Chapter Fifty-One: Changes
Silas knew the loss of Frankie and Comanche was a devastating blow to the group both emotionally and physically. They were fighters and Silas knew Colt was worried about their loss. But more than that Frankie's death was a mental blow.
She had been seen as the most physically capable among the women and now she was gone. The first loss the group had suffered to the rabid. They had all been tricked into thinking that somehow they were safe from the rabid; that they could deal with any rabid that came along with no problem—they knew better now.
He glanced at Charlotte who was still crying silently beside him on the cart seat. Lily, Rachel and Susette were riding in the back of the cart. Evangeline was driving the second card with Jedidiah seated beside her. Katherine was the lone rider on horseback.
No one had spoken a single word since leaving Colt and Ox. It was as if there was a tenuous thread holding everything together and everyone feared that the slightest noise could tear it and send them all spiraling.
"There's a town ahead."
Silas nearly jumped at the sound of Katherine's voice and he snapped out of his reverie to realize that she was right. There was indeed a town.
"We should stop." Rachel spoke up quietly. "We need supplies and rest."
"Colt said not to stop for anything." Evangeline countered. "We should keep going until he and Ox get back. If he agrees about the town we can always turn and come back."
"I doubt that Colt meant for us to pass up a town if we came to one." Katherine argued. "We can't afford to pass up a chance to scavenge for supplies."
"He said to stop for nothing." Evangeline reminded her.
"We have to stop." Katherine replied stubbornly. "We all need a feeling of security tonight."
"We'll stop." Silas spoke up. When Evangeline looked his way he smiled comfortingly. "We will tell Colt it was my idea to stop and you had no choice but to come along or continue alone."
Silas watched the fight go out of Evangeline and she nodded slowly. Katherine pulled her revolver as they rode closer to the town.
Silence filled the air and caused a shiver to wash down Silas's spine. The outskirts of the large town appeared quiet and still. They rounded the stage depot and looked down the main street of town. Other than a few rabid staggering about and the rotted and decayed bodies of horses, dogs and people on the dirt road, the going seemed clear.
"We'll take everything into the livery." Silas said, pointing at the large red painted building about thirty yards down the road. "We'll secure ourselves in there until Colt and Ox catch up and we can check for supplies."
No one argued with him and the few rabid that ran their way as they headed for the liverly were silently dispatched with knives and the butts of rifles. No one in this group was in any mood for rabid just now.
Silas jumped from the cart once they were inside the livery and he slammed the large double doors closed, securing the wooden board in place to keep the rabid out. He saw Evangeline and Katherine checking all the stalls and securing those windows closed as well.
Rachel opened the door to the tack room. "There's hay and oats for the horses." She said, stepping inside with hesitation. Her ear piercing scream filled the air when a bloody hand grabbed her arm and a rabid stumbled from behind the tack room door.
Before anyone else could react, Charlotte was there. She slammed the blade of her boot knife through the rabid's temple just before its teeth were able to sink into Rachel's arm. Charlotte pulled her knife from the rabid's head and wiped the bloody blade on her skirt.
"You should know good and well by now that you cannot simply open doors and step in a room!" Charlotte scolded. "Now help me get this body out of here so we don't' have to smell it the whole time we're here."
Everyone seemed surprised by Charlotte's sudden show of nerve and quick thinking but Silas wasn't. He had always known that Charlotte was a strong woman and had seen the evidence of it more than a few times. He was glad that now the others (who had whispered about the groups weak link) were seeing what he had already known to be fact.
What surprised Silas was Rachel's tear filled eyes and bowed head. What shocked him yet further was her words, "I apologize for being careless. Thank you for saving me."
Charlotte blinked several times and then grabbed the rabid behind the shoulders. "We all do things without thinking at times so there is nothing for you to be sorry for. And I would do the same for anyone in this group; we are family. Now grab his legs and Silas can get the door for us."
***
"Hey Colt," Ox said, pointing ahead. "There's a town."
Colt pulled his hat off as he nodded and shoved his hand through his hair. Burying Frankie had been hard but Colt was glad they had done it. It was better than leaving her to be rabid food and it had helped him say goodbye to the woman who had saved his life so long ago. She had pulled him out of the hell fires, given him food, water and advice and if not for her then Colt would have died that night along with his wife and daughter.
"Colt, it looks like they stopped at the town."
"I told them not to stop for anything." Colt grumbled.
"Shit, Colt, I reckon it was good to stop here though wasn't it? We was all just saying this morning that we needed food and I'm sure—"
"Yes, Ox. Yes it's good they stopped here." Colt spoke up quickly to silence the big man's rambling. They rode a bit closer and Colt caught sight of a figure on a roof, instinct nearly had him pulling his gun until he realized the figure was Evangeline.
She waved and Colt raised his hand in response. He saw Ox wave his hand enthusiastically beside him and despite the pain in his chest and the worry about the losses they'd suffered, Colt couldn't stop the small smile from tugging at his lips. Ox had a way of causing those around him to feel better.
"Well let's head on to the livery then." Colt said. There weren't many rabid wandering the streets and most were far enough away that Colt and Ox made it to the livery without incident.
"Didn't I say not to stop for anything?" Colt demanded as he locked the door behind him.
"We need supplies." Evangeline replied as she slipped down from the loft. "We decided not to pass it up."
"It was my decision." Silas added quickly.
Colt shook his head and pulled off his hat. "I'm too tired to be angry." He admitted as he shoved his hand through his hair. "Is everyone okay?"
"Physically." Katherine whispered while holding Susette close to her side.
"I think what everybody needs is a decent rest." Jedidiah spoke up with a comforting smile. "Colt, why don't us men go have a look around town and see if there might be a hotel or a house safe enough for us to hole up in tonight. We still got a few good hours 'til dark."
Colt nodded. "Alright then."
He knew that tomorrow things had to change. Tomorrow he had to make sure that everyone in the group could fight and shoot to the best of their abilities. He already knew that everyone in the group (with the exception of Susette and Lily) had nerves of steel and would stand up to the rabid. Nerves were a big part of being a fighter but they needed the talent and the know how to back up the nerve.
"Are you sure that four of you can handle it?" Evangeline whispered, as she pulled Colt aside and the rest of the men found suitable quiet weapons.
Colt sighed. "I won't lie to you, Evangeline. Without Frankie and Comanche here things are going to be a lot harder but we'll be careful checking around. I don't plan on trying to clear the town, it's too big. I just want to find a comfortable place for everybody to lay their heads. I'm sure we'll have some breakdowns soon—" his gaze went to Lily who was standing in the corner with her arms wrapped around her as she rocked back and forth. "—and I'd just as soon be able to close my bedroom door and not have to watch it."
"Colt! The leader is supposed to help his group." Evangeline scolded.
Colt kissed her nose. "As the man it's my job to provide safety and food. You are the wife of the leader so the whole emotional side of things falls on your dainty shoulders."
Colt saw the ghost of a smile tug at Evangeline's lips and he kissed her brow tenderly. "Besides, a well-bred southern belle such as yourself can't be sleeping in a hay and horse shit strewn stall. It just wouldn't be proper."
"Colt I don't want you to get hurt." Evangeline countered, all pretenses of amusement fading form her voice.
"I'll be okay."
Colt turned away from her. He knew why she was so worried. Frankie's death had shaken her. Hell it had shaken him too. This was his first real failure.... She had been first of his group to die from a rabid attack.
Colt hoped like hell that it wasn't a hint at what was to come. He didn't want to fail this group and he didn't want to watch them be picked off one by one either.
"Alright, men, let's go." Colt urged. "Quiet in and quiet out. We only kill the rabid we have to kill. Main goal is to find a more decent place to sleep."
***
Katherine stepped into the shipping warehouse the men had chosen and frowned. There was plenty of room for the horses and carts but she couldn't see how their sleeping arrangements would be any better here than at the livery.
"Miss Kate, don't look so doubtful. Colt has this all figured out. This is where we'll keep the extra supplies and the horses. There's an old brother right next door and Colt found a big wide board and I helped him carry it up to the roof and put it between the two buildings just like a bridge. Now we can go back and forth between the two places without stepping out on the street with the rabid."
Katherine was surprised. That did sound like a good plan. "And is the brothel cleared out?" she asked.
"Yeah." Ox rubbed the back of his neck. "Colt went to every single room, closet and cellar himself. He looked under beds, under tables, behind doors, everywhere."
Katherine could tell Ox was rambling. She stood on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his chest. "Are you okay?" she whispered.
Ox's big hand went to the small of her back and he pulled her closer. "Shit, Miss Kate, I don't never want to have to do what Comanche did today...."
Kate shivered at the thought of having to kill someone she loved. She knew that Colt had been forced to do so. Evangeline and Ox had been forced to kill their parents as well and Silas his brother—Katherine never wanted to have to make that decision.
Night was falling outside as the group finished seeing to the horses and then made their way across the makeshift bridge and down into the old brothel. Katherine had the sensation of coming home. The scents were familiar. The perfumes, the candles, the incense; they all struck a chord with her.
"I'm not comfortable being in a building that was used in the manner this building was used in." Rachel stated as they made their way downstairs. Katheirne noticed that the men had already secured all the lower windows and doors with wooden boards.
"We got lucky, Miss Kate. The warehouse was full of lumber." Ox informed her.
"I know no one here likes me but that does not mean you should ignore me." Rachel grumbled with irritation.
Katherine rolled her eyes. It would seem Rachel's vow of silence had ended. If only it could have lasted as long as the one Colt had taken.
At Rachel's irritated grumble, Colt stepped forward. Katherine was concerned for Rachel. Colt looked made enough to strangle the life from her with that hand he held out.
"What I say is what goes. You don't like that then you're more than welcome to get the hell out and fend for your goddamn self. Hell, the rabid would probably leave you alone. Not very man critters like dried up and bitter food."
Shock was the general expression on nearly every face as Colt glared hard at Rachel. Rachel appeared the most shocked of all. She blinked several times and tugged on her skirts.
"Gotta love a good family drama." Jedidiah cut in with that annoyingly good natured way of his.
Colt shook his head and took a step away. "I recommend everybody gets some rest. You're going to have a busy day tomorrow."
It was nearly an hour later when Katherine fell into bed. Ox was already curled up beneath the covers and Susette was sleeping restlessly between them.
Katherine frowned as she stroked the six year olds soft hair. This was no world for children. Of course many would say that the life Katherine had been raised in was no place for a child either so maybe Susette would be okay.
"You should stop thinking so hard and rest, Miss Kate." Ox urged gently.
"You need rest too." Katherine replied.
"I can't close my eyes without seeing her, Miss Kate. I see her or I see my pa. I'd just as soon stay awake." Ox winced. "Shit, Miss Kate, you probably think I'm a big ol' crybaby sitting here carrying on about not being able to sleep...."
Katherine reached across Susette's sleeping form and laid her hand gently on Ox's cheek. "No, I don't. You are a good man with a good heart. Only a cold hearted and evil person could go through what we've all gone through the last months and still close their eyes at night without being bothered by what they see." Katherine smiled. "I can't close my eyes either—I see my mother being ripped apart when I do and all I can do is watch from my bedroom window and scream."
"I'm sorry."
"And I'm sorry for you." Katherine lowered her arm back to her side. "How about we just lay here, Ox? I don't see those things when I'm looking in your eyes."
A blush colored Ox's cheeks and he nodded. "Sounds good to me, Miss Kate."
Katherine had no idea of how long she lay there looking into Ox's deep green eyes but eventually sleep did claim her—thankfully it was dream free.
***
Lily stared at her reflection in the dirty mirror. The shadows around her blue eyes were more pronounced somehow in the flickering glow of the candle on the vanity.
Who was she? She wished she could remember. She wished she had memories. This sickness had been raging through the land for nearly four months. Lily should not have frozen when she'd seen those monsters but she had. Because as far as she could clearly remember those had been the first she had seen. And there had been dozens. They'd been snarling, half rotted and hungry as they'd come for her.
She closed her eyes and swallowed down the self-loathing and disgust. Frankie's death was her fault. The woman's blood was on her hands. Lily had not meant to get her way. All she had wanted was to talk to her. To try to convince Frankie to speak to Comanche since the Indian had been too stubborn to take the first step. They had been traveling for a week and had not seen a single monster. How was Lily to have known that herd of them would come at that exact moment?
With all her heart Lily wished that Frankie would have left her. She wished the woman would have saved herself and simply let Lily die. Frankie had had a life that she could remember. She'd had happy memories to draw on and a man who loved her (even if she and said man had been stubbornly avoiding one another). Lily had nothing. She had no good memories and no bad memories. No one who cared. She'd been plucked off the street and rescued by this group and all she had done was cause the death of one of their own.
Surely they would hate her just as strongly as she hated herself.
Lily's gaze went to the dagger lying on the vanity in front of her. Its gem encrusted handle was glinting in the candlelight and looked quite beautiful. Lily closed her hand around it and lifted it in the air, studying the blade.
She deserved to die—should have died.
Lily laid the cool metal blade against her slender wrist and swallowed hard. The blade shook in her hands as tears gathered in her eyes. The pain in her chest was nearly unbearable as she thought of the dead expression that had been in Comanche's eyes when he'd come back from putting Frankie down.
Lily let out a moan that was an animalistic mixture of rage, sorrow, guilt and desperation before pulling the knife away and throwing it across the room. There was a dull thud as the blade fell to the carpeted floor.
Frankie had died to save her. If Lily took her own life then Frankie's sacrifice would be for nothing. As badly as she wanted to die she was cursed to live. Lily buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
***
Evangeline woke the next morning to find that she was alone in the bedroom she'd shared with Colt. She wondered why had hadn't gotten her up so they could start the day together but in truth she was glad. She had needed the sleep.
Colt had kept her up most of the night before though it wasn't his fault. Upon falling into bed, they hadn't spoken. Colt had simply wrapped his arms tight around her, buried his face in her hair and they had both fallen asleep.
It hadn't been long after when Colt's nightmares had begun. Evangeline knew he had them most nights because he would often mumble and thrash while he slept but last night they had been different; more intense.
He had called out names all night. He had cried out for Sarah and for Loralie and then for Frankie. At one point he had even cried out for Evangeline and she had tried to rouse him and let him know he was only dreaming but had not been able to.
Evangeline knew Colt and she knew he would blame himself for Frankie's death, just as he blamed himself for Sarah and Loralie. Colt was the type of man who took responsibility for everything onto his shoulders whether it was his load to bear or not. It was that very trait of his that made Evangeline worry the most.
She rose from the bed, still dressed in her clothes from the day before. No one had been in the frame of mind to worry about going through the supplies to find nightclothes.
She ran her hands over her hair, knowing it was probably a rats nest of tangles, slid on her ankle boots and stepped out into the narrow hall. At least the brothel had plenty of rooms. There had clearly been a lot of women that had called this place home.
She was one her way toward the staircase when Colt came striding out of a bedroom. Evangeline frowned as she approached him and glanced inside the room to see Lily standing beside the window and peering sadly out at the sunrise.
"Why were you with Lily?" Evangeline asked.
"I was talking to her about what happened yesterday."
"You actually talked about how she felt?" Evangeline asked, feeling a bit jealous at the thought of Colt opening up to someone else.
Colt snorted. "No. As a matter of fact I told her that if she sobbed on me I was going to jump out the window. I just wanted to know exactly what had happened with Frankie."
"You can be a real mean man when you want to be, Colt! She probably needs someone to listen to how she feels."
Colt laid a hand on her cheek. "That would be where you come in. But first we all have to get down to the sitting room and have a talk. I'm gonna be making some changes."
***
Colt looked around at everyone gathered together. It was clear that no one had gotten much rest last night judging by their tired expressions.
"Things are going to change." Colt stated. "The only way we're all going to make it is if each of us knows how to fight just as well as everybody else. We all have to be confident in what we're doing and brave enough not to freeze."
He saw Lily wince but he had no time to worry about her feelings just now. "First things first, you women aren't going to be wearing those damn skirts anymore. All they do is trip you up and give the rabid something to grab on to. From here on out you're wearing pants."
"I won't." Rachel countered and Colt had had enough. Gone was the patient man he'd tried to be over the last few years. He was Colt the outlaw once again because only that Colt was going to get everyone through this alive. He didn't have time for folks who went against him every time he made a decision to be riding with him.
He grabbed Rachel by the arm and dragged her toward the door while she kicked and fought against him. Surprisingly no one tried to stop him as he yanked the three wooden beams from their slats across the door and threw it open.
Sunlight poured in, blinding them momentarily. Colt let out a sharp whistle, getting the attention of several rabid across the road. The beasts began stumbling their way.
"Listen here, Rachel, I've had as much of you as I'm gonna stand. You either do as I say and quit your goddamn arguing or I'll toss you into that road on your ass right here and now and we'll see how you make out."
"Colt, you proved your point." Evangeline assured him as Rachel stared at him with wide-eyed shock and fear.
Colt yanked her back into the brothel and slammed the door closed. He secured the boards in the slats and glanced at Evangeline. She seemed angry but he would have to deal with that later. He wouldn't have really killed Rachel (at least he didn't think he would have), he had only been teaching her a very important lesson about minding the boss.
"I think wearing pants is a good idea." Evangeline admitted as she retook her place at his side. Colt was surprised that even as angry as she had seemed at him, she was still supporting him. She truly was a remarkable woman.
"Shit, Evie, I never thought I'd hear you say something like that." Ox said .
"I'm not the spoiled girl I used to be, Ox."
"That's right. She's an outlaw's wife now." Colt added with a small smile. Then he pulled off his hat and ran his hand through his dark blond hair. "Alright next is that everyone is to have at least two guns on them at all times." His gaze went to Susette. "Everyone."
"But she's just a little girl!" Charlotte exclaimed. "What if she hurts herself?"
"I'll teach he how to handle one myself. We can't be rushing around trying to save everybody else all the time. Everyone here has to know how to defend themselves when push comes to shove and that includes children."
"I want to learn." Susette spoke up, her voice sounding so much smaller and quieter in this big room surrounded by adults. Colt was not happy about turning an innocent girl so young into a rabid killing machine but there was simply no way around it. She had to know how to defend herself.
"This brothel and that warehouse are going to be home for the next few days while we gather up supplies and train."
"Train?" Katherine asked.
"Yep. With guns, knives, hands, feet, shovels, axes, big sticks—anything that can stop a rabid. I want everyone to be comfortable."
"Yes but how will we train?" Silas asked. "I never knew much about killing until I had to."
"That's right. The best time to learn is when you have to. I reckon this town has plenty of rabid to practice on."
"You want us to fight with rabid in order to learn to fight with rabid?" Charlotte questioned with a frown.
"Yes." Colt replied as he slipped his hat back on his head. "That's exactly what I want."