Kya Carter
Ren actually had the guts to suggest cooking some of the dogs. Because they're both like savages, Elektra agreed with him and claimed that we should use their fur for coats, considering that winter is slowly getting near. Surprisingly, Sarah agreed. She claimed that it would be more shameful to take from the world without proper reason – that by using the dogs we "calm their spirit." So we used four dog corpses.
Yes, I did eat. No, I didn't take a dog coat.
The whole cave was silent as we ate until someone finished their food and began talking about how to proceed with our plan: Elektra. "We should head out right after we finish eating. I think we should be looking for any landmarks: roads, signs, banners. We're a couple miles out from Asylum, and now that we're at our top notch," she flashes a side-eye my way. "There should be no reason we don't succeed in finding something to go off."
"What about when we get to civilization?" I pitch in, voice sounding odd from disuse. "We need money for plane tickets."
Ren shrugs. "I mean we don't, really. We could just sneak on board and..." he looks at my disproving face and sighs. His shoulders sag. "We'll figure that part out once we get there. One step at a time, guys."
I furrow my brows and look away from him. It isn't like Ren to give into something I say. He'd either make a point at how I'm too afraid to get my hands dirty, or call me babyish and scold me for not taking one for the team. Something's up with him, but I'm not complaining. Finishing my meal, I look to the others, who also finish up. Ren leans over to me. "You didn't eat much."
"I'm not that hungry," I lie. In reality, I just feel sick to my stomach for what I did. Or rather, what I didn't do. I could've prevented those dogs from getting cooked. I could've warded them off easily. But I didn't and I feel selfish for doing so. I'd be able to such a thing by using the darker side of my power – the side that murdered my parents. But I was too scared to.
"Hmph," Ren sounds, scrutinizing me. Nevertheless, he leaves me alone. "Everyone finished?" We all nod. "So we're ready?"
"Baby," Leo sighs as he stands and stretches. "I was born ready."
"...right, okay. Let's head out, then."
Elektra leads the group, followed by Ren, who takes Leo and Sarah in his wake. I take caboose. Ren and Elektra burned the remains of the dogs to ashes to cover our trail. Certainly, Asylum is after us. Ahead, Leo and Sarah fervently whisper and cast glances my way. Sighing, I catch up to them. "Guys, I know you're talking about me," I disclose.
Sadly, Sarah smiles. "We're just worried about you. Those dogs dying seemed to bring you to a whole different world. I mean, you looked at the bodies, but your head was somewhere else."
I'm reverted to a memory that I try to push back. "Maybe we just shouldn't be together anymore!" Dad yells, liquor picking his words for him. "I can't stand you."
Mom cries in the kitchen, but they're tears of anger. "I've wished you were dead for years now," she furiously yells, hands balled into fists. I watch the scene from behind the corner wall, peeking out.
"So why don't you just kill me?" Dad challenges, stepping closer to my mom. "Or are you too stupid to know how to even do that?"
Mom punches Dad in the jaw, a clicking sound resonating in my ears. Retaliating, my father grabs my mom by her neck and squeezes. Panicked, I step forward. Raising my hands and bringing them together, I create jerky movements that eventually result in their demise and the beginning of mine.
"I'm fine," I lie again. The phrase catches Ren's attention. Gold eyes look my way, scrutinizing me. What is it with him?
"Did something happen between you two?" Leo asks, slinging an arm around my shoulders, despite me being taller. "Because I'll kill 'em. You know I will. I'll put my skinny little hands on his neck and just squeeze. I'd do it for you!"
Though I know he's just teasing, I'm still startled. Uncontrollably, my hands start to move like they did when I killed my parents. The memory resurfaces again, but this time the details are more vivid. Physically, I lose my breath. Ren suddenly stops in his path, clutching his chest and gathering his breath. Glaring, he looks back at me. Why does he think I'm the cause of this?
I look down to ask Sarah if she knows what his problem is, when I notice her gaping. "What?" I ask.
Sarah looks up, lavender eyes gleaming with knowledge. "The swap! Ren feels what you feel, so does that mean that you feel what he feels?"
I pause, searching my feelings. "No, I don't. Is that bad?" Personally, I think it's great. I would hate feeling like an asshole all the time.
"Hmm..." Sarah thinks for a bit. "I don't know. I'm surprised this thing even worked, really. Let me know if anything changes, this is very interesting to me."
"Well, I can kind of tell when he's truthful or not – well, with anyone, really. I can just sort of pick up a vibe really well."
"Being a water bender," Sarah supplies an answer as Leo affectionately looks at her, "you have a stronger connection to chi and energy. That's probably why."
"Huh," I acknowledge, taking it in with a nod.
We travel for a few miles. The land felt good at first; the squishing of soft grass, the slight sink my feet make in the soil. But now it feels like a hammer is pounding the soles of my feet with every step I take. The sun is starting to set and we have no sign of life.
A slight glowing object catches my eye and I squint my eyes to see what it is. They're Ren's eyes, becoming more noticeable with the loss of sunlight. They're wide and they stare through the trees as if they see a ghost. He did something like that in the cave, too. I could have sworn I saw something there, but once I focused my sight on it, it vanished.
Following Ren's line of sight, I see what he's looking at: a shadow that darts between the trees. Centering my attention on it, it vanishes. The apparition appears to be the shape of a man, but I can never see it well enough to tell. Once it's gone, Ren turns towards me, anger in his eyes. Huffing a grand sigh, Ren stomps back here and gets close, his face scrunched up in fury. "Look, I don't know what you're doing, but I know you're the one doing it and you need to cut it out!"
I give him a little push away, trying to regain some personal space. "Take it easy, Ren," I bite. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
He gasps. "Well that was a lie."
"Well that was a lie that that was a lie," I lie again, trying to twist his words to the point that they're too confusing to understand. "What do you think I'm doing?"
Ren opens his mouth to say something, but stops. There's calculation in his expression, for once. Rather than act on vexing impulse, he's choosing to keep his head on semi-straight and bottle it up. "You know what it is," he growls, voice guttural and primal.
"You're probably just tired."
He takes a few deep breaths before the group notices we stopped walking. "Hey, you two gonna claw each other's eyes out now, or later?" Leo asks.
"We're coming," Ren promises, not taking his eyes off me. We begin walking, but Ren's hot presence is still beside me. "Who do you see?" he inquires.
"What?"
"Earlier, you said you saw them too. Who did you mean?"
Squinting, I dissect Ren's words. He only really asks me anything about myself if he thinks he can benefit from it. He's either trying to know me for some sort of leverage, or he thinks that my visions will help his – because I know he has them. That haunting look he gets sometimes is only identifiable to me because I get it too. "Why does it matter to you?"
"I was curious," is his short answer. There's no stirring of energy in his aura, telling me that he's telling the truth. But curiosity is only a half-truth. Sure, he's curious. But curious for his own intentions or mine?
Grudgingly, I tell him. "I see my parents sometimes," I admit. "In my head, though. Like memories that are on repeat."
"Oh," he sounds, almost disappointed.
"Was that not the answer you were looking for?"
Ren grunts and flicks his gaze back to me. I'm getting to know his game now and he doesn't like it. He'll only ask questions that somehow pertain to him, and he'll only help people if it'll help himself. I don't think Ren is necessarily selfish; he just hasn't found a cause worth putting his ambitions towards. His grunt just now meant that my answer didn't benefit him in any way. I just wasted his breath.
"Who do you see?" I probe, studying Ren for a reaction. He furrows his brows and his natural frown deepens. It must be someone significant.
"Just a person," he lies, looking away.
"If 'just a person' can make you look so depressed, I wonder how someone important would make you appear."
Ren sighs, his broad shoulders heaving up and down with his breath. His body emanates more warmth with approaching a sensitive subject. "He was my brother."
"Was?" I pursue.
"Yeah, he's dead now, Kya," he snaps, hands balling into fists. "I killed him. You happy?"
I gasp and take a step backwards, startled at the intense resentment in his chi. There's pain in him that he converts to uncontrollable, detrimental rage. He'd rather feel burning fury than poisonous anguish. A part of me wants to reach out to him and soothe his energy. It's going bonkers – off the wall. It makes me on edge and I'm sure it's affecting the others, too. But I don't. It would probably make him upset that I'd still show him kindness after being yelled at.
I wonder if this is what happened with his whole family. I know he had parents, but his mom moved. He lived with his dad in Japan. Parents love their children unconditionally, and if Ren was this explosive then, I wonder how he would react when his own father tried to care for him and his circumstances. Did Ren push him away like he does with anyone else?
"Of course not, Ren," I whisper, putting my hands in my pocket. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well..." he kicks a loose rock. "I don't know if I am."
"What do you mean?" I quietly ask, knowing damn well that I'm walking on razor-sharp eggshells.
"I killed him in two ways. I killed who he used to be – and that's the part I'm sorry about. But then I killed his body, and after what he became, I'm not so sure I feel guilty for that one." Reminiscently, Ren gazes at his gloved hands, body walking on auto pilot. Sorrow engulfs his aura, but anger settles in his blazing eyes. I feel awkward just staring at him, but I'm at a loss of words and don't know what else to do.
Looking over at me, Ren snorts and looks away, silent. "Ren, get up here!" Elektra shouts.
"Huh?" Ren sounds, snapping out of Ren World. "What is it?"
"I think I found something," Elektra alerts before chuckling. "I think I found a road."