I stared, half-afraid, half-hoping if I was still asleep. But the scowl on his face and the impatient sound he made convinced me I wasn't. I blew out a breath, sucked in another one, trying to ride out the pain. Finally, he spoke.
"You're awake."
"That tends to happen when people make noise while I'm sleeping."
His eyebrows shot up but he made no attempt to apologize. He shrugged. "I didn’t want to miss you."
I shoved myself up to a sitting position and jerked my chin toward my IV. "Uh, not sure you noticed, but it's a hospital. Not a lot of places I'd be."
A muscle in his jaw twitched but he said nothing.
I sighed. "Look. Ollie. I’m groggy, I hurt pretty much all over and I’m sick. Are you going to tell me why you woke me up or did you just need someone to glare at?"
A flash of teeth. I think it was a smile but it was too brief to be certain.
“My sister says I should apologize to you. Ranger says I should apologize to you. So… I’m apologizing to you. And you can call me Adam. Only the guys in my squad call me Ollie.”
Adam. Such a beautiful name.
“Ranger calls you Ollie.”
Another flash of teeth. My stomach tightened.
“Okay. The guys in my squad and Ranger call me Ollie.”
As apologies go, that was the lamest excuse for one I’d ever heard. But I inclined my head graciously because it was just easier. “Okay.” I figured he’d leave now that he’d performed his sister-and-nurse-imposed penance but he just watched me, his forehead creased.
“So… that’s it? You’re not gonna make me work for it, you’re not gonna fight me?”
“Why would I do that?”
Adam blew out a frustrated sigh. “Because that was a bad apology. I know it and I’m pretty sure you do, too. So why let me off the hook so easily?”
I shrugged, forgetting it hurts. Through the lance of pain that speared me, I said tightly, “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.”
His eyes narrowed and pushed his chair closer. “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?”
“I thought it was pretty self-explanatory.”
He sighed again. “Fine. Then tell me why it doesn’t matter.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me the damn truth. I said something totally out of line and then gave you a pretty crappy apology and you’re still sitting there like you’re in a coma. Why aren’t you angry?”
“You want me to be angry?”
“No! Goddamn it.” His hands flew to his hair, tugged. His was long and shaggy and it now stood on end. “I just want to know what you’re really thinking. You’re like a… a mannequin or something.”
My teeth clenched at that.
“Ah ha.” He pointed a finger at me like he’d just won a prize or something. “You didn’t like hearing that.”
“No. Are you happy now?”
He grinned and I gasped. Twin dimples framed perfect white teeth. Sparkling eyes, the pain lines erased from his face, he looked nothing like the hateful person I knew he could be.
“Yes, actually, I am. Now I know you’re real and not a toy, like I said this morning.” His smile faded. “I was out of line and I am genuinely sorry. You were just trying to help, I know that.”
“But you don’t want my help.” It wasn’t intentional, the slight inflection I’d put on the pronoun. But he detected it anyway.
“I don’t want anybody’s help.” He replied, echoing Ranger’s words. “Look. It’s not some macho thing. It’s the way I was trained. I’m a soldier. I’m supposed to be tough, ready to defend my country at a moment’s notice and I can’t even push myself through a fucking doorway.” He shook his head with a wince, his face losing color for a moment.
I leaned forward. “Are… um,” I faltered, wondering if expressing concern would earn his wrath. “Are you okay?”
He came back to himself from whatever dark placed he’d just been and shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. Or I will be, once I get out of this goddamn chair.”
I glanced at his leg. “Were you hurt…over there? You know. Afghanistan?”
His eyebrows climbed and his mouth fell open before his lips curled into a smirk. “Very impressive. Girls who look like you don’t usually know there is a war, let alone where it is.” He clapped his hands softly in a taunt that heated my face.
“Yeah, well, girls who look like me don’t need to know things like that.”
Adam’s jaw clenched and his eyes hardened. “So what kinds of things should girls who look like you know?”
Without hesitation, I fed the assumption I knew he'd made. “The usual. What kind of car do you drive, what do you do for a living, how much money do you make and how much of it are you willing to spend on me.” Adam’s face flushed and he opened his mouth to say something else insulting but I beat him to it. “If you don’t want to talk about it, just say so. There’s no need to insult my intelligence.”
For one stunned moment, he stared at me and then his laugh filled the room. His smile had made me gasp, but hearing him laugh made my belly flip. “Princess, I’ve never met a girl who looked like you and had any intelligence to insult. Looks like I owe you another apology.”
I glared at him and waited.
He cocked his head and stared at me for a moment. “This bugs you more than what I said this morning, doesn’t it?”
I didn’t answer. This time, I would make him work for it.
He grew serious and this time, when he apologized, it filled his eyes. “Then I’m sorry, really sorry. Again.” An uncomfortable silence filled the space between us. “Like I said. I’m not used to girls like you-“
I held up a bandaged hand. “No need to repeat it. It was offensive enough the first time.” Adam opened his mouth to retort but I wasn’t finished. “Do you know how many times narrow-minded people like you run their eyes over me and figure I’m about as deep as a puddle the day after the storm?”
“You telling me you’re more than what I see?” Adam scoffed.
With a wince, I pulled myself up, leaning on one hand. “That depends.”
“Oh, yeah? On what?”
“On how good your vision is. It’s stupid to assume beautiful is all I am – or was.” Yeah, I knew how egotistical that sounded. That was the damn point.
Adam’s eyes bulged but he quickly recovered and smirked at me. “You’re right. Beautiful and modest. My mistake.”
“You forgot the intelligence you just insulted.” I paused, glaring at him. “Any more myths you’d like to dispel or are we done here?”
Wide cocoa eyes stayed pinned on me and Adam’s mouth hung open like the latch just broke. “Um. Again. I’m sorry for uh… insulting you and hurting your feelings.”
Abruptly exhausted, I sank back to my right side, my arms stretched uncomfortably in front of me. The pain squeezed my eyes closed.
“So, what happened to you, anyway?”
I opened my eyes, saw Adam had no intentions of leaving, and shook my head. “I asked you first.”
“You did, didn’t you?” He smiled a sheepish grin. “Okay. An IED detonated while I was patrolling my section. One of my buddies took the brunt of it. I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop it.”
“What’s an IED?”
“Improvised explosive device. A homemade bomb.”
Adam’s hands were white on the wheelchair rests. I was pretty sure I knew the answer to this but asked anyway. “Your buddy… was he hurt?”
“Um." Adam’s voice hitched. "Yeah. Killed instantly. Pink vapor.” He waved his hands in a wide arc and I shivered. “Bastards didn’t just stick to shrapnel in the bomb. They added chemicals. The blast tore through my body armor and the chemicals burned whatever was exposed.”
I stared at his leg, horrified. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “You didn’t do it. Why be sorry?”
“Because you’re hurt and still hurting.”
His brow furrowed. “I don’t need your sympathy. I ain’t dead yet.” Angry Adam had returned.
Fine. I gave up. I didn’t know what Adam Almighty wanted from me.
“Your turn. How did you end up here?”
I swallowed. I couldn’t tell him the whole story. I don’t know why but it felt wrong to bring Belinda into it when she wasn’t there to correct my assumptions. “Well, there was a car accident and I-“
“Oh, come on! Don’t tell me you were stupid enough to drink and drive.” Adam’s sneer was back in all its glory.
“I didn’t, I-“
“You wrapped your car around a tree or something.”
“Well, the car did crash, but I-“
“Spare me the details. You’re lucky, you know. The burns didn’t reach your face, so you’ll still be plenty good-looking when you get out of here to catch your next victim. Poor unsuspecting ass.”
I clamped my teeth together. There it was again, that instant judgment. I counted to ten, gave him my best pageant smile, the one that shows every tooth I have, and ignored the burn of raw skin tightening. “That’s right, handsome. I was just having some fun. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need my beauty sleep so I can get back to it.”
I shifted lower in my bed and closed my eyes, dismissing him.
When I heard no movement from him, I opened my eyes, fixed my face into a bland expression. “Was there anything else?”
Adam frowned at me for a minute and then slowly shook his head. “Nope. I thought I was wrong-“
“Yes, and now you can see you weren’t, so there is no need for you to still be here.”
His lips tightened and he nodded. He shoved the wheelchair backwards into the hall and left without another word. I could have told him I’d saved someone from a burning car. I could have told him I don’t drink. I could have told him all manner of things to change his mind.
I didn’t bother.
***
Before dinner, Ashley arrived, dragging a balloon bouquet anchored to a stuffed bear. I was so happy to see her, I grinned, even though it hurt and hugged her, even though that hurt more.
"Oh, Eden." She cried when she saw me. "I'm so happy your beautiful face is still the same."
My happiness dimmed. "Why?"
"You're so beautiful! I couldn't bear it to see you ruined."
I was angry but not entirely sure why. "Come on. Let's take a walk."
The three of us – Ashley, me and my IV pole – cruised down the hall to the waiting area, a large room in the corner of the corridor filled with yellow plastic chairs, a play rug with some toys in the corner and a flat screen. Over the past week, my room, Ranger's burn unit, and this waiting room had become my entire world.
"My face will be okay. It's my shoulders that are the worst." I informed her.
“I don’t know how you did it. I was so scared, too scared to think let alone do something. God, you were so brave, running right into the fire.” Ashley pressed her lips into a tight line. “Belinda was really mean to you that night."
My head snapped around. "What the hell does that mean? Because she was mean, I should have let her die?"
"No!" Ashley stared at me, bewildered by my hostility. Honestly, so was I. It was like… like I was picking a fight. I drew in a deep breath and started over.
"I'm sorry, Ash." I managed a slight shrug. "I'm not myself."
Ashley's lovely face warmed and she nodded. "I understand. Are you in a lot of pain?"
Slowly, I nodded. "It's slow but I am seeing progress." I wiggled my fingers. "See? I couldn't flex them a few days ago." I was so freaking proud of that.
"Wow, that's awesome!" And then her enthusiasm faded. "How's Maddie handling it?"
"Oh, you know Maddie. It’s the end of the world. Her world, at least.”
Ashley’s hazel eyes met mine and then rolled. “Yeah. I can imagine. Did you tell her you’re done yet?”
I winced. “No. I tried to, the night of the … accident. I texted Belinda about it.”
“You did?” Ashley’s brow puckered. “She never mentioned it.”
What? My eyes snapped to Ashley's. “Oh.” I dropped my eyes to the floor. It was fine. I changed the subject. "Maddie wants me to have reconstructive surgeries, so I can still make Miss America."
Ashley stayed quiet. I looked over at her and she angled her head. "And how do you feel about that?"
I uncrossed and recrossed my legs, trying not to pull the IV out of my foot. "Um. Well. I don't see any point. I mean, the surgery isn't guaranteed. It may work, it may not. I could still miss the competition - even after all of that… work."
"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking how you feel about it."
Hell. "I don't want to do it. Any of it."
Ashley touched one of my bandaged hands but did not squeeze. "Then you have to tell her, Eden."
I blew out a heavy sigh. "I know. You're right. I know. It's just… hard."
"I wish I knew why." She smiled briefly and changed the subject. "So. Do you have any idea what you will do, once you quit?"
"Not really. I want to go to school with you guys." I winced. "I mean, I did. Now… I don't know."
Ashley made a sound of commiseration. "I know. I hope you guys can make up."
I stared in her eyes for a clue. "Ash, please. You have to tell me-"
"No." She took her hand away. "I can't, Eden. I won't. This is between the two of you."
"Then, please, just tell me what to do to fix it." My eyes blurred.
"I… I don't know, Eden. I guess, just give her time." She spread her hands wide. "Now, stop. I don't want to upset you. Let's talk about school."
I sniffed and nodded.
"What do you want to major in?"
"Promise not to laugh?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "I think I want to try pre-med."
Ashley's eyes went round. "You want to be a doctor?" Her question ended on a gasp.
I rocked my head from side to side. "I… well, why not? I think I'd be pretty good at it, actually."
She shook her head. "No. You'd be awesome at it. You were the only one in the class who didn't freak out when we had to dissect stuff, remember? And then with Belinda, you knew exactly what to do."
I pressed my hands to my face to hide my wince and then forced a smile. "Thanks, Ash."
"You think you'd be okay with the insane hours and unglamorous work?"
I laughed once. "The hours were pretty insane with the glamorous work, too, so yeah. I'd be okay."
She giggled. "Doctor Leighton. I like it."
So did I.
"You could be a TV doctor, like Dr. Oz."
"No way," I retorted with a shake of my head. "I want to do this for real. You know, help people. Do work that has real purpose, you know?"
Ashley didn't say anything. My heart sank. "Ash? Do you… do you not think I can do it?"
"Eden, you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it. I just hope you get the chance. Which means, you have to tell your mother."
Everyone leaves me, Eden. Don't leave me, baby. Promise me, you'll never leave me.
"Eden?"
I jerked and shivered. "I think I'd rather die than that."
With a loud gasp, I feel Ashley's entire body go rigid beside me. "Please tell me you did not just say that."
I blinked, bewildered by her over-reaction. "Kidding."
She wasn't buying it. "Eden, I don't understand why this is so hard. Just say, 'Maddie, I quit' and poof – you're done."
My mouth fell open. If only it were that simple. "Ash, you know Maddie. She's… well, she's intense. Modeling and pageants – they're her passions and I'm all she has. She doesn't date. She has no friends. It's just us. If I quit, what will she do?"
Ashley's mouth mashed into a thin line. "You're not breaking up with her, Eden, you're quitting. There's a difference. Maddie will figure out what's next just like you will. You can do it together."
A little blonde ball of energy rushed into the room. “Hey, Eden!”
“Sam. How are you?”
“Good. It didn’t hurt very much. I was brave.”
With a smile, I high-fived him, flinching at the sting. “You were. Ashley, this is Sam.”
“Hey, Sam.” She managed a grin and her own high-five, staring at me in confusion the whole time.
"They know you're out of your bed?"
"Uh huh. Adam said we could watch Jeopardy."
I tensed. Adam was coming? "Jeopardy, huh? Okay."
On cue, Adam pushed his chair past us, grabbed the remote control for the flat screen that hung on the wall of the waiting room.
“Hello, Adam.”
He flipped on the TV, started channel surfing and only when he found Jeopardy, did he glance at us.
"You have a friend?"
I ignored that.
“Ashley. Ashley Coleman." She extended her hand. Adam said nothing but shook it.
"Um, I'm gonna go. So happy to see you, Doctor Leighton," she teased. "Bye, Sam." With a pointed look at Adam, she left.
"You were rude."
Adam shrugged, kept his eyes on the screen. “Ouch, princess. I’m wounded. Take a little pity.”
“Oh, pity is okay now? A few hours ago, you were going on and on about how nothing’s wrong with you, big soldier that you are.”
Adam smiled and I forgot I was mad. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d met dozens of men. None had ever wiped my mind when they smiled. And then, the smile was gone.
“That was then, this is now.” He tossed the remote back to the side table. I tried to ignore the way the muscles in his arm flexed, even with the stupid IV stuck in one of his hands. At least he didn’t have the pole to wheel around, too. His bag was hanging off the wheelchair.I turned my attention to Alex Trebek.
"Peru’s flag has stripes of these two colors."
“Red and white.” I muttered. But the contestant who rang in said blue and white.
“The correct response is red and white.”
Sam high-fived me.
Adam stared at me until Alex read the next question. “The United Arab Emirates is comprised of this many emirates.”
“Seven.” I answered instantly.
Adam’s impressed grin sang to me. “Watch the rest of it with me. Bet you can’t beat me.”
Guess again, soldier boy. “Why not?” I settled down, careful to stay off the backrest, Sam on the floor in front of us.
Alex read the next question. “In children, there are this many bones.”
“Three hundred.” I answered just as Alex revealed I was correct.
Another question from the Bones category. “This is the smallest bone in the human body.”
“Meta-tarsal.” Adam said.
“Uh uh.” I shook my head. “The stirrup, in the ear.”
“What is the stapes?” The contestant responded.
“Correct,” Alex Trebek said and Adam gloated until the host added, “We would have accepted the stirrup, too.”
By the time the Final Jeopardy question was revealed, Adam was grinding his teeth.
“Assembly of this iconic landmark languished until a newspaper publisher’s plea for donations raised enough money.”
I quirked an eyebrow at Adam.
“Oh, right, like you know this one?”
“Of course. It’s the Statue of Liberty. Joseph Pulitzer raised the money to build its base.”
“It can’t be. The Statue was donated. It was a gift from France.”
“Yeah. And it was shipped here in pieces that took money to assemble.”
When Alex Trebek revealed I was again correct, Adam frowned at me. “What are you, some kind of savant?”
My gloating grin faded. I was hardly a savant. When I wasn’t working, I was bored, so I did a lot of reading. “No. Just not as dumb as I look.” I stood to leave.
“Stop that.” He snapped an arm across my path. It hit me at hip level. “I admitted I misjudged you and apologized for it a few times. But I didn’t know you.”
I arched an eyebrow at his audacity. "And you know me so well now?"
The arm across my path turned and he settled his palm on my hip, his thumb moving in a slow dance along the curve. I sucked in a breath to survive the singe.
"I'd like to know you better." He grinned that panty-twisting smile of his.
It worked.
"Uh-" Words failed me.
"Hey! I thought you guys were gonna read me a story." Sam pouted.
I could have kissed him. Saved by a pre-schooler.
"Sure, buddy. What book do you want?" Adam let me go and I was abruptly cold.
Sam searched through the toy corner in the waiting room and found a Dr. Seuss book he triumphantly brought back to Adam.
"Oh, Green Eggs and Ham, huh? This is a good one." Adam told him. "Did you know there's a Sam in this story?"
I helped Sam settle in my lap and Adam started reading about Sam-I-Am, his deep voice hypnotic and soothing. Sam fell asleep before the end of the book. Adam shut the book, tossed it to the table beside the TV remote and ran his hand over the boy's hair.
"His pain is better today. Look at his face."
"I'll take him."
Adam and I turned, saw Sam's dad in the doorway. Adam rolled out of the way while the man carefully scooped the sleeping child out of my arms. Sam never stirred.
At the corridor, he stopped and turned back, his face screaming his exhaustion. "Whatever you guys are doing – thank you."
I smiled. Adam nodded. When they were gone, he gripped the wheels on his chair and I suddenly didn't want him to leave.
"You're so good with him."
Adam looked at me and shrugged. "I have a niece about his age and I-" He broke off when his voice cracked. "It's hard to take."
I thought of him sobbing into his pillow and gripped his hand. "I know."
"Ol-lee, Ol-lee, Ol-lee."
Adam turned toward the corridor and gasped, smiling in delight at the man standing in the doorway.
******
That's it for this chapter -- tell me what you think!