[Ryoichi]
She has been bed pinned into her hospital for days. Not even a single response were observed from her. Araw-araw din akong nakabantay sa kanya. Dieve tends to go inside the Intensive Care Unit and I always say no going in.
Hindi ko kaya na makita siyang nabubuhay na lamang gamit ang mga aparato na nakakabit sa kanya. Hindi ko kaya na makita ang mga tubong nakakabit sa kanya.
I buried my face on my palm as I heaved a deep sigh. "Ayaw mo pa rin ba makita siya? You're always here but you didn't even consider to go inside." Tumingala ako at nakita ko si Janice na may hawak na can ng fruit juice. "Oh, inumin mo 'to." Abot niya sa fruit juice.
"Umaasa pa rin ba kayo na magigising si Reed?" tanong niya. I looked at her in disbelief. "You really asked me that question?" I scoff. "Ilang araw na siyang nakaratay riyan, Ichi. Ilang araw na lang din at i-coconsider na siyang brain dead. They didn't see any response nor a sign of waking up from Reed."
"Bakit? Alam mo ba ang mangyayari sa kanya? Diba mata lang naman ng kinabukasan ang nasa iyo? Hindi mo masasabing mamatay siya dahil hindi mo makikita ang kamatayan niya."
"'Yon na nga 'yon, Ichi! Nung una ko siyang nakita wala akong nakita sa kinabukasan niya!" napatigil ako sa sinabi niya. "Wala akong nakita kundi dilim. That's the very first time I saw nothing with my eyes."
"Ano ibig mong sabihin?" hindi ako makapaniwala na may pagkakataon na hindi mo maari makita ang isang bagay gamit ang mga mata namin.
"The very first time I saw Reed is the time we bump into you in the hallway. The day she found out you are one of us. That time I saw her, I saw nothing. I saw darkness. A deep pit of darkness. Hindi ko mapigilan na magtaka bakit hindi ko nakikita ang future niya, I tried to think that I can't see the future of those with the eyes. But then I saw yours."
Tumingin siya sa akin. "Yours is full of danger, bloodshed that will lead to death. But the last thing I see is tears, tears while looking at a grave." Hindi ko napigilan na ang sarili ko upang magsalita. "Whose grave?"
"I didn't see whose grave it is. But that's the very last thing I see, but what's weird is, I saw Reed all over your future."
Pinigilan ko ilabas ang mga ngiti ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan ni Reed. So my future is Reed.
You better wake up soon, Reed. You are my future.
"They're opening the curtains. It's viewing hours." Napansin ko ngang hinahawi na ang kurtina sa ICU at unti-unti na naming nakikita si Reed.
She's like a vegetable lying there. She's lifeless. Sobrang putla ng maputi niyang balat. Ang labi niya nagtitipak na halos at maputla na rin. Sobrang layo sa dating Reed. Between the span of days Reed changed.
"Pansin ko lang, you didn't even dare to go inside the ICU." Wika ni Janice. Pinagsalikop ko lang ang mga kamay ko at pinaglaruan iyon. "I can't." I honestly answered.
Hindi ko alam pero hindi ko na kaya pang tignan si Reed sa ganoong sitwasyon, she's lifeless. The total opposite of what other people knew about her, and it was all my fault that she was there. "Are you saying that Dieve should be beside her at times like this?"
I was taken aback with that question. Am I really not deserving to stay by her side? "She needs him at times like this." Wala sa loob kong sagot.
This is too much for me to handle, I can't afford to lose someone again. Kuya Dino is enough, if Reed will be another victim of my misfortune then I'll never hold on her for her to be safe.
"Bakit parang ipinamimigay mo siya? Aren't you seeing yourself being with her?"
"She deserve someone not me, I only bring misfortune to her. And if sending her away is the only solution for her not to be caught in my misfortunes. I might even send her away with him. After all, she's not mine."
Sa mga sinabi kong yon muli akong tumingin kay Reed. If hadn't come back she might not be there, suffering. We wouldn't be thinking that tomorrow she might be declared brain dead. It's too much to think of.
"This is all your fault." A haunting voice echoed in my ears. A deep, cold voice of a girl. I tried to open my eyes but it's no use.
Kahit pa nakapikit ako parang nakikita ko lahat. Suddenly pictures flashes in front of me, horrific pictures. Para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig sa mga nakikita ko.
This will be all my fault, I will just bring misfortune to them. "Don't you even dare, this time you can't run away, you can't run, you can't hide. Face all of this misfortunes or everyone will be at risk."
I tried to cover my ears but with no use. Para bang tumatagos ang mga salita niya sa tainga ko. Hindi! Para bang nagsasalita siya sa isip ko mismo. Hindi ko siya makita pero rinig ko ang galit at poot niya.
I woke when Ziggy licked my face. I was drenched with sweat kahit pa fully air-conditioned ang kwarto ko. "Thanks Zig." Iniupo ko sa binti ko si Ziggy at pansin ko na hindi gaano kalakas ang pagkuwag ng buntot niya. "You're scared?" I asked him, tumahol lamang siya ng isa kaya hinagod ko na lamang ang ulo niya.
Tinignan ko ang oras sa bedside table ko at nakita kong ala-sais na ng umaga. Kinuha ko naman ang cellphone ko at nagulat ako na may limang tawag doon galing kay Janice at isang tawag galing kay Dieve.
Dinial ko ang number ni Janice at kamailang ring lang din ay sinagot na niya.
"Ryoichi, you should go here in the hospital!"
Kinabahan ako sa sinabi niya, she was screaming at the top of her lungs.
"Bakit?"
"Reed-"
"What happened?"
I heard her heave a sigh. "She finally woke up."