Everyone else is just as stunned and confused. The Wreckers are all looking at Nina with raised eyebrows like they just can't wait for an explanation. The Bangerz, however, glance between my cousin and me with a range of expressions. I notice that they all have a hint of distaste, though - especially Jason's. He clenches his jaw and tightens his hold around my shoulders.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, looking at Nina incredulously. I know she's not just here to watch like the crowd gathered around the fence. They're really watching us now.
"I could ask you the same thing." Nina crosses her arms over her chest and sticks her chin out, defiant. That's my cousin: kind and good-mannered and well-behaved but never afraid to defend herself. Basically like me.
"How do y'all know each other?" Za questions for everyone.
"She's my cousin," Nina and I say simultaneously, and the crowd around us sounds with a chorus of "Oohs" and "Oh shits". Both the Wreckers and the Bangerz groan, and I hope that my friends' annoyance isn't directed at me. I'm sure that us being cousins is a conflict of interest. But how was I supposed to know Nina is a part of Jason's rival crew? I thought I knew my cousin. I was wrong.
"Why you ain't tell us your cousin joined their crew?" Quavo asks Nina, sending her a sharp look. Obviously he's the leader.
"I didn't know," she insists. "I swear. She just started hanging with them when she started at North Shore, I guess."
Adrian snorts. "She's a newbie. No wonder she was so quick to snitch."
"You've caused a lot of trouble for a newbie," Tate notes, giving me a dirty look.
"Like what?" I demand, my irritation and confusion mounting. I want some answers and I'm tired of them referring to me in the third person, or like I'm not even there. "And my name's not 'she' or 'newbie' or 'snitch'. It's TK."
"I thought it was Tessa." Cherry purses her red lips and glances between Nina and me.
"Does she have to say it again?" Khalil threatens, looking extremely annoyed.
"Back to what I was saying," Tate interrupts, raising a hand and dissolving the tension - sort of. She steps forward and glowers at all of us. But me especially. "The trouble. You rocked the boat, newbie. TK. Whatever. Some serious shit is about to go down between our crews. We're in the middle of war. How do we know you won't go running and snitching again when it gets real? This time to the cops?"
They all cock an eyebrow and give me intimidating expressions, like they're daring me to go running my mouth. Or trying to force me to break down and give it up. But I'm doing neither. This is part of my test, I know: my first experience with the gang. If I can't handle the initiation - getting antagonized and put on blast by the Wreckers - then what can I handle?
Meanwhile, I see what Jason said about them being so petty.
"I'm not going anywhere," I declare, my voice bitter and firm. "If you wanna worry about someone chickening out, you should be worrying about Nina."
"Excuse me?" she snaps in disbelief. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that last time I checked, you were afraid of the dark and driving too fast," I point out, gesturing to our surroundings. "I just don't understand how you're here, and why I never knew about you being a..." I trail off at a loss for words. What is she, exactly? I can't reconcile any of this.
Nina stands defiantly and pouts. "We're not kids anymore, mami. And what about you? You shocked me. Why are you hanging out with them?" Her gaze is resentful as it travels over the Bangerz.
"You used to hang out with us," Miley retorts. "What, now that you left us for the Wreckers we're not good enough anymore?"
"She didn't just leave us, she betrayed us," Jason corrects from my side. His voice is acidic, biting. It's the first time he's spoken in several minutes, and I peek at him to see that his fist is clenching at his side. He's pissed.
I, as usual, am more confused than ever at what they just said. I have more to learn. And I will. I shake my head and glare at my cousin.
"They're my friends," I say defensively, and pointedly. "Why are you hanging out with these ass clowns?"
Za and Khalil glance over at me in surprise. Miley snickers, and Jason nudges me in appreciation.
"Why do you think?" Adrian snaps. "She's a Wrecker."
"Yeah, but she's my cousin," I insist deliberately. I fidget a little at the overall awkwardness of this whole situation, and peer at Jason's crew in my periphery. They're standing solidly beside me, regarding the Wreckers closely. In that moment I remember what Miley said about tonight being a match-up for us, a chance to know the enemy's strengths and weakness. Nina and I have tipped the scales - but in whose favor?
"This changes things," I reason.
"Actually, it doesn't change shit." Johnny rolls his sleeves up, exposing his several tattoos, and pulls out a set of keys. "Trust me, we still hate y'all. And we're still drifting tonight. Or are you stalling?"
"Nah, just taking my time," Jason corrects him in an unfriendly tone. He unhooks his arm from my shoulders and steps forward. "Let's get this started. Za, give me the keys."
Za nods and tosses him the keys to the Mustang. Jason raises an eyebrow and smirks at the Wreckers like he's waiting for one of them to step up to the challenge, and I suddenly remember that he drives fast.
"Who's first?" he says.
"Leggo," Quavo replies, nodding his head at Johnny. Johnny nods back and heads over to the Camaro.
Jason glances back at us expectantly.
"I'll go with you," Miley volunteers, her blue eyes wicked and bright with mischief. She pulls out her lighter and ignites her blunt expertly, then takes a drag and blows out a cloud with ease. I didn't even notice she rolled one up.
The two of them start walking across the yard to where we parked the Mustang. Outside the fence the crowd shifts to line up along the road illuminated only by the dim streetlamps hanging overhead.
I stand with Za and Khalil on the edge of the sidewalk, right beside the Mustang. Cherry, Adrian, and Tate stand parallel, further down the street. We get front-row seats. Nina moves to stand between the two cars in the street and puts her hands on her hips.
"First race is the turnabout route," she informs everyone. "It's a straight shot to the warehouse at the end of this block, a sharp left, and four right turns to circle back here. First car to pass me where I'm standing right now wins. Got it?"
The crowd murmurs in anticipation. Johnny revs up the engine to the Camaro and it roars to life like a racecar. Jason puts his foot down on the gas pedal of the Mustang, which is still in park, and it vrooms loudly, tires squealing.
Nina raises her arms above her head. Her dark eyes gleam in the night. "Ready!" she shouts. "Set... GO!"
The cars zoom forward so fast I can't even tell which one moved first. A cloud of exhaust and the acrid scent of burning rubber fills the air. The revelers hurry to the edge of the sidewalk to watch the cars as they race down the street, turn into a blur of yellow and red, and finally disappear around the corner.
I marvel at the thrill and enthusiasm in the air. This is exciting and riveting. Someone is still blasting music like we're at a party. Despite Jason's denial of it earlier I do feel like I'm in a Fast & Furious movie.
"Why do they need two people in the car?" I ask Za and Khalil.
"One to drive, one to direct," Za answers. "The person in the passenger seat keeps an eye on the competition so the driver can keep an eye on the road. We go so fast that we need to do both at the same time."
I nod, recalling the way our rivals choose to compete. "How do we know the Wreckers won't cheat?"
Khalil smirks. "We got them, ma. There's more people watching from checkpoints down the road. Whatever the course is, you gotta take it. No shortcuts or alternate routes. If they try anything someone down there will call 'em out."
"It ain't worth it to cheat anyway," Za announces, glancing at his Rolex. He must be counting the time of the race. "There's no big prize. We only drift for bragging rights."
"And for the girls who come to watch," Khalil reminds him, glancing over his shoulder. Za grins in agreement and they handshake.
I shake my head at them but can't help my smile. "Do you guys win all the time?"
"Almost all the time," Nina answers off to my left, and we all turn to face her. She's walking over to us from the middle of the street but keeps her eyes up and down the road. She stops at the curb and smiles slyly. "But we get 'em when we want to." She looks at Za and Khalil. "Remember that time I beat y'all last summer? People still call me Skids for that."
Last summer? How long has she been part of the Wreckers crew?
"I thought they called you that 'cause that's all you're good for." Za's tone is sarcastic. "Being fast." He looks her up and down and raises an eyebrow. I can't even tell if he's joking or not.
"Yeah, go on and run back to your lil' finish line," Khalil tells her, shooing her away with a wave of his hand. "Blondie and Bizzle will come whippin' around real soon."
Nina purses her lips and looks at them flatly. She doesn't appreciate their reaction - but why wouldn't they take their jabs at her? She's the one who came over here acting arrogant and haughty.
"I heard you guys like it fast," she remarks curtly. "Guess you'll never find out about me." And then she puckers her glossy lips tauntingly at them before tossing her hair and switching off back to the middle of the street.
I stare after her for a moment, utterly taken aback. I think I've gotten over the fact that she had a secret life as a gang member and never told me about it. What I haven't gotten over is this complete change in personality. This isn't the Nina I know. I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite - I'm thrilled by this danger, unfazed by the trouble, and becoming more like my better-badder-bolder twin every day. But what's with the attitude?
Curiously, I remember what Jason and Miley said about this back in the yard. I turn to face Za and Khalil. Both are watching the road patiently but expectantly, arms crossed over their chests. The first race will be over any minute now, so I decide to seize this window of opportunity to ask some questions.
"Somebody please tell me what's going on with this," I plead, pointing to Nina, then at them, and finally down the street to the rest of the Wreckers.
They exchange brief, hesitant looks. Some unspoken communication passes between them, as if they're deciding who's going to talk - if they're going to talk at all. Finally Za sighs and nods grimly.
"Nina, your cousin?" he relates, his voice dropping to a low volume only we can hear. "She used to hang with us. She was part of our crew last year. We were real cool. Russo was her nickname."
"She was our lookout," Khalil explains. "She would watch out for shipments all the way up to San Diego. And check up on our turf. Since she was homeschooled she had more time on her hands to keep an eye on things."
Za looks at me and starts shaking his head. "But it was all fake, Tess. Turns out she was a traitor. She was part of the Wreckers. She was spying for them, trying to find out where our spots are, who we do business with, how we keep up on our turf, et cetera. They found out all our shit."
"That's always been our beef with them," Khalil adds resentfully. "That's why any gang rivals with another, but the Wreckers crossed the line with all their shade, jealousy, and betrayal. Our war started for real when we found out."
"Jason went ape-shit on the Wreckers," Za informs me, his tone as dark as the night. "When we found him, we had to hold him back from killing Adrian and Johnny, but he couldn't take Quavo. Not without killing himself in the process. He was pissed. All of us were. Nina fucked all our stuff up."
Khalil nods. "After that they swore their grudge on us. That's when they started their revenge and got Jason's dad involved. It was messy. We squashed that shit right then, though, and it was quiet for a few months. Over the summer we had to fix up everything."
"We was always plotting, though," Za assures me, rubbing his hands together and cracking his knuckles. "War wasn't over yet. We were just on the defense while we patched up. We had to wait for the Wreckers to make their move. And they did. When they trashed the skate park all hell broke loose again."
"It's angels versus devils now," Khalil declares metaphorically. He glances at me and smirks ever so slightly - but there's no mistaking the menacing determination in it. "And the angels always win." He holds up his prayer hands to let me know which is which. The Wreckers are the devils. The Bangerz are the angels. And the Bangerz always win.
Za nods in agreement, and they both look at me for my response to their explanation. I can only nod in acknowledgement as my mind boggles, recalling everything they have told me up to this point. Whoa. Everything makes sense now!
I met the Wrecker crew at the skate park to remind them who they're dealing with. They weren't happy about me fucking up their messenger, but now they know what's up. Jason said that. He was confronting the Wreckers and reestablishing their war.
The Wreckers hold grudges. And this time we won't stop warring until it ends. For good. Miley said that. She was referring to what went down with Nina and how they were going to ultimately get revenge.
I'm so glad to finally have another girl in the group... We didn't always need a new recruit. Miley said that, too. She was talking about having Nina and not needing another member - until she betrayed them, of course.
They're shady, petty as fuck, and we hate them... They won't stop until they have everything they want. But this time we don't know what they want.
Well, according to what Za and Khalil have just revealed, the Wreckers want vengeance. But that can mean anything. I guess that's what Jason meant. Why is it that when I learn something new or figure something out, I still need to know more? This "thug life" is a never-ending game of 21 Questions. And half the time the answers leave me with more questions.
Suddenly the sound of engines echo from down the street. Everyone moves excitedly and peers to see the Mustang and the Camaro zooming straight towards us, neck and neck.
Nina stands in the middle of the street casually as if two cars aren't speeding at her and raises her arms again. The crows starts yelling and cheering for their favorite. Seconds later, the vehicles whip past and come to a screeching stop past Nina, who lowers her arms as they pass the finish line.
"Did y'all see that?" Za asks Khalil and me animatedly. "Big Bertha was slidin'!"
I blink at him. "Who?"
"His car," Khalil explains, rolling his eyes, and I laugh.
Jason and Miley hop out of "Big Bertha", grinning and fist-bumping. They circle back to us and the masses, walking with some well-earned cockiness. The people in the crowd who were rooting for them clap and hurrah. Sure, this is war, but drifting is for bragging rights and it's all in good fun.
"She's smooth," Jason tells Za appreciatively, grinning and jerking a thumb at the Mustang. He turns to me and twirls the ring of keys around his finger. "What'd you think, TK?"
I look at him, all sexy and carefree and spirited - then for a moment I forget about the drama and conflict. He doesn't look angry or troubled or sad, and that eases me. Because I care about him. Because today I have found out what makes him feel those ways. I grin at him.
"About your driving?" I say, and purse my lips as I consider. I pretend to be unimpressed. "Eh, I don't know. I think you should stick to skateboarding."
He presses his tongue against his cheek. Before he can reply the Wreckers rally and get our attention.
"Okay, so you won that one," Quavo admits, crossing his arms over his chest. His biceps bulge under his T-shirt. "Let's go again."
"Single drivers this time." Tate holds up one finger, showing of her black dagger-like nails. "To make it interesting."
"Who's up?" Adrian says, and everyone looks around at each other expectantly.
"I am," I volunteer suddenly, surprising myself but not regretting it. I look over at my cousin and harden my resolve and gaze. I'm no longer confused and stunned by her presence. I'm pissed at her after what Za and Khalil just told me. "Nina, let's go. You and me."
She hikes her eyebrows at my challenge. But after a moment mischief replaces it and she smiles. "Fine. We'll race straight to the end of the block, all the way down, and turn around. Whoever gets back here first wins."
We appraise each other equally and I nod, accepting her terms. This is just like when we used to play hopscotch for candy or jump rope for the biggest room in the Barbie House. Sort of.
"Who's gonna give the green light?" Cherry asks.
Without a second thought I glance behind me at Miley. She nods and grins, already making her way to the middle of the street. With her all black ensemble, blood-red lipstick, and short platinum blonde hair, she looks like a femme fatale.
I straighten my beanie and start stalking towards the Mustang with feisty determination. Jason catches my elbow, turning me around and pulling me back to him.
"Hold on, baby girl," he says, looking down at me with gleaming honey eyes. "You need the keys."
"Oh, right." I feel silly as he drops them in my open palm. The metal is cold and hard against my skin.
"Good luck." He smirks. Then he reaches up and tugs gently on my chin. "And stop biting that lip."
Dazed by his touch and deliciously wicked look, I almost forget where I am and what I'm doing. But I manage to nod my head at him, and turn around, then shake my head at myself to clear my thoughts. He's so distracting. Especially when he touches me.
The Wreckers and the Bangerz watch Nina and me, respectively, as we claim our cars. I settle into the Mustang - almost falling into the seat again; what is with the boys and low rides?! - and pull the chair up so I can reach the pedal. Never realized how short five-four is until now.
"On my count," Miley announces as she pulls out her blunt again. Or is it a new one? When does she roll these things? She flicks her lighter open. "Game, set, match. Ready?"
Nina rolls down the passenger window of the Camaro. "Don't forget your seatbelt, Tess!" she shouts sarcastically.
"Game..."
"Thanks, Dora the Explorer!" I shout back to her, and the glare she gives me is pretty priceless.
"Set," Miley continues, igniting the end of her stick.
I grip the steering wheel. The sole of my sneaker rests lightly against the gas, waiting to press down. My leg wiggles in anticipation.
"Match!" Miley yells, exhaling a cloud of smoke.
I slam my foot down on the accelerator and shoot forward. The tires squeal on the asphalt and the engine revs under me ferociously. Wow. This car is really fast, sleek, and smooth for a vintage automobile. Za obviously takes care of it.
The needle of the speedometer creeps past ninety. Holy shit. I've never driven this fast. I have to sit super-straight like there's a board against my back to get a better view of the road. I can't see much beyond the stretch of the headlights. The rearview mirror is off by a few inches for my line of vision. The wind is slapping me in the face. But despite these obstacles a rush of excitement seizes me. This is fun as hell.
Keeping a firm grip on the steering wheel, and a heavy foot on the gas, I peek at Nina out my open window. She's speeding alongside me, gaze trained through the windshield. She swerves closer to my side suddenly and I look back to the road, losing my focus for a split second. We're coming up to the end of the block.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins. This turn is going to make or break the race. When we reach the dead-end I shift my foot to the brake, circle the wheel, and peel around so abruptly the tires screech and I'm jostled in my seat. Nina skates past me dangerously close: for a moment it looks like we'll collide and give each other new paint jobs.
But we don't. I made my turn seconds before, which gives me an advantage, and I zoom back down the street to our finish line. Nina speeds beside - but also behind - me.
I laugh to myself in delight. Big time rush! My heart's beating as fast as the car's going. The glow of the street lamps blur into quick, successive bursts of light like the flashes of a camera. Looks like I'm winning this one.
I hear the crowd cheering as I approach them. I see Miley's slender figure in the middle of the street. Ramming my foot down one more time, I drive forward and pass her pretty cleanly... only to slam on the brake to avoid colliding with the Camaro that swerves in front of me. Miley has to jump back so she doesn't get squished - or flattened.
The crews hurry into the street and gather around us to see what the hell is going on. I clamber out of the Mustang and ask for them.
"Nina, what the hell?" I demand, looking back at Miley. She seems a little stunned but her blue gaze is as cold as ice.
Nina crosses her arms and leans against the car. I notice the Wreckers have formed a line beside her.
"Just shaking things up, mami," she insists, shrugging innocently. "I'm a sore loser, remember?"
I ignore her nostalgia. "You almost ran Miley over."
"Maybe I meant to."
"I'll roll you up and light you, bitch," Miley threatens drily. She flicks her blunt on the ground and stamps it out with the toe of her sneaker.
"Before or after you sleep with your whole crew?" Nina asks bitingly, jerking her chin at Za, Khalil, and Jason. "'Cause you need to be high to do both."
The crowd gasps and mutters, instigating.
I look at my cousin and shake my head, kind of disgusted. "Says the girl who betrayed people who thought you were their friend. Which is just as bad as whoring around, isn't it?" I glance back at my friend. "And Miley's not slutty or fast. You're the one called Skids."
Jason, who is standing right beside me, raises his eyebrows and regards me like he can see my twin right through me again. I was going to find out eventually anyway - I think he's just surprised that I didn't ask him first.
The Wreckers blink at me in astonishment. At this point I don't care if I embarrass Nina or shoot myself in the foot by stirring up trouble. Because no matter what happens now, this night has changed things. And there's no turning back.
"That's old news," Quavo finally says in a cool voice.
"Not to me," I reply, tightening my shirt around my waist. I turn back to Nina. "Never mind that you're part of the Wreckers. I can't believe you manipulated, backstabbed, and lied to good people. It's like I don't even know you anymore."
"Good people?" Nina scoffs. "Tess, you're being such a hypocrite. You're hanging with Bangerz. They have the name for a reason." She pauses and looks at me a bit sympathetically. "It's kind of disrespectful."
"To who?"
The pity on her face grows but her mouth forms a hard line like she's disapproving. "Your parents," she answers cautiously, like she's reminding me of the sensitive topic.
Her reply is like a slap in the face. Whispers of discomfort, confusion, and curiosity ripple through the crowd and the crews. They no longer know what Nina's talking about. I do, though, and it jabs me so quickly and suddenly in my gut that tears burn in the back of my eyes. My bravado and toughness wears off. This isn't the time or place for this discussion.
"You know what, Nina? I think it's time to go," I say, clenching my fists to keep my hands from shaking.
She looks at me indifferently and decides that this is best. "Fine. Let's go, Chris. You can drop me off now." She nods to Quavo - Chris must be his real name.
"No," I protest firmly. "I don't want you knowing where I live. I turn to face Jason. "Jason, can you take us home please?"
His gaze skips back and forth between Nina and me. He must be feeling all kinds of disbelief, irritation, and overall worked up-ness at tonight's events. But in typical Jason McCann fashion, he shows nothing.
Finally he nods at me and surprises me by offering his hand. I take it immediately. When he did this earlier he was helping me up. There must be something in my expression that lets him know I need the support again.
*****
The drive home is awkward, to say the least. It's probably because of all the energy in the car: the sensual tension between Jason and me; the hatred and bitterness between Jason and Nina; the falling out I feel coming with my cousin because of this gang business.
I'm grateful when we finally pull up to the curb of the townhouse. Jason pulls the key out of the ignition and pauses in the quiet. I tap my foot in anticipation - I can't wait to look Nina in the eye and talk to her without the hype.
"It's dark. I should walk you guys up," Jason says, starting to get out.
"No thanks." Nina grabs her bag and shuffles out of the car. She slams the door and stalks up the walkway.
I grimace at her rudeness and wait for Jason to come around and open my door. I ask him to join us inside the house. I don't want him to leave yet - not until I get an explanation from Nina. I know I'll get the whole truth while he's here.
Nina drops her bag on the couch and turns to face me. She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows at me like she knows I'm going to interrogate her. Jason stands beside me with his hands in his pockets, quiet. I'd kill to find out what he's thinking right now.
"So Tess," Nina says after several moments of silence. "How'd you know about the scheme we pulled last year?"
Scheme. As if it were some genius plan the Wreckers concocted and not utter betrayal and conspiracy.
"Za and Khalil told me," I answer tersely. "They trust me. Like they trusted you."
She rolls her eyes excessively. "Oh, please. Spare me the lecture, Miss America. Not everyone is a goody two-shoes all the time."
I sigh. I'm not a hypocrite, and I'm not going to act like I haven't done some changing of my own. "It's not about that."
"Then what is it?"
"Where did this come from?" I gesture to her. "Who are you right now?"
"I didn't change, Tess. I've always been competitive and daring. You know that. And I always wanna have fun. That's all I'm doing."
"How did you even meet the Wreckers?"
"I'm homeschooled. And you know I travel a lot. I have friends everywhere. I met them at a party and we just clicked."
"Yeah," I mutter. "You 'clicked' so much that you spied for them. Why'd you do it?"
She turns away from me, pressing her lips together deliberately. "I did what I had to do for the crew. Haven't you ever done bad things for good reasons?"
I hesitate for a beat. I know what that's like - listening to the angel on your shoulder but at least considering what the devil has to say. My twin is my little devil. But lately she seems to be the only one talking.
"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I wonder, pushing away the thought.
"What, that I was in a gang?" Nina clarifies. She gives a short laugh. "You probably wouldn't have believed me. And I didn't want you to get involved. The less people that knew, the better." She pauses and for a moment I see the softhearted Nina I grew up with, and spoke with on the phone hours earlier.
"I felt bad after your parents died," she admits. "I wanted to maybe give it up and spend more time with you. Or come clean. But once you're in there's no getting out."
I pause once more, my response faltering. We're in sensitive territory again. I recall what Nina said about hanging with the Bangerz being disrespectful to my parents. I don't think that's fair or true. It's not like they had anything to do with their death. Plus it was kind of inconsiderate of her to bring it up when and where she did.
"Then you understand why I'm doing what I'm doing, too," I murmur, wrapping my arms around myself. "I know what I'm getting into, Nina. Or what I'm in already. But Jason and his crew are my friends. My parents would've wanted me to have that here."
She doesn't say anything. Hopefully she can accept what I'm saying - it's what I believe. In the silence I'm reminded of something Dad used to say to me when I got sad or frustrated. It's not what we have in life, Tess. It's who.
Suddenly Jason reaches out and touches my arm. I glance at him. He's looking at me earnestly, with sincere concern.
"Your parents died?" he asks me.
Actually, they were killed, but I don't have the nerve or will to explain all the details right now. So I just nod and avoid Nina's gaze.
"You brushed it off earlier," he realizes. He furrows his brow. "Why?"
"I wanted to keep it no pressure," I say meekly, shrugging. "And I didn't want to ruin our day." I give him a small smile."
He recognizes his own words from earlier, and the corner of his mouth quirks up. But his expression also softens at my shyness; it's the most vulnerable I've seen him. He looks like he's about to say something, but Nina interrupts.
"Tess, I get it," she declares as if our conversation never halted. "But you have to know that even if I didn't want to be, I'm in this for good. Like, if I even think about ratting them out Frank McCann will screw up my dad's whole military career." She glares at Jason.
"That's not my fault," he snaps, whipping his head around to face her. His soft gaze hardens again, honey to topaz. "After we found out about you y'all wanted to fuck around and spread my name through the streets. Of course my dad was gonna find out. He's a crime boss."
I blink, awestruck and disconnected from the tender moment Jason and I almost had. This must be what Za and Khalil mentioned about Jason's dad getting involved with the Wreckers' revenge. They said they squashed it real quick.
"Crime boss?" I repeat in a squeaking voice.
"Yeah," Jason mutters, glaring back at my cousin. He clenches his jaw. "He handles business with the real criminals. He gets respect, allies, and money for it." He glances at me and smirks devilishly. "Where do you think I get it from?"
Wow. Images of the mafia and Italian mobsters flash across my mind. My imagination will always run wild.
"Okay, so we told people who your dad is and made it more dangerous for you to do shipments," Nina retorts. "You didn't have to blackmail me and put my own dad on the line."
"You play with fire, you get burned," Jason rationalizes, like it's the simplest thing in the world. It is what it is must be his motto. "And you burned us first."
Right then the lock in the front door turns. Danny enters the house in his EMT uniform, fresh off the night shift. Jeez, where has the time gone? His gaze travels across us and the den and he raises his eyebrows. I wonder what we even look like, standing around all tense, hyped-up, and dressed the way we are. I'm definitely using "flash mob" as an excuse if he asks.
"Hey, Tess," Danny says. "Hey, Nina. It's good to see you." He looks at Jason and tries to hide his territorial overprotectiveness, but he is a guy, and he is my brother. I see right through it. "Who's -"
"Danny, this is my friend Jason. Jason, this is my brother Danny."
"Nice to meet you," Jason says, giving Danny's hand a good firm shake like a man. "I was just dropping Tessa off. I should go."
My brother nods with recognition. Yes, Danny, this is the Jason I was talking about.
"Nice to meet you, too," Danny replies. He turns to Nina and gestures for her to follow him to the kitchen. "So Nina, how's Uncle Jerry..."
I turn to Jason once they're gone. His honey eyes gleam and his mouth is set in that signature smile of his, but there's some new affection in his gaze as he looks at me. It makes my heart flutter.
"You okay?" he asks me.
I sigh and nod slowly. "I will be."
"I'm real sorry about your parents." His voice is cautious but genuine.
My gaze drops to the floor as the emotions rise up within me like a tidal wave. I don't cry anymore about it. But you don't have to cry to be sad. And on top of that I feel a little timid. I'm not exactly tough on the inside. And I'm thinking that the Bizzle Gang can't just look tough.
"It's okay," I reply after a few moments of gathering myself.
"Hey." Jason lifts my chin and smiles crookedly. "You were good tonight, baby girl. Where'd you learn to drive like that?"
I manage a demure smile back. If he's trying to cheer me up it's working. "I don't know, really. I just put my foot down. And you wished me luck."
He grins and looks at me appreciatively. "You killed it. Don't let Nina get to you just 'cause she's your cousin. She did what she did. But you're still one of us. And don't worry about the Wreckers, either. They're just intimidated by anything that could be a threat."
I'm both perplexed and pleased. That's how I usually react when he gives me compliments, though. "I'm a threat?"
Jason drags his gaze up and down my body, this time lingering in a way that makes my heart hammer against my ribcage. His eyes are liquid fire when they come back to mine. "After tonight?" he murmurs. "Yeah, you could be."
"Well... that's - that's a good thing," I stammer. "For us. Right?"
"Mm-hmm." His smirk gives me chest pains. And pains in another part that I won't mention. "I'll talk to you later, baby girl. We have some stuff to take care of tomorrow night. Try to get some sleep." He moves towards the door purposefully but pauses and turns back to me. "And TK?"
"Yeah?"
"I like your smart mouth." Then he cups my chin and leans down suddenly to peck me on the lips. Before I can even process how his kiss feels and tastes this time, he's pulling away, smirking, and walking out the door.
I blink after him for a minute or two. I feel like dissolving. My legs wobble. It's been such a long day. A great day that went sour for a little while, but a long one regardless. Plus Jason McCann just kissed me again. And not for our Stat project.
Honestly I need to lay down and let this all sink in. Or prance around my room like an idiot. My twin is very satisfied right now. Or is that me? I can't tell the difference anymore.
Overwhelmed, giddy, and mystified, I take off my beanie and run a hand through my hair on my way to the kitchen. Nina and Danny are laughing and enjoying midnight snacks.
"I'm going to bed," I announce, suddenly realizing how that's been a lie for almost a month now. I tell my brother that every night and he believes me.
"G'night, Tess," Danny says, waving like he's saying goodbye. He's always so chipper when he comes home from his shift. Probably because Anna works the same hours.
I glance at Nina and decide to be civil. We'll always be cousins - but we won't always be friends. That's how it is now. And I'm going to keep our beef on the table reserved for our crews. Not here.
"The bed's made up in the guest room," I tell her. "And there's towels in the linen closet across the hall. Let me know if you need anything."
She nods. "Okay. Good night."
"Night."
I jog upstairs and breathe a sigh of relief, content, and gratitude as I close my bedroom door. There's nothing like being in your own space.
The hot shower water soothes my muscles and washes away the trials and tribulations of the day. It really has been a long one. I ditched school. I hung out with Jason at his skate park, we had breakfast, he told me about his depression. He helped me fall asleep without a bad dream. I found out that my cousin is a Wrecker and why we're in this feud. I drifted in a Mustang. Jason found out about my parents. He kissed me again.
After all of this happening in one day I just really want to relax. But there's no way I'm actually going to sleep. Who knows what nightmares my brain might conjure up with all this information? I know Jason said I should get some rest, but I don't think it'll work without him here. So I'm afraid to try.
As usual I'm left with no other option then to take my amphetamines. I'll just watch TV or something. If I get really hopeless I'll start studying for midterms this week.
I open my medicine cabinet and pull out my bottle. But when I open it I remember that I've upped my dosage this past week because of that terrible nightmare I had on Sunday. I was so focused on taking more to keep myself alert and awake at all times that I didn't pay attention to how much I had left. I shake the empty bottle into my palm futilely, just to make sure what I'm seeing is real.
I'm out of Adderall.