" things may shift in life, but wherever you land is where you need to be."
I felt like I was ready to tear myself apart, I began pacing back and forth while Nana sat there smiling while sipping away at her cup of tea.
"Nana, I need help," I cry out, dragging my hands through my hair. At first I thought I could handle this by myself but just the thought of Ben makes me want to tear myself into pieces.
He completely disappeared and I haven't heard from him since.
"What do you know about Cupid?" I ask, she looks up at me and grins widely while leaning back in her rocking chair.
I always hated the look she gave me, where she knew something I didn't.
"Cupid is the God of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection," Nana says, rocking back in her chair slowly as her cat jumped up on her lap and curled into a ball.
I sat across from her with my hands placed in my lap to keep from fidgeting while my leg bounced uncontrollably.
"He is the son of the love goddess Venus and son of the god of war, Mars," Nana explains, "His bow and arrow are what give him his power," She added on.
I shook my head while my mind raced, always coming back to one thought - Ben.
"Anyone shot with one of his arrows is filled with uncontrollable desire," She says and I grumble under my breath.
This couldn't be what my life's come to, maybe this was one very real seeming dream. Perhaps I was in a coma and this was all part of my imagination.
"Why'd you want to know dear?" She asks and I place my face in my hands, feeling my body slightly shake.
I grunt out and drag a hand through my hair nervously while forcing a small smile, "Well - uh, you see-" I drawl out but she began laughing, cutting me off of my embarrassing attempt to actually talk.
"You were hit with one of his arrows weren't you?" She asks, and when my head shot up quickly and my jaw dropped, that's when she began laughing.
The cats meows loudly as she goes into a laughing fit, "Nana!" I cry out.
"Oh honey, the arrows doesn't make you do anything you didn't already want to do," She explains and I felt my chest tighten at her words.
Crazy old lady say what?
I shook my head, "What do you mean by that?" I question and she giggles again.
"Honey, the arrow just gives you a nudge, it intensifies feelings that were already there, and he never does it randomly so you were chosen for a reason," She explains and I grumble out and lie back.
Looking up at the ceiling I silently curse god, "But why?" I whine out.
"Depends, who was the other one hit?" She asks and I felt my stomach tie in knots.
I scratch the back of my head awkwardly, "What makes you think someone else was hit?" I retort and she laughs out once again.
"Because Cupid is the whole reason me and your grandfather got together, he doesn't just have one target, he has two," She says and I feel my cheeks burn in embarrassment.
I wanted to cry, because the only ruin running through my mind was Ben. He's all I thought about and all I wanted was to put my head through a wall.
"Benjamin," I blurt, and the way my Nana looked at me, it was like she just had a stroke.
She looked puzzled and that began to concern me because this woman was the chillest person you could meet.
"A werewolf and a vampire, he knows it's forbidden so there's obviously more going on," She says.
I throw my hands up in the air while crying out, "Well what is it?" I exclaimed. She sat there and smiled.
"I wish I could tell you, but that's something even I don't know," She replies.
My life was in shambles
_____________________________
Everything was out of whack, did that make sense? It seemed as though nothing made sense anymore, my mind has gone haywire and my heart was a chaotic whirlwind of emotions right now.
And the only damn thing I could think of was Ben. I wanted to pull my hair out and scream at the top of my lungs but I knew none of that would help.
It felt like he was under my skin and I couldn't shake the feeling, I wanted to rip myself apart because of one person.
Everything about him, just his name drove me insane, and the way he said my name - made my insides twist.
I shook my head while sitting silently in my bedroom, everyone was out for the night and my window was wide open.
I needed to clear my head but it was impossible.
My window creaked, and I shot up quickly when he swung himself inside my bedroom. His feet landing lightly on my bedroom floor.
He brought a hand through his hair while my heart began racing, and I'm sure he could hear it.
Everything about him, my body was screaming and my head was a mess.
He looked tired.
"I thought we were avoiding each other?" I questioned.
He rose an eyebrow, his eyes darker then usual as he looked down at me. There was so much space between us.
He took a tentative step forward, causing the atmosphere in the room to change almost immediately.
My hands shook by my sides slightly and I gulped, his eyes never wandered away from my face and it felt like my heart was ready to give out at any moment now.
I stood in my spot and watched him as he continued forward slowly, "It isn't a great idea for us to be around each other," He says, his voice coming out deep, causing shivers to run down my spine.
I shift around silently and finally look up, he was now standing in front of me. Looking down at me with those alluring eyes.
My fingers twitched, wanting to reach out and touch him.
"And yet you still came here?" I reply, my voice shaking slightly.
A small satisfied smile rested on his lips, like he knew the effect he was having on me. How he was driving me completely out of my mind.
"I had to check in and make sure you were still alive." He shot back.
I roll my eyes and chewed my bottom lip, it was hard being around him right now.
"My heads not really screwed on right, and I'm not sure what I want," I admit, feeling heat rise to my face.
I was broken, shattered and bruised. But right now, none of that mattered.
"You should be careful of what you say," His voice came out deep growl and he was looking down at me with hungry eyes.
I smile up at him, "Is this Benjamin or his beast?" I question playfully.
A wicked smirk covered his lips as he watched me, "I'm both, baby." He replied.
His beast always riled me up. Tugging at my heart.
"I'm not sure I'm strong enough to fight this," I whisper and his head snapped up.
He moved closer, his arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me into his chest. I lied my palms flat against his chest.
Everything inside me was screaming. But all I could think about was him, all I could feel was him, all I could smell was him and all I could see was him.
He consumed me.
There was no escaping him and I didn't want to run from it, "I just want to give in." I added on quietly.
His grip around me tightened and he pulled me impossibly closer. He pushes his nose against mine, causing a smile to lift up on my lips. Even if he was in human form, he still had wolf tendencies.
My hands slide up his chest and wrap around his shoulders, my fingers slipping into his hair.
His hands cup my face and his thumbs run across my skin softly. He was a true paradox, so cold yet so warm.
"There's no denying you." He says, his eyes meeting mine momentarily.
My heart raced and he leaned down quickly, capturing my lips with his.
I tug at his hair and he held me to him while moving his lips against mine. There was this electricity surging between us and I knew I could spend eternity right here.
He catches my bottom lip gently between his teeth, he tugs lightly before pulling away. When his lips left mine a small whimper escaped between my lips and he growled.
His lips landed on my once again, this time the pace quicker. His grip around me tightening as he held me there.
I shiver under his hold when his tongue licks across my lip, asking for entrance. Almost immediately I granted it.
That was the one thing that always confused me the most with Ben. He never had to ask twice, and the answer was always yes.
His tongue moves against mine, savouring every inch of my mouth. Memorizing every curve and slant.
He kissed me and I grab one of his hands , placing it on my chest - over my racing heart beat.
I sucked in a breath and he paused, pulling away slightly, "You do this to me," I whisper out.
Everything spun around us and the only thing I could focus on was him.
"You just keep on making it worse for me." He growled out, reconnecting our lips.
I never once hesitated with kissing him back, because with him it felt alright.
I smiled against his lips and I knew I was surely going to hell. The lord had a messed up plan for me, he knew everything about this was a sin. It was forbidden.
But perhaps that's why it felt like this, Cupid amplified our feelings. He set our emotions free and now we were staining each other. But it felt so right.