So, here's the second random update. Ummm... Life hasn't been treating me well. I've been really depressed, and I feel super lonely. I made a new friend though, so that's good. They're the only friend I have in my town. Lately, my interactions with adults haven't been good. They just say and do things that discourage me, make me feel guilty, and make me feel stupid.
There are so many things about myself that I despise. I don't think the people that are trying to help me get that. Someone even implied that what I'm going through isn't as bad as I think it is. They don't even understand what I'm going through, and how bad it actually is.
On top of the external and internal conflicts, there's just knowing that nobody wants me. I'm not good enough for anyone. I mean, in a romantic way. I'm just tired of being lonely. I want to connect to someone. To be with someone who understands me and loves me for who I am. Someone who can help me love myself.
I know I sound so stupid, but it's true. I know I'm so young, but constantly feeling like you're not good enough for anyone, and not having anyone to tell you differently is tiring. I keep getting rejected, which only enforces my feelings of not being good enough for anyone. Why doesn't anyone love me? I don't understand.
Well, that's the end of my rant for today. Sorry for sounding and being so stupid.