Once all of the bodies are burned, you head to some bar. Castiel and his friends already disappeared and you don't mind at all. Dean and Sam are talking in front of you about where to go next. They mention a few times a place called "bunker", but you aren't really listening to them, thinking. Today was really horrible, even though the hunt went well. You can't stop thinking about the burning bodies and you are really looking forward to drinking some alcohol to get the images out of your mind. It reminded you of your mother, of her funeral if you can even call it that. You had her body burned and afterwards you dispersed her ashes at your favourite place, where you used to go before your mother started hunting again.
Suddenly you remember what your mother kept telling you. That you should never ever let someone get close to you. Those people will become your biggest weakness and you will become theirs, which is what got your mom killed. She had always said that it's better to be on your own.
As you look at the brothers, you realize that you can't stay with them. It would be too dangerous for all of you, especially for you and Dean, because there is definitely something going on. On top of that you remember what Castiel had done to you. You can't trust people, it could get you killed.
You sigh as you make up your mind. Let's enjoy the last night with them, you think, as you jog next to them and join their conversation.
You find a bar quite close to the motel, which is pretty nice. All of you buy beers and head to the billiard and start playing - you and Sam against Dean.
"Oh, God. Sam, I'm sorry, but I'm terrible at this game." You wince as you almost hit the black ball.
"Okay, let me show you some tricks." Sam gets behind your back and starts adjusting your posture. When he touches your hips, you tense. You raise your head and when you meet Dean's eyes, you see something in his gaze. His jaw is clenched and he's clutching the beer a bit more than he should.
Once Sam is finally satisfied with how you are standing, you try it one more time. You focus as you aim at a blue ball. To your surprise, it goes smoothly into one of the holes. You exclaim happily and give Sam a quick hug.
"See? It's pretty easy if you know the basics." Sam chuckles. You thank him and start enjoying the game.
Even though you stopped being so bad, Dean still wins, but at least you lost with dignity. It was really fun though and all of you agree on a rematch. You quickly go to the loo and when you come back, Sam is putting on his jacket.
"What? You aren't staying?" You ask him slightly surprised.
"Yeah, I decided to go to bed. I'm pretty tired." He yawns and looks behind your back. Dean is looking at him with a smirk. What happened when I was gone?
"You can't leave me here! I won't be able to defeat him, c'mon, I need your help, Sam." Sam starts looking from you to Dean, but in the end he leaves you there alone with his older brother. Traitor.
"Okay, I'll need something stronger." You say as you walk to the bar and order juice with vodka. Dean laughs at your choice of drink.
"You call this stronger?" He chuckles and buys himself whiskey. You ignore him and grab a straw, which you place into your glass. He just shakes his head and leads you back to the billiard.
"So, you sure that you want to play with me?" You ask him before you start playing.
"Yeah, of course." He smiles and starts the game. Even though you try really hard, you place only one ball into the pocket after 15 minutes, when Dean has placed already five of them.
"Okay, stop for a second. I can't watch you playing like this anymore." He puts his cue on the table and goes by your side.
"I know that Sammy told you to stand like this, but I know better." He whispers to your right ear as he stands behind you. His voice sends shivers down your spine and you can already feel the blush creeping on your cheeks. Dammit.
He places one of his hands on your hip and pulls you closer to him. He bends down a little, forcing you to bend a bit more. He adjusts your cue in your hands and guides your moves to hit another ball on the table. His body is pressed to your back and you can feel his every move.
You successfully hit a few cue balls, which makes you very happy. When Dean starts stroking your right hip, you feel the heat rising in the room. If you don't do something, you will melt in his hands.
You wriggle out of his grip and turn around, facing him. As you look directly into his deep green eyes and notice, how close he is, you realize that this maybe wasn't such a good idea. You place a finger on his chest, lightly pushing him.
"I think that it's your turn." You rebuke him. He smirks a little before he goes back to get his cue.
The game continues and you order more and more drinks. After the game, in which Dean let you win, you end up sitting at the bar, doing shots with Dean.
"Are you trying to get me drunk, Winchester?" You giggle and place your hand on Dean's thigh.
"I would never do such thing." He cocks his head to the right side as he eyes you up. Your head is spinning and you know that you can't drink more, otherwise it will end up badly.
"Sure." You roll your eyes and jump down from the bar stool.
"Let's go outside, I think that I've had enough." You struggle as you put on your jacket, so Dean has to help you.
"Yeah, you're right, (y/n). You've had enough." He chuckles. You tell him to shut up and head out of the bar. You inhale deeply the fresh air, trying to clear your head, but it doesn't work. As Dean joins you outside, he slowly wraps his arm around your waist. His arm is warm and very welcoming in the chilly evening.
"How come you are alright, Dean?" You narrow your eyes on him, lightly stumbling. His grip tightens, making sure that you don't fall.
"I'm a man, I can handle a few shots." He laughs.
"Did you tell Sam to leave us alone before?" You accuse him, turning to face him. The alcohol made you braver, you are not nervous around the older Winchester anymore. Dean's green eyes sparkle, but he doesn't admit anything.
"I don't believe you!" You jump from him, giggling. You are suddenly full of energy, wanting to dance or something.
"Let's race back to the motel." You suggest, wiggling your eyebrows at Dean.
"You can't even stand! You'll fall, (y/n)." He laughs, coming closer to you.
"Yeah? Let's see!" You yell as you start running to the motel, which is only 500 meters away. You can hear Dean behind you, but you are faster. Once you reach the parking lot, you want to turn around and laugh at Dean, because he lost. But before you have the chance, someone grabs you and throws you on his shoulders. You shriek and start giggling even more.
"SSShh, (y/n), or you will wake up the whole motel." Dean rebukes you. When he places you down on your feet, you are standing next to the Impala. Dean still hasn't let go of you, holding your hips. He gently pushes you closer to the car, so you can feel the cold metal on your back.
"Dean, what are y-" You don't have a chance to finish your question, because Dean kisses you. Once you respond to his soft lips, he presses his body against yours. He puts his hands in the back pockets of your jeans, lightly squeezing your butt. You wrap your arms around his neck and tangle one of your hands into his hair. When Dean bites your lower lip, you moan softly. You can already feel his arousal and you feel like you are gonna explode, if he doesn't do something soon.
In one quick move Dean unlocks his car and opens the back door. Before you can protest, he throws you into the backseat. He climbs on top of you after he closes the door behind you.
He kisses you again, making you forget all the possibilities of how people could catch you in the parking lot. Dean pulls up your t-shirt and kisses your bellybutton. He continues planting kisses on your tummy until he reaches your bra.
He starts kissing you again, more passionately, hungrily. Meanwhile he undoes your bra with one hand and takes it off you with your jacket and t-shirt. You moan again, when he cups your breast. You start getting impatient, so you give his belt a tug. He chuckles into your kiss and helps you to unbuckle his belt. He quickly undoes your jeans, pulling them down. Before you know it, both of you are naked. You wonder, if it's Impala's first time, but you highly doubt it.
...
You and Dean sit on the bonnet afterwards, watching the stars. He holds you in his arms and you start to feel horrible, knowing that you will leave them, him. When you get very tired, Dean takes you in his arms and carries you into his bed, where he lies next to you. Sam is already sleeping and as you snuggle into Dean's chest, you wish you could just stay a bit longer.
......................
You sleep just long enough to get the alcohol out of your system. When you wake up, Sam's bed is empty. You glance at the alarm clock on the night table, which shows 6 o'clock. He must've gone jogging. You quickly get up, regretting it almost immediately. Little dwarfs start pounding with their hammers in your head. You wince quietly as you put on your clothes.
You look at Dean, who is turned with his back to you, still sleeping. You sigh as you take your duffel bag. Before you get out of there, you write "Sorry, had to go." on a small piece of paper and place it on the table. You walk out of the room and quickly start up your car, so you don't have to face Sam. You hit the road and just drive, until you reach a place, where you haven't been for a long time.
You smile as you see the sign with the name of the city – Knoxville. You drive past your former home, but you don't want to stop there. Instead you drive out of the city and closer to the Lake Red Rock. Once you find your spot, you park your car and get out, gasping for the fresh air. Your eyes start filling with tears, when you see the bench, which looks the same even after 6 years. Last time you were here, you spread your mother's ashes into the lake. You sit on the bench and close your eyes, picturing your mother sitting next to you.
"I wish you were here." You whisper into the cold air. When you open your eyes, your heartbeat has calmed.
You sit there for a few minutes and just as you are preparing yourself to leave, you hear the familiar whoosh. You sigh, not wanting to face the person, who has appeared next to you.
"What do you want, Castiel?" You ask him.
"Just checking on you." He answers. Cas places his hand on your shoulder, but you shake it off.
"Why did you leave them?" He questions you, looking deeply into your soul again.
"I can't be around people, who I care about. I'm better on my own and so are they." You reply. At least they don't have to risk their own lives to protect me, you think.
"How did you even find me?" You look at him from the corner of your eye. Castiel is looking in front of him, staring at the lake.
"I just listened." He shrugs before he stands up. You raise your head and finally look into his blue eyes, which are full of worry.
"You should go back to them, they can protect you." He whispers. You jump from the bench as anger fills your veins.
"I don't need anyone to protect me. Not even you, checking on me. Just leave me alone." You say through gritted teeth and start making your way back to your car.
"I owe you, (y/n), you know that, because of last time." Castiel says.
"You don't owe me anything. I don't want you to owe me anything." You answer angrily and open the front door. When he doesn't answer, you turn around and notice he's already gone. You roll your eyes as you sit in the car. Typical.
A/N well another chapter! Soo are you angry at yourself that you left? :D