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lost in you !
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" Once in a while when I wake up I find myself crying, " Makoto fluttered her eyes shut, exhaling shakily as she forced out the rhythmic tapping of the autumn rain against her ear," The dream I must've have I can't never recall. But the sensation that I've lost something , lingers for a long time. "
She pushed herself further against the cushion of the sleek black chair, desperately wishing for it to just swallow her.
She wanted to be whisked away from the dull room.
She wanted the incessant ticking of the clock to stop.
She wanted the ringing in her ears to silence.
She wanted him to end the session.
But she was unfortunately stuck there, forced to trace the constellations of dust scattered across the stark white roof of the office just to make it look as if she was thinking, just so he could give her more time to calm herself.
As if on cue the man beside her heaved out a sigh, and she could hear his pen tap against the writing board as he slid them ontop of the glass table. She sat upright, not wanting to meet his eyes.
She knew what he was going to say.
" We've talked about this, it's just a dream Makoto-chan. You can relax."
Her fingers curled lightly," It's not just a dream."
" Then what is it?" He asked, not bothering to hide his irritation towards her answer. He rubbed two fingers against the bridge of his nose," If it isn't a dream what is it ?"
She clenched her teeth together, inhaling," It's real."
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" Makoto."
The voice startled her, causing her to drop the umbrella she was struggling to open , turning around she sighed shakily when the familiar face greeted her.
" You shocked me Hideo-kun," She bent down to pick up the umbrella, but he beat her to it, apologetically smiling as he handed it to the woman.
" I didn't mean to.You've been very jumpy lately, did everything went well inside ?" He shoved his hands inside the pockets of his worn out jeans, and she averted her eyes away from the soaked patches of his shirt.
" It- it was fine. Nothing out of the usual. How long have you been waiting outside for me ? " She avoided the topic as she stepped out into the rain, the automatic glass doors of the clinic closing behind her.
" Not long."
He was lying, she could tell.
" Just a few minutes, I was on my way home from the market and I decided to drop by, to walk you home. We're neighbors afterall so it's no big deal."
She forced a smile, " Next time, go home first Hideo-Kun. It's cruel of you to leave your big sister alone at home to worry."
" She's only twelve minutes older than me," he chuckled, ducking under her umbrella as the grey clouds above them began to cluster.
Silence accompanied the two of them for a while, until Hideo couldn't contain his curiosity anymore, and by the time they entered the next street he began to voice out his curiosity.
" Did you, dream about him again?"
If it wasn't for the impending storm she would've stopped in her tracks, but she only gripped the handle tighter.
" I did."
" When was the last time that happened ?"
A motorcycle sped by them, its engines coughing and sputtering as it tried to outrun the rain. Makoto's eyes were fixated on the cherry red color of the vehicle, until it finally disappeared out of her sight. A gust of wind swept through her.
" Ten years ago."
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" You want the truth ?"
The heavy footsteps marching outside the door echoed throughout the walls, and he could hear the distant yet booming laughter of his brother follow not long after.
The woman infront of him scowled, her eyes clouded with a mixture of worry and disappointment.
" Yes. No more lies Loki."
She strode across the room to him, cupping his hands in her own as a silent plea.
" Don't lie to your mother."
Giving in, Loki stepped back, letting the illusion around him disappear, revealing his crimson stained armor underneath.Patches of dirt and ash littered itself across the golden embroidery, and it exposed the litter of scratches against the sides of his cheeks and shoulder. The fabric covering the side of his torso had been ripped to shreds, revealing a gash that deepened her frown.
" Oh Loki, why didn't you tell the others ? Why did you have to cover it up all the way home ? Thor could've helped you-"
" I don't need his help," Loki snapped, and he winced once he realized that he had been standing for far too long, and he leaned himself against the door. His mother following shortly.
" It was just a bildgesnipe mother, nothing more," he grunted, once she started to apply her herbs against the wound," Nothing less."
" It was wise of you to come into the infirmary to see me, but it was foolish of you to not have asked for help. It doesn't hurt to do so, Loki."
Something heavy crept its way against his heart, he didn't mean to make her upset, but then again, it was bound to happen.
" I told you that it was a bad idea to go after that Bildgesnipe," Frigga tsk-ed," I've told you a thousand times, but the two of you wouldn't listen. You are both just as stubborn as your father."
She dipped a cloth inside the water, twisting it before abruptly pressing it against his side, causing Loki to hiss.
" What do you have to prove to him anyways ? "
Loki stiffened, eyes boring into his mother's.
" Everything. "
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" What's her name ?"
" I beg your pardon ?" Loki stared at his mother, looking at her as if she has another head.
" The girl, what's her name ?"
Breaking away from his shock he went back to adjusting the straps on his arms," There's no girl. We spent the last week hunting Bildgesnipes, mother, not women."
Chuckling,Frigga patted the side of her son's cheek," You may be the god of lies and mischief my boy, but you are terrible when it comes to women."
Loki forced himself to hide the hint of amusement in his eyes," What makes you think there's one ?"
" Thor said that you seemed rather distracted throughout the hunt, that was why you got attacked in the first place. Secondly, you were always avoiding sleep whenever you can, you always volunteered yourself to do night watches when clearly you haven't slept for hours. Lastly, he said that you would always be looking around. Not because you were being careful, but it was as if you were looking for someone."
" Mother enough with this nonsense," Loki gritted his teeth, making his way towards the golden doors. But Frigga wasn't done yet, and she tugged the sleeves of his shirt.
" Where do you think you're going young man ? Don't tell me that this is nonsense when clearly, it's not. You like her Loki-"
" Don't, " Loki pulled himself out of her grip, trying to hide the quivering of his fingers," Please, don't start mother."
Frigga sensed that she had struck a cord, and as an apology she stepped back, smiling softly even though her eyes reflected the pity she had for her youngest son.
" Would you at least tell me her name?"
Loki took one last glance at the infirmary, his disheveled and torn armor has been replaced by a new one, his wounds patched and hidden under his illusions.The balcony windows were opened wide, and a cluster of birds flew past the afternoon sky.
The rustling of trees outside drowned his ears as he croaked out an answer.
" I don't know her name."
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