⎾14 | BROKEN HEARTS⏌
THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD seemed to go out that day, and everyone in town was now in mourning. I hadn't heard from Gilbert since the incident, but I prayed to god that he was alright. He had lost the last family member he had, and he was now an orphan. Oh, how awful that is. I wish I could be with him right now, without anyone else. Just the two of us like it always has been.
But I had just realized that being alone together will mean something different. Before, it was coincidence. But now, I feel drawn to him in some way that I can't quite understand.
Today was the day of his father's funeral. The day I have to watch Gilbert as he mourns over his father. I'm not ready to watch such a heartbreaking moment. I'm not ready to see him hurt. But I have to be.
"Are you ready?" Diana said, tying the black bow around the waist of my black dress.
"Ready as I'll ever be," I muttered, looking at myself through the mirror. "I feel so horrible."
"Samantha, none of this is even remotely your fault," Diana said, turning me around and looking at me with empathy. "It was his father's time."
"But if he was with his father instead of taking care of me maybe—" I started, but Diana cut me off.
"No! The same thing would've happened whether Gilbert was with you or not. In life, things happen that we do not want to. But God has a plan for us all, Samantha. Nobody can change that." She said, searching my eyes for any form of understanding.
"I guess," I mumbled, looking down at the floor.
"Right now, we need to be strong. For Gilbert." Diana said, clutching my hand tightly. "Can you do that? Please?"
I nodded, turning around to face the mirror. As I glanced at myself, I noticed some differences in my appearance. My skin was the always the same—pale white as snow. But right now, my skin seemed to be paler somehow. It was the fact that I was terrified. Terrified to watch Gilbert hurting. He didn't deserve this—not at all.
"Gilbert Blythe deserved so much better than what he got," I muttered, then turned around, softly pushing past Diana and heading out of the room.
The walk to the cemetery was silent. Gilbert was walking alone in the front, while multiple families dressed in black followed him with their heads hung low. I walked next to Diana and Anne, who seemed as heartbroken as I was.
I couldn't help but glance up at Gilbert, who did not let his head hang low, but held it up high as if he were trying to be strong. But at the ceremony, he never looked up once from his father's casket.
"Let not your heart be troubled. Ye believe in God, but also in me. In my father's house, were many mansions. If it were not so, I would've told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself...for where I am, there ye may be also." The man said, finishing the eulogy.
"Amen," several muttered, then began to chatter in a low voice and begin to walk after paying their respects with a nod.
I looked over to Gilbert, looking into his eyes. Once, his eyes were bright and kind, filling anyone he looked at with joy. But now, his eyes were full of sadness and worry, something I never wanted to see him have.
Gilbert stood still, continuing to glance down at his father. I hesitated, wanting to go up to him and comfort him in any way possible. But I held the feeling back, and stopped my feet from walking any closer. The look on his face shattered my heart, and I could feel my eyes brimming with tears.
"Let's go, Samantha," Anne said, taking my hand in hers. "It's time."
—
At the reception, I felt like a lone wolf in a sea of people. Sure, everyone was heartbroken that Gilbert was now an orphan, but nobody knew how it felt. Except for Anne, of course. Many people say they can tell who is an orphan by the way the act, but, that's not true at all.
It's the eyes that tell you. It's the eyes that show you how broken the child really is. The sadness, anger, and heartbreak is shown in their eyes. But nobody cares enough to look. People have a tendency to assume things before thinking, causing more and more heartbreak to occur.
After a half hour, I decided I couldn't be in that room any longer. I decided to take a walk outside and let the air set me free, like it always has.
Grabbing my coat and my scarf, I pulled open the door and let the cool breeze hit me. I took a deep breath in, then a deep breath out, consuming the cold winter air.
As I opened my eyes, I noticed a tall figure walking towards the house, dressed in black. I almost thought he was going to walk into the house, but then he hesitated, turned around, and walked back towards the forest. Everything in me wanted to follow him, but then I remembered when I had lost my father. I wanted to be alone, and I knew he did too. So, I decided to give him time.
Even though every second I spent away from him hurt me more and more.
—
awwww this chapter hurt me so much