Red Collins - no, she can't keep calling herself that, can she? - pushed a hand through her hair. It was a nervous habit that she only got aware of after Gray called her out on it, so many times. Back then, she'd still had a blue pixie cut. When she transferred to his school, she grew it out into a pageboy, dyed it red, and kept doing it.
Now Gray was back, and life didn't make sense again but it sure as hell was better.
"So what do you want to do after this?" he asked. "If I have to put up with one more reunion - "
"We can just go to your house and have a movie marathon," Red suggested. "It's hard to find someone who shares my opinion of JarJar Binks not being all that bad. In the second movie."
He laughed - it sounded like a surprised gasp - and her mood lifted. She was still angry at him, though. Angry or afraid.
Two emotions that seem mutually exclusive.
"Star Wars sounds great, Red," he said. She grinned and stepped back. Then his smile turned into a frown. "What happened? When I thought you had a gig, you stopped yelling."
Well, she can't avoid this forever. A year is a longer time than anyone ever thinks it is, and the year he was gone was the longest of her life. Part of her wanted to reply that he basically answered his own question, but with all that's changed -
"We broke up the band, Gray," Red replied, as softly as she could. "I still sing, just - on my own, from now on."
"That's hardly fair," he protested. "You guys were great. Who else could have written a song about general relativity that somehow doesn't sound pretentious and doesn't suck?"
"It will forever be our greatest legacy," Red said, deepening her voice, "But I just figured - the guys didn't seem to want to do it anymore, and we were starting to lose it - whatever it was that made us want to start a band."
She could see him grit his teeth before she realized she shouldn't be watching him so closely, and that he was staring at her like he wanted to read her mind and she was thinking in a language he can't understand. It confused her. He knew her too well - why was he staring like that?
"Those are excuses and you know it," Gray accused. "Why did you really break up?"
Red wanted to hit him for that, but it was bad form to punch your best friend twice after he just got back from leaving you for a year.
Oh, jeez, now she really wanted to hit him.
"Do you really want to ask that right now?" she said sharply. He raised an eyebrow. Red forced herself to take a deep breath. "I'll tell you when I'm done being mad."
"I thought you were," Gray said, and then checked that thought. "God, what am I saying?"
That surprised a laugh out of her. "Not to put a time stamp on it, but we'll be good by the time we finish A New Hope."
"And that's if I keep the stupid-ass comments to a minimum."
"Correct," she said, smiling crookedly. "And if you tell me where you went."
"Deal," he said, taking her hand. And not letting go.
There were times when she felt like Gray was giving her air to breathe. At other times, it felt something between the both of them was pressing on her chest. Sometimes she woke up to the feeling. She couldn't cry it out of her system.
She can't tell him. She couldn't just tip her baggage on his shoulders. Not when it felt like a safe pocket of distance between the both of them. So she can't be hurt.
She couldn't figure out what was safe and what was too much.
You're hurting him, too, you selfish bitch.
Shit. Shake it off. Gray. It's just Gray.
My mommy's in the car...
There was a lot she couldn't do, but for now, Star Wars and a crapload of popcorn seemed safe.
Just a sweet reunion between two old friends.
Right?
*******