Chapter Eighteen – Ross
I awoke to the sound of someone trying to single-handedly destroy my intercom buzzer. I groaned, sleepily stumbling to the intercom, and loudly asked, "WHAT?" into it.
"Let me up, I need to talk to you," Harper's voice flooded back through the intercom.
"This better be important," I growled and buzzed him in, sending the elevator for him. While I waited, I poured myself a smoothie, and sat at the table waiting for him. I heard the lift doors ping open and some angry-sounding footsteps approach me.
"In here," I called.
Harper stormed around the corner in an angry fashion and came to a halt next to my table, eyeing me sat there innocently with my smoothie.
"You selfish bastard," he greeted me.
I raised my smoothie to him. "Nice to see you, too."
"You know, I've seen you do some ridiculous things in the past," Harper told me, pacing back and forth. "And sure, I've let a lot of them slide because it was funny, or you were drunk-"
"Or you were doing them with me," I raised my eyebrows.
"Exactly," Harper replied. "But this is getting ridiculous now, Ross. You're nearing thirty and you have the emotional maturity of a twelve-year-old."
"Rude," I commented.
"No, you're right, that's rude to twelve-year-olds," Harper shot me 'the look', that meant there was no way I was going to joke my way out of this one.
"As glad as I am that I buzzed you in," I said wearily, putting my glass down. "I'm kind of at a loss here, Harper. What on earth could I have possibly done? I've been awake for three minutes."
"Jasper is handling this with more finesse than you," Harper snapped, and I realised with a groan what this was about. Jasper. I'd completely forgotten about him and his parents. Fuck.
"He's been dealing with them for three days - the arguments, the jabs, he's stayed at mine for two nights just to get away from them. All he could use is maybe one teeny, tiny encouragement from you, and you're too selfish to even do that."
"Harper," I tried to interrupt.
"He's a nice person, you know?" Harper told me. "He's fun to spend time with, he's sweet, he's talented, he's basically perfect for you - and he's happy with a casual arrangement with you. Why are you screwing this up?"
"Harper," I tried again. "I've been really preoccupied-"
"God Ross," he said, walking up and down the length of my kitchen. "This is ridiculous, even for you. I mean, I know you don't like to let people see you vulnerable – we've all known that for years. You make it pretty damn clear you're not willing to improve yourself there."
"I was going to call him," I tried again. "But something happened-"
"Like hell you did," he snapped, and then fixed me with a glare. "Look, I like that you live your life the way you want to, but when you screw someone, and then tell them you want them in your life more, you have a responsibility to check in with them when their world starts exploding around them. Stop being such a dick."
I sighed. "Harper, can I please just tell you what happened?"
He folded his arms across his chest haughtily. "Fine."
"Raven called me about ten minutes before Jasper did," I said. "My father had a heart attack."
"I... what?" Harper asked, deflating immediately. "Are you okay? Is Raven okay?"
"I'm fine, she's a wreck," I said. "I've been running around trying to help her without having to see him, and it's been an absolute nightmare. I haven't had a spare goddamn minute to talk to Jasper, let alone talk about something so huge."
"You don't want to see your father?" Harper asked. I knew he didn't mean it in a judgemental way, that he was just checking to see if I was avoiding him for the right reasons, but it still rubbed me the wrong way.
"Not unless I want him to have another heart attack," I muttered.
Harper sighed. "You could have at least told Jasper you were having a personal problem."
"I know," I groaned, and said, "I was avoiding the conversation. I don't like talking about my dad, or my feelings, and this required talking about both of them. That's why I've been dodging everyone's calls - I haven't even been looking at my phone half of the time."
Pulling up a chair, Harper looked torn between feeling sorry for me and giving me a lecture. He settled for the latter. "Ross," he said firmly. "I know you have a mountain of issues to sort through and process. But I also know you're not exactly trying hard." When I gaped at him, he continued, "No, don't look at me like that. You know you put up the 'this is who I am, deal with it' façade rather than actually try to improve yourself."
"Jesus," I put my head in my hands. "Don't pull punches or anything, Harper."
"Hey, I'm not sugar coating anything here," Harper snorted. "Everyone around you is constantly pretending like it's alright that you're nearing thirty and haven't even tried to sort through your experience of your relationship with your parents and the effect that had on you. I'm not buying into your bullshit, Ross, I know it's hurt you."
I cringed away from the emotional conversation. "Yeah, it did. They hurt me a lot, but I can't change the past - I just want to make sure I'm not hurt in the future. But I don't owe my father anything, including going to see him in hospital."
"I know," Harper replied. "And you don't have to, at all. But he's been trying to reach out since your mother died, right?"
"Right," I said reluctantly.
"Maybe it'd be okay to just talk to him about how he hurt you," Harper shrugged. "It might help you process it a little bit. If you don't think that'd be safe, then that's okay too. You should absolutely get a therapist, that would be good for you. You earn enough."
"I guess," I said dejectedly.
"But the main point," Harper eyed me sternly, "is not to shut everyone out around you. Especially the day after you tell someone you want to see them more regularly."
I sighed, and we sat in silence for a bit, until I finally acknowledged what he was saying. "Jasper still at yours?"
"Yeah, I left him sleeping," Harper nodded. "I'm going to get back soon and drive him to school, though."
"I'll take him," I replied, getting up from the chair and walking towards my bedroom. "And before you start getting anxious, no I'm not mad at you, and yes, I needed to hear it."
I heard Harper give an audible sigh of relief.
*****
Jasper and I rode in silence for a little while. I could tell he was mildly irritated with me, but didn't want to say anything in case it caused an argument. Hesitantly, I braced myself for the inevitable conversation, and said, "Sorry I've been MIA for the last few days."
Jasper stiffened slightly, but just said, "Everything been okay?"
"Not especially," I replied, and awkwardly continued, "Raven called just a little while before you did, and told me my father was in the hospital after a heart attack."
Jasper turned to look at me in alarm. "Is he okay?!"
"He's stable," I replied. "But Raven's been a bit of a mess, and I haven't really stopped in the last few days." I cringed slightly. "But I have had the time to send a text here and there, and I didn't. It was shitty of me. I should have let you know what was happening."
I saw a pink blush creep up Jasper's neck. Goddamn, he was adorable. "It's okay," he replied eventually. "I get it. I'd prefer you keep me posted on big things, but it's your business at the end of the day."
I cleared my throat, and said, "I'll keep you posted. And as for your parents, I think they'll come round - even if they don't like the thought of me being involved with you, they know you're a few months away from moving out, and probably don't want to spend that time arguing."
"Mm," Jasper said, and as we turned into the car park, he grinned cheekily and pointed to an empty space. "See, that's where people normally park their cars."
"Cheeky brat," I muttered, turning into the space and raising my eyebrows at him. I could see Cyri and Rory deep in conversation, waiting for his arrival by the benches next to the car park. "Go on, go be clever."
I suddenly caught sight of Cyri spotting the car, and walking over with Rory. I sighed, and got out of the car with Jasper. "Red," I greeted her.
"Mmhm," Cyri replied stonily, clearly having been informed about my reaction to Jasper's parents finding out.
"Drop it, Cyri, we've worked it out," Jasper nudged her, and then eyed the cluster of students watching the four of us. "I think you're attracting some attention, Ross. It must be your advanced age."
"Or the super expensive car," Rory sighed wistfully at my car.
"I think enough people recognise you from the other day," Jasper grinned. In the distance, we heard a bell ring, and they sighed. "Guess it's time to face the day."
Cyri and Rory started walking off, and Jasper smiled. "See you at some point."
I narrowed my eyes at him, grabbed him by the belt, and pulled him towards me. Our lips met, and he sighed happily, which sent all sorts of thoughts to my dick. I hastily pulled away, thinking that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to bend him over my car in the middle of his school's car park. "I'll pick you up at the end of the day and take you to your parents' place," I said.
Jasper frowned. "But I don't want to face-"
"No arguments," I warned him, looking at him sternly.
He clearly considered arguing anyway, but relented and merely pouted. I resisted the urge to smile; he was truly adorable when he was annoyed. I turned him around to face the school, and said, "Go on."
*****
Louise beamed at me when I came into the office, which was suspicious because I was a half hour late after dropping Jasper off. "What?" I halted in my step, in case a practical joke was about to be played on me. "What did I do?"
She indicated the email I had sent her last night. "I'm just relieved you picked a photographer. Good job, Ross."
I grumbled, "I reluctantly selected the least annoying."
Louise's smile did not decrease in intensity. "Well, it means we can finally move onto the next stages - and everyone will be meeting within the next few days to start building the rapport before the shoot. We've got the new model lined up, he seems really enthusiastic about the job."
"Good, I'm just glad Calum is gone," I said, and then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "Sorry, I've got to take this. Raven's been calling on and off non-stop for days."
Louise, having been briefed on the situation, nodded and got back to her work. I sighed and answered. "Hey, what's up?"
"Just giving you an update," Raven sounded more like herself than she had done yesterday, but the undercurrent of worry was still present in her voice. "He's sleeping at the moment, but the doctor says he might need bypass surgery."
"Got it," I replied. "Are you doing okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, and then sighed. "Ross, I know you don't want to, but it would really help me if you could come to the hospital for a couple of hours tomorrow. I have a meeting I can't get out of."
I closed my eyes, and said, "Raves, can you ask literally anyone else?"
"No, it's family only at the moment. I just don't want him to be alone right not. I know you don't see eye to eye-"
"Fist to face, more like," I muttered, and then gritted my teeth. "I'll come and sit outside of his room in case a doctor turns up and gives any further information. I'm not going inside the room, though."
Raven sounded relieved. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."
"No worries," I said, and hung up. I looked at Louise and said, "I need to do something intrinsically evil to balance out the emotional shit I've had to do today."
Louise pursed her lips, and then held up a stack of forms. "We need to do some employee evaluations. I can give you the worst people to review."
"Perfect," I sighed. "I'll be in my office."
*****
By some miracle, I finished work on time so I didn't need to skip out early to get Jasper. I drove to the school, knowing that Jasper and Rory had decided to go running after classes finished. Jasper was waiting for me just next to the car park, and waved as I pulled up, rushing over.
"Hey," he said, getting into the passenger side, leaning over to kiss me. He looked flushed, with bright eyes and tight gym gear on.
"I like your post-exercise look," I told him, making a U turn in the street and heading back the way I'd come from.
"I'm up for some more," he teased me, and then realised I'd turned left at the end of the road. "This isn't the way to yours," he frowned, and then sighed. "You're really taking me home, aren't you?"
"Three days on Harper's sofa is enough," I told him firmly, smiling a little when I saw him pouting, sinking down in his seat. "You need to speak with your parents, and sort things out. I'm happy to talk to them as well, to reassure them on anything, but you have to deal with things first. I told Andrew you're coming home."
He looked at me slyly. "If I really, really beg, can I use the promise of oral sex to get out of this?"
"No," I told him, although personally I wasn't sure I could follow through on that. "The longer you leave it, the worse it'll get. Okay?"
I could tell he wanted to argue, but he knew none of the arguments would stand up. "Fine," he replied, and folded his arms across his chest grumpily. "But you'd better be on standby in case they flip out at me."
"I'll keep my phone on," I promised him, and ruffled his hair. "You'll do great."
He sighed, and leaned into my hand. For a moment, I felt my heart ache for him. I couldn't have imagined having this conversation with my parents. Mostly because by his age, I was no longer in contact with my parents.
"If it goes badly," I suddenly spoke up, taking my hand away and putting it on his leg. "Then that's okay as well. You have all of us to take care of you. You wouldn't be alone. Jenny and Lucie moved the earth to look after me when I had to leave home."
Jasper didn't look at me, but he asked, "What happened?"
"Harper had come out to most people," I explained. I hadn't delved into these memories very often over the past few years, but my voice came out smooth and calm. "We were sixteen, we'd been friends for years. Harper wasn't what you'd typically think of as a gay kid, so it was a huge surprise to everyone, except me. We'd been sneaking into clubs with fake IDs and lying about our age to get laid. We both came from crappy homes, and we didn't really think much of ourselves, so we would go home with anyone, regardless of how shady they seemed."
"Is that when he got it?" Jasper asked.
"Yeah," I nodded. "Harper's been HIV positive since about six months into being sixteen. We'd been pretty careful with protection, but he got super drunk and forgotten to use a condom. I dragged him to the sexual health clinic, and a few days later they called him."
Jasper exhaled sharply, thinking of how that news would hit someone. I nodded. "Yeah, you can imagine. I mean, at first we didn't really know what it meant for his life, just that... well, we all know the jokes about AIDs. He freaked, and told his parents. They kicked him out."
I had a bad taste in my mouth thinking of Harper's parents. He hadn't seen them as long as I hadn't seen mine, and he absolutely knew why I avoided ever seeing my father. "We'd met Jenny and Lucie a bunch by this point," I continued. "They had only just opened Café Latte. He didn't know where else to go - we knew my parents wouldn't let him stay. So he went there. Jenny and Lucie put him up for nearly a year while he finished his A Levels, they signed on as his legal guardians for that time."
"Wow," Jasper murmured. "That's so good of them."
"They were angels," I replied. "They helped him find support groups, took him to his appointments, gave him education on safe sex - and they took me in, too. Harper's parents and my parents were close, so of course my parents found out about the entire thing. It wasn't long before I was kicked out as well - they knew I was going out with him, they just hadn't realised where we'd been going."
"What did Raven do?" Jasper asked.
"Raven hadn't figured anything out by then," I told him, and a heart-breaking memory of Raven screaming and crying as Mum and Dad locked the door behind me stabbed at my heart. I swallowed. "I told her to stay and be safe, and that I'd be in touch. Once I was with Jenny and Lucie, I made sure Raven was able to safely stay in touch with me. She moved out for university the following year, and distanced herself somewhat from my parents, but they remained on friendly terms."
Jasper frowned, and then said, "I can't imagine it was easy that she stayed in touch with them."
I cleared my throat to try and get rid of the lump that was forming. "It wasn't, but we made it work. I knew she was trapped in that relationship, they were manipulative people. But honestly, most of the time I just felt so bad for her. She was stuck with the family that I had managed, somehow, to escape. Jenny and Lucie were incredible people - especially for being as young as they were, they were about my age."
"I'm glad you had them," Jasper smiled, and then said, "Thank you for sharing that with me. I don't imagine it's something you talk about often."
"It isn't, and Harper called me out on it," I snorted, and then we were turning onto Jasper's street. "I'm going to drop you off here - I don't think pulling up right outside your house is going to end well for both of us."
"Yeah, good idea," Jasper nodded, and I pulled up ten or so houses down from his place. He sighed and said, "I'll let you know how it goes, once I've escaped the wrath of my mother. Thanks for driving me home."
"No worries," I said, and pulled him in for a kiss. It felt strange; I was oddly itchy and uncomfortable, like I was embarrassed for having spoken so candidly about what happened. I didn't like it, but in a way, I felt lighter. "Good luck."
"Thanks," he smiled, his face lighting up from the kiss. Once he left, I sighed, slumping in my seat. Maybe it was from sharing my past, or maybe it was from knowing I was sending him to a horribly emotional conversation, but that kiss had felt more intimate than anything I'd ever done before.
****
As I walked into Café Latte that evening, both Lucie and Harper looked at me expectantly. I contemplated turning around and walking straight back out to avoid the conversation, but sighed, and held up my hands in surrender. "Will you both stop being my little shoulder angels?" I asked them, sitting at the counter and looking at Cherry. "Cherry, I need-"
"Coffee," she finished for me, and nodded. "Two minutes."
"Thanks," I sighed, and turned back to Lucie. "I left work early, picked him up from college and practically forced him into his own house. Happy?"
"Did you stay around and find out what happened?" Harper asked curiously.
I shook my head. "No, I thought they would want family time. Plus the fight is about me, why would I willingly walk into that place?"
"I'm sure it wouldn't have been that bad," Lucie said, and patted my head. "But you did the right thing; he needs to be at home. Good for you, darling. I'm proud of you."
I sighed, as she headed towards a table. "It's nice not feeling guilty for once."
"Good," Harper said, greeting me with a kiss as I sat at the coffee bar with him. "You did well. How does it feel being a responsible adult?"
"Shit," I muttered, but smiled slightly. "I talked to him about my parents - and yours, I hope you don't mind. Just to reassure him that even if it goes really badly, he's got a family to go to." Harper indicated he wasn't bothered by that, and I turned to the waitress. "Cherry, where's my coffee? I'm dying."
"Here you are, babe," she said, putting a mug down in front of me filled practically to the brim. "You sure you don't want to switch to decaf? It's gone seven."
"Don't be ridiculous," I inhaled the blissful aroma of coffee. "If I don't get caffeine, I cannot function as a basic human being."
The stool beside me scraped on the floor as a familiar voice said, "You might die of high blood pressure one day, you know."
"Oh, joy," I said, recognising the voice instantly and turning my head to see the familiar dusty blonde hair. "Hello, Twinkie. Isn't it a school night?"
Jasper rolled his eyes and stole my coffee mug, sipping out of it. "Mm, that's good coffee. Cherry, can I get that spiced chai latte, please?" Cherry nodded and opened the drawer filled with loose leaf tea. He turned to me and said, "And yes, it is a school night, which is why I'm not going to be here for long. Harper, this is from my mother as a thank-you for having me for a few days."
He delved into his bag and pulled out what looked like a pie, wrapped up in a cardboard box and tied with string. Harper perked up. "That smells great," he beamed. "I would say you don't need to thank me for that, but if I get pie then I'm happy."
"She makes a ton of them," Jasper replied, handing it over. "It's apple and raspberry."
"Score!" Harper grinned, smelling it through the wrapping. "Ah, that is what I imagine a mother's love to smell like. Delicious. Thank her for me!" He suddenly eyed the door, and his face fell. "Saffie? You okay?"
We all looked over to find Sapphire standing in the doorway in a toned-down version of her usual drag, wearing a green summer dress that was absolutely drenched by some kind of milkshake. "I've had one hell of a day," she said, stomping over to the counter. "I got drink-bombed on my way down the street. Some dickheads think they're hilarious. I'm heading home to change, but I wanted to stop in for a coffee."
Jasper gaped at the dress. "I don't think you're going to rescue that."
"No, I know," she grimaced. "It wasn't cheap, either. Bastards."
"Who does that?" Jasper sighed, and then thanked Cherry for his chai latte as she put it in front of him. "Are you working tonight? Tom was dropping in with a job application for bartending over the summer to make some cash, I can get him to tell them you'll be late."
"It's all good, Twinkie, I'm not working today," Sapphire smiled, using napkins to mop up any excess milkshake. "Lucie, can I get my coffee Irish today?"
"Sure can, sugar," Lucie said as she cheerfully rushed back over to see Edward and Jasper. "Didn't get that license for noth- oh, no! Saffie! Your dress!"
Sapphire sighed. "Yeah, it's pretty bad."
Lucie frowned. "I've got some spare uniforms in the back, go change and I'll apply a solution to the dress, see if we can save it. If not, I can probably use the excess fabric to make something cute."
Perking up, Sapphire kissed her cheeks, leaving a little trail of glitter across Lucie's face, and thanked her profusely before heading off to the staffroom to change into a uniform. Lucie then turned to Jasper and said, "Twinkie! I'm so happy to see you! Do you want some cake?"
"I'll take some arsenic," Jasper replied, but smiled and gave her a hug. It seemed really affectionate, and she was surprised but pleased. I wondered if my conversation with him had made him feel even more strongly about Jenny and Lucie.
Harper put his arm around Jasper and said, "It can't have been that bad, baby."
"Oh, really?" Jasper asked, leaning against him and shuddering at the recent memories. "You don't think a safe-sex lecture with my mother, and then one with my father, and then another one with my brother, was not bad?"
"Could have been worse," Harper said fairly, kissing him on the forehead. "Could have been your grandmother."
Jasper winced, elbowing him in the ribs. "Please don't."
Harper spied my facial expression, which was probably screaming 'what happened what happened what happened' repeatedly, and rescued me from my agony. "Did they say much about Ross?"
"Yes," Jasper snorted. "All of you, actually."
"Well, I suppose we had that one coming," Harper laughed, and the staff door reopened to reveal Sapphire, who actually looked pretty good in the uniform. She'd put her jacket over the top so that people didn't mistake her for actual staff. "Jasper's just telling us what happened with his parents today," Harper filled her in.
Jasper glanced awkwardly around the group and said, "Well, they... they want you all to come to dinner on Friday."
Harper, Sapphire and I gaped at him in horror, and even Lucie looked pretty surprised. Recovering first, Harper blurted out, "Are you kidding? We aren't fit guests for dinner parties! Jenny, Lucie and I are the most sensible ones and even we are risky dinner party guests. Ross and Edward are terrible at best, and I don't even want to think about what Raven would say."
"Terrible at best?" Sapphire asked, offended, and then said firmly to Jasper, "I'd love to go. I haven't been to a dinner party in ages. The main question is - what's the dress code?"
"Relatively subdued, if we're going by my parents' clothes," Jasper replied, and looked at the others. "Will you come?" He shot Harper the puppy-dog eyes. "Please? There'll be more pie."
Harper groaned. "Completely unfair. But yes, if Edward is going, then I will go because quite honestly, he needs babysitting. Is it just your parents, or is your brother going to be there?"
"Just parents," Jasper replied. "Andrew's on his way back to university tomorrow. He's got some exams then he's done for the year."
"I'm sure we'll have a lovely time," Lucie smiled hesitantly. "I'll tell Jenny and Tom about it tonight when I get in. Can you text us all the details?"
"Sure," Jasper replied, and then shot a look at me. "Can you ask Raven? I'm scared of her."
I snorted, pulling out my phone. "Fine, but I'm telling her not to shoot the messenger. And I don't know if I'll be available on Friday, work is taking up a lot of my time at the moment and I've already skipped enough to take care of you."
"It might work better if you're not there," Harper said fairly. "We can talk you up to them and make sure they realise you're not a creepy old guy trying to corrupt their son."
Lucie suddenly started fussing around Sapphire's dress, taking it through to the kitchen to apply some magical cleaning solution she had for washing the aprons. "What dress are you going to wear on Friday?" Jasper asked, surprising Sapphire.
"Are you sure you want me in drag?" she asked, her eyebrows shooting up towards her hairline.
"If you want to be in drag, then come in drag," Jasper shrugged. "I mean, it gets pretty warm in my house, so I wouldn't come in things you'll get super warm in, but what you're wearing today was pretty - before y'know, the milkshake."
Sapphire didn't take another moment to think about it, and simply said, "I'll wear the purple, then."