the same glow of the summer sun and her eyesight had withered greatly.
Reyan was afraid but he mustered his courage and went towards the corpse-like figure. She was muttering inaudible chants. On moving closer, he heard her speaking something much more horrible than the room itself.
Death. Death. Death... She said as she kept staring at the ceiling in pure tranquility. He tried to wake her up but it didn't help. She kept on muttering the rotten word and Reyan covered his ears and started screaming.
He woke up from his dream to find that he was crying. He took a breath of relief. A strange feeling of abandonment and nostalgia clung to his chest, making him uncomfortable. The cloaked darkness of the nightmare was dissolved into the rays of the morning sun. And for a long time, Reyan remained seated on his bed, staring at nothing.
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Since the day Manan had told him that he would talk to his parents, Reyan had been worried for reasons he didn't know himself. Although he had spoken sagely to Manan before, saying that he should in fact talk to his parents, it got to a whole new level of anxiousness upon him when Manan in fact agreed to talk.
And therefore Reyan had tried, with his heart and soul, to prevent the "talking" from happening for now.
The problem was that Reyan wanted the family to unite once and for all but he wanted a right time for the talk to happen. The topic was big and he and Manan would probably come out of the closet with the discussion. Reyan wanted all things to go atleast cordially, if not perfectly, right.
It was mid-October and a sense of cool and calmness had touched every town and every city. And what was more, Diwali was coming yet again. Reyan wanted that the discussion should happen after the festival so that they could spend a little good time together.
He was sitting quietly in his classroom when William entered. There were people in the room. Their eyes met for an instant and Reyan was about to speak something when he stopped himself. William's lips twitched as he too saw a subtle change in Reyan. The moment of transformation didn't last long as both of them drew their eyes away and went on their separate ways. Somehow, Reyan couldn't voice out what he was feeling. A new realisation had set face in his mind. Most people leave you when they know who you really are. And in turn, you get to know who they really are.
The preparation had once again started at full swing. There was never more of an excitement throughout the school as was there for the annual day. Reyan's play was going only too well. All the characters for the roles were decided and they were practicing their parts thoroughly. Reyan clearly remembered the day he had gone to Mrs. Crick again after his storyline was dismissed once.
She had been sitting on the same teacher's chair in the same staff room as she did before. He knocked at the door and she nodded him in. After reading the script, a tight expression came upon her rough countenance. She kept the script at the desk and folded her hands. She looked at Reyan and kept smiling. And he knew what he had to do.
From then on, Reyan was determined to make the Play the best thing in the whole function and therefore he was barking instructions like the 'Old Man of the house'. Manan and Zainab were in the lead role. Every member of their group was in some role or the other. Even Tanya and two of her friends were in the play, much to Manan's dislike. But he sighed once and accepted it anyways on the condition that Tanya would not speak to him throughout the play. Initially, Reyan denied the condition but seeing that Manan was too adamant on his demand, he agreed.
Days passed away in toiling for the function and Diwali arrived. Reyan was enthralled for the celebration. He had planned so much for the day and was looking forward to having a great time. He and his friends pooled in their money and brought innumerable crackers, lighters and diyas.
Diwali morning entered the country with a beautiful simmering sun and the air was rich with smell of various sweets and crackers. Children were running throughout the streets, their hands grasping small hand bomb crackers.
The celebration was in Manan's house and they all gathered up by seven. Adit and Raman's mouth remained ajar all the way till they reached the steps. It seemed as if they would fall back at the slightest touch. Even Riya, who had never visited the mansion, was awed at the magnanimity of the building.
They spent a couple of hours lighting up crackers after which Riya started speaking in some new language using her facial expressions. Within moments, all of them started making excuses to go back home. They thanked Manan for his hospitality and the fun time they had. At last, only Reyan and Manan were left.
Manan smiled at him muttering a Finally as Reyan smiled back. Manan took his hand and lead them both inside the house. They went to the Drawing room. They were just sitting upon the posh sofa when the doorbell rang. Manan opened the door and a shock came over his face. Standing before them were Manan's parents.
"Oh." Mrs. Mahajan said in a bleak surprise as she stared at Reyan.
"Well, hello. Happy diwali...?" His father said.
"Reyan. It's Reyan, my name, that is. It's nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Mahajan."
"Why of course Reyan, it is." His father said with such two-facedness that Reyan was taken aback. The man wasn't trying to hide it, neither in his tone nor his body language. They clearly wanted Reyan out of the house.
"He's staying over tonight." Manan snapped. There was hostility in his speech as if he would wage a war on them if they denied. Reyan felt happy and sad at the same time. His mother eyed Manan for a bit too longer until she said, "Okay."
Tanya came out of her room as soon she heard that her parents had returned.
"Oh Mumma, Papa! I thought you would not be coming until the day after tomorrow! It's such a nice surprise." She said and then she saw Reyan. She beamed at him, "Why, you. Let's go light up some crackers together in the terrace." She grabbed Reyan's hand and they went past the surprised expression of his parents. Manan however stayed back.
Tanya got them a candle and some crackers as Reyan started burning a sparkler.
"Mumma and papa came! Can you believe it? They are always very busy. I thought we won't be able to spend another Diwali together but here they are!" She looked radiant, like the sparkler in Reyan's hand.
"He-y!" Manan waved as he went over to them.
"Where were you?"
"Just um... just having small talks with my parents." Reyan couldn't miss the sulking voice as he emphasised on 'small talks'.
They stood quietly for some time and then unexpectedly, Manan grabbed Reyan from the back by his waist and turned him towards himself.
"What are you doing!" Reyan said unnecessarily as Manan drew closer and planted a deep kiss on his lips. Tanya looked with a mingled shock and happiness at the two of them. Her eyes looked dreamy as if she were playing the same scenario in her mind with herself and some unknown boy in the place of those two.
"Tanya!" A voice snapped. Before they could respond, the damage was done. Mrs. Mahajan's eyes were wide and her mouth was twice as big as that of Adit and Raman's from before. It seemed that she had come to the terrace to call Tanya but saw something she should never have. Her stance showed that the shock hadn't registered fully as there were no lines of anger on it. His father came a bit late but saw them holding each other too. Reyan quickly tried to draw away but Manan held him tighter.
"We can't tell them now!" He hissed at Manan but the latter was no longer listening to him. Manan's eyes were kept firmly on his parents. His grasp got tighter around Reyan by the second.
"This is not what you think it is Mr. and Mrs. Mahajan." Reyan tried to shove him away but somehow Manan had become much more masculine and stronger.
"What is it Mom? Dad? What are you gaping at?" He asked, not removing his eyes from them for even a moment.
"What are you-" His mother said and then stopped midway as if she wanted someone else to complete the question for her.
"You are right." Manan said with a firmness. "This guy that you consider a 'no one' is the one I love. He is my whole damn life. And he is the only thing keeping me together till now. So don't you people dare-"
"Manan! What is this that you are doing! Get away from him right now!" His father barked, waving his hands as if he considered Reyan just anything. Hid mother's shock was fading by the instant and being replaced with anxiousness but his father's was elevating.
"I won't."
Suddenly, Manan's father came at them and used his force to push them away. "Get away." He spoke with gritted teeth.
"Manan let's just-" Reyan begged him amidst the unwanted commotion.
"Noooo!" Manan shrieked. His father paused and stared at him. Without warning, he slapped Manan hard on the cheek. Manan didn't flinch.
"Disgusting! You're a disgrace to our family!" Not saying another word, he went away. Manan was glaring daggers at him. His nose was flaring and his heartbeat has reached to its maximum potential. He looked at his mother who was shaking her head and crying.
"After we finally accepted you," She said between her sobs, not caring that Reyan, a stranger to her, was listening, "you did this!" Huge droplets of tears flowed down her cheek as she covered her face with her hands.
"I never was and never will be accepted in your house. And I never considered, for a moment even, that you did accept me. For all I know, even I could never accept you as my mother."
She glanced up at the last statement, the final words that remained hanging on the air. She shook her head more vigorously, "I cant- I can't-" She turned away and started walking.
All this while Reyan had been listening to the whole conversation and now he knew that it wasn't Manan's fault alone. He was angry at his parents too. He shook Manan away and followed his mother inside.
"Where are you going?" Manan called after him but Reyan was oblivious to every other sound except the one playing on his heart.
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It was roughly an hour after which Reyan came to the terrace again. Manan was still there but Tanya was gone.
Manan heard some movement and looked back to find Reyan walking over to him. "Where were you? Trying to make them look at the situation? Make them feel sorry for their son?"
"Shut the fuck up." Reyan spoke calmly. It was surprising to know that the anger in him hadn't calmed down.
"Sorry." Manan muttered as they both stood up looking at the night sky.
The sky was full and thick with dense fog from the crackers being lighted. There were no stars. Sound of rockets and bombs filled the void between Manan and Reyan as they stared at the houses ahead of them, decorated with fairy lights, coloured bulbs, diyas, rangolis, platters of sweets and whatnot.
Reyan had wanted the "talk" to happen in a peaceful situation. They could have sorted everything out. Alas! It all turned into a fiasco. Things never happened the way you wanted them to. He was enraged at Manan's parents for reacting in such a way. Moreover, the 'Diwali' he wanted to have with his lover could never be fulfilled.
"Reyan," Manan called him as if he was standing at a distance even though they were just feets apart. "I know that you are trying hard enough for me and I appreciate that and I have fallen in love with you even more for that. But please stop this. It is impossible." Manan said.
Reyan looked up at him. There was something different in his face. He looked sad. He looked not angry or devasted but sad. Reyan wanted to hug him and remove all the sadness out of him but he couldn't.
"Somethings never change." Manan added, completing his share of thoughts but Reyan knew better than to speak at such a point.
A cracker bursted in the cold sky and there was a huge explosion of golden light all over. And then the sky was dark again as if the illumination never occurred. Was Manan right? Should he stop doing this? Reyan thought for a while.
The terrace of other houses had people standing in them too. Everyone, with their families, was enjoying what was left of Diwali. The sky continued to light up with thousands of crackers like a bulb flickering colourful lights. There was a romanticism in the air but Reyan felt none of it. He had a knack that Manan was feeling the same. After all, this had always been a sensitive issue for him.
"Happy diwali." Manan whispered. The irony hung on the air like dead weights upon their shoulders before Reyan replied without thinking.
"Happy diwali to you too."