New York
Two months later
"What's the deal with you and Hailey?" I asked adjusting the phone in front of my face as i FaceTimed Justin
He chuckled "nothing? What are you talking about Mia? She's my new friend"
He was in the car, as far as I can see he was in the backseat
"You seriously can't see that she has a total crush on you?" I asked looking at the TV then back at my phone
He scrunched up his nose "what? No way"
"J how can someone as smart and perceptive as you not realize that the person sitting right in front of you is in love with you?" I yelled bringing the blanket closer to my body
He looked down and blushed "oh Mia, trust me, i guarantee you I'm not the only person to make that mistake"
"What is that supposed to mean?" I scoffed
He looked up at the camera again before shrugging "never mind. Uh look! I gotta go I'll talk to you soon okay?"
I frowned "yeah okay. Love you" I said blowing him a kiss through the phone causing him to smile and mumble an i love you too before hanging up
It was now the middle of November, the streets were lifeless, people were cooped up inside their homes as the weather worsened. It was raining so hard, the amount of puddles outside increased as the rain showed no signs in halting.
Inside, the lights were radiant and the warmth was pleasantly welcoming. I was curled up on my couch in my new house listening to the sound of the rain falling and hitting my windows with blankets doubled up around my body as I kept my eyes glued to the TV, the thunder roaring and the lightning lighting up the night sky caused me to look at the window to see the rain droplets slide down the glass window, waiting to see which one would reach the bottom first, I still don't understand the world... like it could be sunny in the morning and when the night comes it pours rain like there's no tomorrow.
I moved around and brought the blankets closer to me, feeling shivers trickle down the length of my spine when the newly formed warmth crept under my skin. An involuntary smile broke out onto my face as i drank my tea
I moved out of my old apartment and to this new house just last month, I didn't want to be there, to be reminded of my past and I thought it'd be good to start a new life all over again.
I'm still single and I'm not planning on being with someone even though it's almost been three months but I guess I'm not ready to commit to someone, to give my all to someone only to get hurt at the end. I went on a couple of dates here and there during these months, with Trey and Zayn and some other people but I didn't take it too far. I only did it to move on and as far as I know it's working because I haven't thought about him at all thanks to Justin who took me on countless vacations and for my parents who'd always remind me how much I deserve to be happy and Justine and Jake who stayed by my side every single time i needed someone and should I mention Miranda? She did drown me in countless hours of work daily but it kept me busy and from thinking about Ethan.
A couple of knocks on the door interrupted me. I let out a sigh of exasperation, the covers flew off of my body and i stepped away from the warm couch and on my feet. I placed the cup on the coffee table. The feeling of the sharp, cool air hit my body instantly and i had to force myself towards the door before i ended up turning back and clambering back under the covers again. Once the door was open, the cold invited itself in and settled in all corners of the house.
Justin stood in front of me. His breath left his mouth visibly, puffs of air swirled in between us both. His chest heaved up and down rapidly and his body shook and quivered, my eyes scanned his appearance. His hair fell against his forehead, completely wet. The rain held it together in clumps and it waved in front of his eyes. The hoodie he wore was damp and crinkled.
"I have to tell you something." Water dropped onto his bottom lip, he didn't seem to notice; he didn't react. His breath was trembling.
"What are you doing here Jay? Get inside. Why didn't you tell me you were coming to New York I would've come to get you" My head shook involuntarily in confusion, my eyebrows furrowed deeply as i took in his state.
In that moment, seeing him tremble caused my heart to drop. He shakily took his hand and pressed it against the door frame to support himself, his other hand ran through the length of his hair, tugging on the end of it.
"Not until you hear me out." The words left his mouth so quickly, "I can't do this anymore i need to tell you something"
"Justin stop this nonsense right now. Come inside you'll get sick" I begged grabbing his hand and tried to pull him in but he refused "are you drunk?" I asked in disbelief
It didn't look like he was drunk, plus i was just talking to him on the phone I would've noticed it if he actually was.
He shook his head "I'm sober since three months I promise you, just please- hear me out" he said his eyes scanned my face as they drowned in tears that threatened to fall, specks of water already covered his cheeks, so i wouldn't have been able to tell if they were tears or just the rain.
I nodded "okay talk I'm listening" I said
"I know this may sound crazy to you and i know this may ruin our friendship forever but Mia i am so deeply in love with you, you're so all over my head— ugh you can make me lose my mind in less than a second. I would do anything for you, and that scares me the most. I am so scared it's pathetic. Fuck— I never thought i would love anyone so much, it terrifies me. You hold my everything in your hands, my heart," he said placing my hand on his chest "my soul, my life and I'm always so scared that one wrong word or move and i will be shuttered, broken, left in pieces. I've been keeping this from you for years Mia. You have no idea how much it hurts me watching you with other men. First with Ethan, then Zayn and Trey"
My heart started racing
He's in love with me? All this time and I didn't know it.
Oh Mia, trust me, i guarantee you I'm not the only person to make that mistake.
He's been in love with me and I didn't know it.
I thought about it but every time I confronted him he said no. Why?
"Say something please"
"Why?" I heard myself ask as I trailed my hand from his chest to his cheek "why didn't you tell me before?"
The past couple of months he grew on me. He's been by my side since forever, he always shows me love and affection I don't know if i have feelings for him or not, i love him but not in that way... I can't lie to myself and say that I haven't thought about this! I do have feelings for him, i like him but I simply don't think i love him like that, he's my best friend.
"Because I didn't wanna lose you," he mumbled
"Justin I don't think— i can't think straight right now this is unexpected and I don't know how I'm feeling I'm sorry you probably didn't expect this to go this way I'm sorry—"
"i know you may not feel the same way i do but i— I just– I understand I just wanted to let you know. I'll give you time to think" he said grabbing my hand and removed it from his face then let it fall to my side
He turned on his feet, pausing for only a moment as though deciding if he should stay or go. But he turned and walked heavily down the two steps.
I observed him. I found myself calling out. "Justin, wait." I disowned the comfort and warmth of my house to run down the steps and join him in the pouring rain.
He turned around and i, without thinking, wrapped my arm around his neck while my other hand cupped his cheek and I smashed my lips on his with all the force I had. He moaned against my lips, due to surprise? Pleasure? I didn't know. I tilted my head to get better access to his mouth, while he invaded my mouth with his tongue without my permission and I moaned at the contact. His tongue was dominating mine and I let him, happily. We both were breathing heavily through our noses and I tugged on his shirt, finding it extremely annoying because it was getting in my way to feel him i felt myself cry so i pulled away, only a little.
Our eyes were gazing deep into each other's. The tension was at its peak, almost suffocating me. Our lips so close, the littlest movement could make them touch again. My hand softly caressed the little hairs on the back of his neck, making his eyes flutter for a quick second. His hands bringing my hips closer to his "please, don't leave" I muttered as my tears stormed down my cheeks
"Fuck! Why are you crying?" He asked wiping my cheeks with his thumbs
I didn't think he'd tell if i was crying because the rain was coming down on us.
I sniffed as i choked out "I don't know"
He placed his hand on the back of my head and brought it to the crook of his neck "don't cry baby. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere" he said barely a whisper since the rain blocked out most of his speech
"I don't want you to assume that I have no feelings towards you cuz i do I really really really do but I just don't know if it's love I don't want you to think that you lost me" I pulled away from his neck and said
He nodded "I understand Mia, totally... I just don't want you to think that I'm pressuring you to feel anything for me"
The rain strengthened and a heavy crash of thunder emitted from the sky that turned darker by the second. I heard cars humming slowly in the distance and I shivered "do you– will you please come inside?" I asked looking at him
He half nodded and wrapped his arm around me as we walked towards the stairs of my house and inside
• • •
Justin's Point Of View
I turned my head and looked at Mia, who was sitting beside me on the sofa; she held her knees close to her chest with her feet up on the couch, her eyes focused on the television.
She was dressed in one of my hoodies and a pair of black leggings while her long blonde hair was tied up. I have never in my entire life seen anyone so beautiful
She's the best person I've ever known, I never thought I would have someone in my life who cares about me the way she does, she keeps me grounded, she keeps me happy. The way she makes me feel I've never felt with someone else, even with Selena. It wasn't like this. Never. It's like she has this certain glow about her, the way she smiles, and the way she laughs at the dumbest things... it brings a smile on my face. Her eyes light up and sparkle every time I see her; she never fails to take my breath away.
There's something about her that makes me wanna do better, be better. Her selfless soul makes me love her so much, the way she could never judge anyone makes me love her, but mostly the way she never gives up on who she loves makes me love her even more. She's helped me get through everything i was going through during the last two years.
I want her to be mine. I wanna be able to call her my girl, to wake up with her in my arms every morning, to be so close to her. I love her. I adore her. I'd kill for her.
I looked at her, admiring every little detail. After a few minutes she must have noticed me staring at her like a fool. She turned her head and looked at me and gave me a confused little grin. "Stop staring at me" she whined
"You're just so beautiful" I explained causing her cheeks to slowly flush; she lowered her head with a little smile stretched across her lips. She always gets like this whenever I compliment her, it shows me that she doesn't quite realize just how beautiful she is, and to me that makes her even more beautiful.
"Stop" she whined again like a baby while covering her face with her hands. "Stop covering your face" i said
But she blushed even more and covered it again. Shuffling my body closer to her, I hovered over her and began tickling her sides. She fell back onto the couch and began laughing hysterically.
"Justin stop it" she screamed through her laughter. I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she was. She continued laughing breathlessly as she begged for me to stop. Her laugh echoed through the living room and warmed my heart.
"Justin please stop oh my god" she screamed and begged for me again. "Will you stop covering your face when I compliment you?" I asked smirking. She kept laughing and screaming while trying to catch her breath. Finally she gave in. "Okay okay I won't do it again. I promise" she yelled in between her contagious sweet laughter. My heart fluttered at the sound of it.
"Aw" I finally stopped tickling her and sat myself back down on the sofa beside her. She laid on her back against the couch with her hand on her stomach while trying to catch her breath. After a few minutes she sat up next to me. I looked at her and smiled. She playfully slapped my chest while giggling. "You're such a dumbass sometimes you know" she joked.
I chuckled "you love me though"
She looked at me for a few seconds and smiled looking at her lap "i do, don't i?" She asked fumbling with the sleeves of her hoodie
Does she?
She shuffled her body closer to mine and rested her head on my shoulder. I smiled down at her and rested my head on top of hers as we both focused on the movie that's playing. "Do you wanna cuddle?" I asked
She nodded and in a heartbeat i was lying on the couch with my head against the arm; while Mia was lying on top of me with her head on my chest. I had my arms wrapped her body protectively, gently running my fingertips along the skin on her back, leaving goosebumps.
The credits rolled up on the TV screen. I looked down at Mia and saw she was fast asleep in my arms, a huge smile stretched across my lips. I loved having moments like this with her, just having her in my arms and feeling her heartbeat against mine. But this time it wasn't the same. This time she knew I love her.
My phone rang causing me to move my arm forward towards the coffee table to grab it without disturbing Mia
From Za: did u tell her? 👀
I smiled
To Za: yeah... it's complicated I'll explain later
From Za: ??? What happened
She has feelings for me she just doesn't know if its love or not
Well that's better than nothing right?
Yup don't tell anyone we haven't decided on what to do...Gtg ttyl
She stirred in my arms and her eyes fluttered open, she looked up at me and half smiled "hey you" I mumbled, she let out a yawn and lifted her head off of my chest and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand "I'm sorry for falling asleep"
"Don't worry about it" I commented
She sat up, her legs on each side of my torso, I pulled on the hem of the hoodie she was wearing making her lay on top of me. She scoffed whining "stop"
I looked at her plumped lips then at her eyes that were watching mine as they moved down to her lips again, she sat up a little bit and let her hand slide under my hoodie, traveling down my defined abs stopping at my happy trail making my breath hitch. Her eyes never left mine and it was starting to turn me on even though we haven't done anything yet.
"Mia" I tried to say as I kept my eyes on hers.
She hummed touching the hem of my sweatpants, with no emotion on her face. I couldn't read her expression. I didn't know what she was thinking about
"Don't start anything I won't be able to stop" I said grabbing her hand to stop it from trailing on my skin
She smirked lowering herself so her lips were next to my ear "who said I want you to stop anything?" She whispered, shortly nibbling on my earlobe afterwards.
I turned her cheek and roughly attached my lips to hers causing her to moan, she grabbed my hand and brought it to grip her neck. I moaned squeezing it a little bit before finally letting go.
Kinky
I lightly bit on her bottom lip before letting my tongue intertwine with hers as i let my hands wander the skin underneath her hoodie making her slightly shiver
She started to slowly grind her lower half against my crotch, I moved my kisses to her neck. My hands grabbed her ass squeezing them as i sat up, she pulled at my hoodie and took it off with no problem "Jay" she moaned kissing and nibbling on my neck
All of a sudden the TV got turned off and the room became pitch black. We couldn't see anything even through the windows, the lights outside were off as well; meaning that the power is out.
"What the fuck?" She said grabbing my arm tightly "it's okay Mia it's okay, calm down" I said moving my hand toward the table to search for my phone "don't leave me alone you know how much I'm scared of being alone in the dark" she said. I could feel her panicking "I'm not going anywhere babe. I'm looking for my phone it should be right here... just close your eyes and pretend as if you're sleeping" I grabbed my phone and clicked on the home button, it lit up. I looked at Mia who had her eyes widened in fear as she squeezed my arm "relax, it's probably because of the lightening. Do you have candles in here?"
She nodded "in the kitchen" she mumbled
"Okay do you wanna wait h—"
"No I'm coming with you" she quickly said cutting me off as she got on her feet and grabbed her phone from the end of the couch and turned the flash on. I slipped my hoodie through my head and grabbed her hand as she walked to the kitchen
She opened the third drawer and took out a bunch of candles and a lighter before she started lighting each one of them. I grabbed two of them and walked to the living room and placed them on the coffee table, before going back to the kitchen and put two more next to the TV while Mia put the last two next to the ones i put on the table.
"Better?" I asked her, she looked at me and nodded smiling a little bit. I smiled and wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her forehead "are you cold? Do you have any chopped wood? Should I start a fire?"
She shook her head "I'm okay Justin don't worry" she whispered pulling me to the couch, she grabbed one blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders before she rested her head on my thigh and covered herself with the other one "sing me Change Me please" she pleaded looking up at me
I smiled "you wanna sleep?"
She nodded softly saying nothing
"Then lets cuddle again we'll keep each other warm don't you think?"
She nodded sitting up with a small smile on her face, we both laid down on the couch cuddled up against one another covering the both of us as I started singing Change me, Mia slowly drifted off to sleep and I placed a soft kiss against her lips
"I love you" I mumbled closing my eyes
• • •
11:24 AM
I woke up from the sound of crunching that was being made by Mia who was eating an apple on the couch next to me while she was watching TV with no sound
I groaned rubbing my eyes and stretched my arms out causing her to look at me "hey sleepyhead" she said grinning
I smiled a toothless smile tiredly "hey early birdy"
She came and kneeled down in front of me "we need to talk"
My heart literally jumped out of my chest. "Talk?"
She nodded "about what happened last night... about us"
I sat up nodding "okay. Um sure... Lets talk"
She sat down next to my legs and cleared her throat "okay so, I thought about it this morning and i think I might give it a try" she said
"Like dating?"
She hummed "yeah... like going on dates and stuff but..."
"But what?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows
"We'll still see other people just because I don't want people to think we're together because we're not"
"Why? I wanna be able to call you mine and only mine. I don't like sharing you with other people. I don't like seeing you with other men as well"
"Well... I don't wanna move too fast Justin. I know you we've been best friends since forever fuck I won't hesitate to get engaged tomorrow if I was certain of my feelings for you because I truly trust you but don't rush into things okay?" She asked
She'd get engaged with me with no hesitation if she knew she loved me?
"Do you mind seeing me with girls?" She asked again
"No? Why would i?"
"Because you may or may not like this but I'm seeing someone" she said fumbling with her fingers "it's nothing serious we're just going out and—"
"Who? Do I know him?" I found myself asking as I felt anguish buildup inside of me
She scoffed looking around the room like she's messed something up before nodding "well yes you've met... but um... it's actually a girl" she hesitantly said as she played with her thumbs
I looked at her with wide eyes "what?"
"It's Chelsea... remember her? From the photoshoot?" She replied
I let out a laugh "of course..."
"So you can still see other girls... or boys...? I mean whatever you like and we'll still go on dates" she mumbled "you just have so much attention on you and you know how private i am. I don't like being followed or any of that... this way they won't think we're dating AND I don't want anyone to know about us. Not even our families or friends" she said in a serious tone
Well Za already knows but I told him not to tell anyone... but she doesn't necessarily need to know that, right?
"Okay fine" I said "what happens after we date?"
"I guess we'll have to see for ourselves... but again we must not show to anyone that we're dating"
I nodded "i got it Mia"
She grinned standing up "okay then c'mon get up. I feel like going to somewhere sunny" she said
"In New York?" I asked confused
"No dumbass. Away from here. Lets make breakfast and then we'll see what to do"
"Whatever you want Mia" I said standing up from the couch and walked to the bathroom to freshen up
Once i was done i made my way out and to the kitchen where Mia was already cutting up some fruits and vegetables and i shook my head. If she's gonna turn me into a vegetarian I'm gonna kill myself.
But it's not like she forces me to only eat what she makes. She's always saying I should eat healthy food and that I should keep drinking water but I never do. Mom says so as well, so whenever she finds out I'm hanging out with Mia she immediately calls her and tells her to make sure i eat what she makes.
• • •
Well well well. What do you guys think? He finally told her about his feelings
Do you think Mia will fall for him easily or she'll end up breaking his heart like she broke zayns and tremaines?