Two Idiots Go to Berk

By MoonSnails

140 1 0

The author and her best friend transverse dimensions to the island of Berk. That's all you get, If you want t... More

Berk, FINALLY!
Nothing But Embarrassment
The Band Is Back In Town

The Portal

46 0 0
By MoonSnails

"You whore! No one likes you, and no one wants you here!" She said, getting in my face, and backing me up against a wall. She then slapped me across the cheek. I then held my cheek, hiding my face in my hair, holding in my anger. I mean, come on? Why bother with a small nuisance like her? I'm going to be gone in a few days anyway. ~ (flashback end)

I tried my hardest to not throw my phone across the room, thinking about that, but I need my phone. It's the only one I am ever going to get. I continued packing my bag. I called my friend Chase. After the phone rang three times, he picked up.

"Wut teh feck do ya want?!"

"GET YOUR ASS UP OUT OF BED AND PACK A BAG! WE'RE GOIN' TO BERK BABEH!" I yelled through the phone.

"First of all, don't call me that. Second of all, how high are you?" He responded to my yelling.

"First of all, NO I'm not high. Second of all, it's not 'How high are you', it's 'Hi, how are you?'"

"Just go back to bed." He said tiredly.

"NO! GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE NOW WITH A PACKED BAG!"

" Luna, this is my Senior year, arguably the most important. I'M NOT PACKING A BAG TO MEET YOU AT YOUR HOUSE AT TWO A.M. TO DITCH SCHOOL."

"I have Hot Pockets."

"I'll be right there." He hangs up the phone. About two seconds later, my doorbell rang. I opened the door. He was standing there with a duffel bag over his shoulder, sweat pouring down his face. "Where..... are.... the.... HOT POCKETS....." He said, out of breath. I looked at him, wide eyed.

" How did you get here so fast?!"

"You should know my only motivation in life is food.... ESPECIALLY free food. NOW. WHERE. ARE. THE. HOT POCKETS?!"

"Okay, chill. I'll go get them." He stared at me crazily.

"Good." I quickly shuffled towards the kitchen. I grabbed all the food from the fridge, and threw it into a giant cooler. I also took out three Hot Pockets and cooked them. I brought out the hot pockets to Chase, and went upstairs to get my bags. I kicked them down the stairs, and after hearing the thumps of them hitting the bottom, I heard a small yelp. I jumped down the stairs, only to see that Chase was buried underneath all of my bags. "You could have asked where I was sitting first." I hear a muffled voice coming from under the bags.

"Sorry....." I helped uncover Chase from the bags.

"Seriously, why?"

"Sowwy..." I said in a baby voice.

"So why did you call me out here?" I looked at him with a mischievous glint in my eye. "I know that look... I don't LIKE that look..."

"I want you to see something real quick..." I said, trying to hide my smirk.

"Ok, this can be either really good, or really bad."

"Oh, it's good, I PROMISE."

"I'm scared...." I pulled him over to the portal. "Oh, you weren't lying...."

"NOPE! Hey, uuuh... look into the portal."

"Ok, what am I looking for exactly?"

"Uuuuuuh... do you see swirling black dots?"

"The whole thing is black, Luna."

"They are a darker black than the rest of the portal...." I said, nervously.

"Okay, If you say so...." He then leaned towards the portal. Heh... stupid mistake... I then kicked him through it. "WHAT THE-?!" I heard a SHWOOMP sound as he went through the portal. I then threw the bags through the portal. After I made sure all the bags were through, I jumped trough head first, and did a tuck-and-roll maneuver I learned in Martial Arts class. And then I heard muffled complaints coming from under me and the bags. I lifted up one of them, and saw his head face first in the ground. Chase then lifted his head, spat out a mouthful of dirt, and muttered a "Fuck you"

"Well, fuck you too." I replied back.

"Well, I wasn't the one who covered someone twice in bags and then rolled on top of them!"

"I said sorry..." I muttered. He glared at me. "What?!" I snapped. He looked around. I then realized where we were. "OH MEH THOR!!" WE ARE ON AN ISLAND CLOSE TO BERK!! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!!! We just have to find a dragon....." I started mumbling to my self a checklist of what we needed to do before nightfall. Chase continued to stare at me as if I was crazy.

"What the actual hell are you going on about?" I ignored his question, as I looked around. I then saw a cave, and pulled him towards it. "This cave looks incredibly scary, so why the FECK are we going towards it?!"

"TRUST ME! DER IS NOTING IN DER!!" He gave me a look of disbelief.

"You sure bout dat?"

"Completely." I said to him, as I continued to pull him towards it with a smirk on my face. It was safe, just as long as he didn't scream. "Go get some sticks for a fire, But DON'T GET LOST!"

"I swear, if we make it out of this alive, I'm never going into mysterious portals with you again" He muttered as he walked off.

"WE WON'T NEED TO!" I yelled at him. That's right. I heard you. I started walking towards the little stream I knew was around here. Then I remembered. "SHIT!" I screamed. THE BAGS! I quickly ran towards where we came out of the portal, and luckily our bags were still there, untouched. I sighed out of relief. I opened the bag with my hair supplies in it, and took out three hair ties. Why, you may ask? Well, my hair is EXTREMELY long. So long that it reaches the floor. Anyways, I zipped the bag back up, and brought them all to the cave, making several trips back and forth just to get all of them. THEN I went fishing. I caught a few fish, enough for me, and hopefully enough for Chase too. I heard footsteps behind me, so I said "Finally back with the wood, huh?" but I didn't get a reply. Oh, you have GOT to be KIDDING me. I slowly turned around. What I saw, was NOT Chase. It was a skrill. I was NOT prepared to see a skrill within the first hour of getting here, let alone twenty minutes. I slowly stood up, trying not to make any sudden movements, and grabbed the largest fish from the pile. I slowly held out the fish as a peace offering, and the skrill came forward. I calmed my nerves as best as I could, and as he approached, I could see his pupils dilating, as he came closer. I slowly handed it the fish, and as it ate the fish, it came closer to me. I held my hand out, Like Hiccup did when he first trained toothless, turned my head, and closed my eyes. As soon as I did, I felt warm scales leaning against my hand. My eyes widened in relief that I wasn't going to die, then I realized. I JUST TRAINED A SKRILL! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AND I'M NOT DEAD! SO I GUESS THAT'S GOOD TOO! BUT I JUST TRAINED A FUCKING SKRILL! ONE OF THE MOST UNTRAINABLE DRAGONS!!!! Wait, but..... If Chase freaks out..... it may fly away.... or possibly kill us... "I need to hide you!" I said to it. I walked in to the cave, the skrill following, and went as far back as I could, and found a large rock for it to stay behind. "Ok, boy-" it growled. "GIRL." I said quickly. "Stay here for a little bit, ok?" It sort of nodded it's head so I assume it understood. I wonder how Chase will react... I walked back to the entrance of the cave. I sat down, and started singing to pass the time, still waiting on Chase for firewood, so I started singing Talking To The Moon, by Bruno Mars. There was a loud THUMP behind me. I jumped and turned around.

"Here's your fuckin' sticks." I glared at him.

"You didn't need to drop them right behind me." I continued to glare at him as I said that.

"So how do you propose to light these things? What time is it anyway?" I smirked, and walked over to my bags. I pulled out a pocket sized lighter.

"With this." I lit the flame on the lighter. "Oh, I also have some kerosene if we need it."

"Right.... Do you have a working watch in there, too? Or maybe a puppy to keep us company? Or maybe another portal to get us out of here?" He said as he got in my face. I pull out my phone, and show him the time.

"DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULD LEAVE WITH OUT MY PHONE?!" I yelled, offended.

"No, but I don't know if it would tell the correct time. Not to mention, am I the only person that hears a noise that is not natural?" I looked around nervously.

"What noise? I don't hear a noise." I say, nervously.

"It sounds like raspy breathing or something." Chase then gets up and walks towards the rock that the dragon is behind.

"Uh, Chase, don't-" I said, reaching my hand out towards him, as he got closer to the rock. He looked behind the rock. He took one look and stumbled backwards in fright. He opened his mouth to scream, but I quickly covered it. I sighed. "I told you not to look." I said to him. He just glared at me from the floor.

"Explain. NOW." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.

"This is my dragon. SHE won't hurt you as long as you don't startle her." I said.

"Okay, cool. Dragons. How neat." Chase then proceeded to pass out onto the cave floor. I facepalmed.

"I KNEW this was going to happen." The dragon rolled her eyes. I dragged Chase to the mouth of the cave. I grabbed a container, and filled it with water from the spring. I then walked back to the cave, and dumped it on Chase's face. After waking up, he looked at me, at the dragon, then back to me before saying "You are the absolute worst." The dragon rolled her eyes, and walked up to the pile of sticks, lit it on fire, and laid down next to it. I walked over to the fire, and sat on a rock next to her. I opened the cooler, and pulled out a hot pocket, and a knife. I grabbed a stick from the tree line, and sharpened it. I put a fish on the stick, and then proceeded to cook it. Chase grabbed the hot pocket, put it on a stick and held it over the flame.

"At least this time it should get cooked on more than just the ends." I looked at him with a 'really' look on my face. (like this -_-) I rolled my eyes, and turned over the fish. I saw it steam, so I took it away from the fire. I cut off it's head, because, gross, and ate it.

"So what now?" I pulled one of the bigger bags over, and pulled out two blankets, and three pillows. Two normal pillows, and one body pillow. I gave one normal pillow and a black blanket to Chase, and kept one normal pillow, the body pillow, and my Toothless blanket for myself.

"You are the biggest nerd I've ever seen." Chase then covered himself with the blanket, rolled over, and said nothing.

"DON'T JUDGE ME, HE IS ADORABLE!" I yelled. I rolled over and fell asleep.



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, THAT'S ALL FOLKS! That was chapter one, we hope you liked it! Check out my co-author's account, chaseandwin232!

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