Date Written: September 2, 2017
Song of the chapter: 'Angel's Cry' by Mariah Carey
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*Alexandrielle's POV*
There's always a certain time of our life where we chase for something/someone. We kept running, feeling the wind brushing our face as the adrenaline and despair to reach that particular someone overtakes every purpose we have in our life. You see him straight ahead, just in front of you. All you have to do is run...
You did.
You ran after him. The sole goal is to reach him. You feel yourself run so fast that you even have a hard time believing you could actually run that fast.
Yet...
Instead of feeling yourself getting closer to your goal, you felt that goal move away from your reach the more you strive to reach it.
That's what I feel in the moment.
I ran throughout the mansion, feeling all energy and adrenaline light to awakening as my mind is only set to reach one goal...
To reach Zach.
But the more I ran, the more I feel like Zach is slipping away from my reach.
I ran so fast like I've never ran before. My feet carrying me through the threshold of the mansion, to where?
I have no idea where to go. My feet seem to have a mind on its own as it continues to dash around with my hands pushing off objects, dominants, and walls just to keep myself steadily running and don't fall.
I know I look like a mess. Running around with dried tears in my eyes is a sight I don't even care at the moment. All I care is reaching Zach before they could leave.
I know he told me to leave him, to forget about him but how could you forget your first love? They say it never dies and I'll fight to keep it alive.
Zach is the very first person who loved me not from what I am or what I can give, but he loved me for who I am. He accepted me as an equal yet I repayed him with my rot.
I just wish I could turn back time. I just wish I could've listened to him instead of just thinking about myself. I'm so selfish. He doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone else.
But why does every time I will myself to let him go, it makes me want to hold onto him tighter? Why does every time I realize that he deserves someone else, it makes me want to be that someone? Why does every time I think about him, I see US?
Why can't I just be selfless for once and let him go?!
Everything blurred around me and once again, my emotions have gone haywire. For the first time, my other side awakened and sensing my feelings and thoughts, she lends me her additional endurance and speed to reach Zach.
She has been so loyal to him that she respects each of his wishes even at the cost of her comfort.
I am again gripped by guilt seeing as how I did not just ruin Zach, the twins, Tyler, and the blonde...I also ruined my other side. I was so blinded of self preservation that I didn't tend to her needs and wishes. I pushed her away and shut her out every time she tries to coax me to listen to Zach's side of the story. I didn't listen to her! And now, she suffers the consequences of my actions and ignorance.
'I'm sorry' I reached out to her but she snapped at me with descended fangs. I withdrawed my hand in hurt as she regards me with such disappointment and pain. The action has me in a full blown cry, having my other side detaching from me and suffering my mistakes. There is nothing more painful than having your side snap at you.
I wiped the tears that's blurring my vision, having to crash in a wall at the process. The force has my elbows bruising but I welcomed the pain. Anything to keep me off the pain inside me. I'm really a coward; always running away from the pain.
My breathing turned to short puffs as I descended the stairs, praying to the goddess to just have a chance of at least an apology and goodbye to Zach.
I don't want our last talk and meeting to be the one we had in the underground basement. I don't want any last meeting at all! I want him in my life. I need him in my life!
If he really means what he said in the basement, then I at least want to have a last chance in knowing his condition and apologize. If he doesn't want me anymore, I'm fine with that. I just can't have him leaving me forever. It's fine if he doesn't want me as a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife...I just want to be in his life. I just want to have one last chance!
But do you deserve that chance?
I clenched my fists at that question, feeling so much dread when I saw Edmund close the door of Zach's limo in the window.
"No!" I shouted as I ran even faster. Pushing the golden double doors open, I ran to where the limo is as Edmund started it.
"Zach!" I called out as I try to chase after it. The limo started to move as I ran after it in the streets. My feet moved even faster as I push myself to my limit, not letting go of that one last chance to at least say goodbye.
"Edmund stop the car!" I called out but he looks like he doesn't hear me or even know me at all. "Edmund!" I screamed louder as the limo gained more distance.
Panting, I put all my remaining energy as I run even faster after the limo. Reaching my hand out, it took everything in me not to surrender at the pain as I stretch my body to the fullest just to grab the tail of the limo.
"Zach!" I called as I run even faster so that I am beside his window. "Zach please stop the car. I need to talk to you" I called out to him, ignoring the ringing in my ear as he just ignores me with a painful look on his face.
"Zach please!" I called out desperately as I feel myself losing my grip on the limo.
I panted even harder as I try to keep in pace with the limo, my strength slowly slipping away.
"Zach! Zach PLEASE!" I screamed out desperately, banging my slightly bloodied palms in his window. "Zach please I need to talk to you!!" I kept banging as my legs keep shaking with the exhaustion that's slowly sinking in.
"ZACH!" I called out one last time, reaching my limits as my heart constricted in pain. He said something to Edmund before the limo revved even faster and I cried helplessly as my grip on the limo slowly slipped away.
"Zach NO!!!" I cried out loud in pain as fell on my knees in the middle of the road. My legs and knees shaking and bleeding like my heart; watching the limo disappear in the distance as tear after tear drop in the paved road that only experiences the feeling of car tires, sun heat, and rain but never the pain of the tears.
I kept crying, screaming, calling out to him to come back...to listen to me.
But he's gone. He's not coming back anymore. He's in that limo I tried so hard to chase and stop, probably in the city right now. And probably, in his new future.
The thought has me crying even harder, crouched in the middle of the road even when rain starts pouring.
Looking up at the sad gray sky, I screamed; letting everyone out there know how broken I am...how hurt I am to the deepest part of my soul.
He's gone. He's really gone. And I never got the chance to talk to him one last time.
Is this how he felt with me? The need to talk, the need to explain everything only to be ran away from, to be ignored and shut out?
This is karma huh?
Chance, why are you so cruel to me?
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AN: *sniffles* 😢 No need to act strong. I really did cry in this chapter. 😢😢
How's it?
❤MA_011