buckle up kiddos. here we go.
Any semblance of sleepiness drained from me. My senses were on high alert-everywhere where my skin touched Lex's felt as though they were receiving electric shocks. Lex's mouth quirked up at the corner as he took in my expression. I was stunned, to say the least.
"What do I do to you?" My voice was barely above a whisper. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. Lex leaned forwards, his breath tickling the shell of my ear.
"So much, baby. You do so much to me." He murmured. "I'm a bad man, Ruth. And you're so innocent. All I want to do is corrupt you."
He pulled away, one hand snaking under my shirt to rest on the flat of my back. His calloused fingers caught on my smooth skin, and I let out a trembling breath. It felt natural; like something inside me was pulling me closer to him. His thumb stroked circles over my spine, and I closed my eyes, tipping my head sideways.
"I don't know what to say to that." I said weakly.
"Then don't say anything." Lex replied, leaning forwards so his forehead was touching mine. I nodded against him, and he slid away, kissing the tender spot where my neck met my shoulder. I inhaled as a sharp pain permeated my skin.
"It's alright." Lex kissed my forehead. "It won't stick around long." He tapped the spot with a finger, and I put my hand over it.
"What did you do?"
Lex chuckled darkly, and tugged on my pouting lower lip.
"Of course you've never had a hickey before." He mused. "I just want everyone to know exactly who you belong to."
I leapt out of bed and into the bathroom before Lex could stop me. Sure enough, there was a bruise on the delicate skin of my neck. Lex appeared in the doorway, lounging casually against the frame. His hair was tousled, and his normally perpetually stormy face was relaxed-satisfied, even. He looked like the cat that got the cream.
"You gave me a bruise!" I said, turning to him. "On my neck!"
Lex stepped into the bathroom, his hands outspread in front of him. He did not look even slightly apologetic.
"It's called a hickey, darling. It will go away. But not before I give you more." He said, taking my hand in his. I gulped as he raised the inside of my wrist to his mouth, biting gently on the thin skin. Again, there was a sharp pain, and then he released it. Sure enough, there was a spreading dark spot over my tendons.
"So sweet." He said. I stepped back as he stepped forwards, until I was backed against the wall. Both of his hands trapped me, effectively pinning me. "So pure. Hmm. You're the opposite of me, darling.."
"You're starting to scare me." I said, and Lex cocked his head at me, his eyes dark and glinting in the low light. For a moment I thought he was going to bite me again, but instead, he threaded his fingers through my hair.
"I'll be gentle, Ruth." He said. "Never be afraid of me. You're the one person I would never hurt."
I choked for air.
"You don't mean-not tonight. I can't." I stumbled over my words, my tongue suddenly clumsy and slow. Lex tugged my hair gently, my head tipping back. I stared up at him, my eyelashes fluttering. "Please." I said.
I felt like a cornered animal, trapped in an opulent cage. My heart was in my throat, and my belly burned deep within me. There was an urge to run, to escape the predator in front of me, but there was also the fire in my hands and face that told me to stay put. Lex smiled, and I imagined him with fangs, poised and ready to strike. Instead, he kissed me hard, his hand in my hair pressing me to him.
I kissed him back, as best as I knew how, and he tapped my hips.
"Jump." I jumped, and he caught me, my legs wrapping around his waist, his arms supporting me. "Your mind goes a million miles a minute, Ruth. Just settle down." He said. " I know you aren't like the girls I've had here before. You're too trusting, and I will never break that."
I wrapped my arms around his neck, looking him straight in the eyes for the first time that night. We both knew we had crossed the final line, but not a single cell in my body regretted it.
"Are you going to give me more...marks?" Despite myself, I blushed at the question. Lex shifted my weight, and kissed me on the nose.
"You can call them hickeys. And not if you don't want me to. Mmm...I just like people to know you're mine."
I buried my head in his shoulder, and I felt a laugh rumble through him. He sat on the bed, and I uncoiled slightly, but not letting my grip around his neck go.
"I don't mind them." I murmured. "I want people to know that, too."
"To know what?" Lex teased, lifting my chin up with one finger. "What do you want them to know, hm?"
I pouted, and he wagged a finger in my face.
"None of that, my dear. You tell me, what do you want them to know?" I knew he was trying to embarrass me, but the issue was that it was working. I covered my face with my hands, ashamed of the colour in my cheeks.
"Don't make me say it." I squeaked.
Lex placed his hands on my bare back again, under my thin shirt. They cooled my flushed skin, and I shivered a little at the temperature difference.
"Oh, but I want to hear you say it." He all but demanded. I twisted up my face in the safety of my hands, but finally blurted it out.
"I want them to know I'm yours." I stumbled over my words, they came out so fast. I dropped my hands from my face, and met Lex's mirthful eyes.
"Good." He said, and slid his hand down my spine, until it rested on my tailbone, over top of my thin underwear. I squirmed a little, but his other hand was firm on my hip, holding me still. I bit my lip, my breathing coming short and fast.
"Don't bite your lip." Lex warned. "I can't promise to control myself when you do that. You don't bite it, unless you want me to bite it for you."
I let it go, and tucked my hair behind me ear, unsure of what to do next. He was playing gently with the waistband of my underwear, his fingertips brushing against my skin with every movement. I felt as though I couldn't draw in enough air, and when he leaned forwards to bite the side of my throat, I nearly blacked out from lack of oxygen. I felt frozen, my hands beginning to shake. I was dizzy from excitement and nerves and from the sheer newness of it all.
"Lex." I finally got out. He stopped, and looked me in the eyes, noticing for the first time how pale I had gotten.
"Oh, Ruth." He said, and his hands disappeared from my skin, coming forwards to brush the hair out of my eyes. "Darling."
"I'm alright." I said. "I just don't know what to do." My inexperience was coming back to haunt me, and somewhere below it, a ghost, a ghoul of some hidden thought writhed.
"Of course you don't." He rubbed my shoulder. "You can stop me anytime, Ruth. Do you want to sleep?"
My body was running on a high that would be impossible to come down from enough to sleep. I was shaking, and my mouth tingled. Every inch of me was flooded with adrenaline. I kissed Lex, hard, taking him by surprise.
"No." I said. "I don't want to sleep."
In a split second, Lex had flipped me onto my back, so he was balancing over me. Again came the fight or flight response; this man was not a man, but a predator ready for the kill. Even his smile was feral, his canines gleaming.
"Is that so?" He growled. "And why not, hm? Is someone keeping you awake?"
I let out a giggle, and his smile widened. He leaned down, and whispered into my ear.
"What's so funny, doll?"
My eyes popped open as I felt his hands slide past my hips and rest low on my back, his fingers sliding back and forth over the waist on my underwear. I flinched as he snapped it against my skin, the sound making me jump.
"I didn't think it was funny." He said, and without thinking, I bit my lip. He growled again, and kissed me, biting my lip. "What did I tell you?"
I wiggled, trying to free myself, but Lex pressed him hips into mine, stopping any movement. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed at my determined expression.
"You're like a baby animal trying to scare a wolf." He said. "It won't work."
I tried to growl low in my throat, the way he did, but it came out as whine. Lex straightened up, kneeling above me. His hands let go of me, and drifted onto the flat of my stomach. I struggled to hold in laughter at the tickling sensation, and covered my mouth with my hand.
"So beautiful." Lex murmured, and then swung himself over the bed to stand. "Time for bed, Ruth. It's late. Come brush your teeth."
I nearly got whiplash at the sudden change in mood. My body was hot and thrumming, and my knees felt weak when I stood. Lex had already wandered into the bathroom, and I heard the sound of running water.
"My toothbrush is in my bathroom." I called. "I'll go brush my teeth in there, okay?" There was no response, so I left, checking over my shoulder out of pure reflex.
Once I was on my own, I collapsed to my knees on the tile of my bathroom floor. I wasn't sure why, but I felt nauseated and ill. There was a flash of movement behind my eyes-a suited leg, a low, cajoling voice, the sound of a door locking-and then nothing. I couldn't remember anything.
I pulled myself to standing, studying my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were blown wide, and my mouth was swollen. Bruises dotted my throat, and there was a deep purple mark in my left wrist. I wet a washcloth, and dabbed at them, sighing in relief as the cool water soothed the abused skin.
I peeled off my socks, discarding them on the bathroom floor. I was too hot for them now-even my neck and chest were flushed.
I took a second after brushing my teeth to take a deep breath and steady myself. Again, movement flashed behind my eyes. A large hand, someone crying, shiny black shoes kicked off under a desk.
I clenched my fists, and made my way back to Lex's room. On the way, I passed one of whom I assumed to be the cleaning staff. She was holding a rag and a bottle of cleaning solution. She took one look at me, taking in my messed hair, the marks on my neck and the fact I was only in what was clearly a men's shirt, and shook her head.
"Do you need me to call someone?" She said hurriedly. "Quickly, before he comes looking. Is someone looking for you? Do you need the police? How old are you?'
I stared at her for a moment, stunned, and then I shook my head.
"No, no, thank you. I live here. I'm Ruth."
The lady's eyes welled with tears, and she reached out to take my hand.
"I'm sorry, dear. There's nothing I can do. And so young, too."
She squeezed my hand, and hurried away. I stood for a moment, wondering what exactly she had meant, before clearing my head. She probably thought I was a high-end escort, or something. The idea of Lex with an escort turned my stomach, so I made my way back to his room. The light was out, the room lit only by a lamp. I crawled into the big bed, pulling the cover under my chin. After a moment, a hand flicked out the light, and a breath came from my right. I rolled over, and Lex tugged me to him, wrapping his arm around me, so my head was resting on his chest. I was secured into place, and I felt him sigh, his fingers running up and down my back.
"Sleep well, Ruth." He said into my hair. "Sleep well."
***
I awoke awash in sweat. It felt like I was sleeping directly on a hot water bottle, or under a heated light. I tried to sit up, but I was trapped under a weight.
The night before came rushing back to me. I was in Lex's bed, sleeping on his chest. I sat up with a cry, my breathing running fast.
Lex stirred next to me, wiping his eyes. He looked comically soft, like a puppy, but I didn't sit and watch him. Instead, I flung myself out of the bed, and began clawing at my arms. The bruise on the inside of my wrist stopped me for a split second, but I began to scratch at that, too.
"Woah, Ruth." Lex was next to me, grabbing ahold of my hand, but I wrenched free.
"What did you do to me?" I wailed. "What happened?"
He tried to reach for me again, but I batted him away, my nails drawing blood from my own skin. Lex lunged and grabbed the back of my neck, shaking it slightly, the way a mother dog would to a pup.
"Enough." His voice was hard, startling me into silence. "What is wrong with you?"
"He was here!" I cried. "Look!" I showed him my now-bleeding arm. Lex took it in his free hand, and sighed.
"No one was here, Ruth. I did that."
"I know-no I don't know." I whimpered. "Did we...did you?"
Lex wrapped an arm around my waist, and pulled my back to his chest. I relaxed fractionally at the feel of his heart.
"No, darling. Why don't you remember?"
I shuddered. The suited leg. The shiny shoes. The locked door. With a herculean effort, I shoved them to the back of my mind, allowing the soft memories of Lex's hands and lips fill me. It was only him, I reminded myself.
"I remember. I remember. I'm alright." I said. Lex laid his head on top of mine.
"I won't let you go until you promise you're calmed down." He warned.
"I promise." I said, and he released me. Blood from a deep scratch filled my hand, and I looked at it. Lex sighed, and closed his eyes.
"You get more complicated every day." He said. "You go wash up and I'll tell the staff to make breakfast. And Ruth?" I looked up at him. "I love you, darling."
He kissed my forehead, and left the room.
The tap quickly flushed away the blood on my arm, and I traced the uneven circle of broken blood vessels on my wrist. I recalled the warmth of his mouth against my skin, how he had marked me, and a fresh wave of heat spidered down my spine.
Without bothering to change, I pulled the blue cardigan over my arms and wandered downstairs. I could smell pancakes before I even made it to the main floor. The sound of the tv came from the kitchen, and I headed towards it.
Lex was waiting for me at the large island in the middle of the kitchen. The tv was set to a soap opera, the voices low and indistinct. Two ladies, neither of them the ones that had stopped me the night before, bustled in the corner of the room.
"You look better." Lex said, helping me onto a stool. "Much better. What happened? Was it another nightmare?"
"No." I said, plainly. "I'm not sure what happened. But you should know that I-" I cast a look at the ladies at the other end of the room. "I don't regret it. Not even a bit."
Lex smiled at me, and ran a hand over the marks on my neck.
"Mm. I don't regret it either. And I'm glad you don't, because I have something for you." He stepped away, and reached into the pocket of his jacket, withdrawing a thin silver package. It rattled slightly, and he placed it on the table in front of me.
It was a round blister packet, filled with powdery white and pink pills. I gaped at it uncomprehendingly, the implications of it not lost on me.
"Is that what I think it is?" I asked, my voice wavering a bit.
Lex shrugged, and put his hands in his pockets.
"It's a precaution, darling." he said lightly, his eyes flickering to the cooks, who were now openly staring at us. I swung my hair over my shoulder to hide my neck from them, but Lex pulled it back, his eyes not leaving mine. "Let them see." His voice was pitching up now, and I knew I had upset him.
"How long have you had those for?" I demanded. "Did you just assume....?"
Lex pushed the package towards me, leaning in.
"I've had them since we first kissed. And no, I didn't assume. I'm a genius. I knew."
"So you knew." I said, and stood. "What else do you know about me? How much research have you done, Lex?"
He took my wrist, and pushed me back into the chair I had vacated. The ladies had silently left, and I was all alone. Lex wasn't angry, but his jaw was tight, and his grip was unrelenting.
"I know you weren't meant to be in the city that day. I know you get nightmares about a man. I know you've been missing this necklace." He drew a necklace from his pocket, and placed it on the table next to the pills. "But I don't know why you went to the city. I don't know who this man is. And I don't know why you wear a crucifix, when we all know the big man in the sky will do nothing to help us."
I stared down at the silver cross. I had assumed it lost forever, hadn't mentioned it. The purple gem in the middle winked at me, and I reached for it. Lex slammed his hand down on it, stopping me short.
"It....it's my mother's." I said softly. "She bought it for me in Italy, when she and my father went on a trip. And I can't tell you, Lex, I really can't."
"Can't? Or won't?" He pushed both items towards me, and I slid the necklace over my head. The familiar weight of it settled on my sternum.
"Both." I said. "Please don't be angry. I love you. And I will take the pills. Just in case." I said sternly. "I'm not agreeing to anything."
Lex smiled, and kissed me, looping the chain of the crucifix over one finger. He played with it, the cool metal brushing my chest.
"I've asked the staff to move your things to my room" He breathed. "You didn't wake up once last night."
"We've crossed the line, then." I whispered back.
"Ruth, my love, we are well beyond lines."
A/N: this was 9 pages in google docs. 3271 words makes it the longest chapter in cherry wine so far!
ok question time
what do you think ruth is remembering/ repressing?
why do you think she freaked out the next morning?
why did the cleaning lady stop her?
(and if ur confused the pills mentioned are birth control) (oooh drama and foreshadowing)