The drive was long and silent. Lost in her thoughts, it didn't occur to Mahnoor that Khizar drove out of Birmingham to their private house. It was later when they were in the leafy suburbs she pressed her hand on the dashboard and looked around unable to look through the darkness.
"Where are we?"
"Earlswood."
Congested with worries, Mahnoor was confused why Khizar bought her here. The Raddison was a mere 20 minutes' drive away, what was he doing out here?
On turning the corner he pulled in a drive that was lit by small white solar lights embedded on the lawn in a path. Mahnoor recognised the two stone pillars; it was their large house. Stepping out of the car, the front porch was lit by a sensor lights. A hanging basket like a claw hung just above the front entrance, brimming with pink Petunias, a classic favourite of Mahnoor's. When Mahnoor had a plot at the allotments, she tried to grow pink Petunias but gave up straggling with plants bedraggled by disease and rainstorm. Who nurtured these baskets? Someone was living in the property.
Khizar walked on ahead and opened the front door. The light flickered on. On the floor a brown mat with the white bold letters read, 'Welcome' . A fresh smell of rose and lavender rushed through her nostrils. In the hallway, she spotted a crystal vase with fresh flowers like they were arranged early this morning. Making her way into the house, sepia portraits of Sonya and Amirah when they were little girls running barefoot on the fresh green grass decorated the hallway.
A short woman dressed in black uniform popped out of the kitchen.
"Good evening madam." She greeted with a charming smile. The middle eastern woman wore a tradtional black headscarf and she was excited to meet Mahnoor like she was waiting for her
"Welcome home. I see sir has finally bought you home." She bopped her head at Mahnoor like she was a queen.
The woman scurried past Mahnoor. Khizar thanked her leaving the couple alone. Khizar employed a maid, Mahnoor realised.
Just before the kitchen, two large canvases of the Great Barrier Reef and Fjords in Norway, teased her desires.
"My parents and Kabir are staying the night at the Raddison." Khizar interrupted her peaceful thoughts. "I didn't want to complicate matters by taking you there."
In the kitchen, the strong smell of fresh coffee filled her nostrils. Plates, cups, knives and forks were places strategically on the shelves, making the house feel lived in. The kitchen exuded warmth and happiness which Mahnoor drew strength from, soaking it up like the pink Petunias thirsty in a downpour.
"Who did all this?" Mahnoor looked through the cupboard piled high with delicate crockery.
"I hope you like it."
Mahnoor loved the taste, the light, bright colours and the fabulous array of dishes out on display. It felt like a show room, clean, crisp and tempting. She wanted to take off her shoes and press her toes on the cold tiles. It dawned on Mahnoor that whilst she was riddled with doubts about Khizar's distance, he was preparing their house.
"Our room is up the stairs, second on the left."
Taking off her shoes, her toes sunk into the thick soft beige carpet as she made her way upstairs. Towels were placed on the shelf on the landing ready to use. Inside the large bedroom, the king size bed centred the room. Gentle curves on both the top and bottom rails added to the overall elegance of the frame. The foot end was nice and low in order to help keep an air of space in the bedroom. The new style mink crocodile effect upholstery on the gorgeous bed gave the bed an unusual look and the edges were finished with matching piping. The bedroom evoked warmth and lured Mahnoor into the haven of tranquillity, however Mahnoor felt anything but tranquil.
On the left was a built in wardrobe with the slide doors slight ajar. On opening the door Mahnoor discovered a wardrobe lined with a variety of exquisite dresses. She pulled out a traditional cotton blue paisley kurtha and pressed it against her body. It fit. Another baby pink chiffon dress with delicate white lace border protected in a transparent dust jacket suited her taste.
"I wasn't sure what to buy. The shop assistant was helpful and selected these suits." Khizar leaned against the doorframe watching Mahnoor's hesitate in the room with unease.
"What is all this?" She dropped the dress on the bed. She looked at the dressing table ready with perfumes, creams and brushes.
"This is our home, Mahnoor. Remember the last time I bought you here." Mahnoor folded her arms and hugged her body. How could she forget the moment of passion they shared in this house? But now the luxury, the soft smells and salts felt wrong. How could she live here when Ayaaz was grappling with her betrayal?
"Make yourself comfortable, I'll fix us something to eat." Gently he closed the door allowing her privacy.
***
Amirah had heard the argument from downstairs, every last word. She watched Ayaaz sitting on the edge of his bed in deep thought. For the past 10 minutes, he hadn't spoken a word and instead skimmed through his mobile.
"Ayaaz, please say something." She was eager for him to start the subject so she could help him come to terms with it, but he didn't want to talk about it. Instead he distracted his mind with the aid of his mobile.
"Who are you messaging?" She grabbed the mobile and took it off him. "Kara!" She looked at the messages. Ayaaz yanked it back off her.
"Don't you start Amirah, I don't need this."
"Then talk to me. What happened?"
"Nothing!" He threw his hands up.
"I know!" She yelled back frustrated with him. "I know that my dad has married your mum." There she said it. It was on the edge of her tongue. She had to tell him, she needed to have it out with him.
"You knew?" He repeated aghast. "You knew? Since when? Why didn't you tell me?" He searched the room pacing the room for answers. He looked at her again and asked.
" Who else knows? Your mum? Your grandmother. I bet everyone knew and I was the only one in the dark. You all lied to me. Like you wanted to trap me into marriage before telling me. How long were you lot planning to hide it?"
Amirah reached out to him forcing him to sit down and listen to her but he walked out of the room and ran down the steps. He made his way into the kitchen and poured a large tumbler of water. Amirah followed him and stopped him in the lounge.
"Ayaaz, listen! I couldn't tell you. It was best coming from your mum."
"But she would never tell me." He pivoted on his backfoot. "I had to hear it from Kara on my wedding day!"
"Kara told you?" Now Amirah was flabbergasted.
"She said made my stomach turn by what she said."
"What?"
Ayaaz couldn't repeat it.
"Tell me Ayaaz, what did she say?"
"That I couldn't marry y-you were my sister." He stuttered.
"She rang today?" Amirah connected the pieces of Kara's treachery.
"Do you know I was going to walk out? I was going to turn my back on everything and never come back. I feel betrayed by my own."
"You would walk out on me? Our baby? So, you believed her?" She raked her fingers through her hair and pulled it back in disbelief.
"I dunno." He rubbed his chin and sat down.
Amirah leaned against the wall stunned with Kara. Her so called best friend. After telling her dad she was pregnant, Kara tried to jeopardise her marriage by feeding Ayaaz lies. It wasn't Kara that disappointed Amirah, it was Ayaaz. How could he believe her and walk out on her?
"You did believe Kara or else you wouldn't have thought about it." She realised. "Kara is a snake. How can you be so naïve?" Her voice trembled.
"Would your mum or my dad let us marry if we were brother and sister?" Her tone harsh, Amirah's pulse raced with anger. "How can we be brother and sister? We have different sets of parents. Didn't you know that?" Amirah's anger increased by Ayaaz's stupidity.
"Half brother and sister." He added.
"But our parents are different!" She cried out. "We're not even cousins! Ayaaz, Kara tried to destroy my life before but she failed. Today, she has won!" Amirah sunk into the sofa and this time Ayaaz stood up looking at her deflated demeanour. She arrested his attention.
"Do you know Kara was there; she made me do the pregnancy test? Then she went behind my back and told dad I was pregnant! My mum was going to send me to Pakistan. If Kara kept her trap shut, I would have dealt with it myself." Amirah cried out. "She stabbed me in my back, Ayaaz! I went through hell because of her whilst you were in Spain lying on the beach!"
Ayaaz's froze in shock. He could see that Amirah was beside herself with anger.
"When did you want me to tell you about our parents' marriage? When I was puking my guts in the toilet? Or preparing to give our baby away? You turned your back on me!" She pushed him away. "You didn't care about me. You were so wrapped in your own self! Have you ever wondered why your mum didn't tell you? Have you ever wondered why she hid the most important day of her life from her only child? She's terrified of you, Ayaaz! I saw it in her eyes. Just like she was terrified of your dad, she fears you." Amirah shook with rage.
Ayaaz shook his head, clearly in denial.
"Ask her! No, actually, don't ask her, just look at her. She is worried she'll lose you. She would risk her happiness for you. But you-! Hah!" She mocked.
"Doesn't your mum deserve some happiness after the shit your dad put her through? I thought you were mature, you'd changed. But you're still immature and self-obsessed. If you think Kara wants what's best for you, then you're wrong. She phoned you to spread her poison and it's done its job. She told dad about my pregnancy to be close to dad. Now she told you, to destroy dad's happiness. Congratulations, Kara has won!" Amirah marched her way back upstairs and slammed her bedroom door shut. Ayaaz chased her and pressed the handle but she blocked the door.
"Amirah please, Listen. Open the door." He spoke into the wooden door. "I'm sorry. I was vexed when Kara told me before the nikah." He pushed his shoulder against the door.
"You walked off, Ayaaz." She yelled from behind the door. "I saw you through the window. You were ready to turn your back on me and the baby."
"No!" He yelled pressing his hands on the door. "I was confused." He lied. "I wanted to, but it was you who stopped me. I love you, and I wanted you and couldn't let anything stop that so I asked the Imam. He assured me it was okay and I was so relieved. I know it's common sense for you, but I'm not clever as you. I don't know these religious things. My love for you and our family held me back. I didn't want to lose you. I feared losing you." His tone panicked.
"That's exactly why your mum didn't tell you, she feared losing you." Ayaaz leaned his back against the door and sat on the floor. Everything fell into place around him. He hung his head forward between his knees with a throbbing pain in his chest. Today was the most important day of his life, and tonight was his wedding night. But he sat outside his bedroom door locked out. He didn't know what to do. Lost and confused.
"I thought it was just going to be me and mum." Ayaaz raked over his past trying to figure out where it all went wrong."
"I promised mum I'd look after her, take care of her. But she went back to dad, time after time. But the last time he tried to kill her. After that I knew that it was my job to protect her. I couldn't let anyone come between us, never. I don't trust men, not with my mother. She's deeply scarred. She seems strong on the outside, to the world she's confident, but I know at night she thinks of those terrible things he did to her. I hear her crying. I can't let anyone come close to her. They'll hurt her, I can't risk that again because I'll kill them, whoever it is, I will kill him." Ayaaz surprised himself with the confession.
Amirah sulked, almost afraid of what would happen if she forgave him. She listened to Ayaaz's confession with a heavy heart. It made sense why he was deeply offended by any man who dared to propose to his mother. He feared that they would hurt her like his father. If Basharat could do it, any man could. That's why he was so angry, wound up with rage read to murder any man who dared to flirt with the idea of marrying his mother. His violent childhood shaped his thoughts and future and that's why he was viciously protective of his mother.
Slowly, Amirah opened her bedroom door. She sat beside Ayaaz who faced his mother's bedroom door. Ayaaz lay his heavy head in her lap and shut his eyes. Gently, Amirah stroked her fingers through his hair. Ayaaz was tired. The hate, the anger emotionally drained him.
"I'm sorry." Tears ran down his temples.
Amirah leaned over and kissed his head. "I'm sorry too, Ayaaz. I didn't know what to do."
"I'm glad you're here with me. At last."
Amirah smiled and whispered, 'at long last.'