50) * Dad calls me when I'm at school *
Dad: I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it's the best ceiling in the world, but it's definitely up there.
Me: You called me for this?
51)
Dad: Why did the blind man fall into the well?Because he couldn't see that well.
Me: This is why I'm never home
52)
Me: Dad I'm cold
Dad: Go stand in a corner for a bit. They are usually around 90 degrees.
53)
Dad: A big cat escaped it's cage at the zoo yesterday.
Me: Really?
Dad: Yeah, If I saw that I'd puma pants
54)
Dad: Don't kiss your girlfriend with a runny nose. You might think it's funny, but it's snot.
Me: I broke up with my girlfriend a month ago
55)
* at my friends little sister's party *
Friends Dad:This bouncy castle's twice the price of last year"
My Dad:No That's...
Me: Please no
My Dad: That's inflation for you!
56)
Dad: You like Dinosuars, right?
Me: Yeah
Dad: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?Because the P is silent
Me: Good one dad.....
57)
Dad: Hey they made a hay maze in the park
Mom: if you make a pun I will move out
Dad: It was Hay mazing!
Mom: * Walks away *
Dad: * Turns and looks at me * Looks like I'll be spending this Valentine's Day...Obamaself.
Me: Mom wait for me
58)
Dad: How does a penguin build it's house?Igloos it together.
Me: Oh god
59)
Dad: You like Fairy tail, right?
Me: Yes it the best anime in the world
Dad: You cosplay as Natsu dragneel, right?
Me: Yes?
Dad: Well..
Me: Oh god
Dad: NATSU DRAGNEEL MORE LIKE NATSU DRUGNEEL
Me: YOU hAVE RUINED FAIRY TAIL
60)
Dad: What is the difference between a Piano and a fish
Me: What?
Dad: You can Tune a piano..... but you can't tuna-fish!
~
I posted 59 on my twitter along time ago and I just wanted to share it with u guys