Chapter-1
Samantha P.O.V
‘Are you Samantha Collins?’ the boy in front of me asked. I tried to say yes but nothing came out. I just stood there like a mannequin. I was looking down at the ground not finding the courage to look him in his eyes. My hands were getting really sweaty out of nervousness. I felt really self-conscious as everyone’s eyes were on us.
I was wearing a floral sundress with cute peach colored ballet flat which had a bow in front. I had my red hair hung down my back which almost touched my butt with its natural wave. I always put a minimal amount of makeup which is mascara and lip balm. The boy in front of me wore a white V-neck t-shirt which clung to his body. I could make out his eight packs beneath the t-shirt. He wore black jeans and a black Nike shoes. He had his hair spiked up as always. Gosh he looked hot. Well he looked hot every day.
Oh hey there! You all must be really confused right now. Okay, first of all let’s start with an introduction. I am Samantha Collins, a grade 10 student in Redwood School. I live with my mom, dad and James, my little brother. I have four best friends Mary Nichols, Lucy Hilton, Stephen Gilbert and Brian Smith. The four of them are my life but sometimes I feel like killing them. And right now I feel like killing them. Okay, let me explain. You see this handsome and gorgeous and beautiful and hot and sexy boy in front of me is Damian Stones. Today makes it four years of adoring him behind his back. Yup, today was the day I fell for him. I never thought my crush for him would last this long. You see, four years back these four annoying people had told me to confess to him. That time I had said that at the fourth year anniversary (yes, I called it anniversary. Got a problem with that?) Of my crush for him I would confess my feeling to him. I thought that I would move on from him but no, I didn’t. So, as I promised I wrote a letter to him. Yes, a love letter and stuck it in his locker. He saw it probably. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be standing in front of me asking me if I was Samantha Collins. Maybe, some teacher has told him to call me. Yeah, that must be the case. He suddenly took out a white envelope from his backpack.
‘I take your silence as a yes. So, I presume this is yours?’ No, he probably saw the letter. OMG, he must have read it. He cleared his throat and said ‘I think I asked you a question. Is this yours?’ I nodded my head. He stood there looking at me for a while. He looked me up and down. Okay, this is not what I expected. He twirled me around and caught my hair in his hand as if examining it. He stared at me and examined every feature of my face. This is awkward. I didn’t know what to do so I just looked down on the ground. What the hell is he doing? I thought to myself. By now, everyone had gathered around us. He held my face in his hands and came closer, so close that his nose was touching mine. I could feel his breath fanning my face. OMG.OMG.OMG, he is going to kiss me in front of everyone! Than it probably means he likes me too. I think I am about to collapse due to over happiness.
I closed my eyes waiting for his lips to touch mine. But it never came; instead he said in my ears ‘I don’t like you.’ I opened my eyes. He took a step back and said ‘I don’t like you, Samantha Collins. I never will. You are not my type of girl. I mean look at you, with that kind of face and body you came to me to confess your feelings? God, help me. Hey, I will tell you what lose 50 kilos at least and come back to me. I may give you a shot.’ He winked at me and went with his friends. Everyone laughed at me. Alisa came and said ‘Hey fatso, I respect your courage, I really do.’ She smiled her evil smile and shouted out ‘Hey everyone, let’s hear it for ‘So fat Samantha’!’ Everyone started to laugh even harder and clapped. I ran outside of the school pushing everyone aside. I heard Lucy and Mary calling my name but I didn’t stop. I was hurt. I was rejected because I am fat, because I am ugly. I ran towards my car and went home. There was no one at home. Mom and Dad probably are at work and James at school.
I ran upstairs to my room and locked my door. I cried and cried and cried. It hurts. It really does. I used to make fun of the girls who used to cry over a guy but now I understood. I understood how they have must felt while getting…. Rejected. Damian Stones rejected me, Samantha Collins. I cried even harder. I was rejected by my crush for four years. The one I had adored and liked for four years rejected me. I was rejected by my first crush, my first… love. I know I loved him. Wait who am I kidding I still do. And what hurts me the most is that we were not even a thing and I am crying my lungs out for him. He rejected me.
My phone kept on buzzing with calls and messages. I just ignored it. I was lying flat on my bed. It must have already been more than 5 four hours of crying. I couldn’t help but hate myself. What the hell was I thinking confessing my feelings to him? What did I think he will like girl like me who probably looked like a fucking pig. He did what anybody would have done. Who would love a fat and ugly girl like me? I wouldn’t. If I was in his place I would have done the same thing. I am such an idiot. I got up and went inside my washroom. I looked at the mirror and gasped at the girl in the reflection. The girl didn’t look like me. She looked so.. Broken and hurt. My eyes were swollen and red due to crying. How long have I been crying? I walked out of my washroom and flopped down on my bed. I reached for my phone. I looked at the time and almost fell down from my bed. Holy shit! School is going to be over in half an hour. Lucy, Mary, Stephen and Brian will probably come here as soon as it’s over. I walked towards my full length mirror and talked with my reflection. ‘You ugly fat pig, how could you ever think Damian would ever accept you when you look like this.’ I said. I laughed at my reflection and went to my washroom for a shower. If my friends saw me like this they would probably run away searching for ghost busters.
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Brian P.O.V
‘When is this fucking bell ringing?’ I said to Stephen. Stephen banged his fist on the table and said ‘God dammit, the bell should have ringed 5 minutes ago.’ After 10 more minutes the bell rang. We both hurried out and met Lucy and Mary on the way. We were headed out of the building and towards our own cars which were right beside each other but suddenly someone shouted from back ‘Aww, going to calm your pig of a friend are we Smith?’
I turned around and saw the asshole, Damian Stones. How dare he call her a pig? I took a step towards him when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked beside me and saw Lucy. ‘Calm down, Bri. We don’t want a detention tomorrow do we?’ she said.
‘How could you possibly think about detention? This is Sam we are talking about. You know how broken she looked because of this fucking retard.’ I said.
‘Hey, I heard that!’ Asshole said.
‘I don’t care. Just go away before I choke you to death.’ I said venomously.
‘It is not my fault that I don’t like her. What do you want me to do huh? Be in a relationship which is not real?’ he said.
Okay, he has done it. I lunged at him and pinned him down on the ground. I punched him again and again. He was too shocked to response. After realization shot him, he pushed me and pinned me on the ground. He started to punch me. Man he hits hard. I could taste my blood coming out from my mouth. I pushed him again and started hitting him. He was about to hit back but we were torn apart. Stephen had caught hold of me and Lucy was calming Mary down. Mary was crying. Wait, why is Mary crying? I was about to ask her what is wrong but the asshole spoke stopping me.
‘Why are you acting like it’s my fault? I didn’t like her so I didn’t accept her feelings for me. What is so wrong with that? What is wrong with not dating someone who you don’t like? I will never like her. Ever. Get that in your fucking head, Smith!’ he said.
I was about to reply to him but Stephen suddenly spoke from beside me ‘Not accepting her feelings is a different thing. There was nothing you could do. But, making fun of her in front of everyone is a whole different story. You shouldn’t have done what you did, Stones. You could have told her somewhere in private not in front of everyone. Did you ever think that how much she must be hurting right now?’
Damian looked taken aback by that. Stephen smiled and shook his head. ‘Probably you haven’t.’ he said. Lucy came in and said ‘Let’s go. Sam, need us right now.’ We nodded and walked towards our car. We headed out of the parking lot and towards Sam’s house.
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Samantha P.O.V
I was watching The Vampire Diaries and eating ice-cream. Tears started to roll down from my eyes. The Stelena moments are just too cute. I thought about me and Damian being like that, both so truly and deeply in love with each other. This one sided thing totally sucked. I just stuffed my mouth with a spoon full of ice-cream and just then someone ringed the bell at the door. I got up from my comfortable couch and went to open the door. As soon as I opened the door, I was welcomed by a bone crushing hug. It was Mary and Lucy. They were both mumbling something I couldn’t hear properly.
‘I can’t b-breath’ I finally managed to choke out. They both quickly let me go and apologized. I smiled at them and said ‘Apology accepted.’
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We were all inside the living room watching vampire diaries and eating ice creams. And yes, the boys slept after 15 minutes of watching it. Well boys will be boys. They hadn’t brought up the Damian topic and I was glad for that. I looked at Brian and frowned. I asked the girls ‘Is that a bruise on Bri’s cheek?’ The girls suddenly stopped eating there ice-cream and looked at each other. I asked them ‘What happened in school today after I left?’
Lucy and Mary looked at each other. Mary nodded her head and Lucy said ‘Yeah, it’s a bruise. He got into a small fight with Robin. You know how they don’t get along.’ I looked at Mary and she smiled nervously. Hah! Gotcha. I smiled at them and shook my head. ‘You know I have known you both since kindergarten and I know when you are lying.’ I said.
They both gulped and Lucy muttered under her breath. She looked up at me and held my hand. She smiled at me and said ‘Sam, you know that what Damian did was wrong. He shouldn’t have said what he had said. You ran away and you looked so hurt. Brian and Stephen were fuming with anger because of that. And while coming here, Damian said something rude. And Brian being Brian couldn’t take it so he punched him. Obviously, Damian punched him back which resulted on a small fight.’
‘Small?’ Mary said from behind Lucy. She hasn’t spoken much today. Lucy rolled her eyes and said ‘Okay, a little more than small.’ Mary smiled at her and stood up and kneeled down in front of me. She held my other free hand and said ‘Sam, are you okay?’ I looked at her confused. I was about to say yeah but stopped. Am I really okay? Obviously not. I still have feelings for him. I am sure as soon as they leave; I will lock myself inside the bedroom and start to cry my lungs out. I would probably cry myself to sleep today. I wanted to say that I am not okay. I wanted to say that I was hurt and felt rejected and ugly. But I didn’t. I simply replied them with a yeah and a smile.
Mary shook her head and smiled. ‘We are friends since kindergarten. We can tell when you are lying or not.’ She said. After hearing that, I couldn’t stop myself. All the tears and emotions flowed down. I started to cry really badly. ‘H-he rejected me-e. He do-doesn’t li-like me. I-It hu-urts. It-t r-rea-ally do-oes. ’ I said between sobs. I brought my hands to my face and cried even harder. I couldn’t stop myself. All the emotions just spilled out. I cried even harder when I thought that Damian will never like me. He hated me. I felt someone grab my hands and pulled them down. I tried to hide my face but he held my face in his hands. ‘Look at me, Sam.’ Stephen said softly. I looked at his ocean blue eyes. He smiled at me and said ‘Hey, don’t let that piece of shit bring you down. You are beautiful, Samantha. And it’s his loss if he doesn’t see it. You are an amazing girl. You will have a lot of boys lining up for you in the future. So, do not let this thing bring you down. You hear me? Do not let him bring you down.’ I nodded my head and smiled at him. ‘I love you all.’ I said. Brian kneeled down beside Mary. He held my face and wiped my tears with his thump. ‘We love you too, Sammie.’ He said and smiled. I was sandwiched in a group hug. I giggled and said ‘Okay, enough of this emotional shit. Let’s go to Subway. Shall we?’ Everyone smiled and nodded their head. I quickly ran upstairs and changed into a plain black t-shirt and blue jeans. I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys of my baby.
‘Ready?’ I said while putting on my converse. I stood up and everyone said ‘Yeah!’
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This whole Subway thing was a very bad idea. As soon as we entered, I saw Damian sitting with his friend and obviously Alisa on his laps. C’mon they aren’t even in a relationship! Someone held my hand. I looked up and saw Brian’s handsome face smiling at me. Yes, I said he his handsome. No, I don’t have a crush on him. They both are. By both I meant Stephen and Brian. Girls are always begging for their attention. Both are super-hot. Well, a little less than Damian. The three of them are the sex god of our school. Oh wait, it’s four. Yeah, four of them are the sex god of our school. The fourth one is Stanley Hutchinson. But everyone calls him Stan. If he hears you calling by his full name, he will probably beat you to death. Stanley’s really handsome with his brown eyes and hair. He is as tall as Damian. He is as hot as Damian. He doesn’t have a girlfriend which results in every girl clinging on him for his attention.
We walked towards the counter and smiled at the waitress. We ordered our usual and were walking towards our usual place in the corner. While we were heading towards our seat, Damian and his group saw us. My eyes were fixed on Alisa. She smirked at me and kissed Damian on the cheek. Damian looked at me and turned to Alisa and kissed her on the lips. Kiss is not the correct word; they wore more like sucking their faces. He stopped and looked at me. He smirked and again started sucking faces with Alisa. I couldn’t handle it. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. I ran out of the subway and went towards the woods behind. I sat on one of the logs and started crying louder. The picture of them kissing came over and over again in my mind.
‘There you are! I have been looking for you.’ Someone said from behind. He came and sat beside me. I couldn’t see who it was as the palm of my hands was hiding my face but I knew it was a boy. I mean no girl would have a husky and sexy voice like this. I cried even harder. He put his hand on my shoulder and said ‘Hey, it’s alright.’ I dropped my hand to see who it was and was shocked.
‘Stanley! What are you doing here?’ I asked. He smiled and said ‘Just came to check up on you. Sorry about the thing today in school. Damian’s a real dick. I asked him to apologize to you but he didn’t.’ I smiled at him and said ‘You asked him to apologize to me? Why? It was my mistake. I should be the one to apologize to him. I embarrassed him by confessing my feelings to him in front of everyone.’
‘No, Samantha. He shouldn’t have done what he did to you. He made fun of you in front of everyone. If I was you I would have kicked him in the balls again and again until he said sorry.’ He said.
I laughed and said ‘Too much violence for me.’
He smiled and said ‘you are too innocent, Samantha. I hope Damian would realize what he would be losing.’ I smiled and looked above at the sky. We were quiet for a while.
‘Why did you come after me? I mean we haven’t even talked for a single time.’ I said and looked at him. He was looking up in the sky as well. His brown hair was perfectly spiked. He wore a white t-shirt and black jeans with a converse. He looked down at me for a while. We both stared at each other. My heart did a backflip while he stared at me. I have a really strange heart. He looked up in the sky again and smiled.
‘Because I hate it when a beautiful girl cries.’ He said. I nearly fell down from the log we were sitting on. My heart started to beat really fast. I think I heard him wrong I thought to myself. Yeah, it probably must be that.
‘Sorry, I think I heard it wrong. Can you say it again?’ I said.
He laughed and ruffled my hair. ‘Hey!’ I said slapping his hand away. He laughed even harder. What is so funny about saying hey? I pushed him of the log and laughed at him. He stood up and glared at me. I stopped laughing immediately. Oh shit! Is he angry? I am dead.
‘I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you but I did. But I didn’t mean to. I swear I just pushed you to laugh at you. Oh no, not to laugh at you. I just pushed you to… er… to see how much pain you can handle? Yeah, for that. And man, you can really handle the pain. Impressive.’ I said and smiled at him innocently. He was glaring at me angrily. Any minute now I’ll be dealing with a very angry Stanley. And a very angry Stanley is not good. At all. He suddenly started laughing. What the hell? He was laughing so hard that he fell down from the log. He was clutching his stomach and lying on the ground. He was turning all red.
‘You should have seen your face. Priceless.’ He said and again started laughing.
I smacked his shoulder and said ‘You are such an idiot!’ He laughed even harder after I said that. I stomped by foot like a 5 year old would and said ‘this is so not funny, Hutchinson.’ He stopped laughing after a while and stood up. He wiped the tears in his eyes and said ‘Let’s go. Your friends must be worried.’ I nodded my head and we headed towards subway. As soon as we got inside Mary shouted ‘Sammie!’ I smiled at her and waved. I looked at Stanley and smiled at him. ‘Thank you, Stanley. Well, ignoring the part that you laughed at me you really helped me feel better. You are a really nice guy.’ I said.
He smiled and said ‘Thank you and welcome.’ I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion and said ‘Why the thank you?’ He smiled again and said ‘For making me laugh that hard. Trust me I haven’t laughed like that for a long time. It was good knowing you Samantha.’ I smiled and said ‘It’s good to know you too, Stanley.’ With that I headed towards my girls and boys, not even a spearing a glance at Damian. I smiled and said ‘Hey! Where’s my coffee?’ Lucy handed me my coffee. ‘Thank you.’ I said and took a sip of it. I closed my eyes at the pleasure of the taste of it. Four pairs of eyes were on me after I opened mine. ‘What?’ I asked. Brian shook his head and said ‘Nothing.’ Everyone laughed. I gave them a you-guys-are-weird look. Stephen said ‘What’s with your face?’ I turned towards him and said ‘It’s a you-guys-are-weird look.’ Everyone laughed at that.
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I was lying on my bed thinking about the events that happened today. I smiled when I remembered the part of me and Stanley. He’s a really great guy. After spending 3 more hours laughing, we all had headed home. It was already 6 o’ clock. I didn’t feel like eating anything so, I passed dinner. It was 9 o’ clock now. I turned on my phone and opened Facebook. My heart sank after what I saw. There was a photo posted by Alisa, the whore. In the photo Alisa was kissing Damian on the cheeks while Damian was smirking at the camera. I felt like throwing my cellphone. Tears again started to roll down my face. I closed my phone and tossed it on the side table. If every time I see him with another girl, I break down than Bri, Steph, Luce, Mary everyone who cares about me will get upset and disappointed. Maybe even Stanley may get disappointed. I need to move on from Damian. What should I do? How can I move on from him? I quickly unlocked my phone and dialed the number of the person who I can always rely on when in problems. Stella. Stella is my cousin. She lives in New York. We are really close.
‘Hello?’ She said.
‘Stella, I need help.’ I said.
‘Sure, how can I help you?’ Stella said.
‘You know Damian. I told him that I liked him.’ I said.
‘What?!’ She said. ‘Fill me in right now!’
I told her everything from school to subway. I obviously cried while telling her about Damian and Alisa. She stayed quiet for a while. And then she suddenly spoke again.
‘Come stay with me for a while.’ She said.
‘What?’ I asked surprised by her suggestion.
‘Look, you need to move on from him. If you see him every day, you can’t be able to. He obviously wants to make you feel hurt and jealous. Every guy will not be like Stanley you know. Come on Sam, Stay here for a year or so until you get over him. You can study junior year of high school in here with me. You can make new friends and meet new boys. It will help you move on from him.’ she said.
‘It’s not that easy, Stella. I need to complete grade 10. Meeting new boys? Who would even look at a fat pig like me?’ I said.
‘If you are worried about your weight than gyms are always there. I’ll help you lose your fat. Don’t worry. You’ll be all hot and gorgeous. We’ll shop in here for your new wardrobe and all. Every boy will droll over you. Damian will regret for not accepting you.’ She said. I stayed quiet for a while thinking about it.
‘Well than hello to New York. This year is going to finish in 2-3 months or so. I’ll be there as soon as it finishes.’ I said.
‘I can’t wait!’ Stella said. I knew she was jumping on her bed due to over excitement. We hung up after talking for a while. Mom and Dad may not agree with this decision at first but they will eventually end up agreeing with it. The only thing difficult left is to tell my best friends. Oh they are not going to be happy about this.
Ugh, I don’t look forward to going to school tomorrow.
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yes, the title is quoted in 'the fault in our stars'. That book is just so awesome and touching. John Green is such an amazing writer. I feel like crying everytime i read the book. Anyways, here is the story that i have been writing. This story has a lot of imperfections i know but please give it a shot. and please please please do vote, comment, share and all the other good stuffs. i'll post the other chapter soon. till then Bie-bie, my lovelies.