They took away my safety net and threw me to the wolves.
They made me fight in a dangerous war.
They took away my silence and gave me noise;
a noise that kills my soul with one single blow.
They told me that I am ugly and gave me books.
They told me to read away my days and so I did.
I left the outside world behind and hid behind my four walls.
They came and made me choose:
Either them or...
My pain were like songs to their ears.
Their hearts ate my heartache with a knife and fork, drenched with fear to give it some flavour.
They came and took away my sense until my fighting spirit wanted to give in.
I didn't want to suffer but I had no other life beyond that-
They whispered songs of a broken spirit.
Their song so beautiful that I danced to their tune.
I want to leave this all behind but how can I?
How can I fight on knowing that my fight has left me.
Can I tell you a dream that I had?
Let me rather leave it alone;
It left me feeling alone and confused.
But a day will come when I don't have to suffer.
A day when I shout to the heavens, thanking them for all that they have done.
So I leave 'them' to their own devices.
I am fighting silently with the forces that are with me.
Sooner or later I will rise UP!
And never again will I suffer...
Wednesday, 6 September 2017, in my room all alone with Kelly Khumalo singing in my ears. I love her music and how I am able to cry and she 'comforts' me without judging me.