I stare into the mirror pushing my stomach out as far as it will go before sucking all the breath back in so it goes back to the way it was before. There's a bloat at the bottom of my belly that I'm putting down too much pasta last night, but it'd be nice to think it's the start of the bump.
I raise my vest top higher and move in different directions, catching a glimpse of what looks like a baby bump. It doesn't occur to me that I'm in the shopping mall toilets until two women walk through the doors, stopping to look at me.
My cheeks heat up a treat. "I'm having a baby. My first one," I say, making a pregnant belly gesture with my hand.
They glance at one another. "Bambino?"
"Yes," I say, my smile huge, "a bambino."
They clap their hands. "Tanti auguri alla nuova mamma!"
I'd imagine that they're congratulating me, so I nod my head up and down. "Thanks!"
The bathroom door opens, and mum comes inside carrying all the bags. "Are you ready, Am? The shop you wanted to visit is almost closing."
I nod. "Coming," I turn to my new Italian friends. "See you."
They smile and wave when I open the door for mum to get back out, taking a few bags from her to rest on my crutches as we make our way to the jewellers. There are two silver heart-shaped bangles in the window that I want to buy as a sorry present to mum. I apologised this morning about trying to set her up with Kyle, and she promised me that she wasn't mad, but I need a way to ease my guilt a little.
"It's extra humid today don't you think?" Mum says, keeping at my snail pace.
I blow my fringe out of my face. "Yeah, you're outside for two seconds before you need a shower again. Why don't you stop off and get us some gelato while I look at the jewellery?"
We come to a halt outside the shop, and I hope mum buys into the ice cream. I almost groan in relief when she nods, asking what flavour I want before joining the back of the queue to get inside. I hurry on into the shop, seeing the bracelets I was after in the big case near the cash register.
They shine beautifully under the lights, making me even more eager to buy them. The shop worker asks if I want to look at anything and I point to the jewellery, needing it in my hands immediately. The woman slides a white pair of cloth gloves over her hands, lifting the glass case with extra care. I take the cloth the gives me and drape it over my hand.
I can't get over the weight of the bracelet when she drops it in my hand, the diamonds shining even brighter out here. My mouth waters like a dog near steak, and I almost lift it up to smell. It's stunning, and if I'm honest, it's taking my breath away.
I bring my eyes to the woman, seeing her nod at me in recognition. Go for it, she silently says. "I'll take them both please."
"Great choice," she nods, turning around to pull open a big wooden cupboard, coming back with a small fancy looking box. "For yourself?"
"No," I shake my head, reaching for my credit card. "It's a present for my mother."
I watch, mesmerised as she lays the jewellery on the dark blue cloth, wrapping it around twice before putting the bracelets in the box, where she seals it and ties a pretty blue ribbon around the edges, meeting in the middle in a bow.
"A beautiful gift," she smiles, sliding the box into a bag. "Do you want the cleaning kit for ten euro?"
"Go on then," I say, clarifying with a yes please when she looks confused by my answer.
I pay on my card, keeping the receipt in case anything goes wrong and leave the store. I find mum almost towards the front of the queue, reading through a paper menu. The corner of the bag catches on the back of my leg when I move it so she can't see.
"Find anything you wanted, love?"
I smile. "Yes, so many things."
"I can imagine. We love a bit of jewellery, don't we? You're your mother's daughter."
I move closer to let a man and a small child through, my eyes lingering for a second longer than seems polite. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Shall I try and grab a seat outside and wait for you?"
Mum nods. "Good idea. Try to get one in the shade."
I politely pushed my way through the crowd of people, walking out of the big glass doors and into a patio area with stone floors and delicate pastel coloured furniture. There's a spot under a big umbrella that I steal, keeping the bag with mum's present inside on my knee.
"Ambrosia, is that you?"
I look up, moving my head when the umbrella disguises who's talking to me. "Gabe?" I stand to my feet and hobble over to the man I called my best friend for years. "I can't believe it. Of all the places to see you."
Gabe wraps his arms around me and squeezes until my lungs start to burn. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked over. I'm here with the boys on Frankie's stag do. What about you?"
I take in his shaggy blonde hair and tanned skin and feel suddenly at home. Gabe and I were inseparable for years, so much so that everyone thought we were a couple. That wasn't the case. We loved each other, just not romantically.
"I'm here on a cruise with mum. It's our last day. I don't want to leave. It's so beautiful."
Gabe pulls back to look at me, his eyes softening. "Still as beautiful as ever. I'm sorry I couldn't come to your wedding. My schedule is crazy this year."
And, all I can think about is the stabbing sensation in my heart. "No problem at all. I understood."
"Hey," he tilts his head to the side, the line between his eyebrows creasing. "You all right?"
I blink back the annoying tears, not wanting to embarrass myself. "Fine. Sorry, it's just overwhelming seeing you after so many years. How's Katie?"
Katie. The girl who split our friendship in two, because she was jealous of the love we held for one another.
Gabe shrugs his shoulders, a smile playing on his lips. "Travelling somewhere in the world with her husband."
I frown. "You're not together? I thought you were forever."
Gabe shakes his head. "We were kids, Am. Of course, we thought it was forever. We broke up at the end of Uni."
"Wow, I honestly thought you were the real deal."
"Nah," he says, reaching out to squeeze my hand. "What about you? Enjoying married life? I'll admit, it broke my heart a little when I got the invitation through the post. A part of me always thought we'd end up together."
I laugh, my throat closing up. "You're too handsome for me. You need to find yourself a supermodel or something."
Gabe tips his head back, and belly laughs, the sound comforting me like it always used to do. "Do you look in the mirror Am-Bam? You're smoking babe."
I slap his chest. "Now you're winding me up. Stop it."
A moment passes between us where he stares into my eyes, the colour softening into two blue pools. I look away, feeling a connection. Everything is still so raw; it wouldn't surprise me if I'm getting my feelings mixed up.
"You look sad," says Gabe, the pads of his fingers massaging my skin. "I can still read you like a book."
I bite down on my trembling lip, needing to get everything off my chest. I'm sick of putting on a brave face. I sob. "Everything is such a mess."
"Hey, shh," Gabe says, tugging me into his arms, the tips of his fingers massaging my scalp. "What's a mess? We can solve this, Am."
"No," I closed my eyes tight. "I'm never going to be able to trust him again."
Gabe's body tenses up. "Who? Enzo?"
"Yes," I sniffle. "I can't let myself forgive him. I don't think I ever will."
It's true. The hurt in my heart is too strong to let Enzo back inside. I came to the decision that I was going to leave him last night while I looked out over the ocean. Yes, it's going to hurt. But in my heart of hearts, I know it's for the best.
I rushed into things.
I guess love really is blind.
"Come and sit down. You're shaking like a leaf," Gabe says, helping me hop towards the chair.
I wipe my eyes to clear the wetness, watching him grab a seat, swizzle it around, so the back faces me where his sits down, hugging the back with his arms.
"What's going on then?" he says, patiently waiting for me to speak.
It's amazing how one person can make me feel at ease. Troubles don't feel so bad with Gabe around.
"Enzo...he kissed another woman."
The sides of Gabe's nostrils flare out, the colour of his hands changing when he makes a fist. "Oh, did he now?"
I lower my eyes. "Yes, his ex-fiancée. But, that's not the worst part. Mum kindly let us borrow dad's Beetle to use on our honeymoon. Enzo ended up lending it to Violet, his ex, and she trashed it."
The raw pain in Gabe's eyes makes me want to cry all over again. He knows how much the car means to my family. It's a shame my husband doesn't too. He reaches out for my hand. "I'm so sorry. I know that car is everything to you and your mum."
"It is," I sob, thinking about my dad sat in the driver's seat, telling me stories while we drove to school. "It's a part of dad, you know?"
"I do, Am-Bam. It's your last piece of him."
"Yes," I say, squeezing his fingers tight. "You always get me."
"I spent most of my life with you. I think I've held you more times over the years, over your dad than I've spent breathing. I get your pain. I understand it."
Gabe lost his mum, Angie, to breast cancer when we were thirteen. Angie was his life, and it tore him to pieces when he lost her forever. I think we bonded more over the loss of our parents than anything else. It just made sense to us.
"How's your dad?"
Gabe gives a half-smile. "Crazy as ever. I think he's on a biking holiday with his friends. I can never keep up with him."
"Good, I'm glad he's happy."
Gabe brings his chair closer. "What about your mum?"
I hesitate. "Struggling, even though she puts on a happy face."
"Life's shit," he says, and I couldn't agree more.
"It sure is," I reply, noticing that our fingers are still tied together. I give a squeeze. "I miss you, Gabriel."
Gabe moves our arms up and down. "I've always missed you. I think about you every day. If something happens, my first thought is to tell you."
"Really?" I laugh, my cheeks heating.
"Yeah," he nods.
We sit in a comfortable silence until mum's shocked voice says, "Well I never. Gabriel O'Connor, is that you?"
Gabe releases my fingers to climb off the chair taking the gelato from mum's hands to put on the table before giving her a big cuddle. "It's me, beautiful lady."
Mum squeezes him hard. "Good to see you. Wow, this is a blast from the past."
"Not anymore. I'm sticking around from now on," he looks at me. "For good."
For good.
"Let me sit down, and we can have a good catch up," mum says, grabbing a seat on the other side of the table.
Gabe resumes his backwards seat, staring at mum. "Ambrosia's been getting me up to speed on life."
Mum looks at us both, "So you know about the baby?"
No.
I was leaving that detail out of things. At least until I've spoken to Enzo."
Gabe blinks several times. "Er...no, we never mentioned babies."
Mum covers her mouth, eyes darting to me. "I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Guess you were going to find out someday. I'm pregnant."
"You're pregnant, and he kissed someone else?" says Gabe, fire in his eyes.
"No," I rush to Enzo's defence, not able to help it. "We didn't know I was pregnant at the time."
"God, Am-Bam. You're gonna be a mummy?"
I place my hand over my stomach and feel like crying. These blooming hormones. "I am. It's a scary thought, huh?"
"You're going to be the best. I know it," he winks, sliding my gelato over. "Better get eating this if you're feeding for two."
I laugh. "I'm sure that's a myth."
"I'd use it as an excuse. Unlimited chocolate? Yes, please."
"You know me so well," I giggle, delving the spoon inside the soft ice cream.
"Always. For good, remember? I'm dead good with babies me," replies Gabe, dipping his finger into my dessert.
And, just like that, we were friends again. I lost track of time as we all talk over one another, laughing our heads off at Gabe's dad jokes. Ending the afternoon with mum's gift and you guessed it - we cried rivers.
...
Hello, lovelies!!
I'd like to start by apologising for not updating. My work schedule has been a little crazy, but I'm hoping for it to calm down this month, so I'll have plenty of time to write!
Who likes Gabe? 🙋🏻
Thank you so much for your patience.
Hugs,
Holly 😘