Chapter 5
Choice
I fell asleep waiting for Jace's reply after I texted him about the details of the scheduled dinner with him and Dad tonight.
I reserved a private room at Dad's favorite restaurant in the morning after I went for a morning jog just around the village. And for the rest of the day, I was just inside my walk-in closet, looking for what clothes to wear for the dinner. Ilang oras din ang ginugol ko sa paghahanap ng damit. Madalas ay nakakapili na ako ngunit bigla kong maiisip na parang hindi bagay sa akin ang damit na susuotin. Masiyado akong nagiging conscious kaya hindi ako makapili ng maayos.
And in the end, nauwi din ako sa light pink dress na pinakauna kong napili magmula ng tumambay ako rito sa walk-in closet.
"It's a good thing that he agreed to meet with us, Zarina. Sana lang ay hindi natin nagulo ang schedule niya," sabi ni Daddy habang hinihintay namin sa pagdating si Jace.
"He wouldn't agree if it will affect his schedule, Dad," sabi ko naman dahil kanina pa siya napapaisip na baka naabala namin si Jace.
"I really hope so," Dad said while nodding his head to convince himself. "I know that he's a very busy man."
Napangiti naman ako bago nag-angat ng tingin. Sakto namang bumukas ang pintuan. Bumungad ang private waitress na naka-assign sa dinner namin ngayon bago niluwa nito si Jace.
He's only wearing his white longsleeves and its sleeves were folded in three-fourths. May suot pa siyang dark gray na necktie at ang kaniyang suit ay nakasabit sa kaniyang braso. Kahit mukhang pagod galing sa trabaho ay kakaibang kakisigan pa rin ang kaniyang pinapakita.
He coldly thanked the waitress before lifting his gaze. Nang tumama ang kanyang mga mata sa akin ay agad akong nanlamig dahil sa pagkawala ng emosyon doon.
I don't know why I still shiver with his cold stares when I've been receiving that kind of stare all the time. Siguro'y iba lang talaga ang epekto niya sa'kin.
Bahagya siyang nagtaas ng kilay nang mapansin ang pagtagal ng aking titig sa kanya.
I casually let out a sigh before shifting my gaze to my father. Pakiramdam ko'y pagpapawisan ako kahit sobrang lamig sa loob ng dining room. So much for pretending that you're not into him, Zarina. Galingan mo naman ang pag-acting!
"He's here, Dad" anunsyo ko kay Daddy kahit nakatingin na siya kay Jace at mukhang tuwang-tuwa sa pagdating nito.
Tumayo naman si Daddy sa kanyang kinauupuan at naglahad ng kamay kay Jace. Nilingon ko naman si Jace na bahagyang nagulat sa respetong pinapakita sa kanya ng ama ko.
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you again, Architect Sy," Dad warm heartedly greeted him.
Mabilis namang tinanggap ni Jace ang kamay ni Daddy. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan ang pagngiti. I feel like Dad really likes him.
"It's also a pleasure to meet you, Sir Rivadelo," he told my father and he smiled.
My heart skipped a beat at his smile that I don't often see. Kulang nalang ay mahulog ako sa kinauupuan ko dahil sa pagngiti niyang kay mahal at palaging pinagdadamot na ibigay sa iba.
"I'm sorry if I'm late though," he then apologized. "I was at the site in Tagaytay for an on-going project. Dumaan din akong office bago ako pumunta dito dahil may kinuha akong importanteng blueprints," he explained.
Napakagat ako sa aking labi at ibinagsak nalang ang tingin sa malinis na plato.
That's the longest line I've ever heard from him. Kapag ako ang kausap niya o ang ibang kaibigan namin ay napakatipid niyang magsalita. All his words are marked with finality. You can't even reply to it even though you want to prolong your conversation with him.
"It's okay, Architect. Ako nga ang dapat manghingi ng paumanhin dahil naabala ka pa namin. Kaysa nagpapahinga ka na ay kailangan mo pang makipagkita sa amin," nag-aalalang sabi ni Daddy.
Umiling naman si Jace para sabihin na okay lang at muling ngumiti. "You may drop the formalities, Sir. Just call me Jace."
If only I can capture this moment of him smiling, then I will. Para tuwing malungkot ako, makita ko lang siyang nakangiti ay ayos na ako.
"Well, then, just call me Tito Rey," sabi naman ni Daddy at saka bahagyang humalakhak. Halatang natutuwa siya sa mga nangyayari.
They both sat down and finally settled down. Dad called for the attention of the assigned waitress and we finally placed our orders. We ordered enough food for us three.
Dad and Jace talked about business and work. Jace told my Dad his experiences and Dad talked about his friends that are on the same field as Jace while I'm just playing with my phone, trying not to be interested with whatever they were talking about.
I shouldn't have came. Dapat ay hinayaan ko na lang si Daddy na makipag-usap mag-isa kay Jace. Nanatili nalang sana ako sa bahay at pinagtuonan ng pansin ang proyektong sisimulan ko.
Napataas naman ang aking kilay nang may biglang magchat sa akin sa messenger.
Troy Austin:
Zarina! Finally!
Austin's one of my suitors when I was still in New York and he is also a very close friend. Naging magkaibigan muna kami for a year bago siya nagdesisyong ligawan ako. Unlike my other suitors, he doesn't give up that easily. Up until now actually. I know he's still hitting on me.
Zarina Cashe:
Austin, it's still 7:30am in the morning there. What are you up to?
Napangiti naman ako nang agad siyang magreply sa aking chat. He always entertains my messages right away.
Troy Austin:
I decided to wake up early thinking that I'll be finally able to talk to you if I did, and look! Here's the product of being an early riser. Gonna make this a new hobby.
Hindi ko mapigilan ang humagikgik dahil kay Austin. If my heart wasn't stole by another man, I think I'm gonna let him have it instead.
"Zarina."
Magtitipa sana ako ng irereply kay Austin nang tawagin ni Daddy ang aking atensyon. Dumaan ang aking tingin kay Jace na seryosong nakatingin sa akin bago ko nalingon si Daddy.
"Yes, Dad?" ngiting-ngiti kong pagbaling sa kaniya.
"You should stop sticking your nose to your phone while we're on this dinner. Nakakahiya kay Jace," marahan na pangaral nito sa akin.
Napanguso naman ako. Kung sinasali lang nila ako sa usapan nila ay hindi ako magsasarili ngunit parang may harang silang dalawa na hindi ko dapat pasukin.
"I'm sorry, Dad," I apologized. "I just got so excited because a friend from New York messaged me. It's been a while since I've talked to them."
Inilapag ko naman ang cellphone ko sa ibabaw ng lamesa at saka kinuha ang baso ng tubig para makainom.
"Sinong kaibigan?" he asked, curiously.
"Austin," tipid kong sabi saka uminom ng tubig.
"Oh! He is your suitor, right? Iyong laging bumibisita sa bahay," sabi ni Daddy nang maalala at muntik na akong masamid sa iniinom kong tubig.
He didn't have to say it in front of Jace!
Bahagya kong sinulyapan ng tingin si Jace at nakitang bahagyang nakataas ang kanyang kilay habang nagtitipa ng kung ano sa kanyang cellphone.
"Siya 'yong anak ng may publishing company sa New York. I'm right, right?" paninigurado ni Daddy.
Unti-unti naman akong tumango. Muli kong tinignan si Jace na ngayo'y seryosong nakatingin sa kanyang cellphone.
Pumalakpak si Daddy at bahagyang tumawa bago lumingon kay Jace. Agad namang nag-angat ng tingin si Jace kay Daddy nang lingunin siya nito.
"Zarina has a lot of suitors when we were in New York pero ang tumagal lang na kilala ko ay iyong si Austin," kwento ni Daddy kay Jace.
Gusto ko na lang magtago sa ilalim ng lamesa sa sobrang hiya at bilangin ang mga alikabok na naiwan sa lapag. Jace doesn't need those kind of useless and unnecessary informations.
"Pero ewan ko ba dito kay Zarina. Ni isa sa mga manliligaw ay walang sinagot. She just focused with her studies," sabay bawi ni Daddy. "It's really a right choice to make her study in New York. She made everything worth it."
I looked at him and I saw his proud smile. I can't help but to smile, too. I feel like I did a very right thing and I deserve a reward for being such a good daughter.
"Ah, yes... My twin told me before that she's going to New York that's why she can't attend her debut. She thought it's just a trip or a vacation," pagkwento ni Jace at muli akong napalingon sa kaniya.
Naalala ko ang pag-aya sa akin noon ni Liana na tinanggihan ko. Talaga palang nag-oopen siya sa kanyang kakambal.
"Well, her mother wants her to study in New York. They already talked about that before her debut. Noong una'y umapila si Zarina pero kalaunan ay pumayag na rin siya. Hindi rin naman kasi siya papayagan ng Mommy niya na hindi doon mag-aral at sumama sa amin," sabi naman ni Daddy. "She's our only daughter. She is our princess. I also won't allow her to stay here alone. Hindi mapapanatag ang loob ko."
Hindi ako makapaniwalang baliwala lang kay Daddy ang pagk-kwento ng mga ito kay Jace. Sobrang bilis mapalagay ng kanyang loob sa kanya upang masabi ang mga bagay na dapat ay nakapaloob lamang sa pamilya namin.
Kita ko namagn napatahimik si Jace. He's wearing his usual expression but he looks like he's thinking about something deep.
Bigla namang tumunog ang cellphone ni Jace na nagpaantala sa kanyang pag-iisip.
Tinignan niya ito at napahinga ng mlalim.
"Excuse me," he said to Daddy before he answered the call.
Tumayo at saka tumalikod upang sagutin ang tawag.
"You're here?" mahinang sabi niya ngunit dinig ko pa rin 'yon. "Okay. Just ask someone to lead you here. Iyong tinext ko sa'yo kanina. Yes. Okay. Bye."
Pagkatapos ng tawag ay agad na humarap si Jace sa amin ni Daddy.
"Hope you don't mind po if I invited someone to join us for dinner," sabi ni Jace kay Daddy.
Agad namang umiling si Daddy at ngumiti. "It's fine, Jace. May vacant seat pa naman."
I became uneasy when he mentioned about an uninvited guest. Mukhang hindi ko magugustuhan kung sino man 'yan lalo na kung babae.
Nang makarinig ng katok mula sa pintuan ay agad akong nag-angat ng tingin. Sabay namang bumukas ang pintuan at lumitaw ang babaeng nakangiti sa waitress na naghatid sa kanya rito.
She's wearing a fitted red dress that gave emphasis to her curves. May nakasabit ding white coat sa kanyang magkabilang balikat. She looks so mature and professional.
Is the type of girl that Jace likes is like her?
Kayang-kaya kong gayahin ang kanyang pananamit at ang awrang ipinapakita niya pero hindi katulad niyang natural na. You will see that I'm really trying hard lalo na kapag nagsalita na ako o kapag nagpakita na ako ng ekspresyon.
Muling tumayo si Jace upang salubungin ni Jace ang babae na sa isip ko'y pinapanalangin na sana'y bading na lang itong babae. But of course, that's just one of my random stupid thoughts.
I bit my lower lip and just directed my gaze to the glass of water in front of me.
Kayang-kaya kong kontrolin na huwag ipakita ang nag-uumapaw na pagmamahal ko sa kanya pero sa tingin ko'y kung pagseselos ang pag-uusapan ay medyo tagilid ako at walang laban.
"Sir Rivadelo, this is Engr. Isha Leanne Horan," pakilala ni Jace sa kaniya kay Daddy. "She is a part of my team."
Bahagya naman akong napanguso. So, she's an Engineer?
"Good evening, Engineer," pormal na pagbati ni Daddy.
"Good evening, Sir Rivadelo," pagbati nito kay Daddy.
Her voice is sweet but has a distinction.
"And this is his daughter, Zarina Rivadelo," bigla namang pagbabanggit ni Jace sa akin.
Nag-angat naman ako ng tingin at nakita kong nakatingin ng diretso sa akin si Jace bago ko inilipat ang mata ko sa babaeng katabi niya.
She smiled at me and offered her delicate hand. "Good evening, Zarina. It's nice to meet you," she greeted me.
And because I'm a good actress, I rose from my seat with a smile and accepted her hand.
"It's nice to meet you too, Engineer," sabi ko at hindi ko pa rin tinatantanan ng ngiti hanggang sa nagbitaw na ang aming kamay para umupo.
Our meal arrived after the short introduction among us. Tahimik lang ako at pinipigilan ang pagsulyap kina Jace at Engineer Isha na nag-uusap.
They looked so close to each other. Hindi ko mapigilan ang magselos ng todo lalo na't ngayon ko lang nakita si Jace na ganiyan kalapit sa babae. Mukhang komportable na sila sa isa't isa.
I don't want to be insecure with Engineer Isha but I am! I also want to be that close to Jace. Should I study Engineering or Architecture and be a part of his team, too?
"I invited her here because I want to work with her as my Engineer for the upcoming project," panimula ni Jace habang kumakain kami. "She is a very skilled Engineer, and they also have a resort in Davao. She will be a lot of help."
Napatigil naman ako sa pagkain at nag-angat ng tingin kay Jace while he is looking at my father.
Hindi na natigil ang pagkirot ng puso ko lalo na at nadagdagan pa ng mga papuri ni Jace para sa ibang babae.
What I'd give to receive even just a one word praise from him.
"Well, it's not my decision to make, Jace," sabi ni Daddy pagkatapos punasan ang kanyang bibig at pinagsalikop ang kanyang mga kamay. "Everything about this project will be under Zarina's decisions."
Nilingon naman ako ni Jace at tumama muli ang kanyang seryosong mata sa akin. Why can't he give me those gentle eyed that he is using when he looks at my father or at that Engineer Isha beside him?
"So what do you think?" he casually asked me.
"Okay lang sana pero... I already decided to make Bench the Engineer for this project. He is also fit for the duty. He's qualified for the project. I've seen his portfolios and he has a lot of credentials as an Engineer," sabi ko at pinantayan ang kanyang seryosong paninitig.
To be honest, I haven't decided anything yet. Hindi ko pa nakakausap si Bench patungkol sa pagiging Engineer para sa proyektong gagawin ko. But Jace triggered me to spat some lies. I might need to talk to Bench after this dinner.
"It'll be easier to work with someone who's a member of my team. There will be no conflict rather than working with someone whom I don't trust," Jace explained.
"I believe that you're professional, Jace. Para saan pang isa kang kilalang arkitekto, 'diba?" I can't help but to answer back. "And besides, you don't trust Bench? He is your friend."
If he doesn't want to work with Bench just because he wants to work with his girl, then I won't allow it.
"You clearly didn't get my point, Miss Rivadelo," his jaw clenched as he began to speak. "I always separate personal life and my work. If I trust Bench as my friend, it's different with I trust him as an Engineer. I'm not questioning his skills, but I'm telling you that my Engineer, right in front of you, is a very skilled one."
"I've already made my choice," giit ko naman.
"Then remove me from this project," he stated, seriously and my lips parted.
Nalaglag naman ang aking panga sa kanyang diretsong desisyon. Ni hindi man lang siya kumurap at nagdalawang isip!
"Jace, it's okay... I have a lot of projects on my hands anyway," agad namang pagpigil sa kanya ni Engineer Horan.
Hindi nagpatinag Jace sa sinabi ni Isha at nakatitig pa rin siya nang diretso sa akin na tila nanghahamon.
"You can just get them both, Zarina," my Dad suddenly suggested. "It will be better that way. Mas ma-eensure din ang safety ng construction ng water park. Engineer Horan here can help your Engineer friend."
Lumingon naman si Daddy kay Isha at ngumiti.
"Are you fine working with another Engineer?" Daddy asked her.
She smiled and graciously nodded her head. "Of course, Sir," she said. "It'll be more fun, I bet."
"Then it's all settled then! Right, Zarina?" Nilingon naman ako ni Daddy.
I bit my lower lip before I faced Engineer Horan with a smile. "I'll be looking forward, working with you," I managed to say with full confidence.