c h a p t e r 7
"Sit."
I looked over my shoulder at the sound of Ryder's voice, frowning when I saw him standing in the doorway of my temporary bedroom. I wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there watching me but there wasn't much to watch. I had only been unpacking my things.
"You could always ask me nicely." I turned back to where I had placed my open suitcase on the desk, almost everything unpacked. I hadn't meant to take long by any means, though I kept zoning out and thinking of all the other problems I had on my plate. Like, what was Cole doing right now? He probably had gone back to the apartment and seen it had been broken into. I didn't have a lot of things, so would he even notice that all my stuff was gone? Was he still angry? Would I see him later in the week on campus?
A part of me was missing him. He was my first and only boyfriend and we had a lot of great times together, despite everything. He was always sorry when he got angry, and being sorry and wanting to be better was proof that he wasn't a terrible person.
I shook my head to recenter myself back to this moment. I think maybe two or so hours had gone by and now I was being interrupted by Ryder once again. And now he was ordering me around, once again.
He didn't move. "Would you prefer I nail you to the sheets through your thighs?"
That didn't sound too pleasant.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I threw the shirt I had been holding back down into the suitcase and took the two steps necessary to cross the room and sit on the cot. "Happy?"
He didn't reply to that and instead took a few casual paces over to where my suitcase was atop the desk, glancing inside. "We're going to go over some rules," he said, casting a glance on my agenda that he had scrutinized earlier today. "You look like you'll need them."
"Maybe if you explained things to me and were a bit nicer then—"
"I didn't ask you to speak," he cut me off, picking my agenda up and opening it like he had done back at my apartment. His fixation on it was a little off-putting, especially since I didn't want him pawing through my small amount of possessions anyways. "You are going to listen."
"Is that a rule or a request?"
He turned a page, "Rule. I don't make requests." He pulled his gaze up to me with a sigh, shutting the book and tossing it back into the near empty suitcase as his eyes took in the rest of the room. They lingered on my cartoon star nightlight that was already plugged into the outlet next to the cot, and I could feel the disdain in his aura. "You don't eat."
"What?" My head reared back slightly, my eyes wide. "Your plan is to starve me?"
"I was making an observation," he leaned against the edge of the desk and crossed his arms over his chest. "And that needs to change."
I hadn't realized my heart beat had sped up a bit in panic, but I felt my chest decompress slightly at his words. "Oh.. well... I eat just fine. I don't require much, really. I'm content with the crackers."
His brows furrowed slightly. "You keep mentioning crackers and I don't know what that means."
"Crackers," I repeated. "You know, like, the ones that come in different flavours? Sometimes you eat them with soup? They pair well with cheese?"
He blinked.
I sighed. "I get them when I'm good. Or if it's been a while."
"If you're good?"
"Yes..." although I was now realizing I hadn't really been good in light of my new circumstances with Ryder. "I usually get one to three, depending, so they last quite a while. You'll barely notice them on your expenses."
"My expenses?"
"Yes. I don't have any money," I felt embarrassed having to admit it but boyfriends were the only ones allowed to work in the relationship, so I knew he must know that. Unless he was like Dylan and wasn't the relationship type. However, something told me that girl, Lilianne, was more than just some girl to him. "And as long as I have water every other day, then I'm fine."
"So you're a plant."
I narrowed my eyes. "I'm going to choose to not respond to that."
"Uh huh," he drawled, shifting slightly. "So you eat one cracker every three days and what, that's it?"
"Of course it is. When you're in a relationship, you have to make sure you maintain a desirable weight."
Ryder pinched the bridge of his nose. "You don't know the first thing about being in a relationship."
"Oh," I scoffed, "And I suppose you do?"
He seemed to stop himself before biting back a response and that alone piqued my curiosity. However, I was getting kind of tired of our back and forth and it had been a few days since I had last eaten something. All this mention of crackers was beginning to make me more aware of my empty stomach.
He shook his head, looking to move on as well. "Fine. So you need me to do all the fucking cooking is what I'm hearing."
"I'm a great cook, actually."
Ryder did not look impressed.
"I like to clean," I offered up conversationally. "I can do the cleaning while I'm here. Since I can't pay for anything."
"Uh huh," he sighed again.
"And I can do some grocery shopping, if you give me a list and the exact amount of money to spend," I began to list off. "I like to do laundry, that's very relaxing. I don't get sick. I'm quiet and don't take up much room so you shouldn't notice I'm here."
"Sounds like perfect cover for when you inevitably attempt to sneak away."
I gave him the most sincere smile that I could muster. "I don't know what you're talking about."
His eyes narrowed, and a flash of emotion flickered in them. Suspicion. Though he didn't comment on it. "Where is your phone?"
"I don't have one," I shrugged. "I don't have a laptop either, actually, so I may need to borrow yours from time to time to get certain assignments done. If that's okay."
Ryder pushed himself off the desk to stand up straight. "I'm not giving you my laptop."
"You don't have to give it to me. But that's fine. I'll just use the computers in the school library."
"Yeah? And you want me to give you my car so you can drive yourself there, too?"
"Of course not. I can't drive."
When Ryder paused and met my eyes again, another emotion was right there in his own. Astonishment. Though the mere fact that he was letting emotions rise to the surface felt like he was sharing an inside secret. Was he doing that on purpose? He may never have the side to him I saw when he was West and I was Taylor, but these little glimpses behind his constant mask were definitely a treat.
"You can't drive?"
"No," I watched as he pulled his phone from his pocket in frustration. "I used to know how but since girlfriend's aren't allowed to go anywhere without their boyfriends, I haven't driven in quite some time."
Ryder muttered, typing away at his phone. "So you can't do a fucking thing."
I frowned. "I cook and I clean and I'm quiet. Are those not desirable enough traits for you?"
Instead of responding, Ryder muttered something under his breath as he held his phone up to his ear, making a call. He stalked out of the room as the person picked up, and I felt the need to follow after him. "Yeah, hey. If I text you a list of things I need, can you bring them by tonight?" Whoever was on the other end responded, and Ryder rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I'll give you a good tip for your service, dipshit... Uh huh... See you." And that seemed to be the end of that.
Ryder shoved his phone back into his pocket and turned to me.
"Who was that?"
He didn't answer. Shocker. Instead, he flicked his head in the direction of the couch, and I understood that to mean that he wanted me to take a seat there. I wordlessly obliged, hoping that my lack of opposition would get me a couple of crackers tonight.
"Since we're on the topic of rules," I began as he retrieved a water bottle from the fridge, uncapping it and taking a long swig. "I have a few of my own."
Ryder lowered the bottle from his lips. "You're not at liberty to have rules."
"That'd be true if we were dating. But we're not. So I'm allowed to have rules."
"Uh huh. And what are your rules, Blue?" he sounded like he was humoring me but I didn't care.
"Well," I began. "I'd like to go on walks. I'm not going to be confined to this apartment as if I'm on house arrest."
"You are on house arrest."
"Second," I continued. "If I want to go and see Zoey, then I'm going to go and see Zoey. And if I don't want to do what you tell me to do, then I'm not going to."
"No."
"And you're not allowed to be mean to me."
Another scoff. "Sure thing, Blue."
"I don't want you to call me Blue. That's not my name," I was standing this time, feeling so small and unheard by him. Despite the fact that he was making little comments here and there, it didn't really feel like he was listening to anything that I had to say. "Neither is sweet thing, or sweetheart, or any other pet name you're thinking about calling me."
Ryder gave me a bored look again. "Does Dylan get to call you angel?"
I took a second before answering. "Well, yes. I suppose that's still fine."
Ryder cocked his head, eyes flickering and brows dropping the tiniest of fractions.
It looked like he was about to say something but I spoke first. "And while we're living together, that doesn't mean you can have your way with me."
That certainly got his attention. Ryder recapped his water bottle and set it down on the island. "I can't have my way with you?"
"Yes," my cheeks burned under his scrutiny but I held his stare. "We're not dating so you can't kiss me and you can't touch me without my permission."
He tilted his head further and let a beat of silence pass. "We weren't dating when I had my head between your thighs."
Oh my. "T-that was different."
He took a step closer. "We weren't dating when I was balls deep inside of you."
"Ryder," I took a small step back when he continued to advance, not liking the irritation I was feeling from him. "Don't be crass."
"We weren't dating when you begged me to fuck you raw," he was right infront of me now, towering over me as he usually did, brown eyes deep with disdain. "When you were begging me to let you com—"
"Stop it—"
"The don't worry your pretty little head about me fucking you against the wall," he leaned in close. "I had you once. That was more than enough to know I don't want you again."
I felt my chest constrict a little bit at his words because they hurt. Even though I didn't have any reason to care about what Ryder said and thought about me, it still made me think: What am I missing? Did he know what I lacked that Cole also thought I lacked? Was there something perpetually wrong with me or how I acted? Is that why I was where I was now? In a disastrous relationship?
I blinked a few times, feeling the urge to cry but not yet feeling any tears, which was a welcome change. I dropped Ryder's gaze, unable to keep holding it and seeing how much anger and distaste they held.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Can I just go back to the room now?" I said softly. The only silver lining I could find with him seemingly wanting nothing to do with me anymore was that I didn't have to worry about him touching me in my sleep. There was no lock on the door to the room I'd be sleeping in—I checked—and I didn't have any pajama pants that were straight-jacket-esque. If he was going to touch me while I slept, I couldn't do anything to stop him. Not when he was bigger than me, and stronger than me, and much more powerful. Not when I knew what he was capable of. At least I had that single comfort.
Ryder didn't bother answering my question and instead brushed past me aggressively, his shoulder bumping into mine and causing me to stumble, though he kept on going until he was inside his room and slamming the door shut behind him. Well, I guess that answers that question.
Taking a breath, I made my way back to my temporary room and shut the door behind me, liking the physical distance between Ryder and I. As long as I kept to myself in here then I could make it through this weird situation. I didn't know how long I was going to be staying here, but it couldn't be for that long. This whole drug and murder thing had nothing to do with me, so my lack of involvement had to count for something.
No matter. I needed to adapt to my surroundings and get back to being the person I always was: Happy. I couldn't let every mean word out of Ryder's mouth throw me off kilter, because he was just a mean person.
Perhaps killing him with kindness might be something I could do. I mean, as long as I remained positive and showed him that he didn't have to be so mean in order to get me to listen to him, maybe he would feel better about wanting to be nice to me?
Yeah. The thought sounds foreign to my own ears, too.
* * *
"What are you doing?"
I turned my head at the sound of the voice at the door, seeing Ryder standing at the threshold.
I hadn't seen him since earlier today, when he had stormed off to his room. Now that it was nearing 10pm, almost 8 hours later, I felt a little... awkward.
"I'm looking out the window," I answered, smiling. Positive, positive, positive. That's what I need to remember.
"You're sitting on the desk."
True. The desk was right underneath the window so I just thought that sitting atop the desk, knees pulled to my chest as I leaned against the sill was a more comfortable position. Especially since I had been staring out of it for the past hour or so. "It helps me see the view."
Ryder glanced at my view in question. "You're staring at a brick wall."
"No," I looked back out the window and pointed downwards. "Below is an alley but if I sit at this angle then I can see where it opens up to the street. And there's people walking by. And some cars."
Ryder looked skeptical. Well, as skeptical as Ryder could look, seeing as he was still showing me next to no emotions or facial expressions. It was still just a blank stare from him, with the occasional narrowing of his eyes or lifting of his brows, and it made me wonder how he could mask his emotions so well like that.
Wordlessly Ryder took the necessary steps in my direction until he was standing right in front of the desk, his chest a few inches shy of my shoulder as he leaned his head in close to mine until they nearly touched. I felt my cheeks warm but I continued to keep my head in the direction it had been in for the past hour or so, staring at the view I had just mentioned to him.
His mild scent of something clean and citrus-y invaded my nostrils almost instantly, causing my skin to warm and the tips of my ears to no doubt join in with the colouring of my cheeks. Tension bubbled under my skin but I couldn't tell whether it was because I didn't like that he was so close to me because he was a mean killer, or because of the intimate night we had once shared together.
Ryder—for someone so intent on not being touched—seemed unfazed as he scrutinized the sliver of scenery. "This is a shit view."
For some reason I felt embarrassed. "I can see just fine."
Ryder leaned back and then took a step back, blinking and then glancing around the room. I looked up at him as he did so. "You're sitting in the dark."
That was an interesting observation, seeing as there wasn't much I could do about that considering he had told me that the light in here was out of use.
"Well, I can see the streetlamps from here. And the door is open because the light is on in the lounge area," I turned and pointed to the single outlet in the room, already lit with my nightlight. "And I have that."
He kept silent for a few moments, taking a look around the pretty scarce room as he made his way back towards the threshold, leaning against it and facing me. Other than my nightlight, nothing was hung on the walls to give it any sort of cozy feeling. My clothes were all folded and placed neatly on the cot, and my plan was to move them to the desk when I planned to sleep since there was no sort of dresser. The cot itself was still bare, only a white sheet to cover the stiff mattress, and a single pillow. Still, I kind of liked having my own little space.
I had changed into my pajamas already as well, though my options were limited since they were meant to be worn around my boyfriend. Since I currently no longer had one, sun-patterned, fluffy pink pajama pants and a matching long sleeved crewneck were my only option.
Ryder seemed to scrutinize them as well as the fluffy pink socks I was wearing. It was certainly a stark contrast to his black sweatpants and charcoal gray long sleeve shirt that seemed to be his sleep attire.
"Your pajamas make me nauseous."
My smile faltered. "Is there something you needed from me or are you just here to be mean?"
Ryder sighed through his nose. "I got you—"
Before he could finish whatever it was he was planning on saying, Dylan was bursting into the room and shoving Ryder aside in a playful manner, a grin on his lips and excitement in his general presence.
I flinched in surprise at the new addition, not even having realized that Dylan had come over.
"Hey there, angel," he seemed to beam, taking a look around the room and putting his hands on his hips. "Wow, now would you just look at this place! Five-star lodgings if I ever did see em."
"D-Dylan," my cheeks flushed and I quickly slipped off the desk, brushing out my pajamas as I stood straight. "Hello."
"I didn't invite you inside," Ryder drawled, grabbing the back of Dylan's hoodie and tugging him back towards the door. "I told you to leave."
Dylan shrugged off Ryder's grip and stepped further into the room again, closer to me. "I bring you what you need and then I'm kicked to the curb? Just like that?"
"Yes."
Dylan frowned and turned to me, eyes scanning over my attire. "Nice pjs, Mae."
I felt myself warm with embarrassment. "Uh, thank you."
Dylan took another quick glance around the room, his eyes flickering over the nightlight in the outlet. He let out a chuckle and turned to Ryder. "You weren't kidding about that."
My frown returned. "Kidding about what?"
"This cute little light you got in here," Dylan seemed to snicker and this time I felt the embarrassment flowing under my skin, prickling my veins. "Really brightens up the room."
"I don't like the dark," I repeated my reasoning, my tone defensive. "There's nothing wrong with not liking the dark."
"You are one hundred percent right about that, angel," Dylan supplied, almost seeming like he was placating me. "Now. Did Ryder give you the fancy new toy he had me bring over?"
"Toy?" I questioned, not in the least bit thrilled about what that could mean. Toy usually meant something sexual... somthing that would hurt me... something that I wouldn't like.
The apprehension must have shown in my eyes because Dylan draped an arm around my shoulders and led the way past Ryder and out of my room. "Nothing to be concerned about. I was just talking about the fancy new phone Ryder bought you."
I looked up at Dylan as he walked us through the lounge room and towards the kitchen island. "I was bought a phone?"
Dylan dropped his arm from around me and nudged me towards the island, causing my attention to go there. True to his words, a new iPhone lay sealed in its packaging and atop the island. Beside it was a phone case, also still in its packaging, but there they were. Apparently for me.
However, "I can't take that," tumbled past my lips and I was shaking my head as I turned to look at where Ryder was standing a bit behind Dylan, having followed us.
"It's the latest addition," Dylan supplied, picking up the phone box and holding it out to me. "He even made me get you the gold one."
"I-I can't take that," I continued to shake my head. "That's too much for me."
"You don't have a phone," Ryder rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed that I was refusing his purchase. "And I'll be tracking you through it, anyways."
My apprehension turned into appall almost instantly. "Tracking me?" I let out an incredulous laugh. "Well then absolutely not! I want it even less now."
"That's not a decision for you to make," he snipped, stepping up and grabbing the phone from Dylan's hands. He shoved it into my grasp then, forcing me to grab the box before he let go and let it drop to the ground. "You're taking the phone."
"I don't want you to be stalking me," I put the phone back on the island, taking a step back. "I don't need a phone, anyways. I don't have anyone to call."
Dylan sighed. "Well that's depressing."
"It isn't," I defended before my eyes connected with Ryder's annoyed brown ones. "And I'm just not comfortable being tracked again."
Dylan raised a brow. "Again?"
"Thank you both for the... kind gesture, but—"
"This is not a choice," Ryder nudged Dylan aside, stepping closer to me. "This is so I know where you are."
"What if I don't want you to know where I am?"
His nostrils flared, and I think that was the first time he had done so since we had met. Ryder brushed a hand back through his hair, also in frustration, and his own restraint felt almost tangible to me.
I felt myself back down. "I-if I take the phone then I have some conditions."
I watched, almost in awe, as Ryder seemed to breathe a sigh through his nose, releasing the tension in his shoulders at the sign of my compliance. In turn I also felt a little less tense. It seemed easy to rile him up, though that was true for almost all the men I've ever met. Calming him down by submitting also seemed to work as well. I filed that information away for future reference.
Ryder tilted his head. "You don't get conditions."
"I want to be able to call whoever I want," I began to list anyways, ignoring his initial refusal.
"I thought you didn't have anyone to call," he repeated my earlier words, attempting to throw them back in my face.
"I have Zoey," I crossed my arms over my chest. "And when I make new friends, then I'll have their numbers, too."
"New friends?" Dylan questioned, and I just now realized he had ventured into the kitchen and was shifting through Ryder's cupboards. "You planning on joining some clubs or something?"
"Maybe," my shoulders lifted in a shrug before I bit my bottom lip because no I was not going to be joining any clubs. I didn't really see myself being able to make new friends either. There wouldn't be a point when I got back together with Cole... if I got back together with Cole. Things were still hazy on that front but I was going to ensure I kept my own boundaries while I was with Ryder. "Now that I don't have a boyfriend, I'm allowed to have some more friends."
Ryder mimicked my stance, crossing his own arms over his chest as Dylan continued to rummage through his cabinets and not gain his attention. "That all your conditions?"
I was shocked that he had even asked because it seemed like he was actually... considering my conditions. Or at least he was pretending to.
I quickly thought up a few more to add to the list. "If you won't let me see Zoey at her place, then she can come here."
His eyes narrowed. "She can meet you on campus. On the days that you're there."
I was shocked further. Is he bargaining with me? Are we negotiating? I felt a small flutter of hope in my chest though I tried not to let it grow. "When we hang out, you'll leave us alone."
He cocked his head. "You'll leave the tracker on." It wasn't a question.
"Okay... and you won't hold her at gunpoint," I gave him a pointed look. I still couldn't believe he had actually done that to her, and I was nervous about what she could be thinking about the entire thing. Dylan had stayed behind with her for a bit after Ryder had forced me away, but I knew she must have a million questions. "Or threaten her in any way to try and get me to do something."
The corner of Ryder's mouth curved upwards the slightest bit, the only hint that he was amused. "Only if you both behave."
"We're not dating so you're not allowed to punish me," I rebuttal.
"Kinky," Dylan was opening up a bag of chips he had managed to find, popping a couple in his mouth before scrunching his nose in disgust. "Ugh. I hate these fucking salt and vinegar ones."
Ryder paid him no mind, brown eyes sharpening. "Fine. I'll adhere to your conditions so long as you keep the tracker on the phone and listen to me."
I tried not to let my jaw drop to the ground in surprise as Ryder actually listened to me about something I wanted. The taste of victory was certainly sweet, and I actually felt a genuine smile inch onto my lips. I felt myself stand taller too, because I couldn't remember the last time I had really stood my ground and been successful.
I held out my hand to shake. "Deal."
Ryder rolled his eyes, grabbing the phone from the island and shoving it back into my hands instead. "Uh huh."
"All's well that ends well," Dylan pipped in, still eating the salt and vinegar chips that he didn't like. Ryder and I both looked over at him at that, and now that my mind was no longer preoccupied with negotiating with the homeowner, I felt the hollowness of my stomach once again. "Now. What fun things should we do now? A movie night sounds wonderful."
"You're leaving," Ryder brushed past Dylan and grabbed the chip bag as he did so. "And stop eating my things."
"I'm starving and that's all you seem to have," he whined. "Although they still taste like shit."
"I buy them to prevent you from eating me out of house and home, idiot."
Dylan feigned a gasp. "That's why you have them?"
Ryder rolled his eyes, making his way over to the fridge and grabbing something from inside. When he turned towards the island he made sure to meet my gaze. "Sit."
"You could say please," I added, however I still took a seat on one of the stools at the island, still on my high from winning our negotiation. The smile on my face was still present but I tried not to make it so prominent incase he thought I was trying to gloat.
When I took my seat Ryder was grabbing a couple of plates from the cupboard and setting them on the island. To Dylan, he grumbled, "Set up her phone tracker."
Dylan rolled his eyes. "Mae is onto something with the whole saying 'please' thing, you know," but Dylan was smiling too, making his way to the seat adjacent to mine and taking the phone from my hands. "Alright, just give me a second to get this thing going for you."
"Thank you," I kept my smile, and the realization that I was getting a phone seemed to finally register in my brain. I couldn't remember the last time I had my own device—certainly more than a year, maybe two. I had one in the beginning of my relationship but the more serious Cole and I had gotten, the more serious he had wanted me to be about prioritizing him. That meant not doing things that he thought were compromising to the trust of our relationship, such as communicating with other people despite the interactions being innocent.
I'd probably have to give this phone back once Ryder and I were done with our situation, but despite the fact there was going to be a tracker on the phone, I was kind of excited.
I looked over at Ryder as Dylan unboxed the gold phone and installed the sim card. It looked like he was heating up two plates of food from the container he had taken from the fridge, no doubt some dinner for himself and Dylan. It looked like a stir fry with some cooked pieces of asparagus on the side, and when he put a plate in the microwave and it began to heat up, the smell was wonderful.
Not wanting to think about food, I turned my attention back to Dylan and thought again about how nice it would be to have my own phone. It would be nice to communicate on my own terms, such as message Zoey or even sending emails to my professors from time to time. Cole was always monitoring that sort of thing.
Dylan had powered the phone on and seemed to be halfway through the initial set up when he glanced up at me, a crooked smile growing on his lips before his eyes went back to the device. "What's your big pretty smile for, angel?"
Pretty? I hadn't even realized I was smiling still until I touched my fingers to my lips to confirm. Suddenly I felt Ryder turn his gaze on me at his friend's words, eyes bouncing between him and I before finally settling on me, but I kept my own attention on Dylan and the phone. "I was just thinking about how nice it's going to be to have a phone again."
"Oh?" he hummed, finished with the setup and now moving on to installing the tracking software. "Not into technology?"
"When you have a boyfriend, you're not allowed to have a phone," I explained simply, shrugging my shoulders. "Although I really have missed the efficiency that phones provide."
Dylan paused for a beat at my first statement yet didn't make a comment, resuming his task. "How do you get anything done then? Like, school-wise?"
"I have monitored access when absolutely necessary," I shrugged again, unbothered. "And when I have written assignments, I get supervised trips to the library to use their computers."
"Sounds... inconvenient."
"I find it really motivating, actually. It helps me ensure I use my time productively... although now I can email my professors on my own so that's nice."
Dylan tapped away on the new phone before looking over at Ryder, who had moved on to heating up the second plate of food. "Why didn't you also have me pick up a laptop?"
Ryder turned his back to us, removing the second plate from the microwave. "I have an extra," he mumbled, both plates in hand as he turned around. He came towards Dylan and I then, placing one of the plates near Dylan and the other... in front of me.
"Well would you look at that," his friend mused, "Service with a smile."
"I'm not smiling."
"And what a shame, isn't it."
Ryder rolled his eyes and returned with a couple of forks and knives, setting them near our plates before also setting a water bottle near my set. I blinked down at the food before looking back up. "Is... is this for me?"
Ryder blinked. "Obviously."
This single word made my stomach dip. "R..really?"
"Uh huh," was all I got, but that was more than enough because I couldn't stop the grin from spreading across my face. It felt so wide that it would split my face open but there was no stopping it, nor was there stopping the joy spreading through my chest. A new phone and a meal! In the same day! In the same hour, actually. This was unheard of.
"Don't think you're too special," Dylan was grinning when I glanced at him, obviously being playful. "He gave me a plate, too."
"Thank you." I said it softly but loud enough for both of them to hear. If Ryder was giving me food then I wasn't going to question it. This was probably the only thing I wasn't going to question, especially since it was more than a cracker. Not to mention the food smelled and—I took a bite—tasted absolutely delicious! I was surprised when Ryder had mentioned earlier that he was going to do the cooking, seeing as men weren't supposed to cook if there was a woman around.
Pushing the logistics aside, I kept quiet and savoured the delicious meal.
Thirty minutes later, I was washing up Dylan and I's plates and he was shoving his shoes back on to leave. My phone was finished being set up with a tracker and Dylan popped on a sparkly pink phone case—which according to him, seemed like it was my 'vibe'.
Ryder was coming out of his room and running a hand through his hair when he caught Dylan's eye. "Leaving already?"
Dylan shrugged on his light jacket, pausing. "Missing me so soon, bestie?"
"Out," Ryder pushed him but I caught the small hint of happiness in his eyes at his friend. "Thanks for the stuff."
"You're saying that as if I didn't use your card," Dylan chuckled. He cast me a glance as I finished the last of the dishes, using a couple of paper towels to dry the sink of any residue. "Alrighty angel. Let's hope you survive till I next see you, okay?"
Ryder shook his head. "Stop fucking calling her that," he muttered under his breath.
I gave an unsteady smile, not sure what to do with Ryder's remark, and also sure that Dylan was making a joke despite knowing that Ryder was capable of anything. "O-okay... when should I be expecting you next?"
Ryder was already answering for him. "None of your business."
"I like to make surprise cameos, so don't worry about me!" Dylan called out before Ryder shoved him out the door, shutting it in his face.
As soon as it was just Ryder and I in his apartment once again, I opted to try and keep the light energy that Dylan had brought in. "Thank you," I called out softly. "For dinner."
Ryder gave me a bored once over, noting the paper towel in my hand that I had been using to dry the sink. I was prepared for him to make some sort of snarky remark back but instead he gave me a single nod, acknowledging my gratitude. "If you're hungry, you eat."
The statement surprised me. "O-okay... thank you."
I couldn't stop the bubble of happiness that was arising in the pit of my stomach, good feelings mixing within me and settling in my chest. My own room, a new phone, food—none of it seemed like it was really real. I couldn't remember the last time I had gotten so many privileges at once and I actually felt a small hint of anxiousness. Things always seemed to be good before they got bad, but maybe this was the start of a new pattern. The last two days have been so rough for me. Perhaps the universe was figuring I deserve a break.
Whatever the reason, I wasn't going to question it. Not this time.
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