It was by luck that I ran into Weston and Ben on my way out of the hospital and that they told me James was on his way if I wanted to stick around for him.
It was a curse that he never showed up, and never answered any of our calls.
I was mad because I was losing the nerve I had gained from talking to Mariah, Mariah was mad because she wanted to show off Grace, and Ben and Weston were mad because James was their source to get high.
"I'm going to his house," I declared after more than an hour and a half of waiting.
Ben and Weston paid no mind to me, but Mariah said, "Good for you,"
The day had fallen to night as I drove to the Callihan house, and I pondered what I would say when I got there. What if I ran into Spencer? Mariah said to deal with him later, but I'm not totally sure how to do that if I run into him. And how does one declare their undying love? Are their rules to follow? Can one do it wrong? These were the questions- silly as they may be- that were flying through my mind.
That is, until I got to his house to see cop cars looming in the driveway.
The front door was open, and I could see the silhouette of figures inside. James was sitting on the front porch steps and didn't even look up as I pulled directly in front of the house.
Nearly jumping out of my car, I sprinted over to where he was sitting with head in his hands.
"What the hell is going on?" I demanded.
James looked up at me with a confused expression, as if he didn't even know I had arrived. "Well," he choked out, cleared his throat, and continued with: "Natalia's dad found a stash of weed in her room, and she told him she got it from me. He called the cops and I'm pretty sure you can guess the rest."
"Nat did what?" I asked in disbelief.
He looked at his fumbling fingers. "I'm fucked, Morgan,"
I took a seat next to him, trying to process what was going on. Why would she do that? That was the furthest thing from the truth, and everyone knew it.
"But you never sold anything to her!" I whisper-yelled, conscious of the cops that were not so far away.
His laugh was humorless, forced even. "Do you really think that matters when they searched my room and found all of my shit? Morgan, I could got to prison for this."
I put a hand on his cheek and forced him to look at me. "I'm not going to let that happen," I told him.
He placed a hand over my own and gave me a meek smile. "How?" he asked.
It was a valid question, considering I had no power in this situation. I was still in shock that Nat was the one that caused this. If she was looking for someone to blame, I would have expected her to blame me. With us being in a fight, and her knowing that I sold drugs (though I never actually admitted that to her), I was an easy target.
"Why didn't she tell them it was me?" I said instead of answering his question.
"Morgan, I'm glad it was me if the only other option was naming you. You can't get in trouble for this," that was the first firm thing he had said tonight.
"No, you can't get in trouble for this. They have no proof that you actually sold drugs to anyone," I pointed out. "And usually for people that are caught only once with possession of drugs are let off and just have to complete the twelve step program or something. I mean, depending on how much they found in your room, you could be okay, and-"
"Wow," he said, turning his face to kiss my palm and then bring our hands from his face and intertwined our fingers. "You've really done your research."
"I figured I would before I decided selling."
"I should have known," he chuckled. "But can we talk about something else, please? I have a feeling this whole drug thing is the only thing I'm going to be talking about with my parents for a long time now."
I sighed. "I guess,"
"Why are you here, Morgan?" his voice was hushed and he was looking down at our fingers. His thumb was tracing patterns on the back of my hand.
"You didn't show up to the hospital. Everyone was getting mad at you, so I offered to come and see what was up. I was the least threatening one," I say, and I paused a long while before I tried to finish why I was really here. "And I came to tell you that I lo-"
But of course, before I could get it out, Mrs. Callihan's voice came from behind us.
Every time, I spat in my head.
"Morgan, what are you doing here?" She demanded. "You need to leave."
Pulling my hands away from James I stood up to face her, crossing my arms in defiance. "I'm not leaving." I stated.
"This doesn't involve you," Mr. Callihan added.
I turned to him with eyebrows raised. "Actually it does," In more ways than you know, I thought. I was having a stare down with his parents. They had never seen me act like this, especially toward them. I had always put a smile on my face and helped out around their house because for a while there, this was the only place I had left to go. There was a long silence as I stood there glaring at the two of them, and as they exchanged looks as if asking each other silently what to do now.
But James broke the silence.
"They're right," James said, standing up beside me. "You should go,"
"But-" I protested.
"I'll be fine," he said in reassurance, but I think it was more for himself than for me. I looked at him for a long while, trying to understand why he didn't want me there, but I gave in and nodded my head in reluctant agreement.
"Can we have a minute?" he asked his parents and the two police officers that were like shadows in the doorway of his house.
Though they seemed as if they would object, Mr. and Mrs. Callihan exchanged a looked and nodded in unison, turning to go back into the house. This time they closed the door behind them.
James walked me over to my car and I leaned against the drivers side door. He tucked my hair behind my ears and let his hand linger on my cheek before resting his hand on the frame of my car. "You never did finish telling me why you came over,"
I smiled at him, wondering why this moment had to be so bittersweet. I knew I had to tell him this now, because there might not be a chance for later. "I was kind of hoping that there would be a right moment or something and that I didn't have to just blurt it out like I do now,"
His fingers started playing with the tips of my hair.
"I know a lot of shit has gone on with us lately, and that I've made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you and me,"
He took a step closer to me.
"So I just wanted to apologize for running out on you every time things weren't going perfectly,"
He stepped so that our legs and hips were touching ever so lightly.
"And I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize that you're the only person who has stood by my side through everything,"
He ran his hands down my sides to rest on my hips, and rested his forehead against mine.
"And I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you that I love you," my voice was barely above a whisper.
His eyes met mine for a moment before his lips came crashing into mine. I responded instantly, wrapping my arms around his neck and tangling my fingers in his hair. James pulled me closer, locking me against him.
Our kiss was fitful, passionate, desperate, longing, and way too short. He pulled away from me first, breathing heavily and resting his forehead against mine again.
"Finally," he said, laughing.
I laughed along with him and kissed him again.
When we pulled away this time, he smiled at me and said, "Oh, and I love you, too, by the way," I punched him lightly in the stomach when he said this, and we kissed again.
"I should go," he told me. I wanted to keep him there with me forever, but I knew that there was nothing we could do. I felt my eyes well up with tears.
He placed a kiss one my head. "It's going to be okay,"
"Promise?" I said meekly.
"Promise," he kissed me again and let this one linger, before he pulled away from me and when into his house to face his fate.
***
I was acting irrationally. I knew that. Attacking Nat wasn't going to prevent James from getting in trouble, and it certainly wasn't going to change the fact that we had to exchange our 'I love you's' at such a shitty time.
Needless to say, I was pissed.
By the time I got to Nat's house, it was nearly ten o'clock, but all of the lights were on in their house. Not that them being off would have stopped me from barging in.
I didn't stop banging on her door until a man, her dad I presume, answered the door.
"Can I help you?" he was obviously annoyed, but I didn't have the patience to care.
"I need to speak with Natalia," I demanded.
"She's unable to talk right now, we are in the middle of family matters."
Fucking parents and their family matters.
I couldn't help myself from scoffing at him. "I have some matters of my own that I would like to discuss with her," and with that, I shoved passed him despite his very vocal protestations.
Nat was sitting on the couch in the living room with her mom standing in front of her with her hands on her hips. They were definitely in the middle of an intervention, and I was happy that she, too, was paying the price for what she had done.
The two of them turned and stared at me when I walked in, and I was followed by Nat's father.
I could practically feel his disapproving stare putting holes in the back of my head.
"Nat, I need to talk to you," I demanded. She looked like she was going to jump on any opportunity she could get to escape this room, even though she could see how pissed I was plainly written on my face.
Her father shoved me to the side so that he could stand in the middle of the living room, blocking separating the two of us. "Natalia, what is this about?"
She shrugged her shoulders. I rolled my eyes and actually gave him a response. "I'm here to discuss her life choices and the mistake she has just made. Believe it or not, I'm probably more angry than the two of you."
Both of her parents eyed me, but her mothers gaze was much softer.
"Hon, this is Morgan. She's been nothing but a good influence with Natalia, and I think we should give them some time alone," her mother told her father. He threw his hands up and shook his head, which I took as an indication we were okay to talk.
I headed toward the stairs without looking behind me to see if she was following. We entered her room, and she shut the door behind us.
"I see why you never talk about your dad. He's an asshole," was my lead off.
She didn't say anything to me, and just sat with her legs hanging off of the edge of her bed.
"What? Nothing sarcastic to say?" I asked snidely. When she still didn't say anything, I said: "Fine, I'll start. What is wrong with you? You were so desperate to deflect the blame off you getting caught with weed that you had to rat out James?"
"You don't get it," she said.
I laughed. "You're right, I don't get it. That's why I'm here," Dumb bitch, I added mentally.
Nat looked anywhere but at me. "You don't understand how much pressure I was under. My parents weren't going to let me off without naming where I got it from," she tried.
"Okay, fine. Then why did you name James?"
Looking me straight in the eyes, she actually had the nerve to say: "Because I was trying to protect you."
"I'm just going to call bullshit to all of your excuses, so don't even try."
"You can think what you want, Morgan. Why would I make that up?" her voice was a lot lower than mine, like she was actually in control of her words and her actions. I, on the other hand, allowed my rage to take control.
And my rage drove me into a laughing fit at this. "Are you kidding me? All you do is lie and make up some story that doesn't put your image in jeopardy." I could tell she was starting to get worked up as her cheeks started to turn red. "But this, what you've done, is low. Even for you."
Her face contorted into anger. "If I had seen this side of you before we would have never become friends,"
"Actually, if you hadn't fucked one of my best friends we would have never become friends, and we wouldn't be having this conversation," I threw back at her, referring to the brief fling she had with Weston.
She rolled her eyes at this. "You should just be happy it was your little boyfriend I threw under the bus and not you." she said it as if I should genuinely be happy it wasn't me who was under investigation for the distribution of drugs.
"Wooooooow," I drug out the word dramatically. "Thank you so much for screwing my best friend over and not me! I so appreciate that, and I can't believe I overlooked that small fact,"
Natalia glared at me for a moment before she sighed and her expression relaxed a bit. "I know you probably won't believe me, but I want you to know that I didn't name you because I really do care for you, and I really hope that we can move passed this and be friends."
The funny thing was, I think she legitimately thought that this would breeze over and I would forget this ever happened and forgive her. But I could not explain with words how incredibly idiotic that idea was and how stupid this made her look.
"I can forgive a lot of things, but I will never ever be over this. It is actually paining me to look at you right now, because James doesn't deserve this." I yelled.
She scoffed. "Just because your blinded and think that he's perfect doesn't mean he didn't deserve it."
I didn't even know how to grace her with an answer.
So I didn't say anything. Instead, I let my anger take control of my body and I slapped her with all of the force I could muster. She gave a shriek and cupped her already red cheek in her hands.
"Go fuck yourself," I muttered as I walked out of her house.
When I got outside, I collapsed into my car and started sobbing.
Even though hitting her made me feel better, it still couldn't help James and his situation. And it only increased my feeling utterly and completely helpless.
_______________________________________________________________________
Alright my darlings, we are nearing the end here! I know, I'm sad too :( But that's no reason to feel discouraged! In fact, that should be your incentive to harass me into continuing this to completion in the speedy fashion these past chapters have had.
Also, I apologize for so many fuck words in this. My baaaaad.
I LOVE YOU ALL XOXO