Author's Note
Hey guys! This is my first fan fic, so I apologise if it's a bit slow/dull. Anyway, this is SebastianXMoriarty, and is set slightly prior to the BBC Sherlock canon: the events in the fic lead up to the tv show.
Later on in the story, there is a lullaby sang. I take no credit for writing it! Although I may have changed some words, all credit goes to (http://www.lullaby-link.com/child-of-moonlight.html) where I got the lullaby from.
Although Sebastian Moran is not mentioned in the tv show, he is in the Conan Doyle works, and is described by Holmes as The Second Most Dangerous Man in Britain. Many imagine him to look a lot like Fassbender, although in this fic he is closer in appearance to Matt Bomer.
It'll probably have a few triggers in it, so just be warned! Anyway, enjoy!
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Sebastian Moran had been, and always would be, the one who mattered. To James Moriarty, he was a drug, an antidepressant, his sunshine on a rainy day.
On the day that they'd met, Jim had thought nothing of the tall, slender blonde, aside from the obvious fact that he was incredibly handsome and intelligent, in his own right. He didn't have the cold logic and reasoning of Sherlock Holmes or Jim Moriarty, no. But he had more intelligence than most, and the mental and emotional stability that Holmes and Moriarty lacked. Furthermore, he was an excellent strategist. He'd noted the dog tags that hung around his neck and, later, confirmed they belonged to Sebastian.
Within a few weeks, Sebastian had moved into Jim's large London flat, somewhat reluctantly. He was a professional man, and assumed that moving in with Jim would be 'unprofessional'. However, after some gentle persuasion consisting of a considerable increase in Sebastian's paycheck, he seemed to become more comfortable with the arrangement.
~
"Sebby!" Jim called in a sing-song voice, bursting into the kitchen, with a cupcake in his hand, a grin plastered across his face. Sebastian's emerald eyes flicked up from his newspaper, frowning at the eccentric madman with a bemused look on his handsome features. "It's our six month anniversary Sebby!" Jim grinned and gave him the cupcake.
"What?" Sebastian frowned, though he couldn't help but chuckle at Jim. He was mental, this man. But it was somewhat refreshing, a contrast to the harsh, stern faces he'd been stuck with in Afghanistan.
Jim giggled, "It's been six months since you moved in, silly! I even got you a personalized cupcake!" He clapped his hands excitedly. The cupcake was orange with black stripes, with bits of icing cut to look like the facial features of a tiger.
To his credit, Sebastian managed not to blanch at the sight of the cake. He wasn't exactly anorexic, but couldn't stand high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie food. It made him sick. Even the smell of the cake made him feel queasy. But he couldn't say that to Jim: he'd gone through all that trouble to make Sebastian happy. To turn it down would just be wrong. So he smiled, "Thank you, Jim. I didn't know we were celebrating this though..." He murmured, guilty for not buying Jim anything.
At this, Jim hugged him tightly, "By just being here you've made it all better, Sebby! Look," He rolled up his sleeves. No fresh cuts. Just old scars. "Six months clean, thanks to my Tiger." He sat in a chair next to Sebastian, watching him eat the cupcake, smiling. Sebastian ate about half, then gave the other half to Jim, who happily ate it. He was glad to see Sebastian at least attempt to eat the cupcake.
Another few months passed, uneventfully. Jim would often wake to Sebastian making breakfast while listening to the Bee Gees, in particular, Stayin' Alive. Jim would laugh and dance around the kitchen while Sebastian cooked a full English breakfast for them both. Sometimes he'd forget his stiff upper lip and dance with Jim, laughing along with him, singing softly.
"Your voice is beautiful, Tiger," Jim murmured one morning whilst sat at the table, wolfing down his breakfast. Sebastian had denied this comment many times for the past ten months, and today just gave a grunt, chewing a mouthful of toast. "It is!" Jim laughed, poking Sebastian, who poked him straight back, blowing a raspberry at him. "Oh, Tiger, don't forget our one year anniversary!" Jim giggled. They weren't together, despite Jim's frequent hints, innuendos, and not-so-subtle clues ("Jim, was than an innuendo?" "In-your-endo") showing his obvious interest in Sebastian. But that wouldn't stop him having some fun with Sebastian, like he had done on their six month 'anniversary'. He'd already decided what he was getting Sebastian.
The months fell away and, despite himself, Sebastian was rather looking forward to their anniversary thing. He'd bought Jim a navy Vivienne Westwood suit with skull-and-crossbone lining, plus a matching tie. On the morning of the anniversary he made breakfast as usual, singing along to the Bee Gees. And, as usual, Jim walked downstairs in his grey pjs at around 7:30am, his dark hair tousled. Sebastian, as ever, wore just shorts: he'd never understood pajamas. How did you not overheat?
"Good morning Tiger!" Jim giggled and hugged the taller man tightly, which didn't make him flinch as it used to, making Jim smile. "Are you ready for your gift?" He grinned.
"Of course. Are you ready for yours?" Sebastian asked, turning down the radio and handing Jim a plate of food, which was gone in minutes. Sebastian had opted for just some toast this morning. "We agreed practical clothing, yes?" He asked.
Jim nodded, "Something unique and interesting!" He giggled, wiping butter from the corner of Sebastian's mouth. He then picked up a white box, with Sebastian scrawled on the front. In return, Sebastian handed Jim a box with James written in his ridiculously perfect Victorian cursive handwriting. "Let's go and get changed!" Jim grinned, like a child at Christmas. He bounded upstairs and shut himself in his room.
Oh my God... The suit... It was so beautiful. As he pulled it on, he couldn't believe how well it fit, how amazing and powerful it made him look. Not the scrawny weakling he'd been in school, no. An intelligent man with all the knowledge and power in the world. Admittedly, since he'd met Sebastian he'd been less interested in playing games with senators and murderers, but at least now he'd look the part. From Sebastian's room he heard a yell, followed by, "I am not wearing this, you utter dickhead!" Causing Jim to laugh loudly.
"Put it on, Tiger!" Jim yelled back, "You promised to wear whatever I got~" He sang sweetly. "Don't be boring, or I'll-"
"Make me into shoes?" Sebastian teased, then muttered, "Fine. I'll wear it. Once." There was a rustling as he changed into the outfit. Jim walked out and knocked on his door. "I'm not coming out. I look like a dick."
Jim giggled, "Come on Sebby! Or you won't see me in this wonderful suit you bought me!" There was a pause, multiple curses in a variety of languages, then a very pissed off Sebastian opened the door.
"Laugh and I'll eat your face," He growled.
Jim tried his best to keep a straight face. Sebastian stood before him in a tiger onesie, hood pulled up, paw-gloves on his hands. His face beneath the hood held a look of complete and utter hatred. Sebastian Moran, the world's greatest sniper... Dressed up like a three year old child. Before he could react, Jim had grabbed him and, in Sharpie, coloured the tip of his nose black, drawing three whiskers on each of his cheeks. Sebastian growled and pinned Jim to a wall, then, after a short moment of looking like he was going to put Jim's head through the plasterboard, laughed softly.
"I hate you so much," He chuckled, and Jim laughed with him, putting the lid on the Sharpie and throwing it down the hall. He hugged Sebastian tightly, his smile gradually fading. Was this it? Was this as far as their relationship would ever go? Laughing together, maybe hugging... But only friends? Sebastian seemed to sense Jim's change in mood, moving to look him in the eye. "W-wait, I wasn't being serious!" He seemed anxious over Jim's sudden change in mood.
"Wha...? No, no, I know you weren't!" Jim grinned up at him, losing himself in those emerald eyes, the colour of summer leaves, those eyes that saw everything. Jim had never once lied to Sebastian, for which he was very proud. Was it lying when he hid his feelings? Sure, he made a few jokes every so often, but he was just teasing... right? Sebastian's mouth pulled into a perfect smile, and Jim's heart skipped a beat, his cheeks heating. There was no space between them: he was trapped between the wall and his beautiful Tiger. He opened his mouth to say... something... when he was stopped.
What the hell are you doing, Sebastian?
Before he could react, Sebastian had his lips pressed to Jim's, somewhat awkwardly, smudging Sharpie across Jim's face. After a few seconds, he leaned into the kiss: feeling Jim do the same a moment after. And for a while, they just stood there. Not exactly kissing, just... leaning on each other, lips pressed together, getting used to each other. Jim breathed in Sebastian's earthy scent and could no longer just stand there. He stood up on his tip toes and kissed Sebastian properly, wrapping his arms around the ridiculous tiger-man's neck, pulling himself closer to him.
"Jim, these bloody whiskers have been on my face for three days!" Sebastian called from the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. His face was a little red where he' d tried to scrub off the marker, but nothing was working. Jim walked in, wearing just his underwear and a smug grin, kissing Sebastian's cheek.
"My poor tiger!" He giggled, nuzzling Sebastian's neck, "I have an assignment for you, but I can't have you looking like that when I send you out!" He grinned, handing Sebastian some files. Sebastian sat on the toilet lid and read the files, while Jim cleaned his face with a warm cloth and soap, eventually rubbing off the marks. "Will you take it? I know you haven't had a job in a while, but it's only one woman."
Sebastian nodded, shutting the file, "Of course. She's one of your ex-assassins?"
"Mm, she went rogue a year ago, and is now targeting my men. Ergo, she'll target you. I'm not letting that happen, Tiger." Jim kissed his forehead. They'd been going strong since their first kiss, though the tiger costume had ended up somewhat wrecked after their first passionate encounter. It still lay across Jim's bedroom floor in pieces.
Sebastian stood and hugged Jim briefly, "I'll go now, get it over and done with." He hurried out of the bathroom to get dressed and collect his gun. It was easy finding her: she was walking her dog with her husband. He hid in a tree, making use of the higher ground and coverage, and took the shot. It was over in a second, and Sebastian took no time to pack up and leave: he didn't want to hang around for longer than he had to. He slipped away unseen, walking home to Jim, "That was easy. She wasn't prepared for it." He grinned as Jim came up to him and kissed him gently.
"Good boy, Tiger!" Jim praised, hugging the tall, slender man tightly, though he seemed to be shaking somewhat.
"Are you okay, Kitty? You look like you've seen a ghost." Sebastian sat down with Jim on his lap, where Jim explained that he'd had a nightmare, in which Sebastian had been killed. He cried that it had been so realistic that he could have sworn it had actually happened. And so Sebastian sang to him, a soft lullaby.
You are my boy of moonlight,
You call the angels down.
There is a peace within my heart,
Whenever you’re around,
The stars at night they all shine bright,
And my darling so do you
You are my boy of moonlight and I’ll always love you
You are my boy of shooting stars,
You are my wish come true,
My heart had never held such love,
Until my arms held you,
The stars at night they all shine bright,
And darling so do you,
You are my boy of moonlight and I’ll always love you.
The stars at night they all shine bright,
And darling so do you,
You are my boy of moonlight and I’ll always love you.
Sebastian looked down to see Jim fast asleep in his arms, a look of peace on his face, making Sebastian smile gratefully. What had he ever done to deserve such a special man? His Kitty, his boy of moonlight. Yes, Jim wasn't 'normal', but it didn't make him incapable of love. Hell, in the last year he'd ordered the murder of two people, both of whom were a threat to him. It was no longer for fun, no longer pointless massacre. And at the same time, Sebastian was eating properly, smiling again. Jim was his saviour, and he hoped that he knew.
"What the hell are you doing?!" A random guy yelled at Sebastian, who was covered in another man's blood, holding his limp body in his hand.
"Wow, Jimmy boy, haven't you grown up? Still a midget though! A little weakling! And oh, who is this? Your protege? Had to get a body guard, huh? Do you remember the time I put you in the washing machine and turned it one to see how long it took you to get out? At least when you did get out you didn't smell any more!"
Jim's childhood bully had spotted Jim and Sebastian in the park, and had decided to be a dick. Sebastian had forced Jim to go home, and, then, beat the shit out of the little bastard who'd dared to call Jim names. He wasn't laughing any more, and wouldn't be for a long time. His jaw was broken, as were several of his ribs. His face was caked with blood: his left eyelid couldn't even open because of the weight of the blood on it. Sebastian just grinned and kept hitting him until he was out cold. He growled at the passer-by, who quickly ran off, not wanting to be Sebastian's next victim. Quickly, Sebastian threw the unconscious body into a bin, "Where you belong, you piece of shit. You're lucky you're still alive!"
He then went home to Jim, curled up on the sofa, told him everything would be okay, sang him to sleep. Needless to say, the bully never came back, and never breathed a word of what had happened to the police,mainly because he had absolutely no idea what had happened. He woke up a few days later in a bin, feeling like one big bruise. The medics put it down to drinking and stupidity. Misadventure, they'd called it.
"Jimmy!" Sebastian called, running into Jim's room, smiling. He had a box in his hands. Jim was still shaken from the incident a few nights ago, and Sebastian was determined to make it all okay. He put the box on Jim's lap, "Open it!"
So Jim did. And inside he found, "A... kitten?" He laughed. A little black kitten with emerald eyes mewled at him, hopping out of the box and licking Jim's nose. "Does it have a name?"
Sebastian shook his head, "It's a girl, and you get to name her."
"W-why?" Jim asked, genuinely surprised at the gift.
"Happy anniversary, Kitty!"
"Where were you last night, Seb?" Jim spat, eyeing Sebastian. They'd now been together for just over three years: Sebastian had missed their anniversary dinner.
"I said I was sorry, Jim! I really am! I was trying to pick up your gift but they said it hadn't arrived in the shop, and I had to wait for it. I couldn't turn up without it!" Sebastian whined guiltily.
"You could have just said that! We could've just had out dinner and you could've picked up the gift another day!" Jim yelled. He was irrationally furious at Sebastian. Hell, he knew he was being stupid, that Sebastian hadn't meant any harm. But he just needed to let it out.
Sebastian sighed, "I'm going to go out... Cool off. I'll get some stuff from the shop. I won't be long."
This just set Jim off again, "Oh, just run away like the pussy you are! You're such a dick, Sebastian! Why the hell do I love you?!" The words flew out, and they hit Sebastian like daggers. "I fucking hate you, Sebastian. Just piss off." He stood rooted to the spot, until Jim came up and shoved him out of the door, "Fuck off! I don't want to see your disgusting face again! You repel me, you bastard! Why couldn' we just have one meal together? One meal?! Is that too much to ask?" He paused. "Are you not even going to apologize? You're scum!" He slammed the door shut.
Sebastian swallowed the lump in his throat and stumbled away, head down. He walked to the shop, knowing that Jim would cool off soon enough. The words still hurt him, though. What if that was it? What if Jim really did hate him, and he really did never want to see him again?
"Oi! Sebastian Moran?" A deep voice called from an alleyway just by the shop. He turned to see a man... That woman's husband. The one he'd killed a few months ago. How did he know his name? Did he know he'd killed his wife? "Oh, you bastard! You murderer!" Apparently, yes. He did know. Sebastian watched him cautiously as he walked up to him. He wasn't prepared for the man to grab him, pushing him into the alleyway. "You shot her! You bastard! You killed my wife!" He yelled, punching Sebastian in the jaw, leaving him slumped on the floor. "Get up! Take it like a man!"
So Sebastian stood. What happened next... It happened so fast. The man pulled out a gun, laughing crazily, aiming it at Sebastian. "N-no! We can talk about this. Is shooting me really going to he-..."
Sebastian froze, then looked down. For a second, nothing, then a red stain flowered across shirt; bright crimson blood. He took a chocking breath, a ragged gasp, and stumbled back. No. Not like this. The maniacal laugh of the revenge-seeking husband slowly faded, leaving just a dull ringing in his ears. Over the ringing he heard a soft thump as his legs gave up, leaving him lying in the cold alleyway, bleeding to death. Oh, how he yearned to tell Jim how much he loved him... Just one last time...
I love yuo,.. SM x
"Seb... Sebby...?" Jim frowned. He hadn't seen Sebastian all morning. Had... Had he scared him off? Had Sebastian walked out of his life... For good? Impossible. He saw the text and frowned. Sebastian was meticulous in his spelling and grammar.
Sebastian? JM
Sebby I'm so sorry. JM
Sebastian come home, please! JM
Why... why wouldn't he text back?
I love you. JM
Was he hurt? Was he ignoring him?
Seb? JM
SEB?! JM
He quickly dressed, scenarios flying through his head. His hands shook as he buttoned up his shirt. What if Sebastian was hurt? What if he'd moved on to another man? He shook his head and quickly walked out of the house, jogging up to the corner shop. Over his ragged breath he could hear something. A weak moan that tore Jim's heart in two. Because that voice belonged to his Tiger. His beautiful Tiger, who was now lying in a back alley, eyes wide, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
Jim fell over his own feet, landing next to Sebastian, taking his face in his hands. "N-no... Tiger..." He whispered, vision blurred by tears. "Oh God... I'm so sorry!" He wiped the tears from his face. No. Not like this. Sebastian Moran couldn't die... Thinking Jim hated him. He put his hand over the single wound on Sebastian's gut, trying to stem the bleeding. "It's only one wound, Tiger. You're okay. You're gonna be fine," He was sobbing now. Because for the first time, he'd lied to his love.
"K...Kitty..." Sebastian whispered, voice barely audible over Jim's harsh sobs that racked his body. His blonde hair clung to his forehead, damp with a cold sweat. His green eyes were beginning to cloud over. His pale lips held a small smile, as he began to do what Jim loved the most. He sang. "Y... You are my sun...shine. M-my only... sun...shine..." His voice was fading already: he didn't have long left. Yet he carried on. "You make m-me.... happy... When sk-skies are... g-grey..." He reached up his hand and touched Jim's cheek, smearing blood across his pale skin. He reached for Jim's hand and put something in it. A cold metal band, inside was carved My Kitty and it fit perfectly onto Jim's ring finger. The gift that had caused this dispute, had lead to Sebastian's death... He wanted to propose to him. Of course. An anniversary meal... And a proposal. That's why he'd been so desperate to get the gift then, and no other time. Jim cried harder, his insides twisted with guilt.
"You'll never... know d-dear... How much I... love... you..." His voice faded as he said the last words, his bright eyes were dimmed, his smile gone. His head fell back, and his chest ceased to move.
"So please don't take my sunshine away," Jim sobbed, clutching Sebastian's shirt, hugging him close. "I love you, Tiger."
From there... It fell apart. Jim went back to his ways, killing and playing games, torturing innocent people. They were all so boring! Sebastian hadn't been boring. He'd been fun. But everyone else was really boring. With their ordinary lives. He paced up and down his flat, "Boring... So boring... b-boring... Really boring!" He muttered over and over, before collapsing and laughing crazily, a loud, insane giggle, "So boring!" Then his eye caught the laptop screen. The Science of Deduction. "N-not boring?" He wondered aloud, reading the web page, giggling, "Not boring!" He picked up his phone, scrolling through his contacts. Jeff Hope.
I heard you were looking for a sponsor? JM
Ooh... This'll be fun!