Elektra
I should probably explain the random guys with guns. When you're a prodigy in the underworld life of crime, it's easy to sniff out guns. Right when everyone descended into the bunker, I went to town, sniffing down dark alleys and checking out sketchy bars until I found the type of people I was looking for; a ragtag group of four looking for a way to get their product of guns global. After a mild shoot-off, lots of colorful swears and exciting threats, I finally gained some willing and able sharpshooters. For personal use and to help the others if needed.
Meanwhile, while Kya and Co. where down in the bunker, I was getting pretty bored on the surface, but I had a lot of time to myself to think about what I really wanted in my future. Did I want to exterminate Reaper once and for all? Yes. Do I want to basically rule the entire world? Yes. Did I give two craps about those people below me? No.
At least, that was my standpoint on my life until I really decided to dissect my purpose. I remember at the airport, I had briefly entertained the thought that I wasn't running away from Asylum to start a new, dedicated empire of my own; but that I was running towards the chance to make memories that don't involve death, considering I never had much of a childhood.
Above that bunker, I thought about everything.
Reaper despised me for being emotionless and robotic towards her conquering Russia, and I wondered why I was that way. I've never made any attachments to anyone whatsoever, and I know I've tried. Am I incapable of emotion? I know I've always told myself, and anyone who asked, that emotions are the poison to a strong being, but was I just fooling myself? Giving myself a reason to be so heartless?
Then there's the looming plot to create my own empire. But who would follow me? How would I lead? Certainly, it can't be with compassion; I can't replicate the feeling, nor do I want to be perceived as weak and supple. And once I win over, for example, Japan, then what? Move onto the next country? Take back Russia? I could spend my entire life trying to rule the world, but why? Power brings happiness – at least that's been my motto – but what kind of happiness will I receive once I'm sitting on a global throne? The happiness that comes in the form of currency and jewels? When you rule the world, anything you could ever want is disposable at your fingertips, and for free. So, what currency and value would I really need? Having power over everyone is a feat, but once completed, the thrill is over, and anxiety over loyalty ensues. It becomes less of a challenge and more of a job.
I contemplated why I was so hellbent on becoming the leader of a totalitarian society made of the entire population. What was I trying to compensate for? What am I lacking that is trying to be filled with my greed? What challenge have I not accomplished?
Again and again, I'm brought back to my upbringing. I'm not talking about my joining of the gun-running gangs, or Brovinski's life lessons, or me murdering the guy. I mean even before the orphanage, where I was cruelly bullied for my markings before people learned to fear me. I'm talking about my actual birth. No matter what I think about, the reason for my faults – the extreme apathy, the lack of ability to connect, the void I try to fill with power – all seems to circle back to being given up in the first place.
I've never really felt abandoned, though that's what I was. Back at the airport, I was almost correct. I was running toward my childhood in a way, yes, but not to make memories.
Now, I think I know what I have to do with my future before launching into a campaign to elect me world leader. What I have in my mind feels...right. Like this is what I'm meant to do. I know I told Kya I don't believe in that mumbo-jumbo, foo-foo fate bullshit, but for the second time in my life, I felt like I was really destined for something. The first time being when I escaped Asylum.
Once we gathered back to Ren's place, I instructed those random people with guns to help the Sages in any way they could. It was all hands on deck tonight – Leo's broken arm, Ren's twisting knife injuries, and Kya's new blood drop hand everyone scrambling around in a flurry. All the Sages flocked to Ren when they saw blood on their master's body, but predictably, he gave the order for Kya to be top priority. Regardless of his now painfully-obvious feelings for her, Kya looked like she needed some serious help.
In Russia, I've seen a lot of infection from septic wounds. People's limbs went black and numb, their teeth fell out, their eyes became sources of diseases... But I've never seen anything quite like Kya's condition. Her skin was yellow, her hair was more silver than brown and plastered to her sweaty face, her body was ceasing, and as she walked by, waves of heat emanating from her body pounced on me. She would need a lot more than an ice bath tonight.
Once Leo's arm was set and Ren was stitched up, Ren tried to go into the private bedroom with Kya, where the Sages were tending to him. When they wouldn't let him through due to "spatial disorder" and his "distracting presence," Ren finally gave up and paced around the pavilion like a starving dog, which rounds us up to the present.
Ren sees me staring at the koi fish pond. He seems a bit tentative to join me, but I think he wants to take his mind off everything. "Everything" probably being one girl who has somehow wiggled her way into the hearts of everyone she meets.
"I didn't expect you to be here," Ren admits, standing next to me as we watch the rippling water. Pink water lilies dot the rectangular body of water down the entire stretch of the dojo, crickets chirp in the distance, and the gentlest of breezes caress our skin. From the outside looking in, it's a perfect night.
"Where did you expect me to be, then?"
Ren shrugs, half of him in the present and half of him elsewhere. "Wherever you normally disappear. You're never training, and I hardly see you eat. It's like you're not even here sometimes."
"I know the extent of my power," I justify. "And where I grew up and how I grew up, I've adjusted to a miniscule diet. You'll rarely see me eat."
He frowns, and I wonder when he started frowning. He's always been more of a grimacing type of guy. Then again...when did Kya accept her powers, including the dark ones? When did Leo finally get a girlfriend and an ounce of confidence? When did I rethink my meaning of life? "You know, you never told me where you're from, still."
Perking one of my brows up, I echo, "Still? When did you ever ask?"
He surprises me with his detailed answer. "The Asylum pool, when we were still plotting our escape. I asked where you were from, but you never told me. It's fine if you don't want to. You're obviously a private person. I can relate to that."
Relate? To me? It sounds farfetched, but then again, I don't know everything about Ren, either. "Russia," I answer, startling him. "I grew up in an orphanage before running away and joining a gun-running gang."
Slowly, Ren nods his hand, digesting this rare bit of information. "That explains the steely mannerisms," he jokes. "And that's where you met Reaper?"
"Yep," I confirm. "What's the story with you?"
"Complicated," Ren says. "My mother died giving birth to me, my father blamed me and I accidentally killed him. Then because of that my older brother tried to kill me, but died by falling off that cliff over there when he slipped during one of our battles. My younger half-brother ran away because of everything. It was just a lot."
"Funny how when we think about the same thing for so long, we can abbreviate it."
Ren smirks. "I didn't know you found anything funny."
"Good point," I acknowledge. "How's Kya?"
His brown brows wrinkle in uncertainty and I note how he wrings his hands together. Ren takes a moment to answer, casting a shadowy glance towards the hall where she's being taken care of. "Hurting." His hand stretches behind him and rubs a spot on his back. "I can still feel it."
"The Swap?" I guess.
"Yeah," he answers in a sigh. His golden eyes take on a gratifying gleam as he places a gloved hand on my shoulder. "You really saved our asses today. You and whoever the hell those people are. Thank you."
I nod as a "you're welcome."
"Do you still plan on leaving? I know you said you weren't meant to stay here, but have you changed your mind?" Ren almost sounds hopeful. Does he hope I'll stay just because of my power? Because I'm another number against Reaper and Cerberus and whoever else may come after us?
"I do," I confirm. "But not as soon as I figured. My plans have changed."
"To what?"
I brace myself for how ridiculous this is going to sound out loud. I close my eyes, as if it would block me from hearing my own words. "I'm going to go back to Russia and track down my parents. I have had too many unanswered questions for too long." Why did they give me up? Did my markings frighten them? Was I simply an unplanned mistake? What kind of life would I have had if they kept me?
When I open my mutated eyes, I see Ren grinning – Ren is grinning. "I'm surprised. Pleasantly," he assures. "Do you want us to go with you?"
I blink in surprise and confusion, which is strange. When the Reaper was unharmed by bullets and lightning, I didn't even flinch. "Us?"
"Leo, Sarah, Kya if she-" he stops short, not wanting the possibility of her death to be spoken into existence. I highly doubt she'll die based on the fact that she's endured this before, but I could be wrong. Kya looked like she already died twice over when I last saw her. "We can help you find them."
"You guys would do that for me?" The way I ask, it's as if I'm giving him a chance to retract his statement and hit the hills running.
"Of course," Ren tells me anyways. "I know I'm not the fuzziest person on the planet, but coming here, I was trying to leave you guys. But some pesky girl with gray eyes kept following me around, so the opportunity never presented itself," he teases. "I didn't want to be friends with any of you. I didn't want anybody to mean anything to me because I thought that the closer I got to someone, the more risk there was for people getting hurt... But before I knew it, I was worrying about you guys. Despite me doing everything I could to prevent ties to you guys, you all ended up mattering to me. Including you. And if I of all people consider you a friend, I'm sure the others do, too."
A foreign feeling wells up in my chest as something works its way up my throat – a grateful sob. I'm not totally soft yet, I scowl myself, swallowing my emotions. "I really appreciate it, Ren. Thank you. But I think this is something I have to do on my own."
Comprehensively, Ren nods. "I understand. When do you plan on heading out?"
"Once I've done my work here." Firmly, I stare him in the eye, daring him to challenge me. "Once I've finished the Reaper."
Instead, he claps me on the back. "I'll be right there beside you." There's more of an odd silence before Ren fills in the gap. "I'm glad everyone made it out alright, even if we're in rough shape. Wait..." he pauses. "I never saw Alistair. Did he come back with us?"
That's right. How could I have forgotten? Alistair was the first one who burst out of those hot metal doors, looking like shame and something distraught. For a brief moment, we met eyes. Before I could even blink, he instantly turned into thin air. No matter how far I thought I could see, I couldn't make out a dashing silhouette anywhere, nor a figure hiding behind the corner of the nearest building. But did I think that was the last time I would see it? Not a chance.
Do I keep this valuable information to myself, or share it with Ren? "The second he saw sunlight, he vanished."
"Figures," Ren growls.
"He was probably terrified of you, after he turned your girlfriend into the supernatural feds," I tease, elbowing him in the ribs.
His jaw goes slack and in the setting sun, his cheeks burn a dark red. "W-we aren't dating. We don't have that kind of relationship."
"You're joking."
Ren's face is red, but serious. "I'm not."
I roll my eyes. "Just because you haven't told her you're totally head over heels, doesn't mean you feel that way."
Anxiously, he chuckles, running his hands together again, leather over leather. "What are you saying, exactly?"
"In your mind, you're already hers. After today, it's pretty damn obvious how you feel about her. And with how bent Kya was when you hurt her, it's pretty damn obvious how she feels about you. Just because it isn't in writing doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You two have something special."
Ren shrugs. "Kya's nice. She's like that to everyone."
I bark out a conniving laugh, which makes Ren jump. "You're right, she's too kind. I guess the only way for you to find out her true feelings is to just confess yours."
He sucks in a long breath, drawing random shapes and patterns with the toe of his shoe. Childishly, he crosses his arms and stares at the ground, suddenly highly interested in the material of the pavilion. "It's not the right time," Ren finally explains. "We've all been in danger. I want to tell her when we're in a happy moment. When it's special."
Eyeing him, I coyly note, "Last I heard, Sarah told Leo she loved him down in the bunker. And if that tiny ball of knowledge can do it, so can you."
Sheepishly, Ren chuckles, still staring at the ground. I never thought I'd describe the Dragon as sheepish, but here we are. Again, I catch him looking softer; less guarded, more open. Less pissed off at the world and happier with how it's turning. In acceptance with his past and optimistic about his future. I find myself feeling the same way, recently. And with Leo and Sarah's finally budding relationship, I'm sure they feel it, too. It's no secret that Kya was the catalyst, if not reason for all of this. I only hope she's feeling the same way, although right now, she's squirming in excruciating pain somewhere on a bed.
"I asked the Sages to plan a relaxing day tomorrow. Maybe when we're all comfortable, I'll...do something. Maybe."
I snort. "I didn't know the Dragon was actually a chicken."
"Makes two of us," he responds admittedly, running a gloved hand through his hair.
"Why do you wear the gloves?" I inquire, not one for beating around the bush, as we all know.
Ren stops fidgeting and stares at them. "At first, the fire made my hands bright red, and people always looked at me stranger than they already did..." I eye him, knowing that I stick out more than he does, because my markings are wherever my veins are, which is everywhere. "I know, it seems ridiculous now. But eventually, it became a part of me; I wore these when my family died, and I wore them when I became the Dragon. It's just been who I am."
"Who are you now?"
Ren's irises start to glow in the darkening day. Softly, he tells me, "I'm just Ren. And for the first time ever, I'm happy to be me. There are people who finally accept me. What about you, Elektra?"
Halfheartedly, I shrug. "I don't know. That's what I want to find out when I set off."
"I hope you find your answers."
The doors to the dojo open, and before they even budge a millimeter, Ren is whirling around. "Master Walker," a man croaks. "She's conscious again, although very weak."
"I'm on my way," he responds. Turning to me, Ren grimaces like his good ol' self, now that he's riddled with anxiety. "It was good talking with you, Elektra."
"You too. Give Kya my best...and your best, too." I give him a wink as he delivers a small smile before he disappears behind closed doors. I'm alarmed that I'm smiling even after he's gone, but I feel a slight sense of relief at the same time. I have the capability to smile without bloodshed still. That's promising.
I stare out at the halo of city lights down by the village, wondering if my parents are in a city like this, or if they're freezing their asses off in the streets I once cleaned up. If they're somewhere farther away from civilization and are looking at a city once like mine.
I don't miss my parents, since I can't miss what I never had. Brovinski was like a mentor to me, but never a father figure. Though I'm at a loss for exactly why I was given up, I can't hate them. I'm sure they had their reasons. But if they didn't...then I'm probably hate them.
Until I leave to find them, however, I think I have some fragment of what may be called a family right here – in Japan, where the used-to-be explosive Ren Walker was raised, with people who used to be nothing but pawns and strangers to me. It's funny how the universe works; how we play into destiny's hands or sometimes stash aces up our sleeves to get us where we are.
The universe wanted me locked in Asylum.
Destiny pushes me to find my parents.
The ace up my sleeve?
An underlying desire to be a better human, or human at all.