Swallowing back tears, I shuffled down the hallway to the boys' rooms. Which room was Dean's? Some of the doors were open, some were closed. I was not in the mental state to go door to door and make apologies when I got the wrong one.
I pressed my eyes closed then open again. Memories of the psychiatric ward flashed in my thoughts. I had to do this. I couldn't end up catatonic, imprisoned in my own head. "Dean!" I shouted. "Dean where are you?"
I waited, watching all the doors. He poked his head out of the third door on the left. "Hey, Leah. What are you doing?"
I took a few steps closer. "I need to talk to you."
"Sure, come on in."
He opened the door wider and motioned me in. I had to step over clothes strew all over the floor to get more than two steps inside. His Zombie game was paused on a large screen that took up most of the wall opposite his bed, blankets strewn. It smelled like boy—feet and armpit. Tinsely voices crawled from a set of headphones resting on the foot of the bed.
Dean dropped onto his bed and picked up his controller again. "What's up?"
Books sat in small piles on every surface. The walls were plastered with posters: one of Einstein with a wide curling handle-bar moustache drawn on it in purple marker, one showed characters from Star Wars jamming in a rock band together, and another sported a black and white kitten with the phrase, "Every time someone calls tech support, a kitten dies."
I stared at Einstein. He stared back knowingly. Was he smirking? I couldn't do this in here.
"Sorry for the mess, if I knew you were coming . . . ." Dean scratched the back of his head.
I skimmed my teeth over my bottom lip. "It's okay. Don't worry about it."
He fidgeted with the buttons on the controller. "Are you okay?"
I nodded and then sat down on the bed beside him.
"So . . . what did you want to talk about?" he asked.
My throat dried. I swallowed. "Um, I thought maybe you'd show me how to play that game."
"Really?" He placed his hand to my forehead. "You don't feel feverish."
"No, I'm serious." I wanted to sound more convincing.
His brow furrowed. "You look kind of sick."
"I'm not. Just tired."
The creases between his eyebrows deepened, and he blinked a couple of times before he got up and went to his dresser. He opened a drawer and dug around for a moment, then pulled out another controller. He returned to the bed and handed it to me.
He described what each button did. My cloudy mind couldn't focus. Everything he said seemed like a foreign language. I didn't want the clouds to clear. Maybe what I had to do wouldn't seem real when it was over.
"Make sense?" he asked.
"Not really."
"Okay, well you can watch me play, and when you feel ready to start, let me know."
I nodded. I watched his character stalk through the ruins of a city and slay zombies with axes and machetes, blood splashing over the screen. Once he got them all, he moved on to a new level.
His character dropped into a scene, different from the one in the previous level. This scene was a modern city in perfect condition—brick buildings with ivy growing up the sides, wide colourful flower beds. His first target moved toward him. The creature had scaly, muddy green skin with yellow eyes. It wasn't a zombie at all—it was one of those soldier creatures.
I dropped the controller, and it tumbled to the floor. Dean hit pause and looked at me.
I sprang to my feet. "Dean, when you're done here, do you think you could come to my room so we can talk?"
"Yeah, sure. Just let me finish this level."
I walked to my room, went inside and sat on the bed, leaving the door open. I stared straight ahead. My mind was empty, that's the way I wanted it. An image of Jace popped into my head. He was right all along. Those paranoid ideas he had weren't paranoid at all, which means he was probably right about everything. Those soldiers were trying to kill what was left of humanity. No wonder he didn't trust me. I've become an enemy to my own people.
My heart rate climbed. On the verge of panic, I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself. One wrong move and Dr. Rail will take me to the hospital.
I focused on the wood grain on my dresser until a tapping sound echoed from the door. Dean stood in the doorway. "Hey, you had something you wanted to talk about?"
"Yeah, come on in. And could you close the door?"
"Sure." He swung the door closed and then leaned against my desk. "So, what's up?"
I'd cleared my mind too much. The words I needed refused to come. "Can you sit next to me?" I patted the spot on the bed beside me.
"Okay?" His voice pitched higher at the end. He hesitated, then sat down.
I pressed my eyes closed. Now what?
"Leah, what's going on with you?"
I opened my eyes. Dean was my friend. At least I had that. Zero attraction, but he was a nice guy. "Dean . . . I . . . ." I touched the collar of his shirt.
His eyes narrowed. "Leah?"
I grabbed a handful of fabric, pulled him toward me and pressed my lips against his. I placed my other hand on his chest. He tensed but quickly relaxed. My stomach churned, but I kept kissing him. I lay back onto my bed and pulled him down with me. His hand moved over my side and around to my back.
I was dying inside. The longer I kissed him, the more of me wasted away. Knowing that I'd have to be naked with him and all the ways he'd be touching me sent a shock of panic through me. I wanted to push him away. No, I had to do this. I slid my hand under his shirt to encourage him further. But, tears overflowed my eyes.
His hand brushed my cheek and I felt him pause. He pulled away and scrutinized my face.
"Don't stop." I yanked him back toward me. I needed him to carry this; I needed him to push it forward because I couldn't.
He shook his head and moved farther from me. "Leah, no."
"Dean, please." A sob escaped my throat. "Please." I tugged on his shirt.
His face fell, all humour and playfulness gone. He glanced at the mirror above my dresser and then back at me. He let me pull him down. He lay on the bed next to me, peered into my eyes and kissed me. He grabbed my leg and hitched it over his thigh. His lips moved to my neck and worked their way up to my ear. I felt his breath on my ear.
"You know the truth, don't you?" he whispered.
My breath caught. I pulled away, looked into his eyes and nodded.
He kissed my lips again and then slid his hand under my shirt, up my back. Then his lips returned to my ear. "They threatened you?"
I nodded again.
Another kiss and then his lips move back to my ear. "I'm not going to make you do this. Play along, okay?"
"Okay," I mouthed.
He stood up and pulled me off the bed. He yanked the comforter open and then he returned to me. He peeled his shirt off and then I let him do the same to me. He tossed my shirt on the floor on the other side of the bed. He got into my bed, guided me in next to him and then fixed the comforter over our heads.
"Okay, what do you know?" he whispered.
"I know they were never human. I also know that the Tesla coil works. Whenever I'm near it my compass points north, but when the power went off it pointed south. The magnetic field is fine. They're cancelling it out. And apparently, their ships have been landing."
"How do you know that?"
I bit my lip. "I found a way out. I've been on the outside."
"I really wish you would have played Zombie Epoch with me."
I wanted to slap him. How could he bring that up at a time like this? "Dean, this isn't the time."
"It's not what you think it is. We're using the game to strategize against them; the Typhons think we're communicating about the game."
"That's why you were on the restricted computers. You have to stop—they know someone has been on them. They blamed me, but I knew it was you."
"Did you tell . . . ?"
I interrupted. "No, of course not."
He released a relieved sigh. "Thank you. I had no idea."
"Oh, I forgot," he whispered. "We have a part to play."
"Oh Leah you're amazing," he said aloud.
"Oh Dean," I called back.
"You have to sound like you mean it," he whispered.
"Sorry."
"Dean, I need to get out of here. I need get to the tunnel that runs under the fence."
"There's a tunnel? They're going to be watching you close. You'll have to avoid the cameras."
"Help me with your bra," he announced loudly.
I was confused for a moment and then remembered my part.
"There you go Dean, baby. Yeah right there, that's good."
"That's better," he whispered.
"I don't really have to take my bra off do I?"
"You don't have to, but you can if you want."
"Dean."
"Just kidding."
"Do you know where the cameras are?" I asked.
"I know exactly where they are. First of all, there's one in your mirror. When we're done here, I'll throw my shirt over the mirror. Once they've seen you've done your duty, they won't be very interested in watching us sleep. It shouldn't arouse any suspicion. You'll have to climb out the window because there are cameras in the hall. Where exactly do you need to go?"
"Near the fence between the dorm and the Tesla building there's a shaft that leads into a tunnel."
"Perfect. Once you're out go directly to the fence and follow it. There aren't any cameras near the fence. They're all attached to buildings." He smiled. "Now we need to finish off our friends with benefits act. Make me sound good okay?"
"Oh, oh, oh Dean," I cried out.
He looked dissatisfied with my performance. "Dean you're amazing? Dean you rock my world?" he whispered.
I rolled my eyes. "Oh Dean, I've never seen anything so big. Yes, right there. Yes, yes, yes!"
"Better." He mouthed.
He pulled the comforter down so that we could breathe, and he made a show of kissing me again, except I could tell it was more than a show for him. I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a real kiss. "Thank you," I whispered.
He put his lips to my ear. "It's not easy lying in bed with you like this. You better get going before I decide it needs to happen for real. My willpower is stretched about as far as it will go before it snaps."
Then he reached down to the floor, grabbed his T-shirt and threw it at the mirror. The shirt hooked over the rosette at the top.
"Yes! First try!"
I jumped out of bed, found my shirt, and pulled it over my head. I went to the window and opened it just enough for me to squeeze through, but then I turned back. I went to Dean and kissed him again. "Goodbye."
"Don't come back, okay?"
"Okay." Why are boys always saying that to me? I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint Jace, that is, if I can find him. If I could tell the survivors what the Tesla Coil does, maybe there was something they could do to stop it.
I climbed out the window and flattened myself against the brick wall. Now to get to the shaft without getting caught.