i had a hard time searching for an appropriate song in this chapter. i hope this one wouldn't flop and you'd get the right feels — xoxo, nick ♥
SCENE XIII — ACT III
DAY 7 : DENYING IS LYING
jeongguk was in jeon cena mode.
beads of sweat on his forehead, heart on his mouth and teeth biting his lower lip, jeongguk's eyes was fixated on the fluffy and white bunny dressed in blue shorts and blue tie.
"papa, get me the blue bunny!" jinyeon spoke cheerfully in jiho's arms as the man flashed a small smile to his son before focusing again. jeongguk's hand tightly clutched the controller and slowly but surely he pressed the red button beside it, the crawler started to move into life, lowering itself to get jeongguk's target. the man was desperate to get the rabbit plushy on the claw crane.
one – jeongguk counted as he held his breath. gaze not leaving the crawler as it rummaged through the plushies, when jeongguk thought that it was the right time, he pressed the blue button and almost immediately, the crawler grabbed the bunny. hell yeah, you can do this jeon.
two, jeongguk murmured. the man wanted to rejoice but he knew that it was still early as any moment from now, the crawler might lose grip to the plushy so he kept his small joy to himself.
three. oh dear fuck, yes! jeongguk rejoiced, bunny teeth coming into full view as he grinned ear to ear. finally, the bunny plushy was dropped on the bin. "hell yes!" jeongguk murmured, fishing the plushy and happily skipping towards his son and wife, giving the male bunny to the kid.
"i got the plushy, yeon! papa got the male bunny plushy for you, honey!" jeongguk beamed, cupping yeon's face as he pampered it with kisses before he handed the toy.
yeon giggled, "oh dear holy unicorns! i've got the pair now!" jinyeon chirped, holding the two plushies close as he thoughtfully held the male bunny together with the female one.
you see, jeongguk first got yeon a bunny plushy but it was dressed in pink clothes so he had no other choice but to get yeon another one — with blue clothing.
it was quite a work getting the bunny as all of his coins got swept away from the machine. damn you, tricky game.
"i'm so happy, papa, mama!" the child spoke with enthusiasm as he pulled the plushies and squished his face into them.
"these bunnies are like papa and mama in plushy version!" jinyeon spoke as he eyed the toys, smilingly.
"this pink one is my pretty mama and the blue one is my hero papa!" jinyeon beamed as jeongguk felt warmth enveloping his heart. "really, honey? then—" i'm his hero, jinyeon's– at that moment like a firefly flying to fire, jeongguk's eyes trailed on jiho and he swore he forgot how to breathe.
breathtaking. jeongguk's eyes became glued to the woman as jiho graced yeon her smile. so beautiful, jeongguk was put into a spell as he became sensitive to the little things with jiho.
long eyelashes, soft features, perfectly pointed nose and gentle demeanor, jeongguk was so so lost. the woman was wearing a simple jumper denim dress and no make-up however, she still looked so fashionably beautiful even if she already gave birth.
jeongguk felt like he was on cloud nine as his heart did weird somersaults. it was new, it was different and he knew that something was budding inside him — and it was dangerous. he knew that it was bad. bad? what is wrong? what even is right?
why am i feeling like this.
jiho lifted her head and the moment the two's eyes met, jeongguk completely forgot himself. eyes widening, jiho just smiled at him and he sworn that he felt it—
i am melting.
—the butterflies erupted inside his stomach and his heart, oh jeongguk's heart. he swore his heart never skipped a beat like this ever before.
*i recommend you to listen to the song :)
jeongguk didn't sign up for having his heart shaken up.
sighing for the umpteenth time, jeongguk couldn't still tame the way his heart hammered inside his chest. it was new, raw and dangerous. the things that he's feelings are scaring him and honestly, he doesn't know how to describe them anymore.
hands tightly clutching the steering wheel, he was driving for them on their way home. he was conflicted, confused and there are many other feelings bottled up inside his system—he just couldn't find the right words to describe them. eyes trailing on the passenger seat, there he saw the woman and his child cuddled up on one another as the unmissable increasing of his heartbeat accelerated even more.
what's happening with me?
i must be going insane, this 14 days are killing me, i only have seven more, just seven more and everything would go the way we want. why am i feeling these things? this is not the right time to think about this heart skipping things, i'm only confused.
i'm only guilty. i'm only conflicted, i'm done, we're done. there's no way. sure, keep telling that to yourself jeongguk.
all i've ever wanted was to cheer her up after the bastard stalker thingy, i didn't sign up for this. i didn't sign up to get my head jumbled up and get my heart acting weird. i didn't want this and yet, yet — why?
reaching home, jeongguk almost choke on himself when his eyes trailed on the duo that slept peacefully on the passenger seat. oh seriously, how much of a fool can he get?
it was warm, looking at them makes his insides warm and the feeling is killing him. jeongguk was beyond conflicted and he knew, he knew that the way his heart was acting up these past few days are getting out of hand. he was losing focus and sometimes he would find himself gazing in space as his mind drifted to the image of jiho sleeping peacefully.
"you're just guilty, you're not in love with her anymore"
lilia's voice suddenly echoed in his ears and like a kettle burning up, those words seem to wake him up in reality. "i—i love lilia, i love her and—" i'm done with jiho. done. he knew the next words that he was supposed to say but right now, he didn't know why. he didn't know why his mouth hesitated to speak and why his vision immediately became cloudy. "no, why?"
drip and drop. eyes widening and realization hitting him — he found himself shedding unconscious tears. it was always like this, whenever his thoughts would drift to jiho and lilia, there was this fine line in between that makes his heart bleed unconsciously.
what's happening with me? jeongguk was never the type to be a crybaby but, ever since the fourteen days countdown started, he'd just find himself crying when he was alone. he didn't know and couldn't pinpoint the reason why his heart felt like it was ripping into two, that whenever he sees jiho, the bubbling urge to cry is hard to contain. whenever he was home, he would just find himself wanting jiho close, he wants to feel jiho's skin against his like a walking confusion.
i'm so confused, why am i feeling like this? cupping his face, he let out small sobs as he rested on the steering wheel.
it hurts, my heart hurts. i can't breathe, i can't breathe properly and i don't know myself anymore.
i'm confused, what am i feeling anymore? i want these confusing feelings gone. what am i supposed to do? what—
warmth spreading on his skin, even before jeongguk could process anything, he found himself being pulled into an embrace as his ears was lulled with a beautiful hymn.
jiho was singing for him.
"as much as you were lonely, i really hope you meet someone who would love you more than you"
what are you doing to me? gentle and soft touch on his skin, jiho sang to him as she caressed his big back. jeongguk's shocked state was replaced with contentment the longer he let himself listen. jiho's voice was lulling him to calmness and it made his heartbeat slow down. it has been so long — so, so long since jeongguk last heard jiho sing for him and the feeling is quite euphoric. "i'm sorry that she's not me"
this is wrong, i am wrong.
"please be honest with me. you know i believe anything you say and just like you said " jiho's voice was unique and calming. it used to be his refuge whenever he was frustrated and, the woman just always knew when to use her voice to make jeongguk calm.
why are you still so nice to me? after everything i've put you through. even after all the pain, heartbreak and betrayal – why, just how come you're still thoughtful of me?
"will I ever receive love from" jeongguk was in a spell and before he knew it, he was already answering the embrace, holding jiho as if his whole life depended on it. "someone who is like me?"
"i'm sorry, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry"
at the foot of the altar, i was the one who promised forever but, i was also the one who tore that promises into pieces.