Near to You
12
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Please excuse me I’m not thinking clear. It might just be stress, but I likely shouldn’t be here.
The Listening - Lights
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Zayn hadn’t been lying when he said he would be seeing me on Sunday, rain or shine. It wasn’t for the reason we had anticipated, however. Three people stared us down from our seats at the end of the table in the small, windowless conference room.
We couldn’t be trusted anywhere someone could see us, apparently, because we had caused enough damage as it was.
“So tell me again,” The man named Paul sighed, rubbing his temples. “Why didn’t you just say they got a picture when it first happened? We could have stopped this all from happening.”
“I didn’t think it was important.” Zayn shrugged. “I get photographed with people all the time. It’s not like she’s famous. I didn’t know they’d find out her name or anything. No offence.”
I shook my head. I was the furthest thing from offended at that moment. It was only a matter of time before Julia saw those pictures. They were everywhere—in front of the Daily Mail and The Sun, as well as every other gossip rag in London. She wouldn’t not see it. Then it would be my PR sitting in front of me with that stern expression.
This had all just become an unsolvable mess.
“That doesn’t matter.” Paul looked as if he was going to scold us further, but he calmed himself before continuing. “But it’s been done, so now we have to figure out what we’re going to do about it.”
“What we need to do first is make sure that she wasn’t the one who made the call.” The dark skinned woman glared at me. She was the severest looking of the group. Her hair was tied back into a slick bun, not a strand out of place, and her makeup was pristine.
“Of course she didn’t!” Zayn jumped to my defence before I could speak. “She wouldn’t willingly have people camping outside her apartment waiting to snap a photo of her. She was terrified when she called me this morning—”
“Zayn.” I rested my hand on his arm and he hesitated. “It’s alright.”
“It’s not alright! They’re accusing you of—”
“I didn’t do it,” I told the woman evenly. Whether she believed me or not was her problem. I was telling the truth. When I had woken up that morning to get ready for my history class and saw all those photographers camped out on the street, I had thought perhaps there had been an accident and they were there for the news stations.
When the flashes started going off when I emerged, however, I was forced to go back inside and call Zayn, unsure of what was going on. Needless to say that by the time they were all driven away by the police I had missed both my morning and afternoon classes, and then I was carted away to meet the scary people who made Zayn’s image what it was.
“How can we solve this?”
I sank back in my seat and I watched Zayn deflate as his anger simmered quietly. “We just tell them the truth.”
“They don’t want the truth,” the woman pointed out before Paul could respond. “It would damage what we’ve been trying to build. He can’t be seen out with what they’ll take as just another tryst.”
“It’s true,” Paul admitted. “We’ve got enough problems with Harry as it is. They’re going to butcher the entire band and say they’ve finally given into the lifestyle they’re expected to have.”
“Then what?” Zayn asked. “What about you, Dean? You’re the most reasonable.”
“They can’t see each other anymore.” I was appalled by the suggestion. “We can stay quiet about it. Eventually they will get bored of the ‘no comments’ and with no new pictures emerging they’ll have nothing to speculate.”
“No.” Zayn’s tone was definite. “Absolutely not. I’m tired of letting those vultures rule my life. I’m not going to lose Michelle just because it’s going to look bad.”
“Zayn,” Paul interrupted. “You have to think about the band.”
“Of course I’m thinking about the band!” Zayn snapped. “I’m always thinking about the band.”
“There’s something else we could do.”
Everyone turned to stare at the woman.
“What are you thinking of, Carroll?” Paul asked.
“Keep them apart,” Zayn was about to protest, but Carroll spoke over him, “for now. When things have settled down we’ll arrange the meetings ourselves.”
“Arrange them for me? What? I’m just supposed to wait for management to let me see her?”
“It’s better than the alternative of not seeing her at all.”
That silenced him completely. I could tell he was struggling with the decision so I made the choice for him.
“Keep us apart for a while,” I told them. They were surprised that I had spoken. “I don’t mind having to wait to see him every once and a while. Once they don’t follow me around anymore and I don’t destroy his image or whatever.”
“Michelle…” Zayn trailed off. I shook my head.
“It’s better than nothing.”
I could have been too assumptive. What if he didn’t want to see me anymore and would rather be rid of me and the problems I caused altogether?
“Fine,” Zayn finally agreed. He pursed his lips as we stood to leave the boardroom. Once we were outside he pulled me into a hug and sighed. “I didn’t get to do this properly this morning.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled into the sleeve of his jacket.
“This is insane.”
“I know.” I nodded, pulling away. “I’d better go.”
He held onto my wrist with his fingers for a moment longer. Where our skin touched it felt as if I was on fire. I glanced down at our joined limbs glumly. Just when we were starting to figure things out, this had to happen.
“I don’t know when I’ll see you next.”
“Soon.” I hoped it was true, but there was a part of me that just knew it’d be a long, long while before I saw Zayn again.
“Here.” He pulled me closer before removing one of the many bracelets on his wrist. He clasped it onto my much tinier hand and I looked at it curiously. “I bought this one with the boys when we were making our second album. I’ll get it back when I see you again.”
“But—” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question. But what if management didn’t let us see each other again?
“It’ll happen, Michelle.” Zayn rested his hand on my shoulder reassuringly. “I’ll make sure of it.”
I nodded once, taking in his face so I could remember it and took the stairs two at a time to the lower level of the building so I wouldn’t be able to change my mind. It was for the better, and I would see him again.
I couldn’t ignore the part of me, though, that wished he had said we were something more than friends, and that he hadn’t fought so hard to keep it that way.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I answered it, bracing myself for the shouts that were sure to emerge from the other end of the line.
“It’s me.”
“Michelle!” Julia sounded extremely happy and I paused on the final step.
“Yes?”
“How are you?” She asked. “Where are you?”
“Out,” I replied vaguely. “Did you see…?”
“The photos? Yes, I have.”
“Oh.” I nodded toward the receptionist who gave me a cool smile. “I’m so sorry about this mess, I promise it’s been fixed and—”
“Nonsense, nonsense!” Julia cooed. Julia never cooed. Something was going on. “There’s no problem at all.”
“Julia, you do know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” I asked. “The pictures from the newspapers, me, and Zayn. Everywhere. People know what I look like. What’s going to happen when I come out as M.K.? They’ll think I’m using him for his fame.”
“We’ll publish a fluff piece about young love,” she answered airily. I could almost picture her waving her hands. “But whatever you’ve been doing, keep it up. This extra publicity will boost ticket sales for the movie as well as secure the deal for your next book, and possibly even a movie for that!”
“All this for one picture?” I was amazed.
“One picture with the right person,” Julia agreed. “So keep him close, Michelle. I don’t know how you did it, but for once, you’re doing it right.”
As I stepped out onto the street I hung up, completely at a loss. Management was forcing Zayn and me apart because it would benefit him, but staying together would benefit me. Could I really just cast my own fate aside for him? But could I use him just for my own benefit?
What was I supposed to do?
And what would happen when everyone found out who I really was?