Date Written: August 26, 2017
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*Alexandrielle's POV*
Feeling my breath getting stuck in my throat, I shot up off the bed gasping for air.
I flinched when I heard a loud thud from the left corner of the room and I scooted at the edge of the bed only to see Tyson rubbing his head with a grimace on his face.
If it weren't for my heart wrenching dream then I would've laughed my ass off at him but of course that won't happen.
"I didn't know waking up like that could throw me off the chair" he grumbled as he massaged his head. I know he intends it to be joking but I couldn't find it in me to find it humorous. The dream did really hit home. I mean, really. Having a vision of yourself in a home with a baby that is yours along with the guy you love in it but unfortunately, you can't have him anymore.
I still remember it clearly like the scenario just happened in front of my eyes at the very moment. Each suspense, emotion, feeling, and all the dread and confusion seems like it just happened just now. But what does the other scenario means? The first one is what I'm talking about. It's a wail. A wail of a baby dying a slow painful death. I just wish he couldn't have died in such pain. It would have been better if he just died instantly, at least it would be less painful. I should've done something!
Would you have ended the baby's life in your hands then?
My subconscious asked me that has me flinching with dread and fear. I wouldn't have but just remembering those painful wails has me itching to do something to end such suffering. But can I really kill a baby with my own hands?
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a rooster cawing - if that's even the right word. Although I don't think it's a rooster I'm hearing.
Looking at Tyson in front of me, my jaw dropped to the floor only to bounce back in. He stood in front of me with his right hand positioned that of a beak and his left hand as a wing. His right foot is bended and I don't need to be all Stiles Stillinski to figure out that he's imitating a human position of a rooster; if that cawing doesn't already made it obvious.
I gave him a weird look as he grins at me and gave me a dollar. I looked at the dollar then back at him, still looking at him weirdly. Has he lost a quarter of his brain or something?
"Penny for your thoughts?" He grinned at me as he straightened and crossed his arms freely over his chest.
"You do know the difference of a penny and an actual dollar right?" I questioned him and he shrugged. "What? If I want the dollar to be called penny then I can do so. Whoever that has a problem with my terms are free to be escorted by me to hell" he made a playfully threatening face that should've cheered me up or even crack a smile at me but it didn't.
Wasn't he suppose to be hating me? I mean, I'm the reason why Zach - their best friend - is always hurting and instead of making it better for him; I made it worse. Guilt and pain gripped me hard that has my eyes watering again. It also didn't help my dream that had my heartbeat accelerating.
Hearing him heavily sigh, I felt the bed dip as he sat in front of me. "I don't know what you're thinking and I'm not so good at guessing. But right now, I guess you're thinking about why I'm not hating you" he states a matter of factly as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. And he said he's not good at guessing...pfft!
I just nodded my head and he shakes his head sadly. "I really don't know anything about what really happened to the both of you but just know this, I WILL NOT HATE YOU EVER. Sure I'm disappointed and all but that's inevitable. What really is wrong with the both of you is, instead of staying together through thick and thin, you thought pushing each other away will protect the both of you; when in truth, you guys are pushing each other away from the real thing that is keeping you together strong. Instead of acknowledging your rare bond together, you denied it with just a misstep on each of your parts. You didn't try to see the bigger picture, all you did is preserve yourself from getting hurt; not caring of hurting those around you. I may not understand or know the extent of both of your pain in the past and maybe, I would've done the same you guys did but I know I could've managed it differently. I'm not judging you though, I'm just being honest with you" my mouth threatens drop to the floor and all he said is the truth. I never pegged Tyson to be someone good at...advising nor have I ever think of him as someone who can point out our flaw and understands them. I again asked myself, has he lost a quarter of his brain or something? Or maybe it increased its size that allows him to think maturely than normal. I'm starting to freak out here.
Growling playfully at me, he closed my gaping mouth at him. "I wasn't poisoned nor enchanted so please stop the gawking. I know I acted maturely than usual but hey! You don't fully know me!" He exclaimed that threatens a smile to my face.
I watched him frown in deep worry for me. "Are you alright? My remarks should've cheered you up already." He said worriedly as he inspected me of anything bad that might've happened.
Flashes of the dying baby has my heart wrenching painfully again as Tyson took a sniff out of me.
"Why do you smell like this?" He asked me as he leaned even closer to inspect me. My heart beat increased its pace even more as a growl emitted from Tyson's chest.
"S-smell l-like what?" I shakily asked; cursing at how weak I sounded.
"Like pain and fear" his eyes flashed dangerously as he looked around the room. Getting up, he stomped his way to the window and took a sniff, inspected every corner of it before walking around the room. He smelled every part, every dark corner where danger might be lurking; even the bathroom.
"What happened?" He asked me as I shook my head, only realizing that I'm in my own room in the Dominant's Mansion.
"Don't you dare shake that head of yours like it's nothing!" He growled my way that has me staring at him wide eyed at the warning he threw.
As if realizing it, he took a deep breath in before calming his self down. "You know you don't have to keep your guard up around us, especially me. Alexandrielle, I'm not your enemy here. I just want to help you but how can I if you won't let me?" He told me in such a comforting tone that has my resolve threatening to break down.
I was so tempted to just tell him but just remembering how I dragged them all to my mess and even hurt them; it stopped me. I reminded myself how I've ruined them and it was enough to keep my tongue to myself. What will benefit them with that information anyway?
Smiling at him reassuringly, he gave me a weird look. Before he could even open his mouth to talk, I already stood with a little sway.
"I'm fine. Just a bad dream" I smiled at him as I refrain myself from asking if Zach is OK.
"Don't feel anything for me. Erase me of my presence in your life. Shut me out."
His words rang around my head that has me fighting hard to control my emotions. I managed to leave the room as the first three drops of tears flowed out.
Shutting the door behind me, I bit my knuckles hard as I tried so hard to reign in the sob that's so tempting to let out.
Breathing out a heavily painful breath, I walked to the living room that has my nose smelling Zach's blood in the air. Tightly closing my eyes, I stumbled into a door on the right side that actually leads to a kitchen.
Looking back at the living room with a longing look, I closed the door and proceeded to serve myself a glass of water in hopes of calming my raging emotions down.
I didn't know what just happened. All I remember is drinking glass after glass of water and the next, I'm on the ground with a seething blonde girl in front of me with a murderous look.
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AN: Oopsie! Cliffhanger? Hehe my bad. Anyway, can I ask you guys a question? (I already did) What would you guys feel if you participated in contest and you know deep in yourself that you are the one deserving of that place and not your opponents who couldn't even memorize their fucking line? Yup that's what I feel at the moment. I mean really! My line is all perfectly memorized along with the voice quality and neatness and the judges chose those who even have to pause for a long moment because they can't memorize their lines! Aaargh! Whip please...
Enough of my drama. Anyway, want to know something about my silliness?
No? I want to tell anyway. OK so...you see, there are these puppies that me and my cousin is planning on adopting. I chose the girl puppy with shiny black fur and a white star on its forehead while my cousin chose the other similar one, except, the puppy is a guy and the star on its forehead is colored brown. The silly part is, the said puppies love to come to our house. The owner of the mother of the puppies are my aunt and they're my neighbors so...
Anyway, everytime I call my puppy, both of them comes due to the fact that they don't have names. I called mine as Allison and have no idea of my cousin's because he doesn't want to give it a name. Silly me, I called it "Gimboy" thus my cousin's nickname that has him calling my puppy "Papot" ugh that childish nickname of mine. I don't know if that's quite funny but....
Anyeong! Till the next update my puppies-I mean chocolates ;)
-MA_011