Chapter 1
I look to the right, the gun barrel nudges my head. My eyes widen as I slowly put my hands up. He tells me to turn around and pats me down. "Where's the wallet?" a rough voice spits. I tell him "Front pocket." He reaches slowly keeping the gun to my temple. When he got ahold of my wallet, I quickly pinned his hand with mine and threw an elbow in between me and the gun. We wrestled for a couple seconds. I managed to pin his arm to his throat and lifted him against a wall. "Drop the gun." I say staring into his eyes.
My eyes open. It's busy and hot at work and with the machines vibrating constantly, I must have dozed off. Wiping the drool from my lip I check the time. "Well I have an hour left, let's get all the work done." I walk outside and the light blinds me, so I put on my sunglasses. With my hair in a mess and my clothes worn four days in a row, I take the garbage to the dumpster and pick up after these miserable grown children.
Closing time arrives so I pack up and drive home. I'm greeted by her with dinner. I take it graciously not eating for my third ten hour shift. "You really have to eat baby." She tells me in a caring tone. I stare at the food and say "I know hun. It's hard to remember sometimes." She puts two hands on my face and makes me look at her. "I'm proud of how hard you work for us, but you have to take care of yourself too." I touch her hand, look in her eyes, smile and say "I know baby, I'll try harder."
Chapter 2
"Last year, I lost eighty pounds in six months, unexplainably. I was, larger, athletically built and tall. The days would pass and meld into one another and I'd just be in the trance of life. I would fast because I wasn't hungry and ended up looking like skin and bones. After a while I got into the doctors, who told me I was hypoglycemic. This is easily fixed by eating more often... However this costs money."
Five days have passed with one meal at night. The mornings are so blurry I'm on autopilot to work. The afternoons either pass quickly or so slow that I forget to eat. My stomach churns and aches like it's hungry but I am nauseous and haven't had an appetite. "Lately, I've been surviving on cigs and energy drinks." I say to my manager as we're switching shifts. We laugh and I take off, lighting a cig for the road.
My eyes open. Still on the road home, my eyes widen as I gather myself. "Must have dozed off" I say to myself. Then my stomach begins to churn. The ache becomes almost to much. I open the window to get some fresh air, it's not working. I start sweating profusely and the skin under my eyes becomes itchy.
I look in the mirror and a slight rash has broken out, making my cheeks red and bumpy. I pull over as I start feeling my stomach move up to my chest. There was a car coming now, so I had to crawl across the passenger seat to escape. I only made it into the seat and swung the door open before the urge was too much.
Chapter 3
My eyes open. Gravel digging in my cheeks and flies circling the pile of puke I landed on. I groan trying to gather the strength to move. "It's dark. How long have I been here?" I ask myself still laying on the side of the road. After a few minutes of encouraging self talk, I gathered the strength to get up. Brushing my self off, I lean against the car and find my cigarettes and phone. "Eighteen missed messages?!" I yell in dismay. I get in the car and continue home.
I fly in the parking lot and into my spot with screeching tires. I gather my hoodie and rush into the apartment building. I unlock the door with my keys jingling frantically and hurry in. It was dark. "Honey" I say to silence. I look around and putting my things away. No answer. "She isn't here?!" I say confused. I pull out my phone to check the messages, to find out out all the messages and calls are gone.
"Shit, where is she?" I ask myself in a worry. I look through my phone and couldn't find her parents number. "What the hell?" I mutter as I dial my dad's number. "Hey dad, I just got home. Do you know where she is?" I ask, faking calm. He says "Where who is?" I tell him her name and hear silence. "Son, who are you talking about?" my dad asks me after the long silence.
Chapter 4
I stare blankly at the white wall. Watching how the spatter pattern would wiggle in place. "Son?... You there?" my dad asks after a while. "Yeah, yes I'm here." I say. "Is everything ok" he asks me concerned. I tell him "Yeah, I've just been having wierd dreams again."
I hang up the phone and sit on the couch. Was every memory I still have of her fake? Was she ever here with me? I look around my apartment. Things that I wouldn't buy downloaded through the filter of my brain, as memory of achievement. Who was she? She isn't real... I can't make her real.
I turn on my record player and sink into my couch with a cigarette. As the sound pierces the airwaves, my eyelids become heavy. I can feel the vibrations from the instruments, I knew every word, but the song somehow sounded unfamiliar. As I sunk more and more releasing the stress of the day, I feel as if my body lifted off the couch.
I counted the sheep circling my head, never seeming to end. I feel awake but in autopilot. I float in the dark and wait for the light. My body now curled in the fetal position. "Come on, come on!" I snarl, egging on the next stage of the dream. It never arrived. Instead I wait in dark eternity. My eyes open.
Chapter 5
On the drive to work I massage my neck. The couch wasnt a kind sleeping mate. I had a slight migraine but hotboxing this spliff should work. I puff slowly and forcefully getting the mixture of smoke in my system. It hit my lungs with a sting, forcing me to hold back a cough. As I release, I exhale the thoughts of last night along with the migraine. My head's buzzes in warm relief.
Droning along to work, I pass a few deer that had been hit earlier that morning. "That's too bad." I say sympathizing with all the "Bambi's." I continue and notice no living animals. All the animals I saw were dead on the side of the road. I look up to see cloud cover and gray skies. "When did it get so shitty out?" I say in non caring disbelief.
As soon as I got to work, it starts pouring rain. "Looks like another slow day." I say kind of disappointed. Looking for something to stay busy I end up resting my head on the office table. I place myself directly in front of a fan blowing on my head to keep my body temp cool. I comfortably drift away.
Next thing I know, I feel a deep pain. Still dreaming I couldn't locate it. It was distracting my slumber though, so I had to give it attention. I regain consiousness and tense up. My stomach is upside down and twisting. The noises of discomfort audible if anyone we're around. I curl up in my seat, putting my head down on the desk. "We'll have to wait this one out like all the rest." I close my eyes.
Chapter 6
My eyes open, I look to the right. There she is, my love. I smile and reach to touch her cheek. My hand grazes her soft skin and she feels cold, she doesn't react. Confused, I try to shake her awake. I yell out her name, and smack her face. I bang on her chest trying to restart anything. "DON'T LEAVE ME! NOT AGAIN!"
My eyes open. The machines at work kicked on. I look at the security cameras and the day has cleared up. "Busy now, eh?" I say to myself brushing the tired of my face. I sit up and feel a deep concerning feeling, but couldn't put my finger on why. I get up and use the bathroom, come back to my seat and check my phone. "Ugh, well I slept for three hours" I laugh to myself. I gather a smoke, and do my rounds.
As my shift rolls to an end, my stomach is completely empty. The heat suppresses my appetite and I drive home in a daze. I hotbox again, but start overheating. I open the windows and enjoy the wind in my face. The cold sweat moving to the back of my head as I put my face out of the window. Closing my eyes, i take a deep breath and smell the fresh air and pines.
My eyes open, I'm on the couch with the TV about to automatically shut off. I get up to move to bed and stop in the bathroom. I piss and flush, then go to the sink. I stop and look. "Feminine products?" I ask myself picking up a perfume bottle. Not thinking much of it, I make my way down the dark hallway to my bedroom.
Chapter 7
I take my clothes off and crawl into bed. I'm immediately met by a warm body. I jump out of the bed and rush to the light, turn and look at the bed. "Who are you?" I ask. She says she's my wife. "What?" I ask as I rub my temples trying to figure out what was going on. Suddenly jolted with memories of our entire relationship.
I grimace and groan as the migraine grows. "Are you ok?" she asks rushing over. I look at her through tears, as she seemingly appeared and disappeared as she walked towards me. I hold my hands out for her. She grabs them but I can't feel her. I want that touch of her skin, that warmth, that love but it never reaches me. I close my eyes.
"I know this place" I say aloud. I can feel the carpet on my cheek and know I'm on the ground. The sensations of nails in my fingertips and toes start setting me on fire. I have to move. My eyes open. "I have to clean under this damn bed" I grumble and I struggle to my feet.
"What day is it?" I ask myself as I walk in the kitchen. "So, I should probably eat" I try to convince myself. Looking in the refrigerator and the cabinets, I find nothing ample to eat. I grunt in disappointment and sit on the couch. I turn on the TV and light a bowl. "Time to get my appetite up." I say with a smile.
Chapter 8
Not quite knowing what day it was, I sit on the couch. Not caring much about anything else than feeling like shit, I smoke until I'm smiling like a child. In an upbeat mood I play some video games. I feel spot on. My reaction time is unbelievable right now and my heart races.
Focusing on the game I hear a loud band in the kitchen. I look and shes digging in the fridge. I look back at the game not thinking anything of it, then it clicks. I swing back around and look at the fridge, she's nowhere in sight. "What the fuck?" I ask. "Who was that?"
I get up and look around. "Hello?" I say loudly, to no answer. I rush to the bedroom heart pounding trying to figure out what's going on. My stomach becomes tight but I pass it off as a "gut feeling." "Hello?!" I say again entering the room. I look at the bed first, scanning the rest of the room. At the end of the bed I see an arm.
I take one step back and my eyes widen. "Hello?" I say again, more tenderly. I hesitate, but walk slowly closer. The closer I got to the arm, the more my stomach wrenched. It became crippling and I fell to my knees. I keep crawling, feeling an urge that I "have" to. I edge around the bed, and see who it is.
Chapter 9
I wake up at the end of a long hallway. My body rests against the wall keeping me upright. It's still a little fuzzy but i make out, a noise muffled but loud. Foot steps then a bang... some muffled screams then silence. I start to see a figure moving closer to me.
The closer he got the clearer he got. I could see his face now. His eyes swelled with a pain i couldn't humanly recognize. He keeps marching on and closer he got. Closer and closer... he gets right up in my face almost nose to nose. I feel his breath on my face. It was cold.
He looks into my eyes and says "The Code Red Says Hello". He puts the gun up to his chin. I suddenly feel an urge to stop him, a feeling of connection, like i knew him. he pulls the trigger and was gone. I taste the copper and the itch from the blood running down my face.
I pick up the gun and look at it. engraved on the barrel was "Code Red." I put it to my chin ready to end it all, right then and there. Ready to pull the trigger, i take my last breath. Gulp my last, blink my last... say goodbye to my last.
Before i can pull the trigger, an explosion is set off. A huge wave of energy hits me and i loose my breath. From down the hall i see flames coming for me. Almost like hands ready to drag me to hell. The Code Red Says Hello... and takes me to my beloved abyss.
... My eyes close...