Chapter soon to be edited.
Rated: PG-13
TW: blood, death
Without Him ~ Christina Grimmie (RIP)
* * *
I coughed, holding a hand to my chest as I let out a strained groan. It was getting exceedingly hard to breathe; the smoke coming from the demolished room beside me was pouring into the room I was currently lying in, which was making it that much harder to see, too.
A few days ago, I'd gotten word about a group of crooks without a name planning to break into a mint located on the southern side of Gotham. There was supposed to be an exporting shipment of almost $25,000,000 leaving Gotham for the Midwest at 10 PM tonight, and, being the cocky superhero I usually pretended to act like, I thought that I could handle it on my own.
As soon as I had stepped into the building, I was tackled to the floor by Robin, who had come out of freaking nowhere. Fortunately, he was there in time to move me out of the line of sight of the armed guards standing only a few yards away. After a rather interesting scolding from probably the hottest vigilante in this dimension, I willfully accepted his help on the mission. Unfortunately, we somehow failed to notice the giant bomb they'd set up in the factory, and by the time I had tried to disarm it, it was too late. Robin and I turned tail and ran as the bomb went off, though we didn't have a chance to escape the blast. That's pretty much what led to me lying majoritively conscious on the busted floor of a destroyed money factory.
"R. . . Robin," I wheezed, flicking my hair out of my face as I readjusted my mask. It made it easier to see - since it wasn't pushed over my eyes anymore - though it didn't bring me any closer to finding my accomplice.
"Robin!" I tried again, my voice breaking. I held my breath, my heart pounding anxiously in my chest as I waited for a a response. After a few moments of silence, I decided that I couldn't wait around any longer.
I rolled over onto my back, looking down at the desk that was sitting on top of my legs. Though it wasn't completely crushing them, it still hurt like a bitch any time I moved it. I took a deep breath, letting out a loud yell as I used the majority of my remaining energy to shove the desk away. However, as I pushed against it, a crazy-bad pain shot up through my arm from my shoulder, and I gritted my teeth together.
"Come on, (Y/N); you have to keep going," I grunted, pushing through the pain as I shoved the desk off of me. It hit the floor with a crash, and I scooted back, wincing at the pain that continued to radiate from my shoulder.
"It's okay, Robin," I breathed, holding myself up on one of my elbows. "I'm coming." I grunted as I used the desk to push myself onto my knees, and finally up onto my feet. I yelped as a wave of pain shot up my leg, causing me to stumble into the wall beside me; I guess I'd failed to notice my swollen ankle, too. I huffed, letting out another deep cough as the smoke continued to linger around my head.
"(Y/. . . (Y/S/N)."
"Robin!" I exclaimed, whirling around to face a hallway that was positioned behind me. It was filled with debris from the explosion, making my path look more like an abandoned construction site. "Robin, are you back there?!"
"(Y/S/N)," I heard him groan, and the smile on my face grew exponentially.
"Hold on," I answered back, using the wall to steady myself as I moved as fast as I could to the hallway.
"(Y/S/N)."
"Hold on, I'm coming!" I called, crawling over a flipped desk and past a pile of cracked drywall. As happy as I was to hear that he was alive, I was concerned about the way his voice sounded. Granted, we were enclosed in a demolished building filled with smoke, but there was something that didn't seem. . . right. It was scaring me.
I paused as I heard him mutter something to himself, my eyes darting around the darkened hall.
"What's wrong? What happened? Where are you?" I asked. There was another grunt, followed by a stuttered string of curses that sent my nerves a bit on edge.
"Just. . . don't get any closer," he answered back, letting out a cough. "Get out of here, before you get hurt."
"I'm not just going to leave you here!" I called, shaking my head. "Robin, where are you?"
"(Y/S/N), just get out of here!" He replied. I hesitated for a moment before shaking my head again, pushing away from the wall as I continued on down the hall. Whether he liked it or not, I was going to get him out of here. All I had to do was find him, and then we'd get out of here, safe and sound; together.
I was finally able to pick up the sound of his heavy breathing as I neared a stack of dented filing cabinets, and I wasted no time in using my good arm to push them over, ignoring the pain in both my arm and ankle as I threw them out of the way.
"Oh, my God. . . " I breathed, my heart falling into my stomach.
"I told you to get out of here," he whispered, closing his eyes as he rested his head back against the crumbling wall behind him. I could already feel the rears spilling down my cheeks as I rushed toward him, falling to my knees beside him.
"W. . . How. . . What happened?" I whispered, my masked eyes widening at the sight of his wounds. He was fastened to the wall by three long, sharp pieces of rebar protruding from his abdomen. The metal poles were slicked with blood, bent and burned from the explosion. It was sickening to see it, just jutting out of his stomach. I had to get them out.
I tried using what little strength I had left to pull them out, but every time I touched one of them, Robin would scream, which only made the tears in my eyes regenerate even faster. I knew that I was hurting him; I knew that he was in pain, but I had to get them out. I had to help him. I had to save him.
"(Y/S/N), stop," he finally grunted, placing a gloved hand on my shoulder. I threw it off, shaking my head violently as I looked up into his masked eyes, which were shimmering with tears.
"N-No, I can do it!" I exclaimed, choking out a sob. "I can save you! Just give me more time! I can -" Robin reached up toward me again and placed his hand on my cheek, causing me to stop speaking. I placed my hand on top of his own, squeezing my eyes shut as I began sobbing uncontrollably. I moved closer to Robin, turning so that I was fully facing him.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my tears slipping through my mask and onto his bloodied suit. "I'm so sorry. It's my fault; it's all my fault. If I hadn't come here, you wouldn't have. . . " I slowly looked between the two of his eyes, which were slowly starting to glaze over with an emptiness that made me sick to my stomach. It was too soon; there were still so many things that I wanted us to do together, so many missions we would be partnered up on. There were still so many things I hadn't told him.
"I need you to do something for me, okay?" I croaked, dragging a gloved hand over my cheek as I tried to wipe away my tears.
"Anything," he murmured back, giving me a weak, crooked smile.
"Take it off," I said, leaning down toward him. He furrowed his brows, searching my face curiously.
"Take what off?" I let a sigh slip through my nose as I closed my eyes, using my own hand to lead his over to the edge of my mask. I heard him gasp lightly as his fingers curled around mine, an unsure hum emenating from his throat.
"Are you sure?" He asked. I nodded.
"Please," I whispered, letting out another sob, "just do it." I felt him hesitate for a moment before his other hand came to rest on my cheek, his fingers running along the edge of my mask. I lowered my head a bit, my bangs falling over my eyes as I felt him curl his fingers under the material, slowly pulling it away from my face. I lowered my head even further when I heard a gasp slip through his lips, though his hand under my chin forced me to look back up to him.
"It's you," he whispered, chuckling dryly. "(Y/N)?" My eyes shot open at the mention of my name - my real name - and I looked at him confusedly, my brow creased.
"You know me?" I asked, shaking my head. He didn't answer, giving me a small smile as he leaned up toward me, only leaving about an inch of space between us.
"Yeah," he murmured, "I do." With that, he pulled my face closer, his lips pressing against mine softly. My eyes widened the slightest bit before fluttering closed, and I leaned forward a bit more, gaining a better angle into our kiss. I smiled against his lips as I felt his hand slip up into my hair, his gloved fingers tangling in my dirtied locks as he held us together. This was it; the moment I'd been waiting for ever since I'd met Robin, though it pained me to no end to think that it would most likely be the last.
As my lips parted a bit, I felt his tongue trailing over my Cupid's bow, and I gasped as I tasted something bitter; something irony.
Blood.
"Robin," I breathed, pulling away so that I could look him in the eye. He was smiling up at me through the pained look on his face, though the blood that had started trickling out of the corner of his mouth was unmissable.
"Robin," I repeated hoarsely, the sobs that had returned to my throat seeping out. I felt the tears returning to my eyes, making his image in front of me distorted and blurry. The smile on his lips wavered as one of his hands moved to my face, stiffly wiping the tears away from my cheeks.
"You're stupid, you know that?" He uttered, shaking his head lightly. I furrowed my brows as another sob escaped me.
"W-What?" I asked.
"Crying over someone like me, who doesn't even matter in this world," he replied. I frowned, shaking my head as I held his face in both of my hands.
"What do you mean, you don't matter?" I asked. "You absolutely matter. You matter to Batman, you matter to Gotham, to the world. . . " I trailed off, the tears that were trickling down my cheeks dripping onto his bloodied suit. "You matter to me. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I. . . You're the reason that I wanted to become (Y/S/N). Seeing you do your job was what inspired me to try to make something out of myself. I fell in love with you after I first met you as (Y/S/N). You. . . Honestly, I think you mean more to me than life, itself."
"Wow," Robin breathed, letting out a broken cough. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that." I let out another sob as his fingers brushed a lock of hair behind my ear, his thumb rubbing over my damp cheek. "By the way, I think it's your turn." I furrowed my eyebrows, sniffling as I looked between the two of his masked eyes.
"What do you mean?" I asked. He didn't answer, instead grabbing my hand in his own and leading it toward his face until my fingers were touching the edge of his mask. I gasped lightly, my eyes widening as I shook my head.
"Robin, a-are you sure?" I asked. Robin huffed, letting out a string of weak coughs as he nodded.
"Secrets are something you take to the grave, right?" He muttered. "I mean, I'm already here, so why not?" I held a hand to my mouth as I choked out another sob, my entire body shaking violently as I rested my forehead against his own. God, just hearing him say that was like a punch straight to the heart. It only made me remember that he was actually dying in front of me, that I could most likely be the last thing he would ever see. I let out a sniffle as his gloved fingers ran lightly through my hair, his voice softly shushing me.
"It's not as bad as you think," he whispered, tittering. "I c. . . I can't even feel it, anymore."
"I-I-I don't want to l-lose you," I stuttered, crying like a child as I shook my head. "Robin, I -"
"Damian," he whispered. My eyes shot open as I raised my head, looking him in the eye.
"What?" I muttered. "What did you just say?"
"Damian," he repeated, giving me a weak smile. "Damian Wayne; I'm sure you've heard of me." I gasped as I sat up straight, my fingers immediately finding their way under the edge of his mask as I pulled it away from his face. There, lying underneath, was the blanking face of my boss's son. The boy who'd often slip into his father's office at Wayne Enterprises just to complain about something minuscule; the boy who would always tell me to have a good morning as I held the door open for him; the boy who would shoot me a smile anytime he passes by my desk.
My boss Bruce Wayne's son. . . was the Robin.
"D-Damian," I stuttered, my mouth falling open. "I. . . I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't. . . I didn't -"
"Don't worry about it," he whispered, his eyes now only half-lidded. "It was bound to happen, anyway."
"Not like this!" I snapped, gritting my teeth together angrily. "You weren't supposed to die like this! You weren't even supposed to be here! Why - why did you come?! Why -"
"I was worried about you," he whispered, coughing as more blood began to spill over his bottom lip. "I couldn't just let you wander in here by yourself."
"But, why. . ." I sputtered, my voice breaking, "why me? Why even bother?"
"Isn't it obvious?" He whispered, lifting a limp hand toward my face. The tips of his fingers traced over my bottom lip as he smiled weakly. "It's because I fell in love with (Y/S/N)." My eyes widened as I shook my head, a look of disbelief crossing over my face.
"Are you serious?" I breathed, shaking my head. He blinked heavily, his head bobbing the slightest bit.
"Of course," he whispered, his voice barely audible now. "Honestly, I'm just glad that she happened to be you. (Y/N) was kind of an added bonus." I scoffed, leaning forward to rest my forehead against his.
"You really are a jerk, Mr. Wayne," I murmured, shaking my head as the tears continued to make trails over my cheeks. Damian hummed quietly, his head tilting back as his lips pressed against mine ever so softly.
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" He whispered, to which I couldn't help but smile.
"No, I guess not," I replied quietly. "Should you even be making jokes at a time like this?"
"No, I guess not," Damian mocked, leaning up to kiss me again. This one lasted a bit longer, which made my heart drop even further because I could feel him growing weaker by the second in front of me.
I pulled away when he let out a sharp breath, his body jerking as another steady stream of blood continued down his chin. I began crying again as I pulled his head into my chest, his forehead resting against my collarbone as I felt him taking shallow breaths. With every heave of his chest, I let out another sob, fearing that it was his last.
Finally, after a few moments, it just stopped. His chest was no longer moving; his heart was no longer beating.
I pulled him in tighter as I screamed, my sobs echoing off of the crumbling building around us. I couldn't stop the tears, even after my throat had become so raw, and my body was so exhausted. I couldn't stop crying.
After what seemed like hours, I only separated from him when I heard the sound of heavy booted footsteps approaching me from behind. My head shot up as I glanced over my shoulder, holding Damian's lifeless body even closer.
"Don't take him from me," I croaked, my voice breaking. "Please; not yet."
Batman's face remained as stoic as before as he stood beside me, his eyes trailing from me to Damian in my arms.
"I won't," he muttered, his voice sending a chill down my spine, "but only if you do something for me when I do take him back." I slowly looked back down at Damian's body, nodding heavily as I rested my forehead against the top of his head.
"Okay," I whispered.
"I need you to find someone," Batman muttered. "If you can persuade him, he might be able to help."
"Help, how?" I snapped, shaking my head. "Damian is dead!"
"So was he." My eyes shot open as I gasped lightly, shooting a glance back over my shoulder at Batman.
"Who?!" I almost growled, a perplexed look crossing over my face. Batman hesitated for a moment before raising his head the slightest bit, looking down at me with caution-filled eyes.
"Red Hood."
To be continued.