Picture above of our leading lady, just because she is so beautiful!! She is so my girl crush! SIGH! If you like the story please share it with your friends! Now onto the story!
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Miserable! That's what I have been ever since Austin dropped me home two days ago. I have been holed up in my condo ever since. Austin has called me multiple times but we've only talked once. That one time we spoke I told him I needed time to myself, to think things over and he has respected my wishes. He has texted a few times to make sure I was alright but nothing more. This is going to sound weak, but I'm glad he hasn't called more that he has, because it would have only made me want to run to him. In all honesty, I need him more than I ever thought I would, especially at night.
On another note, Kylie called the day after I came home wanting us to get together for a girls night. Like Austin, I told her I had some things to think over but once I was done I would call her so we could talk. I ended up calling her last night and she is suppose to be coming over today. It's time I talk over everything with her so maybe I can figure out where to go from here. I haven't even rolled out of bed yet and I can tell today is going to be very emotional. Hopefully by the end of the day I will have clarity over this whole situation. I seriously don't know how much longer I could go on like this without going insane. Me cell phone ringing breaks me out of my thoughts. I roll over in the bed, grabbing it off the night stand, and answer it without looking at the caller id.
"Hello."
"Mia are you seriously still in the bed?" Kylie asks.
"Yes I am." I groan. "But I've been awake for hours."
"Something really is wrong if you are losing sleep?" She tries to joke, but I'm just nit in the joking mood.
"Yeah."
"Alright then. I'll be over shortly and we can talk."
"Kay." I mumble feeling like I already want to cry.
After Kylie hangs up, I toss my phone across my bed and let out a frustrated groan. I can't believe I haven't even spoken anything to Kylie about Austin, and I am already becoming an emotional mess. If this is any indication of how today is going to go, then maybe I should stay in bed the rest of the day. Ignoring that thought, I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. Once dressed, I head towards the kitchen for a cup of coffee when I hear the doorbell. I open the door already knowing it's Kylie, and step aside so she can come in. She walks to the living room while I continue on my path to the kitchen, where I fix us both a cup. As I take a seat next to her on the couch, I hand her her cup and sip from mine. Kylie places her cup down then turns to face me.
"Alright Mia, spill. What's going on?"
"It's complicated."
"Well make it uncomplicated and tell me."
"You know how Austin is one of my closest friends?" I say after several moments.
"Yeah, and?"
"How no matter what happens he's always there for me?"
"Get to the point Mia."
"Well," I pause. "I've been feeling things when I'm around him lately. Even before Tyler and I broke off whatever it was we had, I was feeling this way. It just keeps getting stronger every time I'm around him."
"Mia this really isn't news to me. I knew you had feelings for him before Tyler ever came into the picture. You were just dead set on being friends with him and nothing more."
"Kylie I really don't need a lecture right now. I'm just trying to figure out what it is I'm feeling towards him."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound like I was lecturing you. I was merely stating what I simply observed." She sighs. "Let's talk this out. Tell me how you feel when you're around him."
"I don't exactly know how to explain it, but I'll try." I say looking at the coffee in my hands. Taking a deep breath I start again. "I find myself wanting him when he's not here. Craving his touch when he's not near. Needing to hear his voice at least once a day. I lie awake at night unable to sleep when his arm aren't wrapped around me. He's the first thing I want to see when I open my eyes in the morning, and the last thing I want to see before I close them at night. It's like I can't function without him." By now the tears that I have been holding back are streaming down my face.
"Oh Mia...." she starts but I cut her off.
"Please let me finish before I can't."
"Okay." She nods and I continue on.
"He takes care me like no one else ever has or ever will. When I'm scared or just need a hug and he wraps me in his arms, I feel safe. Like nothing in this world could ever hurt me. Not that he would ever let it anyway. He's become my safe haven." I take a breath then start again. "His touch send chills throughout my body and leaves me wanting more. When I look into his eyes, I swear I can see my future and it's him. Austin treats me like I am the only woman he sees or needs. Yet I don't think I am. Just the thought of him with someone else causes feelings to arise inside me that I can't handle. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry to dump all this on you, I know it a lot. I just didn't know who else I could talk to besides you."
"You know you can always come to me whenever you need to talk about anything and I'll be here, but have you thought about talking to Austin about this? After all it does concern him too."
"I can't." I sigh.
"And why's that?"
"Because he's in love with someone."
"Yeah he sure is." Kylie smirks. "YOU!"
"No not me."
"Yes you."
"Kylie listen to me. He doesn't love me like that."
"How do you know if you've never asked him?"
"I just do." I pause and look at her. "I over heard him telling his mother that the only reason he hasn't confessed to the woman he loves is because he doesn't know how I will take it."
"What if the woman he loves is you and that why he's worried about how you'll take it?"
"It's not me."
"How can you be sure if you don't talk to him about the things you just told me?"
"I don't know."
"Mia listen to me. I know you don't believe this, but that man loves you like I've never seen a man love a woman before. It's in the way he cares for you and treats you. I see it in his eyes when he looks at you. When you walk into the room his whole face lights up and you are all he sees. I'm telling you Austin loves you, and I can tell you are in love with him too."
"WHAT!"
"Don't what me. Everything you just sat here and said to me, tells me all I need to know. From the way you speak about him, to the way you need him is a sure sign you love him. Why can't you just let yourself feel for once."
I sit there stunned, not knowing what to think or say. Could this be real? Am I in love with Austin? Have I pushed my feeling for him so far down just so I wouldn't have to feel anything? All of these questions are running through my head when I hear Kylie speak again.
"Let me ask you three questions Mia. First question: If Austin came to you tomorrow and told you he had found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and it wasn't you, how would you feel?"
"Crushed." The word falls out of my mouth without hesitation.
"Next question: When you picture your future, kids, husband, home, just the rest of your life in general, is Austin a part of it?"
"Yes." The tears continuing to fall.
"Last but certainly not least. Now do you know how you truly feel towards Austin? Before you answer, think about it for a moment."
"I don't need to think about it, because I know exactly how I feel."
"Which is?"
"I'm in love with my best friend. Oh God! I love Austin!"
"Glad I could help you finally admit it." Kylie smirks for the tenth time today.
"Kylie, I love Austin." I say feeling giddy.
"I know sweetie. I've always known. You can't hide things like this from me. Maybe from yourself but not me. So now that you know how you feel, what are you going to do about it?"
"There's somewhere I have to be. Be a good friend and let yourself out. I love you but I gotta go." I grab my bag and head for the front door.
"Go get your man girl. We'll talk later. Love you too."
The drive to Austin's house felt like it took forever. Maybe it's because I'm in a hurry to get to him. As I pull into the drive I notice a car parked there that I don't recognize. Not paying much attention to it, I park then walk to the front door. I would normally walk right in but when I go to open the door it's locked. That's strange. He never locks the door when he home. I ring the doorbell, anxious to see him and confess how I feel. I find myself bouncing on my feet with excitement until the front door in swung open. There standing before me is a beautiful blonde in nothing but a pair of tight shorts and one of Austin's white shirts. In this moment I can feel my heart shattering. This is not suppose to be the way it goes. This can't be happening, not now.
"Can I help you?" She asks leaning against the door frame.
"I, uh, I'm looking for Austin."
"Oh, well he just climbed in the shower. I was just about to do the same when you rang the bell." She laughs. "Would you like me to get him for you?"
"No you don't have to do that. I'll just go." I turn to walk away when I hear her speak again.
"Would you like to leave your name so I can let him know who stopped by?"
"No, that's okay. It doesn't matter anyway because I won't be back." The last part is only said loud enough for me to hear.
I can't believe I took a chance only to have my heart shattered. On the drive home all I can think about is how wrong Kylie was for thinking he loved me. How if he would answered the door, I would have made a fool out of myself by confessing my feelings to him. I don't know how I am going to go back to work in a week and act like everything is fine. Like my heart isn't broken.
The tears begin to pour as I unlock my door and walk inside. To my surprise I see Kylie still sitting on my couch. When she looks up from her phone the smile on her face turns to concern. She gets up and comes to me, taking my hand, and leads me to the couch. Once we sit she wraps he arms around me and pulls me close. Her arms around me cause the dam to break and I am full on sobbing.
"Mia, what's wrong?" She asks but I can't seem to form a sentence.
Knowing I can't talk about it tonight Kylie just holds me and lets me cry it out. She decides to stay with me tonight so I don't have to be all alone. My phone rings several times throughout the evening and I know it's Austin but I just can't talk to him right now. It would be to hard to hold it together long enough to say anything to him. At the end of the night, I end up falling asleep with Kylie holding me and tears streaming down my face. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
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Sorry if there are any mistakes. I will revise and fix them later. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and if you do please let me know. Thanks for all the reads and for sticking by me.
All the love. M