Chapter Fifty-Three: Fights, Making Up and First Times
Colt was drained. Physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Silas had stormed away and was no longer speaking to him thanks to what had happened in Lily's room after everyone had left.
As the two men had stood there, contemplating what to do with the dead body, the rabid had come by the droves. Drawn by the scent of fresh blood filling the air, they had begun crowding the back wall and fighting to find a way up to the fourth story window.
Burying Lily was not an option. Neither was leaving her body in this room. The scent would only continue to draw more and more rabid and the monsters would get more desperate in their hunger, eventually tearing down the brothel walls.
Making the hard decisions had always been Colt's least favorite part about being a leader but he supposed someone had to make them.
So he had.
He had cut the blood carpet around Lily's body (cursing the woman for choosing such a bloody way to end her life when surely poison would have been easier and cleaner), and then he had wrapped her body in it before tossing her out the window with Silas staring on in shock.
The other man hadn't spoken, simply shaken his head, turn quickly and walked away.
Colt looked around the now mostly blood free room and shrugged. What else had he been supposed to do with her? There'd been too much blood.
So now with a heavy conscience and a weary mind, Colt made his way to Evangeline. He had heard Ox taking her to the bedroom not too long before. Colt longed to hold her and feel her holding him.
He knew that Lily's suicide had been hard on Evangeline and she would need him to lean on. Colt was more than happy to be her leaning post after all she'd done for him.
He opened the door and stepped into their bedroom, which was dark with only one small candle lit for light. No doubt Ox had lit it before leaving the room since Evangeline was curled into a ball on the bed with her back to the door and the covers pulled over her.
Colt kicked off his boots, pulled off his gun belt and hat and then slid into the bed behind her. He wrapped her up tight in his arms and kissed her temple as he laid his head against hers.
"I'm here, Evangeline." He whispered as he felt her shaking.
"I've never seen anything like that... " Evangeline's voice was quiet and broken and Colt squeezed her tighter.
"I wish you hadn't seen it."
"Me too."
They lay there in silence a few moments before Evangeline spoke again. "I almost got bit saving her life that day on the street. Frankie did die trying to protect her—why would Lily do something so selfish? Why would she make Frankie's death be for nothing?"
Colt sighed, wishing he had all the answers she needed. "I don't know. I reckon we never will."
"I can hear those rabid. Are there a lot of them?"
"Just a few."
"Can they get in?"
"Nope."
"Thank you for lying."
Colt's lips curved in the ghost of a smile against her ear. "That's what us hardened criminals are good for."
He felt her relax a little against him and he took her hand in his, twining their fingers together. "Colt, we have to give her a funeral and a proper burial. I know she committed suicide but she still deserves at least that much respect."
Colt stiffened. "No."
"What do you mean 'no'?" Evangeline asked, turning her head to look over her shoulder at him. "We have to."
"We can't."
Evangeline looked confused. "Why not?"
Colt swallowed hard and brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her fingertips gently. "Because I've already dealt with her body."
Evangeline pulled herself out of his arms and turned to face him with a frown. "What do you mean when you say 'you dealt with her body'?"
Colt sighed and sat up, putting his back to her as he rubbed his face roughly. "Sweetheart, she'd cut herself wide open. There was blood everywhere. That blood was drawing the rabid. I had to do something..."
Trepidation filled her voice when she asked, "Colt, what did you do?"
"What I had to do. I wrapped her in the carpet she'd bled on and tossed it out the window."
Colt was aware of the mattress shifting as Evangeline jumped from the bed. "You what?!" she exclaimed. "You fed the poor woman's body to the rabid?"
"She was dead, Evangeline, and if I'd have left her bloody body lying there then the rabid would have gotten in and we'd all be dead too."
"And that makes it okay?"
Colt stood as well and turned to face her. His stomach turning at the look of disgust on her pretty face. "Nothing about any of this is okay, Evangeline, but we do what we have to do in order to survive."
"Colt, that's revolting. How could you so something like that?"
"It had to be done, Evangeline." Colt insisted as a dull ache began in his temple.
"Colt, she was a person!"
"She was a weak link and it's better that she's gone now instead of taking some of us with her later."
Evangeline's jaw dropped and Colt regretted the words. He wasn't the type to take back what he said though and so he simply squared his shoulders and faced her disgusted wrath.
"So is this the man I really married then?"
"Yep." Colt held his arms out to the sides. "This is me, sweetheart. I do what has to be done to keep myself and those I care about safe."
"You're a monster...." Evangeline swallowed hard and laid her hand over her stomach. "What you did—what you just said—both those things are monstrous."
Colt felt his temper flair. "Stop being a spoiled little girl!" he ground out, as his fists clenched at his sides. "Shit happens, Evangeline. Life ain't so pretty when you're not being spoon fed on some goddamned plantation."
Evangeline's face paled and tears filled her eyes and Colt was nearly swayed by those tears until she opened her mouth again. "Go to hell, Colt. My aunt was right about you."
Colt couldn't have been hurt more if she had doubled up her fist and slammed it into his gut. He took a big gulp of air and rammed his hand through his hair. "You married me."
"Maybe I shouldn't have." Evangeline whispered as tears slid down her cheeks and she wrapped her arms tight around herself. "I didn't realize the things you were capable of."
"Well the marriage ain't legal, sweetheart. All you gotta do is say the word and I'll leave you be."
Silence reigned for several long drawn out moments in the small room that smelled too strongly of perfume from those that had used it before. Finally Evangeline looked down at her feet and nodded as tears slid off her nose.
"Go."
Colt heard her wrong... he had to of. She wouldn't do this to him. Would she? His Evangeline. His rock. His safe place. The one person he had ever been able to be weak around... she wouldn't just throw him away because he'd had to make a hard choice.
"What?" he raspy voice asked.
"Go away, Colt," she repeated, keeping her gaze on the floor.
The clock ticked on the wall, the wind blew outside the windows and the rabid moaned and growled hungrily in the darkening night. Colt stood in that dimly lit room and felt his heart falling straight down to his feet.
Without a word, he slid on his boots, plopped his hat on his head, grabbed his gun belt and strode from the room, slamming the door with so much force behind him that the walls shook.
Colt went to the roof and quickly excused Jedidiah from watch duty, ignoring the old man's questions about what was wrong.
He was happy to find himself alone, not wanting anyone else to see the pain he was working so hard to fight back.
He stared up at the sky and cursed life. Damn Evangeline for making him out to be a monster when he hadn't done anything other than what had to be done to keep her, and everyone else, safe. She was angry, Silas was angry—everyone would be once they heard what he'd done. But what other solution had there been? Everyone was so quick to judge his decisions but yet no one ever offered decisions of their own.
He wished Comanche were still here. Comanche would have understood Colt's decision and supported him.
Now Colt had lost the respect of his group as well as the love of his wife. His heart broke at that thought and Colt shoved the pain away.
Nothing mattered except keeping Evangeline safe and Colt's actions today had done that. Already the rabid were beginning to wander away once again, now that their feast was gone.
Colt turned his attention back down to the road in the dark. He hadn't planned on leaving a guard out here all night but with the rabid just out a feeding frenzy and the tension in his bedroom, Colt didn't have anywhere else he could go.
He settled back against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest and tried hard to ignore the pounding in his head.
***
"Colt, we're tired." Katherine whimpered just after midday the next day. "I can't lift my arms anymore. I'm done for today."
"But we're—"
"Colt, what good is this training if everyone is so tired they can't actually lift their arms to fight?" Jedidiah questioned.
Katherine glanced at Evangeline who had yet to speak today. She seemed angry or sad or maybe a mixture of both. She'd nearly taken Colt's head off several times as she had violently attacked the rabid he'd brought in to train on. Honestly Katherine was impressed by the woman's talent for violence after spending so long thinking she was nothing but a pretty face—Ox however didn't seem quite so amused.
"Fine. I'll scouting for supplies. Ox, Silas and Jedidiah you can go out scouting as well. Tomorrow the women can help and the next day we'll leave. We need to get to those railroad tracks and make our way west."
"Colt, can we speak privately?" Charlotte asked quietly as she walked up to him.
"Nope." Colt replied with a quick shake of his head before heading out the door. Katherine gave Ox a quick kiss goodbye and then secured the boards over the door once all the men had gone.
"Okay, what in the hell is going on?!" Katherine exclaimed. "Evangeline, what's wrong with you and Colt?"
Evangeline shrugged as she gathered up the weapons they'd used that day. "We're not together any longer."
"What?!" Rachel demanded from the corner. "What are you talking about? Why would he leave you?"
"I told him to." Evangeline replied, staring down at her armful of clubs.
"Why on earth would you do that?" Katherine questioned with disbelief.
"I am only guessing here—" Charlotte began when Evangeline didn't reply. "—does it have something to do with the way he chose to dispose of Lily's body?"
"How did he?" Katherine asked.
"He threw her out the window and let the rabid eat her." Evangeline spoke up, her face going green.
"Of course he did. What else was he going to do with her?" Katherine shrugged. "She was covered in blood and drawing the rabid. She was dead, we were alive and Colt did what he thought was best to keep it that way."
"Evangeline, as soon as that man gets back you need to beg his forgiveness and pray that he'll take you back." Everyone stared at Rachel with shock.
"Are you serious? You're the one that didn't want me married to him!"
"I was wrong." Rachel replied sadly. "I was wrong and judgmental and stupid. That man loves you. He has done all he can to keep you and this group safe. For you to treat him so coldly and let him go over this—it's not right, Evangeline."
Evangeline stared hard at her aunt and then the clubs tumbled to the ground as she released her hold on them and buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders heaved in sobs and Charlotte was the one to wrap her in a tight hug.
"I know it's not right." Evangeline gasped as she leaned against charlotte. "I was just so confused and scared and hurt and guilty and feeling a million things at once after the last couple of days and then to hear him say so coldly what he'd done and why he'd done it—It was like he wasn't sorry at all."
Katherine sighed. "Evangeline, of course he feels bad for what he had to do. You know him better than any of us so you know it's the truth. You were just too upset last night to realize it. I'm sure he needed you to comfort him—"
"And instead I pushed him away." Evangeline stood straight and wiped her face on the sleeves of her shirt. "I don't know how to do this...."
"It'll be okay, Evangeline." Charlotte assured her. "Just make it up to him tonight." She winked and that was all it took to get Evangeline laughing lightly and snapping out of her tears. "It's been a rough couple of days," Charlotte continued. "But we're going to be okay. We're going to make it through this."
Katherine looked down at her own legs and the new pants hugging them tightly. "And we'll look really good in these trousers as we do so."
***
"What's going on with you and my sister?" Ox asked Colt as the two men made their way through an abandoned house, stuffing any food, weapons or other useful items into sacks as they went.
Colt shook his head as he opened a drawer and rifled through some papers inside. "Nothing for you to concern yourself with."
"It is my concern if you hurt her. You told me you wouldn't do that, Colt. I trusted you with her." Ox had his fists clenched and was fighting off an urge to hit the other man. He'd seen the tears in his sister's eyes all through the day as she looked at Colt. There was only one sure way to put Ox in a fighting mood and that was to hurt those he cared about.
"Well then you need to talk with her, Ox, cuz I didn't do a damn thing. She told me to leave her and so that's what I did."
"But why would she do that?" ox asked with confusion. He shoved a bottle of whiskey into the sack and watched Colt.
"Because I threw Lily's dead body out the window and fed her to the rabid so they'd quit trying to get into the brothel."
Ox shivered at the gristly image. "I don't understand why that would make her want you gone." He finally admitted.
"Me either." Colt replied with a shrug and Ox could hear the sadness in the other man's voice even though it was obvious that Colt was trying to act indifferent.
"You want me to talk to her?" Ox asked.
"Hell no, I want you to stay out of it."
Ox blinked. "But..."
"Ox—stay out of it." Colt warned and Ox sighed.
"Alright. Evie loves you, Colt." Ox paused as he pulled his knife and sent it into the temple of a rabid that had come lurching into the kitchen from the stairway. "I love my sister but sometimes she's still that spoiled girl our parents tried to turn her into."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore, Ox." Colt ground out, slamming the drawer closed with a bang.
"Okay... Who's on guard duty tonight?" Ox questioned.
"I'll take it."
"Again?"
"Yep."
'Okay. I just wanted to make sure that you didn't need me or Katherine." Ox blushed. "Jedidiah already agreed to watch Susette for me so that me and Katherine can—you know—have alone time."
"Ox, I don't need to know that." Colt replied, amusement tugging one corner of his lips.
Ox grinned. "Yeah, but it made you smile."
***
Evangeline wrapped her robe tighter around her white nightdress and slipped into the hallway. She'd heard Colt agree to take guard duty for the night and knew she'd find him on the roof.
She had no idea how to make up for how she had acted. She supposed a good start would be hitting her knees and begging the man's forgiveness. There was no good excuse for what she'd done or how she had acted. And when she thought of what she had said to him...... She wouldn't blame Colt if he laughed in her face when she said she was sorry.
Evangeline paused with her hand on the door to the roof. Her fingers trembled against the metal handle. Tears pricked her eyes as she thought about what she would say.
'I'm sorry, Colt.' Not good enough. 'I didn't mean a word I said. I love you more than anything in this world and I support you.' A little better. 'You are the single best man I know. Smart, strong and fair. I understand why you had to do what you did and I was wrong to question that. Please forgive me.' Yeah she'd go with that.
She opened the door and stepped out onto the roof, closing it silently behind her. She could feel his presence and instantly her eyes found him, just as they always did. It didn't matter where they were or how many others were around, Evangeline could find Colt.
She knew that he sensed her presence as well. She could see the tensing in his posture as he crouched at the edge of the roof and scanned the night.
"What do you want, Evangeline?" His voice was guarded and cold and Evangeline didn't blame him for closing himself off after what she had done.
Colt was strong in a lot of ways. He was the most able and capable man that she knew but yet there was a part of him that was very vulnerable. And she had taken that part and stomped on it.
"I wanted to come speak with my husband."
Colt was silent for a long while before spitting over the roof and swiping his arm across his scruffy face. "Last I heard I wasn't that man anymore."
"Of course you are, Colt. I love you."
"I won't apologize for what I did, Evangeline." Colt warned, still looking out at the night and keeping his back to her.
"I don't expect you to. I was the one that was in the wrong last night, Colt. I was just tired and raw.... I had so much guilt, anger, hurt, fear and shock all tangled up inside of me and I took it out on you. I don't blame you if you hate me now after what I said and how I treated you."
Colt didn't say anything and Evangeline felt the beginnings of panic filling her. She quickly closed the remaining distance between them and laid her hand on his shoulder.
"Colt...." Before she could utter a single word further, Colt rose to his feet, turned and seared her lips with his in one fluid motion.
Evangeline all abilities to think as Colt devoured her hungrily. Her fingers were trembling as she undid his gun belt and trousers. Colt growled against her mouth, his hands traveling down her back to her backside and squeezing it tightly, pulling her hips closer against him and grinding his freed arousal against her stomach.
"I need you, Colt." Evangeline gasped. He stared in her eyes and Evangeline trembled at the hunger she saw staring back at her. But more than that she saw the love. How foolish she'd been to nearly throw this away!
Colt gripped her waist, lifted her in the air and then brought her back down, sliding himself deep inside of her as she wrapped her legs tight around his lean hips and clung to him.
Evangeline sought his lips as he led them to the wall and pushed her back against his, placing one hand between her head and the wooden surface.
Higher and higher Evangeline climbed as Colt's thrusts picked up speed. She clung to him desperately. His hungry mouth and demanding kisses were stealing her breath just as surely as his lovemaking.
Evangeline pulled her mouth away from him and buried her face in his neck as she felt herself falling over that peak. Her moans were muffled against his skin as he whispered her name hoarsely and began to shudder against her.
Evangeline could hardly believe what they had just done out here on this roof with rabid moaning on the streets below them. The breeze was blowing against her bare legs as she remained all wrapped around her man.
"Don't do that to me again." Colt whispered as he laid his head on her shoulder. "Don't you ever take this away from me again. I need you, sweetheart."
Evangeline felt her throat clog with emotion. Unsure what to say she simply stroked his dark blond hair and held him tight as he held her tightly in the moonlight. Though she would never admit to him that she knew he was crying; she felt Colt tremble and his hot tear scalded her skin as his face remained pressed against her neck and shoulder.
***
Ox was pacing the room in his trousers and bare feet as he tried to figure out how a man went about romancing a woman when Katherine walked in fresh from her bath. Her hair was wet and hanging in ringlets down her back. Her white nightdress was clinging to her damp body, highlighting her feminine curves and driving any intelligent thoughts straight from Ox's mind.
"Where's Susette?" Katherine asked as she walked to the fire and added several pieces of wood to the glowing flames.
Ox opened his mouth to speak but no words came out as the firelight shone through the thin white fabric of her nightgown. Every inch of her body was outlined for him and Ox had never seen anything so temptingly perfect.
Katherine turned to look at him with a smile on her face. "Ox, where is Susette?"
"With Jedidiah." Ox replied quickly and a little too loudly. "I was.. well.. see.. aw shit, Miss Kate, I was hoping we could have some time alone together. It's just that she's been in the bed with us each night and well I was hoping..... Or, I mean I thought..well that is—" Ox gave up on speaking, cursed himself for being an idiot and turned his back on her as his shoulders slumped.
What kind of woman in her right mind would want an idiot of a man who couldn't even string one full sentence together?
Ox froze and every muscle in his body tensed when he felt Katherine's hands on his bare shoulders. "Ox, are you saying you want to bed me?" she asked gently.
Ox shook his head roughly. "No." Her hands fell away and he cursed again. Turning quickly he looked into her gold flecked green eyes that were studying him carefully. "Shit, Miss Kate, I don't want to bed you. I've bedded lots of women." Her eyes went down to the floor. "Miss Kate—" Ox whispered as he put his finger under her chin her lift her head. "I don't want to bed you like I did those women.. I want to make love to you. I figure that's gonna be something one hundred times more special."
"Oh Ox...." Katherine flung her arms around his neck and rose on her toes. Ox lost the careful control he'd kept hold of so far and attacked her mouth hungrily with his own.
The room seemed to spin and the air grew thinner as Katherine molded her lips against his. Ox slid his tongue between her lips and she nipped at it with her teeth; eliciting a moan from deep in his throat.
Ox moved her backward to the edge of the bed and broke their kiss. He stooped to grip the bottom hem of her nightdress and pulled it up over her head before dropping it all but forgotten to the floor as his eyes took in the sight of her naked body.
Ox had been with a lot of women in his life. He had thought he'd seen everything women had to offer but nothing, nothing, could have prepared him for the breathtaking beauty that was Katherine.
"Shit, Miss Kate, you are....damn pretty." He finished lamely, unable to put his thoughts into words.
"Thank you, Ox." Katherine whispered. She laid her palms against his chest and Ox trembled beneath her touch.
He wanted to throw her down right then and there and feel himself inside of her but he knew he couldn't rush this. Katherine had been with a lot of men but none of those men had cared about her or her pleasure. Ox did.
Ox laid her down gently in the bed and pressed feather soft kisses to her lips, her eyelids and her cheek. Ever so slowly, he moved his lips south, taking the time to lick and taste every inch of her skin. He flicked his tongue against a mole on her right breast and she gasped as her hand dug into the back of his shoulders.
"Hasn't anyone ever taken the time to taste you, Miss Kate?" Ox questioned as he glanced up at her face and caught her watching him with disbelief. Slowly she shook her head and Ox grinned. "Allow me to be the first then."
Feeling more confident than he had moments ago, Ox continued his exploration of her feminine body. Giving a woman pleasure was something that Ox knew how to do and he knew how to do it well.
As he twirled his tongue around her tight pink nipple, Ox brought a hand to the soft curls at the juncture of her thighs. Ever so gently, taking time to enjoy each sensation, Ox slid his finger inside of her wetness as she gasped and raised her hips.
Her fingers were soon buried in his thick dark hair as his tongue continued to lash at her breasts and his fingers continued to draw gasps from her mouth.
He could feel her getting close to her release and he quickly moved his mouth away from her breasts, dropped to his knees on the floor and replaced his hand with his mouth between her legs.
Katherine cried out his name as his tongue lapped against her swollen clit and Ox moaned with pleasure of his own as she bucked her hips against him and her thighs tightened around his head.
Knowing she'd found her release, Ox rose up and simply stared at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth parted and her chest rising and falling quickly as she gazed at him through heavy lidded eyes.
Ox stood straight and slid from his trousers, knowing he had to have this woman now. He'd waited long enough and denied his body what it wanted. He couldn't deny it any longer.
Katherine's eyes widened as they fell upon his arousal and she gasped. "Ox.... I've never been with a man that big."
Ox felt his chest fill with pride even as a blush covered his cheeks. "Shit, Miss Kate! You sure do know how to make a man feel good."
"Well join me in this bed here, Ox, and I'll show you all the other ways I can make a man feel good."
Ox was happy to obey.