The conversation with Niki added the gun powder to the fire. Xenia refused to accept Niki's views. She was Andrew's; he was the one; he had to be the one. Andrew was a reasonable choice, and Xenia was going to prove it.
"Andrew."
"Xenia."
"I'm sorry," the woman said as she stepped into his loft.
"Stop saying that. It's not your fault if I don't have enough confidence to go through this."
Andrew was a calm man who did not need to fend for anything. For the first time in his life, he got angry and used violence. The man hated this irrational part of him, but he was afraid to lose Xenia if he didn't react.
Xenia saw the worry in the man's eyes; having never lived such a situation, Xenia didn't know what to say except, "I love you."
The man advanced to his living room, "I know, but right now, it's difficult for me to remain calm knowing Gregory is around stalking you. You know what? I understand, Gregory. I'm afraid to lose you as well. I can't even believe I lived all these years without you."
"Andrew, please, I'm with you," Xenia kissed the man while she began to unbutton his shirt.
"Xenia," was all Andrew could say. The man couldn't resist the woman who was shirtless before him.
"I love you. Let me show you."
Sex, this wordless communication in which Xenia hoped to convey her message of love. The act was passionate but filled with pain, guilt, disappointment, and unconscious desires. Andrew and Xenia were in those strong tides which could sink the ship at any moment.
Something was different as the man drove her home. Xenia didn't dare ask if Andrew was okay. The kiss the man gave Xenia when she got out of the car felt like a farewell.
A gut feeling told Xenia she wouldn't see him again, but something held her back from running after him or calling him. This reasoning hinted to her to let things be for it was better and fair for Andrew.
XX XY
The feeling which kept her up all night confirmed the necessity of its presence when the letter arrived by courier the next afternoon at her office.
The note was simple:
Here are the plane tickets for you and Sia; they are open for 30 days.
The choice is yours.
Love Andrew
Xenia was confused; she was his.
Why did Andrew doubt?
In Andrew's presence, Xenia was carefree and happy. Now the woman felt abandoned, Andrew gave up too quickly, and it frustrated Xenia. After a few minutes, she was furious. Andrew's note resembled a goodbye.
Why did he give her such an ultimatum and leave her?
The uncertainties started to merge. An hour later, Xenia no longer saw where her feelings stood.
Andrew was the subtle and constant love with strong foundations. He was trustworthy; he never disappointed the woman until this instant.
Gregory was the passion, a love that bites back. They argued they were rarely in accord, with Gregory Xenia was anxious, scared of losing him, fearful of loving him. The woman's heart found itself in permanent torment.
At this point, she desired to be with neither of them. Her throbbing head and heart told her not to make any hasty decisions. She needed time to think things over.
Why did she have to make the wrong choices all the time?
Why couldn't her view be crystal clear?
Why did these men toy with her heart?
If she had to judge their worth, both were more than deserving, making her feel lucky yet unworthy of them.
What did they see in her?
At this point, Xenia saw nothing but an exhausted, almost 29-year-old single mom who still didn't know which way to go while standing at the crossroad.
XY XX
In true Xenia style, the woman took another drastic decision.
Ann-Catherin adjusted Xenia's coat collar, "are you sure about this?"
"Yes."
"Last time it was the hair, now you are getting on a plane and leaving Paris. Running doesn't solve a thing. You have two good men who want to spend their life with you. I never had that choice, not once. Perhaps this is God's final push, Xenia, seize the opportunity before it passes," Ann-Catherine told her.
"I know, mom, but I need time to think. I know this will sound childish and selfish to you, but I need one more sign to make up my mind. If God would only do one more miracle."
Ann-Catherin slid her head back in a what rubbish are you blabbering motion, "God can't choose for you, Xenia. At what time you'll arrive in Canada?"
"8 AM."
Bad resolutions, Xenia opted for her specialty. Running was all she could do. That's why Xenia had forty-two pairs of sneakers; the woman continuously ran in life and her mind. Only one person managed to retrieve the woman when she strayed away, but would he do it again?
"Maman."
"Oui, Sia," Xenia replied to Sia before turning back to face Ann-Catherin, "please don't worry, we'll be fine."
At this instant, Xenia understood how, despite her resolve, she copied her mother. Here she imposed one of her crazy decisions on Sia and Oasis, who had no choice but to tag along.
Xenia promised herself this was the last time. After this, she would face everything head-on.
XY XX
Xenia asked for one more sign, and only a week after Xenia's departure, Ann-Catherine opened the door to an unexpected visitor.
"Madame."
"Doux Jesus [sweet Jesus]."
"Eh, I don't know if you remember me."
Ann-Catherin cocked her legendary flexible brow that she let to throb for the special occasion, "how can I forget a man that was half-naked in my daughter's living room."
Gregory gave a crisped grin showing all his teeth, "great, you remember. Do you mind if I come inside forㅡ?"
Ann-Catherin's head tilted to the side, "yes, I do mind."
Gregory sighed, "okay, let's talk here. I don't mind corridors; this one will do. Eh, I need to talk to Xenia."
"As you can see, Xenia isn't here."
"I know, but perhaps you can tell me where she is," Gregory said, using his most persuasive tone, which usually had its little effect. Here Gregory's question was greeted by Ann-Catherine's crossed arms and tightly shut lips.
"Alright, Madame, I'll be honest with you, Iㅡ," Gregory stopped and smiled to himself. He got the hang of admitting his feelings for Xenia. The man even saw it as a natural gesture to affirm his emotions, "I love your daughter, and with or without your help, I will find her."
Ann-Catherin remained silent before unleashing, "listen up, Ko Phi Phi eyes, my daughter got her life sorted, and you came along to spoil everything."
"You're right; that's why I'm here to fix things. You know what? I don't need your help. If you tell me where Xenia is, she'll probably not speak to you for the next decade. So let's not do that. I'll find another solution. Anyway, thank you, madame, for listening to me, I'll be off."
With these words, Gregory left Ann-Catherin, who began to laugh as she thought about how the man tried to spare her a quarrel with Xenia. Gregory knew Xenia well, too well, and even at this moment where the woman was out of reach, the man responded to her silent call.