Chapter Seventeen: There Ain't Really Much of a Comparison
April 1887
Colt shook his head as he watched the man leave the barn of the house that he and Katherine were taking shelter in. He knew damn well what that man had been in there doing and when he saw Katherine step out of the barn moments later, adjusting her blue skirt it only confirmed his suspicions.
Once a whore, always a whore apparently.
Two weeks they'd been riding together. Colt had yet to speak to her and she seemed to have given up speaking to him. They would travel by day and hole up at night. Always moving. Always running. Always just looking for more food, ammunition and living souls.
They had found this house two days ago and had decided to stay here longer than just one night.... Well Katherine had decided. Colt had been thrown by his spooked horse when they'd been under attack by a pair of rabid. He'd damn near been bitten before Katherine had shot the rabid in the head. All should have been just fine after that except that Colt's ankle had gotten messed up pretty bad when he'd fallen.
When they had come up on this empty house, Katherine had insisted that they stay here and let him rest his ankle for a few days. Colt had grudgingly agreed, both because his ankle had hurt like hell but also because he could tell how tired the woman was.
Then this man, J.B., had shown up the day before and while Colt didn't much care for him, Katherine obviously liked him quite a bit.
"Hey there, Colt." J.B. called when he saw Colt standing on the porch of the house. Colt tipped his head in greeting and then looked at Katherine as she walked past him toward the door, stubbornly avoiding meeting his gaze. Colt could see the straw stuck in her hair and it made him mad.
He wasn't sure why... He had no interest in Katherine himself but he didn't want this man having her either. He didn't trust this man and like it or not he was fond of Katherine and felt responsible for her.
"Why don't you talk, Colt? Are ya a fucking retard or somethin'?" J.B. asked.
Colt hadn't uttered a word since his wife and daughter had died, taken from him by those monsters. It had been a long time since then. A month.. though it seemed more like a lifetime. Strange how a month with his family would have flown by in the blink of an eye but a month of life in this new world of survival without them had crawled... each day a fight and each night sleeping with one eye open and just praying to see the sunrise.
He still missed his Sarah and his Loralie more than he had ever missed anything in his life but he knew he had to move on without them. Life had to go on.... Sarah would not have wanted him to curl up and say quit and Loralie would be watching him from up in heaven, (an innocent beautiful angel like her was sure to be there), and he wanted her to be proud of her daddy.
His vow of silence could end.
"No, I ain't no fucking retard and you'd do well to mind your tongue, stranger. There ain't no call for bad language like that."
J.B.'s eyes widened in surprise and then he chuckled and ran his hand over the mustache on his upper lip.
"Is that right? By God the bastard speaks and turns out he's a know it all little prick."
Colt pulled off his hat and wiped his arm across his sweat slicked forehead. He's spent the morning chopping wood and the weather was getting warmer even here in this mountains.
"I don't know it all, J.B.," Colt countered as he put his hat back on his head and glanced up at the sun, squinting in the glare. His thumbs slid through the loops on his stained and worn out denims as he shrugged. "But I know a good for nothing, cocky, little boy when I see one."
Anger flashed in J.B.'s pale blue eyes and he spit in the dirt before taking a step closer to Colt. Colt wasn't worried or scared as he stood at the top of the porch steps and leaned against the banister. Hell he'd been cutting his teeth on men like J.B. since before he could even grow whiskers on his chin.
"Is that right?" J.B. asked, his voice low and angry.
"Right or wrong, it's just the way I see it."
"Well I'll be darned..... Colt? Was that you talking?" Katherine's voice was shocked as she stepped back out on the porch.
"Yes ma'am." Colt replied as he turned to the side, not willing to turn his back completely on J.B. and yet not afraid enough of him to worry about keeping his eyes on him completely.
"I was starting to think you really didn't know how." Katherine admitted as she put her hands on her hips. Colt shrugged.
"I know how."
"Yeah he does.... He runs off at that mouth pretty good." J.B. grumbled. Katherine looked back and forth between them and then shrugged.
"Well you two done comparing the size of your peckers?" she asked, shocking both men. "Because if you are then we need to talk about where we're going from here. That cellar is empty, there's no food in the kitchen and so we can't stay here."
J.B. stuttered several times and then grunted as he pushed his way past Colt and took Katherine by the elbow. "I can assure you we weren't comparing pecker sizes, Katherine." J.B. stated and Colt nodded.
"Sure weren't." he agreed. "There ain't really much of a comparison."
J.B. grumbled under his breath while Katherine laughed. "So not only do you speak but you're a smart ass?" she asked with amusement.
Colt shook his head. "Naw, I just don't like him."
"Yeah well I don't like you neither!" J.B. exclaimed as he came toward Colt with his nostrils flared and his fists clenched. Colt crossed his arms calmly over his chest and raised his brow.
"Easy boy."
Katherine shook her head and came between them, pushing J.B. back. Colt caught the flash of anger in the younger man's blue eyes and thought for a moment he was going to go at Katherine but instead J.B. slung his arms out and snorted.
"Are you both done?" Katherine demanded impatiently. "Because all of this yelling isn't going to do anything other than draw those rabid here. Is that what you all want? To have a big group of snarling rabid eating those peckers you're both so proud of?"
When neither Colt or J.B. spoke Katherine nodded. "Alright, now it's midday so we might as well spend one more night here but then we'll be moving on."
"Together?" Colt asked and Katherine nodded.
"Yes together. I trust your ankle is better and J.B has agreed to ride with us and provide an extra set of eyes, an extra gun and share what supplies he has."
Colt shook his head. He didn't have to ask why J.B. had agreed to all of that. That was what Katherine did. She rutted with every damn man they came across in order to get something from him. Food. Ammunition. Weapons.... Whatever the man had to spare.
"We have enough eyes and guns." Colt countered. He didn't like J.B. He didn't trust him. Probably because Colt had been J.B. Loud, cocky and arrogant. With no respect for anyone and no real concern for what was right or wrong. Nearly dying, growing up, marrying Sarah and being given Loralie had all changed him but he remembered the man he'd been before..... He knew the kinds of things that J.B. would be capable of.
"I disagree." Katherine countered. "I don't think there can ever be enough guns or eyes, not anymore."
Colt knew that J.B. would end up being nothing but trouble but he also recognized that stubborn light in Katherine's eyes. It was the same light that had been in them when she had pulled that gun on him and informed him that she was coming along. It was either accept J.B. riding with them or leave Katherine behind and Colt knew he couldn't leave her...... Over the last two weeks they'd seen a lot of hell together and he wouldn't leave her alone with a man like J.B. for protection.
J.B. was the kind of man who would throw her at a group of rabid just to buy himself a little time. Colt wasn't sure how he knew that since he didn't really know J.B. but he knew it just the same.
"Whatever you think is best." Colt ground out and then he walked off the porch and around the house to bring in some firewood.
He didn't like J.B. and he didn't trust the man either but Colt wasn't going to turn his back on Katherine now just because she was determined to keep the man around. Eventually J.B. was going to turn on her and Katherine would need Colt when that happened. Seeing as how she had saved his life a couple of times in the last couple weeks and the way she had begun to depend on him, Colt knew he couldn't turn his back on her.
***
"Oh God yeah!" J.B. grunted as he shoved Katherine's face down into the mattress and rode her hard from behind. Katherine moaned and felt herself rising higher. Normally she only laid with a man once but J.B. was an exception. This man had talent when it came to bedding a woman and since he had agreed to help look out for the group and travel with them, Katherine knew that he'd expect more than just one rut in exchange for that.
Katherine was nearing her own release but quickly realized it wasn't going to happen when J.B. let out a loud groan and pulled himself out of her, spilling himself on the mattress. Katherine sighed..... All men were the same and only really concerned with their own release.
"Damn, woman, am I glad I rode up on y'all. You are something else." J.B. stated as he pulled up his trousers and went about buttoning them.
Katherine stood straight and smoothed out her clothing. "You aren't too bad yourself." She replied with a wink.
Katherine had meant to sound flirtatious but J.B. clearly took her words differently. Anger flashed in his light blue eyes and he clenched his fists.
"I'm not too bad? Just who have you had that was any better? That damn jackass downstairs?!"
Katherine was surprised by his sudden show of jealous temper. But then she sighed. Men were sensitive that way. They each wanted to believe that they were the best thing a woman had ever had.
"J.B. I was just attempting to sound coy. You are one hell of a man." She winked and this seemed to calm him down. "Now why don't you get on outside and do a check around."
J.B. nodded and left the room. Part of the agreement when he'd come into her room wanting attention tonight had been that he would have to take first watch outside.
Katherine walked to the wash basin and cleaned herself up before leaving the room and finding Colt in the sitting room, staring into the fire as he cleaned his revolver with some oil and rags.
"Did J.B. go out?" Katherine asked as she settled down in a chair beside him. It was strange to speak to Colt and actually expect him to answer. For so long he'd been the quiet man who was simply always there. He confused her greatly. He helped to ensure she ate, had saved her life numerous times, looked out for her and had yet to turn his back on her and yet he hadn't asked for a single thing in return. Katherine had thought for sure he would have attempted to bed her by now but he had not.
"Yep." Colt replied without looking at her. "He seemed to be in a good mood."
Katherine frowned when she was sure she heard disapproval in his voice. But then again how would she know... she hadn't heard him speak at all before today.
"It was strange to hear you speaking today. I was beginning to think you couldn't." Colt simply grunted but said nothing. "If you could speak all this time then why didn't you?"
"I had taken a vow of silence."
"Really?" Katherine laughed lightly. "I've never heard of someone actually doing that... other than monks... You aren't a monk are you?" Katherine didn't think he was but hell it would certainly explain his lack of sexual interest in her given how hard she had tried to get him to bed her. And she had tried hard several times... always finding herself turned down and feeling burned and undesirable in the end.
Colt snorted and shook his head. "No. No I ain't a monk. It was a way to mourn."
"Mourn what?"
"Nothin' I'm gonna talk about just now."
Katherine harrumphed and crossed her arms over her chest as she looked back at the firelight. "So you took this great vow of silence and you decided to break it just so you could piss of J.B.?"
"Naw. I broke it because I figured it was time." Colt replied as he slid his loaded cylinder back into place with a click. "Pissing of J.B. was just a bonus."
Katherine shook her head. "Why? Why was that a bonus? Why don't you like him?"
"I don't trust him." Colt replied, rubbing the rag in his hand over the barrel of his big revolver.
"You don't know him." Katherine countered. "He seems a good enough man and he's agreed to help us."
"I don't have to know him to know what kind of man he is, ma'am. I used to be him so I know he can't be trusted."
"I think you're wrong." Katherine countered. "I think he's a good man." So she was pushing the truth a little but she wasn't going to tell Colt that. He was acting like a judgmental ass just now. Though she assumed she was finally seeing the real him now that he was speaking.
"He's only helping us because you're bedding him. Explain to me how that makes him a good man?"
"It's none of your business what I do behind closed doors with men, Colt." Colt nodded as he slid his gun into his holster.
"We agree on that much, Katherine. But a good man, like you're saying that J.B. is, wouldn't have to have a peek under your skirts in order to help you. A good man wouldn't need to have you ride his cock in order to look out for a woman who needs his help."
Katherine was angry and she was angry because he had made her feel ashamed. Ashamed for what?! This was what she was! This was how she'd been raised! She didn't know any other way to be!
"And I suppose you're saying that you're a good man?!" she snapped and Colt shook his head.
"Not at all. I've done some damn bad things in my life....." his eyes became haunted and his voice trailed off leaving Katherine to wonder just what he was seeing in his mind. "But I sure as hell wouldn't have taken advantage of a woman who needed help."
Katherine stood up and clenched her fists at her sides. "And who says these men are taking advantage of me?!" she demanded. "No one takes advantage of me! I take advantage of them first. You men are so eager to have your peckers played with that you will agree to anything, give anything, to have that happen. I take advantage of that and get whatever I need out of it."
Colt shook his head. "You're a victim, Katherine. Whether you want to admit it or not."
Katherine narrowed her eyes and then walked toward him, swaying her hips and tugging down her blouse, revealing her full breasts to him. She saw his dark blue eyes stray to them before he quickly averted his gaze and looked back at her face.
"Come on, Colt... You know you want me. All you have to do is stand up and come get me, Colt.. I'm right here."
Katherine let her hands trail over her exposed breasts and she bit her lower lip as she swayed her hips back and forth, never had a man refused and she wouldn't allow Colt to keep it up. She could tell he was interested as his nostrils flared and his fingers gripped the arms of the chair tightly. She didn't like being made to feel guilty for what she was and dammit she was going to make sure Colt realized that while she might be a whore, she was a damn good one.
Colt stood then and Katherine felt her breath catch. He was so handsome. So strong. So capable. She could only imagine just how good he'd be in bed... Just how well his body would feel moving against her own.
He walked toward her, closing the distance, his dark blue eyes never leaving hers. Katherine's body warmed deliciously as he stood over her, his breath washing over her face as he stared at her so intently.
Then she was suddenly cold as he grabbed the top of her blouse and pulled it up, covering her. He shook his head and stepped away, his eyes sad. "I won't do that, Katherine. I might be a bad man who's done some bad things but I won't do that."
He sat back down in the chair and Katherine was left standing there feeling a million types of a fool. She didn't know what to say and she felt tears burning behind her eyes.
"Get on up to bed now, ma'am. It's back to our new reality tomorrow."
Katherine turned and ran as fast as she could away from him, sobbing as she slammed her door shut and then flung herself on her bed, tugging the covers around her tightly. She trembled as hot tears spilled down her face.
Damn Colt and his self-righteousness! Who was he to turn her down and make her feel as if she was wrong? She wished she still had her mama..... Her mama would know something to say to make her feel better and her mama would have put that damn Colt in his place real fast.
Katherine pulled her knees into her chest and tried desperately to fight off the waves of sadness, guilt and shame that kept threatening to overtake her.