Chapter dedication goes to my gal Ashira_Carson1992 💕 Thanks babe for following the story so patiently, you rock!
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Ash's POV
There was all the thoughts and logic in my mind until that night.. Until that all disappeared the very second I touched her skin, kissed her lips, and watched her give herself completely to me.
There is nothing stronger than the power of attraction, lust and craving for something that you cannot have.. It's human's nature to firstly miss what was under your nose the entire time, and then we tend to chase it, long for it, till the very point of either a fulfillment or disappointment.
I didn't trust feelings.. Not after Jane. I first lost her as a lover.. Then I lost her forever. I was not myself after that. Perhaps there is truly a switch people tend to use whenever we are in too much pain.. They say, time heals. It's not the time that heals a broken soul, it's the very person that carries those broken pieces. We just change, puzzle the pieces, but ever become whole again.. Or that was at least what I believed in.
Till I met her.. Anastasia Nelson. The girl that turned my world upside down without even trying, swirled my mind in the most bizarre ways through a feisty attitude I thought I would give up dealing with, yet she managed to so effortlessly bring out my very spirit without even trying.
The thing with her.. It was the beauty that attracted, but the daring words that swirled you under her spell. She was a challenge. A true challenge. Even if you didn't want to, she knew how to make you talk, provoke you, anger you.. But there was no way for me to miss the wildness in those ocean blue eyes, mixing with that dark emerald that left me speechless from the very beginning.
I knew her for only two months, but from the first night I met her at the club, I was challenged.. Firstly by her looks, then by her attitude, and finally by the fact that I had to push back every urge inside me, every thought in my head to provide myself from taking what I wanted..
It was true miracle how fate brought her to me only a week after meeting her in the club, only a week of torture to forget the girl with the wild eyes.. To clear my thoughts from the picture of her in that room with me, whispering her name, and daring me beyond belief. Anastasia.
I thought having her as an assistant would drive me insane, and in full honesty, it did. Not only because she objected every second word of mine. But because she was pulling every desire out of me by her very presence.
It was in her nature to grab attention wherever she went, men or women, everyone looked.. Perhaps it was her confident posture, or her arrogant attitude. But she had everyone turning to see who the girl with the dark hair was..
There was not a single moment that was easy while having her near me.. With a confident posture, she marched in my office every morning and read my schedule.. I didn't listen even a part of it. That angelic voice, words after words were said to me, an insult or two about my grumpiness, or my 'control-freak-problems'.. Then a laugh to her own jokes.. I listened to it, and the thing was, I loved it. I loved watching that repeat every morning, and I was starting to live for those moments with her.. It was when I knew it was getting out of hand.
The moments where I would simply shut off and stare at her were the reason why she had to read my schedule a few times a day.. I mean, how could I not look? She shone. In every way possible, taking every little bit of attention wherever she went. A porcelain doll face, sculpted to perfection.. No need for her to flatter those dark lashes at me as for it were the eyes that I knew would be my destruction, the devilish smile on those wine red lips..
Whenever I made her re-read my schedule for the day, she would pout those pretty lips, wrinkle her tiny nose, but do it anyways, with a sigh that was supposed to make me feel bad, but all it made me think was how her chest rose and how long it would take me till I would rip the clothes she was wearing and kiss every square inch of her body..
She had a mouthwatering hourglass figure that did things to me, messed with my head whenever she was around.. The long locks of that midnight dark hair that shone with this cold brown whenever the sun hit her, the fair olive skin and those wide daring eyes that searched mine with intensity I could not follow, holding back so many little secrets.. It made me wish she was mine.
It was becoming torture to have to push back all the urges, avoid all the tension that we both felt.. My lack of resistance started the night when there was a blockade on the road. I kissed her. It was the least I could do.. Something that was beyond my control. To just have her. And then it grew and grew with every little second that passed.
How long it would take till I snap and take what I wanted? - I asked myself.. It wasn't long. No, how could it be when it came to Anya? She was damn irresistible.. From a daring attitude to a sassy walk, she had it all.. She made me forget every damn thing, every little memory I was suffering from for over two years, and simply made me focus on nothing but her.. To obsess over her, to want her, crave her, and have her.
That night.. Christ, that night I could not push it all back.. Not anymore. Perhaps I was urged by her words.. By the fact that she said it would be best for us to stay apart.. By the fact that I somehow agreed.. But watching her walk away from the car, it just made me feel like I was once again giving up something without a fight.. Repeating the same mistake all over again.
But this was Anya.. I couldn't lose that. How did she expect me to bear with the thought of her being my forbidden fruit when I could barely bear my urges around her? When she went inside and closed the door.. I sat in the car for what seemed like eternity. I thought I had lost her. Not because we had a fight.. Surprisingly that day we didn't.
But because it was a crossing moment, the breaking point of my cravings intoxicating my mind, cutting all stings and limits that held me back and simply going after what I was supposed to call mine.. For a while now.
It felt like eternity to wait for her to open the door, but once she did, I looked at her, standing there in that white summer dress, a wild dark hair that had waves and curls through it, long and unkempt from how many times she had ran her hands through it. Those wide eyes searched mine in a way of trying to find an end to her thoughts through my own.. I let her read me. I let her know what I truly wanted, and my eyes gave it all away..
Her lips seemed as red as wild strawberries, parted with the deep breaths she took in, and daring me to taste them.. To kiss her breathless, senseless.. My hands itched to touch her, and all it took me was to take a small step towards her for that space between our bodies to be closed with her moving towards me as well.. I let myself get lost in her.
And that was the night when my tale with Anastasia Nelson began. It really wrote itself as for the two of us only followed our desires and cravings.. That night we crossed off each and every rule we had in our rule book, and saved ourselves from the suffering that 'staying apart' promised.
Her lips were my salvation that night, the oxygen I needed to survive. I couldn't get enough of her. It was as if I could finally have that healthy drug that drove me insane, and I let myself get lost in her.
The way she got on top of me, allowing me to see every inch of that body, every flush on her face.. How her eyes closed, her lips parted and her head fell back when that pleasure struck. How she held onto me in the need for control, yet let me guide her throughout every second.. Or the way that she flipped her hair to the side just to lean down over me.. Just to leave a kiss that was definitely a ticket for me to lose my mind over her completely.
There was sex and there was passion.. And she was all passion.. All of my wildest cravings led back to her, because she was the very drug I needed to satisfy my desires. Every little memory from that night, every little picture of her carved in my brain perfectly, and there was nothing in this world that I was letting take her away from me. It was too good, too perfect, too epic for me to let go.
I had her laying beside me after that, her dark hair spread behind her over the pillow as she was turned towards me.. She had the sheet wrapped around her, observing me get lost in her, slowly blinking as I caressed her hair over and over again. I glided my fingers over the side of her face just as an excuse to touch her..
She was looking down, somewhat completely lost in her own thoughts. "Ash?" The rasp in her voice, the quiet tone gave away that she only spoke mechanically.
"Yea?"
"We can't tell about this, you know," Well, she had that right.. Anya had her own reasons, I had mine.. Of course starting with the fact that she was my assistant, and the others in the company shouldn't know that our relationship was more than professional in any way possible.
"We can. We just shouldn't." I watched how her eyes searched my face for a second, but I could tell that she was still focusing on her own thoughts.
"Mhm." The breath she released seemed like something was still bothering her, making me only caress her cheek, quietly marveling at the softness of her skin. "I'm known for being one of the Nelsons, bad habits, bad reputation.. While you're the golden boy of this town."
It took me a second to register her words. Firstly most of the people didn't know who her father was, and from those who did, part of them didn't even care.. Besides, it was truly hilarious that she thought of me as the 'golden boy of the town'.
I couldn't help the dry laugh that escaped me as I turned on my back. "You really just said that?" I glanced at her as she still laid in that same position, reading my eyes with those wide blue ones, keeping quiet for a few seconds.
It was just unbelievable how someone's spite and hate could make a person feel so down.. I understood her. Whoever it was that put a blockade on the road that night, showed that they wanted her out of town.. I understood her concern. But she was working for me, and she meant a lot more to me than just an assistant, I knew I wouldn't let anything happen to her.
"You are." The faintness in her voice, raspiness and tiredness that was noticeable made me smile again as I looked at her. She was really serious, wasn't she?
A few seconds passed.. I stared at the ceiling trying to decide whether or not I could make her feel any better by my own story.. She didn't know my past fully.. Sure she must've heard stuff, but I definitely knew more of her than she knew of me..
So I went straight to the story. "I refused to take over my father's company for three years. It didn't exactly made people love me. My father is who they respect." Silence fell over for a few seconds.. I didn't look at her, but I knew she was following every expression on my face from the side. Her breaths were slow and steady.. Her voice so angelically filling the empty silence.
"What made you change your mind?"
I looked at her, always taken back by how insanely beautiful she looked, how damn focused she seemed on me, and it filled my soul in the most amazing way possible.
"I was looking for a new start.. I thought I could be missing out a chance.." I spoke slowly, perhaps speaking about my past in a way, but thinking of her.. I almost missed out my chance with her as well.. I still laid on my back, but couldn't help myself from looking at her, from brushing my hand over hers that was between the two of us. "What was right under my nose.."
She didn't seem to mind my moves.. She stared back at me with the same intensity. "What did you want to do?" I looked away, trying to remember when it was the last time I discussed this with someone.. It had been a long while.. And Anya seemed so interested, it seemed unbelievable for me to see someone curious about my past so intently.. Other than the media that wanted interviews with me.
"I spend four years in medical school.. I suppose that." I answered quickly after her question, going through those times in my head.. It was truly mind-blowing how your plans in life could so easily get fucked up.. It then became hard to keep up and we tend to give up.
"Four years? Why didn't you finish it?"
"Things changed.. My father started pushing me on one side.. Rest of my life on the other. I gave up."
"How come you never said anything?" I looked at her..
I never liked discussing the past, especially after I met her.. She was the sudden brightness in my path, I hated taming that light spirit she had with my darkness.. I wanted to keep my demons to myself as for she was too pure for that to bring her down..
"I like to keep my past separated." Was all I said.. For the next few seconds, I watched how her eyes followed mine, how she searched my face in a way of reading me..
She reached her hand and ran her fingers over my shoulder, trying to make out a smile of understanding, but quickly failed to since her own thoughts had her preoccupied.. And I soon heard why..
"Is it going to be hard? To hide this?" And that question.. God, could it only be a wonder? How could either of us know how to do it? How to hide it..
"Yes." I answered somewhat unsurely, seeing how she looked at me for a moment, almost like I had proved her right. "I know I'll hate it. Especially now that we're going to Paris." I heard her sigh, turning on her back and staring at the ceiling the same way I was.
"It won't be that hard.. I mean, you did introduce me as your fiancée." Oh. Right, a reminder. And after the talk we had in the cabin.. It seemed like she wasn't exactly okay with that whole idea.
"You said you wanted me to clear things up, Anya, remember?" I glanced at her, even though she kept her eyes somewhere above us, seemingly still sorting out her thoughts.. I could feel her hand right beside mine.. How she wiggled her fingers, brushing mine, I thought she would move her hand away.. Instead, all she did was intertwine her fingers with mine very slightly, like she was still too faint to take a tighter hold.
"Don't." Again, that rasp in her voice had me hypnotized, her tone faint and misleading as if she still had other things on her mind too.. "I mean, I freaked out, I know, but I can handle this.. A fake engagement doesn't change much.. Only Stefan and Sally will know."
"Sophie." I corrected.
"Yea, her." The slight laugh that escaped her fulfilled me in the weirdest way possible. I could hear her talk and laugh all night long. "And if hiding is the only way then that's what we'll do." She looked at me.. I stared back. Again, it seemed as if both of us were losing ourselves in each other.. It was this unbelievable thing where we went silent and simply read each other for a few seconds..
She snapped out of it and turned to my side, scooting closer. I turned on the side too, just to take in a better picture of her. She let go of my hand, but with the way I pressed it on the side of the pillow, she seemed quick to run her fingers over my knuckles so slowly, focusing on her own moves.. Lost in her own thoughts.. I watched how those lashes flattered slowly as she blinked, staring down at how she gently caressed my hand with her fingers.
"I just.. I just hate the thought of something bad happening.. I don't want to ruin what I got here in Richwood." Those wide blue eyes seemed like the ocean at night.. Filled with some curiosity, making her pupils seem even wider in the dark.. They searched mine with this desperation for understanding. "It's the new life I was seeking for." And I understood perfectly. I just wanted to hear her say it.. See if she was thinking the same thing as me.
"What can possibly happen?"
"An argument. Disagreement." Her voice trailed as she spoke, breaking the silence in the most delicate way possible. "It's all fun and pleasure until feelings kick in." It was true.. Exactly what I thought she would say. Exactly what I would say..
If we went into something serious, something that was more than just laughs and sex, it was going to come to an end one way or another.. And if it ended, things would start getting complicated.. We worked together.. If we actually started dating, we both knew it would eventually end, and then there would be no working environment. There would be feelings to sort out, unfinished arguments, and when did anything ever go right while working with your ex?
I hated that we both thought the same thing, and that we were both right, but it was just the reality. Friends that had fun.. And sex.. And a few other benefits on not spending the nights being lonely was what we needed.
"Is that all it should be?" I asked, to make sure. Only fun and pleasure? Only sex? It was truly the easiest that way..
She bit down on her lip and glanced back at me, pushing herself on her elbows.. I searched her face and she searched mine. "I don't know.. Should it?" One of us had to decide.. And we seemed both to agree.
I puffed a slight breath as I turned over on my back again, knowing that I already had my control slipping away from me from just looking at her. "Anya, you know I barely have any resistance when it comes to you.."
I would've said yes to anything really.. If she wanted a relationship, I would've tried at least.. I would've tried to give her that. But it was easier when there were no feelings attached. We both knew that. And I was glad she knew that was the right choice.
I looked at her.. Her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Then no feelings?" It was so bizarre hearing her say that.. Thinking it myself.. When we both knew that a person could never have such control over feelings.. It was something similar to lust.. Perhaps even stronger. We were planning it like it was something we could just throw away.. All that was left was for us to hope that there wouldn't be no feelings.
But I knew I was ready to try this game. "No feelings." I confirmed. She leaned closer to me, holding herself on her elbows and pressing her arm over my shoulder as she leaned her chin over it.
"Just sex." And we had ourselves a deal.
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Anya's POV
It was truly a new stage.. A new stage in my life where I had spent the night with someone that I actually cared about, and then I couldn't get it out of my head.. It was a tingly feeling in my chest, just thinking about him. It was nice. New definitely.
I fell asleep like I fell in a coma after we made our little deal, after he kissed me again just to swirl my mind even more.. He told me to go straight to the office in the morning and that he would have his breakfast there.. I almost slept in that morning though..
When I woke up, he wasn't beside me, and it was that moment when I realized why he told me to go straight to the company.. He thought of everything. Kristin couldn't know that we were together, so he left early in the morning.. So we were really doing it. It was really starting.
I got to the company with Kristin, saw Ash there again, unfortunately with Josh in his office, so I had to act along and read his schedule like I usually would, and not ask him inappropriate questions on what he was planning on doing during his break.
Anyways, once that was over, Mr. Simon spent almost the whole morning in the office with Ash, discussing things about Paris, which was by the way, another thing that I had on my mind. Josh was going in Paris with us.. So was Ash's brother for some reason.. Ethan. He wasn't exactly our biggest supported. And I was starting to get worried about the whole engagement thing.
The smartest thing to do was to tell Josh and Ethan that we were lying about the engagement, and act like we would never be anything more than friends really, that we despised each other and that we couldn't stand each other.. They would believe that Ash was only doing that to impress Stefan and the other important people, to show that he had his life under control and that he was committing..
To some, getting married was a strangely important thing. It made some people think that he was a serious man.. And from what Ash and I discussed before falling asleep, it seemed like that was the best choice.. Going along with the fake engagement and letting Ethan and Josh know that it was just a fake commitment that Ash was willing to do for a better reputation about himself.
They already thought that we barely could stand each other, which was actually not far from the truth, but we were past that and we had a little secret that we had to keep to ourselves.
I watched Josh walk out of Ash's office, smiling at me as he approached my desk. I immediately knew that Ash's must've told him about the fake engagement.
"Ash just told me about the show you two preformed in front of Marino that night." All I could do was preform a nervous smile. "I must say, it's a prefect way to start a discussion that's not professional. We always wanted our partners from Europe to be in a friendly atmosphere."
I tapped my fingers over the desk slightly as I stood up. "Yea, well- Ash thought it was the right thing to do to break the ice. The least I can do is play along.."
"Trust me, there's nothing more interesting to some business man than discussing the personal lives of their business partners.. We have had a contract with many companies in Europe, but just like you said, a subject such an engagement really breaks the ice." He leaned closer to the desk. "Just a warning, women will be eager to know how you seduced the grumpy Ash Bonner.." The little whisper he preformed showed that Josh as always was a goof.
He was one of Ash's oldest friends. He seemed very excited and ready to lie along with us. He really thought that Ash and I couldn't stand each other, and was now thinking that we were both taking one for the team. When the truth was, Ash was too jealous to even want to deal with Stefan that night so he got us all into this mess.
I couldn't help the slight laugh that escaped me. "It's not like I really did.. I don't think Ash can still stand me very much, and to be honest, you already know how I feel about his control freak side.." Yea, out of all people Josh knew that I wasn't exactly a fan of Ash.. I didn't used to be at least.. But he thought that I still couldn't stand him, and I just made it more believable.
"I'm sorry, I know he really gets on your nerves.. Now you have to play his fiance." He laughed, assuming the misery I was in. It was already really complicated, and Ash and I did the right thing hiding our 'friends-with-benefits' relationship.. "But for this fake engagement, he'll have to be nice in front of people." The wink he preformed caused me to fake smile again. "Don't worry, this will stay between only the three of us and Ethan. The rest of the employees don't need to know about these little lies."
"I agree."
There it was.. The complicated situation I was in.. Ethan and Josh thought that Ash and I were taking one for the team, lying about the engagement to impress a bunch of French and Italian partners that they had.. Which we did.. The engagement was definitely fake. But we still kept the fact that Ash actually left my place at four in the morning because we were sexing things up and hiding it from everyone.. Quite the 'fake-real-sex-love' relationship I had going on, huh?
"What happens in Paris will stay in Paris." He winked and with that left the office.
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I watched Kristin bury her face in the green salad, still sticking to her diet as we sat across each other in the restaurant that was only across the street from the company.. Lunch break was what I really needed. Kristin still refused to get some real food, she was determent to stay on her diet.. Well at least during the day.. I knew she spent the nights in the fridge cause she could never resist the sweets.
I took a bite from my little fry, smiling at how quickly she was about to finish the salad she ordered, drinking it down with water. She stopped for a second, pressing her arms on a table.
"Okay, question: Why did you sleep in the guest room last night?" I stopped, almost choking on the coke that I had just sipped from. It almost came out from my nose. How did she- No, she wasn't in the house when it all happened. She was on a date and I assume it went pretty well since she spent the night at his place.. She must've seen me there in the morning.
"What, I didn't-" She rose her index finger to stop me from continuing.
"And answer: You spent the night with some dude." And there it is.. Kristin was the first one to have us figured out.. Knowing her, soon the whole town was about to find out. She liked bragging when it came to her friends, and I knew that was the first thing she would do..
What I needed was a good lie. A quick lie. And I hated that I was building my life in Richwood with lies over lies over lies.. But Ash and I both made a deal. And it was out little secret to keep.
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To be continued..
What do you guys think, does Kristin really know who Anya spent the night with? I hope Anya has a pretty good lie if she wanted to keep the secret her and Ash have..
But yep, soon are the Paris chapters, which I hope you guys will like, cause I'm sensing a lot of Ashia moments with the whole fake engagement show that they're about to pull off..
Comment and vote for being featured in a chapter dedication, and let me know if you guys like gifs on top of the chapters.. I know I do 😍
See ya soon babes! Kisses, 😘