1. You have rough hands, and horrible shoes. Are you Amish or something?
2. I'll have a trenta, no-foam, five-shot half-caf, no foam, pumpkin spice latte with no foam at 210 degrees
3. I'm sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?"
4. Nobody likes a suck-up, Chanel #5
5. She smells like hot dog water
6. I'm sorry, Kappa doesn't participate in the make a wish foundation
7. Secrets are the glue that bind sorority sisters together
8. Farty McCandlewax CLEARLY miscounted the votes!
9. Thankyou for making that announcement that nobody cared about
10. Give it a rest, Nancy Drew!
12. You're a talking bowling ball on a stick!
13. I really have to pee, but there is no way that I'm going anywhere near a toilet. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go look for a salad bowl to squat over!
14. Miss Bean's not dead! She's haunting the campus with her fatness and murdering people
15. Gravity killed Hester. I just gave her a little push