I freeze when Aleks' lips crash into mine, but then I let my wants and actions take over and I kissed him back. I threw out my worries and responsibilities and threw out the thoughts that I shouldn't be doing this. I wanted to do this, I love him and I want to kiss him.
I moan against his mouth which lets his tongue slip in and I feel around his body a little bit before i let my hands rest on his stomach.
I don't need to feel bad about this, I should just enjoy kissing him. For the first time since my friends died, I feel happy and warm inside. I would've stayed like this all day - maybe even gone farther when Aleks made a huge mistake. He leaned back.
He breathed a little bit heavy as he looked me over, obviously finding me attractive, as he asked "Are you sure you are okay with this?"
I frowned at this question, because it forced me to think. And I knew - I wasn't okay with this. How the fuck could I be? A huge part of me wanted to ignore the fact that Aleks murdered my friends, but I can't do that. I pull further away from him.
"You're right. I'm not okay with this just- just, get the fuck away from me." I say to him.
"Eddie, you where just okay let's just talk this over, alright? I miss talking to you, please."
"There is nothing to say."
"There is plenty to say, Eddie! Stop being so frustrating please."
"Fine, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to state the fucking obvious? I don't want to kiss someone who murdered all my friends. I don't want to fucking kiss someone who I can't stand because they are fucking insane. You do realize that right Aleks? You are insane you need help or some shit, I can't deal with this I want to be go can't you just let me leave this goddamn island?"
Aleks glared at me, and I shrunk back at his hardened stare that actually scared me a little bit. I didn't realize how scary Aleks could be, but that gaze reminded me of what he is capable of and I think Aleks noticed that I'm scared of him, which makes him smirk a little bit. This is a different kind of Aleks than what I'm used to and the reality of his cruelty frightens me. He is not someone I should love. He honestly is a monster.
"You should be scared of me. No, you can't leave this fucking island, and I swear don't call me insane again. You kissed me like you loved me, I know you do Eddie. You aren't hiding anything from playing this little game. You will realize that and you will come and talk to me in my room when you do. Until then, fuck you I'm tired of your bullshit." Aleks said as left the room, slamming his door behind him.
"My bullshit? Have you looked in the mirror you hypocritical bastard at least I didn't murder my friends because I'm insane and wanted to date someone!" I scream back at him, but as soon as I let the adrenaline fade away and my heart stopped pumping so hard, I started crying. Again.
Short chapter here, because whatever. I got lazy and have been playing to much video games and watching to much TV to actually write.