Chapter One- Welcome Home.
“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.”
- Edgar Allan Poe
I had always loved taking long car rides, it always gave me time to think, even from a young age I would sit in the back and just contemplate everything as I watched the road disappear beneath us. The soft hum of the engine and the gentle swaying of the vehicle had overtime become therapeutic for me and nine times out of ten lulled me to sleep in moments. But, not anymore. Now the sound of an engine was something to be compared to wailing cats and the gentle rocking of the car made my stomach nauseous. Actually I don't enjoy much these days and it all begun with one trip in particular.
There was nothing but green fields on either side of the car, normally I would have happily sat back to enjoy the beautiful view but not today. Not while my father sped down the long country road so fast that everything there was to see became one big blur and definitely while a sick feeling of anticipation whirled in my gut.
My father and I used to do this all the time, back when I could standing being in the same car as him for a long period of time or for any amount really. I recalled fondly of how we would blast the radio and sing along to any song that played, not caring if we were tuneless or didn't know the words, once there was no one around to hear us we didn't mind. Sometimes my mother would accompany us, although not frequently as she claimed our bad singing gave her a headache. As true as that may be it was only half the story, she knew it was our daddy/daughter time and chose not to intrude on that.
That was when she was alive though, when everything made sense and when my father cared enough to spend anytime with me at all. I miss those days now. Actually I crave them as I recall the bittersweetness of how things used to be.
"Addie it wont be long now."
My fathers voice came from the front drivers seat as his eyes flashing up to meet mine in the rear view mirror. People always commented on how I had his eyes, deep royal blue in color and perfectly round in shape, back then I was proud to look like him, but now when I see those eyes, cold and surrounded by wrinkles, I wished I could rip them out.
"Perhaps I would be more excited if you actually told me where you were taking me."
I hissed back. My eyes going back to the window so I no longer had to look at him. When my Father had burst into my bedroom that morning and declared I would be joining him for a 'family outing', I had been reluctant at best. I even tried locking myself in the bathroom for twenty minutes just to see how long it would take for him to give up and leave. Normally I could count on one hand how long it took for him to become bored of my tantrums, but today he had insisted I come along and in the end- as always- he won.
"Addison, please stop whining, my poor head can't take anymore of your screechy little voice. Do we have any painkillers dear, she has given me such a headache."
This voice came from the front of the car also, however it wasn't my fathers. No, this was the very bane of my existence, my reason for hating my father and everything that goes with him. You see, after my mother passed, my father being the very sentimental person he is, mourned her for about four months. It was then he met Elizabeth Clarke, the love of his life. She was 34, ten years his junior, beautiful, smart and a grade A bitch.
At the time they met she was his secretary which led me to believe that the affair between them started while my mother was still alive. Back then I wondered if he was actually capable of that kind of betrayal but now I wouldn't put it past the sneaky bastard.
They dated for three weeks before the got married, which meant my mother was barely dead six months. Dad had never been one to enter into things lightly but it would seem Elizabeth was the exception to the rule.
Now with those thoughts circling my head I stared at her from where I sat in the back of the car. I longed to grip her fake blond curls in my hand and pull out each and every dyed strand from her head. Hell, on more then one occasion I had tried but my dad was always there to stop me. He would yell and call me any vile name he could think of while trying to get my scratching hands and kicking feet of his precious little gold digger, the places changed and the days but the outcome was always the same, she was victorious and I was the spoilt little girl who couldn't handle loosing her daddy.
"You know Addison, I actually pity you."
Elizabeth began. Once she had seen she couldn't get a rise out of me the first time she would always say something worse, something more hurtful and laced with malice. Usually I could ignore her, but from time to time she would cross the line and I would snap like a dry twig. I had a feeling today would be one of those times, I could see the glimmer in her eye as she fixed her face in a small compact mirror.
"I mean, your so young but already you've had to go through so much. First your mother, then your father remarries and then what happened to that poor girl, oh what was her name..Clara..Cl-.."
She didn't get to finish her devious little speech. As I had foreseen she had taken things too far, like always. Suddenly my chest became tight and my breathing was labored, I knew what was about to happen and from the look of cold fear on dear Elizabeths face, she did too.
Suddenly the world went black and I was no longer in control of my body. It was the same scenario over and over again, she would provoke me and I would just let her keep going until I blacked out. It used to only happen every couple of weeks when the stress became too much for me to deal with but, lately the black outs were becoming more and more regular.
I remember the first time like it happened only yesterday. It was two days after the 'Incident' as the police liked to call it. I was sitting in the kitchen staring at a plate of food I had no intention of eating, when she came in screaming, a little blond hurricane, hell bent on spewing her vile accusations at me while destroying the last of my dignity, almost how a twister destroys a house of cards --complete enialation.I vaguely listened as she yelled on about how someone at the club had gotten wind of what happened and now, as gossip does amongst the rich, it was circling around like verbal fire. At first I ignored her, but the more worked up she got the harsher her insults got until the point where I just couldn't take it. I blacked out.
When I eventually came around I was being pulled off her by my fathers strong arms. After, only god knows how long, I had finally calmed down enough to take in the situation. Elizabeth lay in a crumpled heap on the floor, her face was badly busted with blood coming from her nose and a small cut on her lower collegian filled lip. Crimson liquid seeped from four long scratches across her chest and judging from the blood caked under my finger nails I had made them deep. I wasn't a fighter, I had never been even when I was a kid and bullies used me as entertainment I never fought back. But, what heartache, stress and hatred will do to a person would astound you.
Slowly I brought my bruised fists up to my face, only to gag at the sight of blond hair clumped in my tightly clenched fists. I was a monster but, as much as I tried, I couldn't bring myself to feel guilty about what I had done to her, she deserved it then and every other time since.
"Addison!! Snap out of it!"
My fathers voice broke through the red haze. I was already beginning to come around but just for good measure dear old daddy added a quick back hander across my right cheek just to make sure. Hissing in pain I rubbed my raw face and looked around to see the damage I had caused this time.
Thankfully I was still in the car, safely strapped in with my seat belt. Across from me Elizabeth smiled, her face unharmed and her hair still sitting perfectly ontop of her head. Apparently I hadn't been quick enough and my father managed to restrain me before I could get to her. Too bad.
"Get out of the car. Now!"
My father yelled while pulling the seatbelt from my body. Gasping I reached down to release the belt, but before I even had time to pull it all the way off me my father had swung open the car door and pulled me out by the front of my shirt. Frightened I tired to push him off me but his hold was too strong. With tons more force the necessary he dragged me to the back of the car. As thoughts of being left out here swirled around my still slightly foggy head my father quickly popped the trunk and pulled out a suit case. I recognized it as the one I kept under my bed and I didn't need to guess what was in it.
Faintly the sound of Elizabeths heels crunching across the ground met my ears and within seconds she was standing in front of me, a smug smile on her lips.
"Welcome to your new home Addie."
Her smile twisted into something much more sinister then smug now and for the first time I noticed we were parked outside a building.
A very familiar building too. I would recognize that red bricked mansion anywhere, it was the same place that still haunted my sleep with visions of vacant, lifeless eyes, padded rooms and white lab coats.
Suddenly I was convulsing, bucking wildly against my fathers strong hold, trying as hard as I could to break free. They couldn't do this to me. I wasn't insane..Was I?
I was nothing like her, nothing like her at all.
"Addison stop screaming!"
My father's voice boomed over my own. I hadn't even realized I was screaming but I would be damned if I stopped.
"Please! Daddy you can't do this to me. I'm not like her I swear..Please!!"
I tried to appeal to him, hell, I would have kissed Elizabeths shoe if it meant I didn't have to go into that place again.
"Shh little girl, shh."
My so called father cooed into my ear as he tried to stop me from breaking free. If I had, I have no doubt in my mind I would have killed him, jail would have been better then that place. Hell would have been better.
Sobs broke through my body as I tried to kick, bite and claw my way free. At some point my screaming must have alerted people inside the building because before I knew it two large male nurses were at my side. One took hold of me as the other fiddled with something in his hands. In my hysterical state I couldn't make out what it was, my focus remained on the one person in the world who was meant to care for me, to protect me and yet here he was handing me over to these people.
I hated him. I hated her. But, above all I hated life for being so cruel to me.
If there was one thing I knew about The Madison Owens Home For Disturbed Women it was, once you enter it's dark halls, once you clapped eyes upon the inhabitants, you were never the same again. This place had a way of sticking with you and I have seen it's affects first hand.
"Relax now Miss Owens, this will only hurt for a second."
I felt the irony of those words more then the prick of the needle and as my world went dark around me I never took my eyes from my father, he showed no remorse, no guilt..Nothing.
As the liquid they had injected me with finally complete it's course around my body I swore I would find away out of this place, even if I had to kill to do it.