After Magnus had told Alec to come get his stuff from the apartment, he was trying not to break down. He felt like his heart had been ripped out and he had to try and stitch it back up by hand. Alec could only think about what had happened for so long, otherwise he got sick. He managed to make his way about a block away from the Institute, which was on the way to Magnus's apartment. Alec was a block away, dragging his feet, head down, tears falling. His knees started wobbling and he suddenly felt light headed. He blinked and tried to stand, but he collapsed to the ground. He was freezing. He was on the ground looking at the sky, when he closed his eyes and passed out.
Magnus was at home when he got a text from Isabelle asking where her brother was. Magnus had left Alec over two hours ago and he should be home by now. He told that to Isabelle and she said she would tell him when he got home. After a little while, Magnus was starting to get worried. He knew he should not be worried, considering Alec was a Shadowhunter and he could take care of himself, but he felt worried, nonetheless. It had been about thirty minutes when Isabelle called him to tell him that she found Alec on the ground and she could not carry him home. She sounded extremely worried and Magnus gave in. He walked over to where Isabelle had told him they were and he saw Alec passed out on the ground looking like a broken toy. Magnus had tears in his eyes as he walked over and tried to wake Alec up. He woke him up enough to get him to Magnus's apartment. They put him on Magnus's bed. All of this was really awkward for Magnus because Isabelle did not know they were not together anymore. Alec woke up to find that he was in the familiar place of Magnus's bedroom. He thought about what had happened, then realized it must have been a terrible nightmare. It must have, he thought, but it all seemed too real for his liking. He looked over to find he was staring at beautiful slits of golden cat eyes. Magnus looked at him wearily and looked angry. Alec had tears prickling his eyes and he could see Magnus look Alec up and down. When Alec tried to sit up, all he could do was lay down, otherwise the pain was too much. He looked back at Magnus, who frowned.
"Don't try to move. You are hurt," Magnus said adding with a.
"Oh, don't remember that, do you? Yeah, after I walked away, you decided to pass out on the cold, wet, ground. Then, Izzy and I had to drag your ass over here," Magnus looked as if he was about to cry, and he looked at Alec, whose tears were already coming.
"I-" Alec started.
"You were angry and sad, I get it, but it was just as bad for me, Alexander, and guess what? I didn't hurt myself because I knew the consequences. I knew that you would have to worry even though you didn't want to!" Magnus had fat tears falling repeatedly, until he looked at his hands.
"Alexander... I- I still love you and you are being stupid! You need to understand that everyone has hard times and to get over it!" Magnus yelled looking enraged.Alec looked at the ground
"Well, maybe, Magnus, maybe I did it for a reason" Alec exclaimed trying to make eye contact with Magnus.
"I would love for you to explain your pain, Alexander," Magnus said with wet cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. He looked intently at Alec and Alec returned the look.
"Maybe the love of my life just ripped my heart out and stomped on it repeatedly until I couldn't move or speak," Alec paused with tears streaming down his cheeks, "And I- I just felt myself with the longing to die, right there, on the ground. This isn't what I wanted, you know. I didn't want to wake up. I wanted to never have to deal with this ever again."
Magnus looked angry and heartbroken at Alec, "See, that is exactly your problem! You don't want to deal with stuff. Well, guess what Alexander. Part of being an adult is dealing with your problems and not just leaving them behind," he paused and looked straight at Alec, "And.. I did have my reasons, and you know them as well as I do, Alexander. You tried to shorten my life! Without even telling me! Alexander, the whole point of being in a relationship with someone is telling them about this stuff. You can't lie to the person you love, otherwise..." he gestured to them, "This happens."
"If you don't want me here, just send me home," Alec muttered, looking down at his hands.
"No, you can't walk and I don't think Izzy can carry you the whole way," Magnus replied.
"Magnus, I am so sorry, but I was just... All I wanted was you and... Well, I guess now you can finally move on from worthless mortals like me..." Alec looked at Magnus with tears still falling. Magnus looked incredulously at Alec and whispered.
"Don't you get it? No matter how many decades or centuries go by... No matter how many people I meet... When it comes to you? I am always going to love you. Alexander, don't you understand? There is no moving on from you. You are my one, so you can see how much this hurt me to go through this," Magnus paused when the tears started again, "You know, when I first met you and started liking you, I was just having fun. Then, we started talking and hanging out more and I started getting a little scared because I had never had a relationship that worked out before. After that... I knew I loved you and I loved you more than I ever thought I could. I love you more that I thought I should and ever would love someone. Alexander, this whole Camille thing.. I thought I could trust you. I knew you didn't trust me, you never had, but... I told you.. I told you what she was like. I warned you and you didn't listen. So, please, don't get mad at me and blame all of this on me because it was as much your fault as it was mine," Magnus said, looking at Alec, who was still crying.
"Magnus, you are my one, too! I am sorry that you feel betrayed, but... I did it all out of love for you! And I wasn't thinking, and I never actually did it, I just thought about it. I was walking there to tell Camille that the deal was off. You just caught me at the wrong place at the wrong time! How is it fair that that ends a relationship?" Alec practically whispered.
"Life isn't fair," was all Magnus said in reply.
"Good advice..." muttered Alec, looking hard at Magnus.
Magnus got up out of the chair, walked over to lean over Alec, and said, "Get some rest, okay? Feel better," Magnus turned to go downstairs, but Alec stopped him.
Alec was in tears when he asked, "M-Magnus?"
"Yes?"
"Do.. Is there any hope for us?" Alec asked almost too softly for Magnus to hear.
Magnus walked back over to Alec and kissed his forehead, "Anything is possible, if you want it badly enough," with that, he walked downstairs to sit on the couch. Isabelle had left to go home to the Institute, which was again awkward for Magnus, but seemed right somehow.
Alec smiled a little at the kiss and fell quickly asleep. Magnus walked up to check on Alec several times throughout the night. Alec was sleeping soundlessly and Magnus smiled a little to know that Alec was going to be okay. Alec was not gone and he was safe. Now all that had to happen was for them to make up.
Alec woke up again in the middle of the night to see the cat eyes staring at him again. He looked up at them with sadness and looked away at the wall.
"How do you feel?" asked Magnus with concern in his voice.
"I can't really feel anything. I think whatever magic you used it wor-" Alec was interrupted by Magnus.
"I didn't really mean your physical health, dummy," he smiled gently and walked closer to the bed.
"Oh," Alec looked confused at him and said, "Well, I.. I-" he broke off, looking at Magnus.
"Didn't think I would care? Of course I care, Alexander! How could you even look at me and say that? Can you honestly not see how much I love you?" Magnus tried to catch his breath and he looked Alec up and down.
"No, I just. I don't know. I guess you didn't seem to earlier," Alec said playing with his hands. Magnus walked even closer and sat on the bed. He took Alec's hands in his own and smiled a little sadly.
"Alexander, I will always care about you. And about earlier.. The only thing I have had in my mind is concern for you. I really didn't want to fight, I guess, but I had to say those things to you," Alec gave him a questioning look so Magnus continued, "Otherwise, I would always be angry and you may not have known why."
Alec's eyes flickered with something that looked like a mixture of heartbreak and fear. "You mean.. You are going to always be angry?" he paused to look at his hands in Magnus's with tears in his eyes, "Because I would... I would understand if you would be..."
Magnus looked at Alec and asked, "Do you want to hear the truth?" Alec nodded slowly and Magnus continued, "I am still mad at you. I want to be mad at you because I feel it is the right thing to do. I don't want to stand for what happened. Also, I love you."
Alec had tears streaming his eyes now. He said, "I love you more than anyone, Magnus, you know that," he paused when Magnus seemed a little surprised by the gesture, "I guess I just had to get that out there."
Magnus made a gesture for Alec to scoot over and Alec obliged. Magnus sat so they were side by side and Magnus took Alec's hand to his lips to kiss it. Alec smiled a little and Magnus was as close as he could be to another person, physically. Alec looked at his hands and he still had tears in his eyes. Magnus put his hand on Alec's chin and brought his head up to look at Magnus. Magnus wiped away the tears and slowly leaned in to kiss Alec with a slow kind of sadness. After a little bit, they pulled away and Alec looked confused. He looked down at his hands again and said, "I thought you didn't want to be together."
Magnus looked at Alec with a glazed expression, "Alexander," he paused, "I honestly don't know what I want. All I know is I love you and I should be mad at you."
Alec looked up at him and said, "Okay, well... I guess whenever you figure it out.. just t-" Alec started saying, but Magnus leaned into him again and kissed him softly. Alec made a tiny noise at this and smiled a little. Magnus carefully put his hand on Alec's cheek and moved to deepen the kiss. Alec felt, for the first time since the breakup, relaxed. He felt relaxed because this was all he ever wanted, to be with Magnus and to be close to him like he was now. To prove to Magnus that he could move, Alec tried to move a little to make it easy for Magnus to lay next to him so they were side by side and still not breaking the kiss. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus on the small of his back. Magnus broke away from Alec's mouth and moved his mouth down to Alec's neck. Alec exhaled and smiled. Magnus mumbled against Alec's neck, "I missed doing this..."
With their legs intertwined, Magnus grabbed Alec's hand and kissed it. Then, Alec smiled and he said, "Good night, Magnus."
"Good night, Alec," then after a pause Magnus added, "I love you."
Alec smiled and replied, "Love you, too."
They both fell asleep together in Magnus's bed, holding hands, and intertwined legs.
A/N
I made this one 2110 words. Wayyyy bigger than normal. I've been planning this part far a really long time. I have been righting it in notes. Sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for reading!! And ggguurrlll bbaaiiii