Near to You
14
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When the time comes baby don’t run. Just kiss me slowly.
Kiss Me Slowly – Parachute
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It had started to snow since we arrived five days ago, so Zayn and I had been confined to the bungalow mostly, unless either of us were brave enough to face the weather only to come back completely drenched moments later.
I sat on a ledge, forehead placed against the window pane as I stared out into the driveway where the black jeep we had driven up was parked. The scenery was as dull and dreary as the weather but perched here I felt as if I were at least doing something, rather than sitting on the couch in front of the dwindling fire re-reading the only book I had thought to bring: my notebook.
I thought that I would have gotten some writing done, being in such a confined space for a prolonged period, but somehow, even this early on in the story, I was at a loss for words about what to say next. I was blocked and it infuriated me even more than being trapped inside.
“What are you doing?” Zayn had entered the room without me noticing and I glanced back at him quickly before peering out the window once more.
“Wishing it weren’t snowing,” I admitted. I had always hated the snow. It was cold, and wet, and the clouds always kept away the sun. During the winter I always wished for it to be summer again.
“Doesn’t it snow a lot where you’re from?” He questioned, perching on the edge of the couch.
“I don’t like it though.” I rolled my eyes. People always assumed that because I was Canadian I preferred the cold weather. Honestly, I would have preferred the year to be eternally sunny.
“I think it’s quite pretty.” He peaked out the window over my shoulder. “It makes everything seem so much quieter, as if we are the only two people left in the world.”
“It’s too quiet,” I said.
“You complain a lot.” He sent a small smile my way and I blushed, ducking my head into the crook of my elbow.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I’m an awful person to be around when I have nothing to do.”
“Let’s go out.”
“What?” I said, pulling myself away from the window so I could look at the boy who was dressed in a sweater and a pair of loose pants. “Zayn, it’s practically a blizzard out there.”
“So what?” he replied. “Harry didn’t let us come out here just so we would stay in separate rooms tip toeing around each other, and speaking even less than we would have in London.”
“I’ve been here the entire time doing nothing.” I pointed out. “I didn’t exactly lock myself away.”
“Let’s just go,” Zayn insisted. He came a few steps closer and tried to bring me to my feet. “What harm would it cause?”
“Hypothermia, for one,” I listed. “Pneumonia. The flu.”
“Just risk it, then.” Zayn bit his lip for a moment before continuing. “We leave for London tomorrow, and then in a few days you’ll be home for two weeks. We won’t get to spend time like this together again for a while.”
I took it into consideration. He was right. We had wasted most of what little time we had together. We normally just went our separate ways for most of the day, only really eating meals together. I did not even know what he did when I wallowed by myself in the living room. What if he had been just as bored as I was?
He could have been doing so many other things and instead he was trapped away with me. It would have been selfish for me to lock myself away for the final night of our trip.
“Alright.”
I pulled myself to my feet and pulled on my coat. Wrapping my scarf around my neck I cursed the weather silently. I had not expected it to be sunny and warm, but I didn’t want this much snow either. After we were both dressed I followed him out of the door tentatively into the snow.
We had to struggle to get a few feet and I was very near giving up but Zayn stopped and gave me a blinding smile. He was happy that we were finally spending time together and I was not about to cut it short just because I was too lazy to take a proper walk.
We wandered down the path around the house toward the closed pool. I could imagine myself here during the summer, sitting with my feet dipped in the cool water. It was too bad that I probably wouldn’t be there again.
“Harry didn’t want to use the bungalow?” It had been very sweet of him to offer it to us, but it still felt as if there was some underlying reason to get us both out here alone. If I was presumptuous, I would have thought Harry was trying to get us together.
“He thought we’d make more use of it.”
“He’ll be disappointed.”
“I don’t think so.” Zayn shook his head. I pursed my lips and continued to follow him a little further toward the fence.
“So what have you been doing?” I asked to break the silence.
“Mostly catching up on my sleep,” he said sheepishly. I shook my head. I had realized during the past few days that Zayn could sleep through anything, including when I stubbed my toe, cursing loudly through the rooms until it stopped throbbing. “What about you?”
“Failing to write.” I sighed. “And then being annoyed with my failure to write.”
“An assignment?” He was confused. “I thought you were finished with that class for the year.”
“I have it again next semester.” It was not a lie but I still felt horrible about not telling him the entire truth. I was getting tired of keeping this secret. I was surprised by this because I hadn’t had much of a problem for the past two years. Now, at this very moment I wished everyone knew who I was because at least then I would be able to tell Zayn the truth. Even if my life would never be the same, it would be better than lying to Zayn, who clearly believed every word I was saying.
Only two more months, I reminded myself, not even that, and then everyone would know. Zayn would know. How would he react? I bit my lip as my stomach erupted from nerves. I would tell him just before then, I decided. A few days before I went public I would meet with him at Frankie’s and tell him about everything. That way, at least, he wouldn’t hear it fromathird party. Maybe coming from me, he’d understand.
“Harry always said he wanted to kiss a girl in the rain,” Zayn suddenly commented, stopping ahead of me on the trail. I halted immediately so I would not run into him and cause us both to fall in the slush.
“Harry’s watched the Notebook one time too many.”
“Well, yes.” Zayn laughed. He turned to face me and my breath became hitched in my throat. His eyes; the same intense fire that had been in them earlier, and that night on the town, it had returned, and they were looking right at me. “But it’s not just that. I sort of understand what he’s talking about.”
I pushed my damp hair out of my eyes so I could look at him properly. His lips were tilted upward as he ducked down so the snowflakes wouldn’t fall into his eyes.
“It’s all just hype.” I shrugged. “It isn’t that amazing.”
His eyes met mine again. My fingers curled into my palms as he took a few steps closer. We were toe to toe when he reached over and wrapped his hands around mine. I studied the ball it had created curiously and he squeezed tightly.
“Have you done it before?” he asked. “Is that coming from experience?”
“No.” It came out just above a whisper. “Just what I believe.”
“Well you shouldn’t cast it aside completely before you try it.”
“I guess I’ll have to try it sometime then, won’t I?”
He smiled, leaning close enough that I could see the tiny beads of snow lodged in his long eyelashes. “I guess so, but what about snow?”
“What about it?”
“Is it ‘all hype’ too?”
“I don’t know,” I mused. “It’s a bit different, maybe.”
He closed the gap between us swiftly. My gasp of surprise never had the chance to leave my lips because his were planted firmly over them. As I grasped the small hairs at the back of his head, he pulled back a little.
“Not all it’s made out to be?”
“Is that the best you’ve got?” I replied just as smarmily. “That’s not exactly a kiss to go by.”
When he pulled me close once more, I knew I would be forced to eat my words. Zayn had proven me wrong: Harry Styles was definitely on to something.