Whether it's in an action-packed bring-to-justice horror-mystery or in a feminine girl-drama novel, who doesn't like a bit of romance in the mix? That is, only if it's well-developed, and well-written romance. Let's face it, I've read stories with "romance" in the selected genre, and it didn't feel like a romance, or even remotely romantic to me. Two characters meet, it's love at first sight and they act as if they've known each other for years. They kiss, end up in bed immediately upon that first kiss, and then they get married to live happily ever after. When, in real life, has that ever happened with positive consequences?
Yes, writing stories are supposed to be fictional, so a few instances of unrealism is bound to be in the story, but do people want to read a rushed-love where there are no conflicts, yelling matches, or questions of doubt? I certainly don't.
Unfortunately, even though most stories aren't as bad as that, the romance genre (in the amateur world at least) is taking hits, and lots of them, for three main reasons: (1) the characters come off as underdeveloped, in other words, a Mary-Sue, (2) the plots are clichéd, and (3) the appearance of sex scenes.
Starting with the characters, I've already written a guide on how to make a character and develop them, but because of the romance theme, I have to add something just to quickly clear it up. For the fan fiction writers and fan fiction readers, not all OCs who are paired up with a canon character, or even more than one character, are Mary-Sues. If you've read my other guides, you'll probably have figured out the Mary-Sues come from things deeper than looks or plot devices. If someone decides to pair up an OC with a canon, that is what they want to write. Other people enjoy reading them too, so there isn't a lack of an audience to worry about. As long as there are no false advertisements, or a lack of information on the pairing, there is no reason for a comment full of bashing toward the author, the character, or the story simply because you don't like OC and canon pairings at all. It's not as if you paid money to read it.
For the original storywriters and readers, not all of the main characters, of either gender, which happens to get the person they want, or end up in multiple relationships (maybe at the same time) during the entire story are Mary-Sues either.
In order to determine Sueism, there needs to be an analytical thought process of multiple factors besides the characters themselves along with the plot. If it was just those two, I can safely say that all of the books I've ever read probably had Mary-Sues as main characters. The universe, writing style, the use of the Hero Cycle also come into play along with other smaller factors, but that's for another guide.
Romance, in general, means that there is going to be a developing romantic bond between two or more characters. There doesn't have to be any kissing, sex, or even any "I love you" talk for a story to have a romantic factor. The feelings, action and reactions are enough of an assertion that there are strong feelings in the air. Those feelings don't necessarily have to be returned with an ironclad hand of commitment either, however I think for the story to positively have a romance tag on it, the feelings have to be returned in some form, whether it's for pure or impure purposes is all up to what you want to write.
So even though there is a wide range of what is considered "romance" a ton of people complain about over-used plots. Do not worry about writing with a clichéd plot. Don't even worry about being original. Just write what you want, and write it to the best of your ability. If you try too hard, your story will end up bland whether it's a clichéd or original. Meyers spun the vampire thread and ended up with some original ideas, but wasn't written well because she was so focused on Bella and Edward, trying so hard to keep the tension and angst that she forgot about the other aspects of a good story.
Besides, tons of people still like cliché romances, including me. Just as I've stated in my other Mary-Sue guides, as long as there is character and plot development, the language fit the characters, and clear explanations pertaining to the plot and emotions, then it should be fine. Let me talk about the over-used plots anyway, and give you some tips. They aren't necessarily restraining, but, if anything, it'll give you more material to think about. I have a couple categories with multiple plots, but for the sake of simplicity, I'll name them by the pairing of characters or the scenario. Each scenario will bring up something different, but it will probably be best if you keep all scenarios in mind even when you're only writing about one.
Forbidden Fruits
Best Friends/Roommates
The first on my Forbidden Fruits category are the Best Friends, or Roommates. Why is this considered 'Forbidden Fruit'? It's simply because in most mindsets of the stories I've read, the character cannot fall in love with his or her best friend or roommate. It isn't supposed to happen, or is wrong to have these feelings for this person, opposite gender or not. Moreover, when they do accept these feelings, they are afraid of telling the person because they don't want to ruin what they already have a close, or at least a mutual in trusting, friendship.
This has been written many times, and it has been written so many times that I've seen people claim that it doesn't happen. Let me clear that up right now: all of these love stories, with all of these different pairings of people, have happened before, and will continue to happen. It's not just the Best Friends plot, it's all of the plots I will be talking about, plus more. So if you say that it's unrealistic, or that it's never happened happily, it's most likely because you haven't experienced that kind of love before or seen it (whether due to personal experience, friends, or in the media).
I have fallen in love with my best friend (not to mention that she's also a woman, but I digress), and I was in high school. Just because teenagers are young, doesn't mean that they can't feel actual love. What makes teenagers so different from adults is that teenagers sometimes set too high of an expectation, and when they are let down, they don't know how to handle an emotional pain. Therefore, a rejection can feel like a death sentence to some, especially if they've never actually been hurt before. After the first few hurts, they'll learn how to deal with pain in some way, from starting a new hobby to trying drugs and alcohol.
There isn't much advice I can give you for this kind of story; the only complaint is that it's over-used, but you don't have to worry about it. If the characters are teenagers, make them go through major emotional pains, and if the characters are adults with jobs, and college, along with other stress factors, nothing beats some sexual tension. Even if you don't plan on writing any sex scenes, it would probably be helpful to read the section about how to write sex scenes below, but, for now, let's move on to the next pairing.
Adultery
It's strange that the only complaint I've found on this scenario is that people somehow believe that spouses can't fall in love with another person besides who they are married to. Well, guess what? It happens. Whether the spouse is a cheater or not, it happens, but it's usually when there is something wrong or missing from the marriage. If I came home to frequent arguments, I would be looking for someone else too, to talk with.
For those that say that people, shouldn't be going after married men or women, well they shouldn't, but if the marriage is having problems, is that really going to be a topic of discussion? It's easy to miss the wedding band even if someone wears it at it's appropriate place, but what if during doubt, the spouse takes off the ring and puts it in their pocket? There's no way a person would be able to tell if the person is already married.
Of those that do find out, has the third wheel already fallen in love so much that they would be willing to fight for the one who's married? It shouldn't be too hard especially if the marriage is already starting to have holes. There are a few ways how this could end, and that's for you to find out through reading stories, but if you do plan on writing this scenario there is a few things to think about.
Decide if you want the marriage to have problems, whether it's major or minor. I've already described what could happen when there is a problem, but it can happen when there isn't a clear problem either. The husband and wife could be very happy, but one of them is unsatisfied because they just simply like having more than one partner, so either because they're too afraid to ask, or they know their spouse wouldn't agree to it, so goes exploring on their own to have sex, thoroughly cheating in secret. The person still loves his or her spouse with a full heart, but likes having flings on the side. Eventually the other spouse could suspect what's been going on, and either refuse to believe it and secretly feel depressed, or confront their spouse about it, probably arousing arguments. If the spouse ends up feeling depressed, they could also be subject to cheating if they found someone they begin to like.
After deciding whether the marriage will have conflicts or not, well, it's really your story. Adultery in a story could go a thousand ways. The spouses can stick together and get marriage counseling, they could live off cheating on each other, and I could go on. I've said all that I want to say about this.
Teacher and Student, Master and Pupil
I absolutely adore reading these kinds of stories. It's probably why I haven't stopped reading the Vampire Academy series as of yet, or that I hung on The House of Night series until after the teacher died. Even though I love the thought of loving the person you admire because of their strength, knowledge, wisdom and the likes, I can admit when things have gone too far, or isn't explained.
The biggest complaint is the pairing choice, that it "doesn't happen", but alas, like I've said before, it has, and continues, to happen. The second complaint is if there is sex in it, and if there is, that the characters "could have waited." Well, part of the tension is going to be sexual, with or without sex, and even though it's illegal, has that ever stopped real teachers having sex with their students? Those that were caught were labeled as sex offenders, yes, but what of those that haven't been caught? What would there lives continue to be like? So having sex can be a probable factor depending on who the characters are, how they normally behave, the risks, and if the student (normally) seems emotionally committed enough to want to have sex. In addition, in some countries, or at least in some states in the U.S.A., it's legal to marry your teacher as long as the parental consent forms are filled out, according to an article I read online less than a year ago. As for having sex after that, I don't know.
Aside from being caught, each character should have their own dilemma to deal with. Actually, I can give this advice with all of the pairings, so keep this in mind, period. With most romance stories, there is an internal problem between the two love-interests, and an external problem away from each other. For example, the characters could be contemplating on having sex, even arguing about it, while the student's ex keeps begging to come back, and the teacher has a debt to pay to the mafia. They have a problem together, and they have a problem separate from the relationship.
Specific to this type of pairing, think about the law. Even if the student graduates, or if the teacher suddenly gets fired, and if they just kiss in front of everybody, there will still be an investigation for any prior secret meetings. If you decide to have their secret be kept until it's safe, at least wait a couple weeks, or a month. Parents, or at least most parents, wouldn't just accept it either. If they find out, whether the teacher makes the student happy or not, they would most likely report it to the police; however if the parents care about image, they might keep it quiet, threaten the teacher, and monitor their child more closely, move away, or just beat or kill the teacher. Sometimes, being arrested is less shameful than having people find out about their child's secret relationship.
If the public finds out the relationship, and after the investigation, court, etc., how will people treat the teacher and student? If the student is male, his bros might pat his back for "tapping that"; however, if the student is female, people might call her a whore or a slut, even if there was proof of no sexual misconduct. The teacher wouldn't be able to teach again, he or she would probably have to register in a sex offender list and introduce themselves to their neighbors as a sex offender. The teacher would be shunned, possibly for life. If there was a crime targeting little children, even though the "sexual misconduct" was towards an older teenager, the teacher would be on top of the suspect list.
Obviously, I have a lot to say about this, but you get the gist of what I'm trying to say. If it's illegal, there will be a ton more problems along with the romance.
Homosexuality
Unbelievably, there are some countries where it is illegal, or dangerous, to recognize yourself as a homosexual or any other sexuality other than heterosexual. In Africa alone, there are quite a few countries where being a homosexual can literally mean the death penalty, while other countries can have a person deemed a homosexual, or engaging in sexual acts with the same gender, can send the person to prison for about ten years. There are only a few countries in Africa where they have laws protecting LGBT people, and only one country, South Africa, where they legalized same-sex marriages as equal unions to heterosexual marriages. However, even South Africa can be dangerous.
Men" taught" lesbians how to be a woman by raping them, or were beaten and even killed. In late 2011, there had been a series of murders targeting gay men, and the police didn't do anything about it, say it wasn't a doing of possibly one or more killers. They didn't acknowledge it as a serious crime. It's still going on even in 2012, and the police are still ignoring it.
Even in the seemingly safest of places where any sort of violence is a crime, violent discrimination still happens. Does that mean the homosexual characters need to be beaten to seem more realistic in fiction? No, you don't need to go that far if you don't want to. Just know the area, the culture, laws, other minor characters, and the main characters. Aside those, treat the story as you would any other hetero-romance, although the type of drama might be different.
Polygamy
I haven't read even one of these types of romances, but I want to. Unfortunately, people have the wrong idea about polygamy because they can only think about what other cultures do, or the harm polygamy can possibly lead to. In a few other cultures during history, it was legal to have polygamy, but it was mostly in the form of a man marrying multiple wives. Back then, it was legal to forcibly marry them, and rape them. Some cultures may still have that, and probably in that form, but that's their business; I'm talking about Northern American type of culture, where it's promptly illegal, though not as regularly enforced. It isn't always pimping, slavery, a strange fetish, a door for kinky sex, for religion, or even about adultery. Yes, it could some of those, for those rare occasions, especially when all of the parties aren't consenting adults, but it's more than what most people give credit to what it could be.
For it to be actual love, or a true romantic situation, it's basically when two people have more than enough love to give to another persons, and wish to be in an equal, loving relationship between all members while the third (or more) party give consent and also want to give and receive that kind of love. As long as all of the parties are consenting adults, it's fine. If teenagers want to try it out for themselves, or if a teenager wants to be a part of a family with adults, that's different, but will make for a good story all the same if you play your cards right.
As with all things illegal, the people have to keep it a secret. Even though in most places, in the U.S. at least, it isn't regularly enforced. If the characters are caught (usually due to having been caught in something else), the law will tack polygamy on to the list of charges and the people will have to serve more time. In addition, if they are caught, people will most likely treat them differently. If a minor is involved, there will be "sexual misconduct with a minor" situation, and names will be added to the sex offender list, in addition to who knows what.
If the story takes place in another country, legal or not, research the public's attitude toward the relationship. Other than those aspects, there isn't much I can say. I've never read any for myself, so I don't know what people have tried to do with it besides the story not having any major internal or external conflicts.
Incest
My morals aren't the same as most other people's, because I personally don't see anything wrong with this as long as all participants are consenting adults, but I know that just because I would accept it, doesn't mean that other people would. Automatically, people will think of a parent molesting their thirteen-year-olds, or sisters and cousins giving birth to deformed children, or even think that incest only happens to redneck hicks, but that's mainly because of the media focusing on the negativity. Whether it's legal, shunned, or illegal, past or present, it happens.
Let's just scratch out all the rape and molestation talk, and first assume that both parties are consenting in forming a romantic bond. Whether it's cousins or siblings, falling in love won't just happen when the other is born. Like with all love, it will take time, and with all the threats and legal issues, it might take more time than a "normal" relationship would to form. If they are under aged teenagers, they may have sex secretly, or wait either until they are both adults, or until they move to another state away from their family and friends to commit to their relationship. Even if they are consenting adults, they may have to move anyway to commit fully to their relationship without their family knowing.
As for the "deformed babies" talk; it's true, but only due to if both parties are carriers of the deformity. It would be the same if two people unrelated to the fiftieth generation carried the same deformity. The negative stigma about genetic deformity has most likely been totally exaggerated due to focusing on those few cases. I had trouble finding hard statistics about this, probably because people won't admit it because it's illegal, so I don't know how high (or how low) the statistics are on genetic mutated infants reproduced due to closely related family members. I don't trust Wikipedia as far as I can spit either.
Even so, there are women who, without the consummation of incest, reproduce offspring with genetic defects, so does that mean that she shouldn't keep trying, or love her child? What about stepsiblings? Even though they aren't blood related, that relationship would still be frowned upon. Less than two hundred years ago, it was legal to marry your first cousin. What changed? They realized then that they shared genetics, so why make a law only recently? Of course, keep in mind, even some states of the US perfectly allow first cousin marriages, so look up where, and to what extent, incest is legal or illegal.
If you're going to write a story involving incest, think about what kinds of ramifications this kind of relationship can follow. Take careful note of the character development, along with the romantic development. Just be careful, overall. Like I said, most people automatically think it's disgusting, but there are some who would like to read these kinds of stories, so don't worry. It's more of a public morale image people are trying to keep.
Over-Used Plot Devices
Unlike the Forbidden Fruits section, the rest are just other kinds of romances that people like writing, and readers are only annoyed by the shear quantity of them.
High School Sweethearts
The point of having a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school is to hope that they end up high school sweethearts. Some end up marrying their first, and some don't, just as some people can stand to be married to a single person for fifty years, and some can't stand marrying at all. I'm witnessing four high school sweethearts, all still going strong. Granted, three of those relationships are around the same age as I am, so graduated high school a few years ago, but the fourth has been married for eighteen years in counting.
There are some high school sweethearts who decide to not marry at all. I can guarantee if my dad was still alive, he and my mom would still be together, and they were together since her sophomore year. Granted, they were both drinkers, and if my dad cheated on her, my mom cheated on him back, but I am convinced that they still loved each other. It was just one of those weird relationships.
Those that say it's close to impossible think that all teenagers are childish and immature. They don't give credit to those teenagers in their resilience and flexibility. Yes, teenagers can get hurt emotionally and could throw a tantrum, but even grown adults act that way. Some women key a car, or men throw their ex-girlfriend's belongings out of the fourth story apartment window. For teenagers, I described it as it could be like a death sentence, but once they are over it, they move on. Some teenagers move on quicker than others, and end up with a new partner within a day, whereas others may take a month or two. Teenagers can range from immature and childish to strangely full of wisdom.
Just keep in mind that not all relationships last, so if the characters seem all wrong for each other, don't keep shoving them in a room and expect them to make up and keep up their relationship. In addition, even if the story ends, if it doesn't show either of their deaths, it doesn't mean that the relationship ends in a happily ever after. They could break up some time after the story ends and find a new mate. The only job a story has is to tell a story, not the entire lives of one or more persons.
Love at First Sight
People swear that love at first sight is a myth . . . but it's TRUE! There is proof that love at first sight exists, and it happens within the first three minutes of meeting. John Tesh, a radio host who talks about living healthy, caring for your pets, love and relationships along with other subjects, said that there was a scientific study on this. It's just that the phrase "love at first sight" is misleading. So let me explain what actually happens.
You meet a person for the first time, and as soon as you see him or her, your mind instantly deems if the person is physically attractive or not. Our brains are hardwired to look for a mate with good genes, and our brain lights up when a person is deemed attractive. All, or nearly all, men think that women with a good face and a good physique are attractive, but women are different (this is all on John Tesh's website but on different articles). Women can be attracted to different things. Some are attracted to scruffiness rather than clean-shaven, or is pudgy instead of muscled; some women even look at men's taste in clothes rather than their actual physique. Women also prefer average looking men because they think that good-looking men are more likely to cheat because they have more opportunities with beautiful women. Does that mean all attractive (and wealthy) men can't be trusted with commitment? No, they just have to work harder to convince the woman they like that they are in the relationship for the long run.
Next, you say hello and hear them greet you back. The sound of their voice is the next indicator of whether this person is "the one", and it only takes a few seconds. Men prefer women to have a higher-pitched, and slightly breathy voice, as Marilyn Monroe had, and women think that men with deep voices are more handsome than they actually are (I love you Josh Turner!). Both genders also think that those who talk faster are smarter.
Finally, you and the person have a conversation, and it's immediately about something you think is important; whether it's about kids, marriage, religion, or even something generally menial, but is important to you, like how to keep a house tidy, or music. Unconsciously, you judge their words and phrasing. If it's more similar to your use of words, like being formal, scientific, or descriptive, and you are in complete agreement, then you have found a likely candidate in a life-long partner. This doesn't happen to everyone; only about eleven percent in a study in Israeli university said that their relationship started at hello. In addition, even if you decide not to make a move for a few years, being strictly only friends and then try to make a relationship, those first three minutes are still a make or break.
While I'm being scientific, there are a few facts that are interesting when it comes to overall love and relationships. Men and women rate each other. While men do find beautiful and healthy women more attractive, they might not go for them, but find love in more average looking women. They know that looks don't matter (that's why they don't pay attention if you've gotten new shoes or changed your make-up) so rate a woman's personality from a simple scale of one to ten. Women, on the other hand, do count looks, but not in a shallow way. At first sight, they may rate a man's look a measly four, but if the man's personality is a perfect ten, they average it out to make seven.
Who do you think is more likely to say "I love you" first: men, or women? If you said women, you're wrong! On a survey in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, men were three times more likely to say "I love you" first, with an average of forty-two days before women said it. Men feel happy when people say they love them, but not so much with women. Women know that "I love you" are just three words, and value commitment more than men themselves, so will wait until they know the man will stick around before rewarding him with the happy-inducing phrase.
Whether the two go off and immediately start a relationship, or stick to being friends for the time being, depends on what kind of persons the characters are. Moreover, as I stated in High School Sweethearts, just because the story ends happily, doesn't mean that the characters couldn't break up afterwards. Keeping all of these men, women and relationship factors in mind, writing a Love at First Sight story should be a piece of cake.
Stockholm Syndrome
For those unfamiliar with this term, it's when the person kidnapped falls for, or feels sympathy for, his or her captor. Yes, this is real, not fiction, but some people don't realize it can be from more than just kidnappings. For instance, a daughter could have been molested by her father for so long, observing his sad drunken state repeatedly and eventually convince herself that she loves him (probably thinking that her life could be worse than it already was). It's emotionally and psychologically scarring. If someone wants to save this person, it's going to take more than just asking the victim to go with the hero.
It also takes an extended amount of time for the victim to feel anything more than fear or rage at his or her captor, but it varies depending on the victim. Some would break within a day, or it would take a month or even a few months.
Sometimes, there are cases of Stockholm Syndrome where it isn't purely awful. In CSI: New York, although it's a fictional show the cases portrayed on TV are based on real cases, a little girl witnesses a convenience store robbery gone south, when she went to buy aspirin for her mother. The little girl didn't have a father, and her mother was a low functioning alcoholic, so the little girl didn't have anyone she could depend on. The thieves/murders realize they have a witness and the girl ends up kidnapped so there wouldn't be a witness. One of the two thieves contemplates killing the girl just so there isn't any unnecessary baggage, or a living witness. When things became serious, the other thief killed him, showing that he had the heart to not kill a little girl, especially when it was their fault that their plan didn't go as well as they had hoped. Therefore, with nothing left to do, he takes the girl and claims her as his daughter (no rape or molestation), and for five or so years, they lived happily as father and daughter. Eventually the police catch up, and due to poor commands, SWAT shoots the thief in front of the girl—by then a teenager who loved him like a father.
As far as giving story advice for this scenario, just know your characters, and decide if the kidnapping was an accident or on purpose. Some people kidnap other people specifically to have a partner, expecting to induce the Stockholm Syndrome, though the kidnappers don't say it out-right. Also, keep the law in mind. Stockholm or not, the kidnapper will serve a sentence for kidnapping if he or she is caught.
Popular vs. Unpopular
This is a cliché idea, we know, but it doesn't mean some people still don't enjoy reading them, but I need to remind you of something. As I've referred in a few of my other guides, do not state the stereotypes! If a character (especially a teenager) has a habit of labeling people at first sight, and you don't want your story to sound anymore cliché than it already is, make up your own set of labels instead of the usual "geek" or "prep" set. What about Book Addicts or Wannabe Models? Second, by trying to create this relationship, you are forcing a character to try something he or she wouldn't normally do, so it's going to take some time before love starts to click. In high school, there is an image to protect, so someone may be afraid to know what would happen if people found out. Adults don't have as much of an "image" problem than teenagers, so it might not be as big of a deal. Other than that, create an internal and external conflict, and you should be fine when writing the story.
Arranged Marriages
To my surprise, arranged marriages are becoming popular, even in the U.S., so for those that say that it’s strictly an Eastern tradition, they need a wake-up call. First, I’m going to summarize what happens during an arranged marriage.
The parents meet other parents and select their child’s partner. In the past, it was more for rank, or for any monetary gain, but in the more modern times, parents choose the partner they think their child would like, and whom they would like. In medieval times, once the decision was set, the groom and bride meet at the altar, and soon after the wedding ceremony is complete, they consummate in the bridal bed. Now, the arranged partners have more of a choice whether they only want to see a photo, to arranging small private get-togethers to get to know each other better. They can date for a few years to get to know each other before making the big leap if they want to, committing before their relationship advances too far, and in the end, if they decide that they don’t like each other, they can tell their parents and have them decide another person.
As you have probably guessed, the parents are at stake for the marriage to work just as much as their children are, so they are heavily involved. This can be a huge problem for the free-spirited American who doesn’t like being controlled by his or her parents, but if someone really doesn’t mind, then it’s not a problem on that end. If things start to get tough, it could feel like the parents are blackmailing you to stay together, even though divorce is still an option.
With arranged marriages, love isn’t sacrificed. It forces two people to learn how to compromise with people you hardly know, and let a caring kind of love, different from attraction kind of love, blossom. With finding your own partner, you meet a person you get along with, but then as soon as you tie the knot, problems start to arise, and neither one knows how to compromise because they were never forced to before and give up.
Between finding your own love, and having it arranged for you, they both have upsides and down sides, but think about your main characters, and keep in mind of the parents. “Forced” arranged marriages in places like the U.S., where the child has absolutely no choice is very unreasonable unless there is another factor involved, like the parents abusing their child, threatening them to accept the marriage. If there are no forms of threats or abuse, there’s nothing that’s keeping them from saying ‘no.’ If the expecting-bride or groom yells no loud enough, someone will hear, and the marriage will be canceled.
Love Shapes
First off, just to clear up something I once read, a love triangle is a love V. A love triangle is a situation when two people have strong feelings for the same person, while that same person has strong feelings for both of them, and is faced with a heart-wrenching choice of which person to go with. In most stories featuring love triangles (two guys after one girl, or two girls after one guy) all parties involved are straight, but there is a triangular cycle. Character A loves B and C (and can‘t decide), B loves A, B hates C, C hates B, and C loves A. The feelings of love and hate are all interactive feelings, so this cycle between these three characters would make a triangle. The reason I put Love Shapes instead of Love Triangle, is that authors have added more love interests into the equation, so there are love squares, pentagons, hexagons, and so forth, but, then, I suppose any more than a love square would classify the story as a harem.
As I've said before, and will keep saying, stuff like this happens. Women fight over men all the time and men fight over women just as much. It's all about turf wars, and yes, even women have turf wars. They’re just more sneakier about it.
The main thing to think about is whether the two feuding characters are committed enough to verbally, physically, or emotionally fight for that desired character, in addition to if all the fighting turns off that desired character. So which of the three might give up first? I know if I liked two men and they were throwing punches to prove their manliness, I would be totally turned off. Also, if you want to write a proper love triangle, make sure that the desired character actually likes both characters close to equally. In Twilight (Meyers), Bella was so fixated on Edward that the promised love triangle was just a line and a dot. It's false advertising, and will just anger your readers.
If you want the love triangle story to end in a polygamy, you'll have to make sure your characters are willing to try it. If not, drop the idea immediately. Most likely, if the two people fighting are men, they won't try it because of the hard-wired "she's my property" slogan, plus, if they are straight adult men, just thinking of being in bed with another man can be rather off-putting. Women are more complicated where they are more likely to try it even if they deem themselves straight. Straight women kiss each other for kicks all the time after all, so it might work if the women are appeased, and they each get their special one-on-one time. It still depends on the kind of woman though, so, men, get those images of lesbian sex out of your minds right now!
In the next part of this guide is where I discuss genre, a more important aspect than I first gave credit, along with how to write kissing and sex scenes. Even if you aren't planning to write sex scenes, it can still help you create that tension you're looking for.