Letty's POV
Mr Toretto's anniversary rolled round suddenly. I stood with my head bowed beside his grave in the slightest drizzle of rain. The rain was hot and the droplets ran down my arms as I stood there in my jeans and tank top. Even though it was killing me to admit it, tears were rolling freely down my cheeks staining them and making my eyes sting. I murmured prayers that he was happy and that he was protecting us always. Then I sat down in the soft earth and talked to him. I didn't talk to anyone about how I felt but things were beginning to build up inside me and I was carrying it around like a weight on my shoulders. Part of me felt like I was knuckling under now and I was not the type of person who knuckled under.
"What do I do?" I asked the empty graveyard. "I don't know how long I can keep going. Sometimes I feel like I'm ready to collapse then I see Mia grinning because there's money for groceries and it seems all worth while. Sometimes I want to quit then I realise if I do I'll lose the house and I want the house to be here when Dom comes home because I think I might love him."
Those words surprised me as I hadn't even registered them in my own mind. If I'd had the thought I must have dismissed them quickly and with relative ease because now they had been voiced out loud they astounded me.
"Wow, I didn't think I'd say that out loud," I said with a slight laugh. "But seriously, how did you ever do this? You provided for four people for years and paid the mortgages on the house, the garage and the shop. I've been doing this for nearly a year now and it's been so difficult. Everything is so damn expensive and it kills me to think I practically hate spending money of any sort because it means something else has to give. You probably already know but I sold the Cobra, it was the only way I could pay the bills that month. I'm so damn tired of doing anything and everything."
I was ranting a little but I'd carried this for so long it felt like a cross on my shoulders bearing me down. Even when I wrote letters to Dom I filtered most of the crap out and gave him a very positive picture. Most of it was extensions of the truth, making our lives look better.
"Call me selfish if you want but I want to be taken care of for a while cause it ain't easy taking care of everyone else all the time. Damn, I love Mia and everything she does for me but it's hard. Too hard for an seventeen year old girl. Too hard for anyone to bare single handedly, yet you did it for years. Mr Toretto, I have a new found respect for you man and I'll carry that respect with me everywhere I go."
I felt a little lighter as I stood up. Now I wasn't so sure I was fighting against the world but I still hated the world for all the crap it had put us through. Gritting my teeth I forced myself to carry on. Unburdening myself had helped a little but I'd done good so far I could carry on for thirteen more months. Nearly there. I could feel my own fight stirring within me and it drove me onwards. Working that day was easier than I could have prayed for, I worked hard that day, turning out the cars faster than I usually did but I assumed my eagerness for a distraction made it seem easier.
That night sitting in the house was strange. Mia had taken the day off school and sadly spent the whole day in bed. I had opted to work anyways as being busy stopped me feeling as much. When I came home there was no dinner on the table like usual so I made my way to the fridge to start cooking when a thought stuck me. As much as we couldn't afford it, a take away would be nice. Fatty food would distract us for a bit.
I still recalled the number of the Chinese that delivered and wasn't ti far away. I ordered a half and half with curry sauce on the side, salted chilli chicken and smoked crispy chicken. Both of our favourites.
Then I trudged upstairs. "Hey Mi, dinner will be here in half an hour!" I called from the hall hoping to lure her out of her room. As I had sort of thought she didn't emerge. Leaning against her bedroom door like a lovesick puppy who had been denied access to his beloved mistress I knocked gently.
"Letty, I'm fine."
"Chica you ain't been out of that bed all day. You gotta eat. I ordered Chinese and I could eat it by myself but I happen to like your company." My joke was rubbish but I heard a weak laugh escape Mia.
"You laughed, come keep me company! Please!" I begged.
"Fine," she said with a sigh.
I heard her bed creak as she got up. She opened her door and we were pretty much face to face except I was shorter than her by an inch or two.
"Why didn't you just come on in?" She asked as she shook out her unbrushed hair.
"Cause," I said with a shrug, "I didn't want to invade your privacy."
Mia scoffed and we headed downstairs, my footsteps making more noise in their heavy boots and Mia's footsteps pitter pattered down behind me in her bare feet.
"So, tell me this," I requested of Mia as we made our way to sit in the kitchen, "What did you do today?"
"Nothing I went to my Father's grave around one then came back home to bed."
"At least you got up," I murmured more to myself than to her.
I hadn't doubted that today would be difficult for her but I had hoped it would be easier. We sat in the kitchen in silence, I rested my head in my hand as I lifted a notebook and started to draw. I drew my Cobra, well Mitchell's Cobra now. Mia sat beside me and watched over my shoulder making me slightly self conscious of my rough drawing and wavering lines.
The doorbell sounded, breaking the silence in the house. I got to my feet and grabbed my purse off the counter where it sat from one end of the day to the next as I only put money in it when I had it.
"Hi," I said as I opened the door.
"Hey, Ortiz?"
"Yeh please."
"Twelve, seventy please."
"Okay," I murmured handing him fifteen dollars, "Keep the change man."
"Thanks."
I closed the door and turned to the kitchen carrying the bag from the Chinese. The smell was overwhelming and made my mouth water. It hadn't been a bad idea to get a takeout. Mia was lifting plates from the microwave and she placed them carefully on the table. We doled the food out we sat and ate together.
"This is good," Mia said with a smile.
"Really good," I agreed. We hadn't eaten out in a while and it tasted better for that reason. We had always loved a good Chinese.
"Busy today Let?"
"Yeh, sort of. Kind of nice pace for today though," I admitted as I wolfed more down. My stomach was protesting as I ate but it was too good not to keep eating.
We lapsed into silence again and I struggled to come up with an easy conversation to have with Mia. Usually hanging out with her was far too easy but it was difficult today as I was hyper aware of her feelings.
"No crack at school lately?"
Mia pursed her lips and thought, a frown creasing on her brow. "Well, Marco and Sean fought yesterday. Marco almost shoved Sean down the stairs and gave him a bloody nose. Mr Carson got in the middle and he took a good smack to the jaw before they finally got the fight broken up."
I chuckled as I listened to her story. Mia didn't especially like fist fights but I always thought they were hilarious, well more so when I wasn't involved.
"What did Mr Carson say?" I asked enthusiastically.
"Just told them to wise up and dragged them off to detention."
I shrugged. That school had seen too many fights for teachers to actually freak out. I was actually surprised Mr Carson didn't kill the boys for getting him hit too.
"Nothing new at the garage?" Mia asked with a slight smile.
"Mmm, not really. Oh actually, did I tell you about the Mercedes in the other week?"
"No."
"Okay so this guy brings in this beautiful carbon black Mercedes, she is a dream to drive, soft leather seats, tinted windows, the works. Oh Mia you should have seen her," I said as I described this gorgeous beast of a car. Mia shook her head, she rarely went completely gaga over a car, unlike me. "So anyways he works at this like mill sort of construction place and they're always pulling pranks on each other. The guy was due payback. They popped the hood of his car and stuck a mouse down the radiator pipe to let it decay. It was disgusting, the smell. Then they'd stuck raw meat under the dash and stuck it with silver masking tape so it could rot as well." I laughed a little as I thought about it. "The smell was rotten but it was hilarious."
Mia laughed a little as I talked. "Boys will be boys."
We talked a little about things in the shops. I hadn't been in a shop since before Christmas but Mia had recently seen a sundress which she loved.
"Is sixty dollars, too much for this?" She asked as she showed me a picture of a pale green sundress with a darker band at the waist. It would fall to her knees.
"No, it's lovely," I agreed. It wasn't my sort of thing. "What do you need?"
"No, I'm saving for it."
"That's not what I asked," I said lightly.
"Letty, I'm not telling you."
I sighed and I sat back in the chair. Mia boiled the kettle and we rinsed the dishes for the dishwasher. She made us tea and we went into the living room to sit.
I fell into the sofa and sat back.
"Hey Let, thanks for everything today."
"I haven't done anything."
"Yeh you have. Thanks for everything you've done this last year."
"Hey girl, I appreciate everything you did for me. You make me dinner every day. You clean the damn house. Nah I just do my own share."
She and I sat and drank our tea. This ritual had yet to get old, weirdly I love it. While I usually despised being able to be stereotyped into a typical female role, it was nice to be able to sit and relax with my best friend.
We sat up that night until about two in the morning, just nattering about rubbish. Luckily it was now Sunday so it didn't matter so much as I didn't have to get up early for work.
As we made our way up the stairs to bed I saw Mia's face fall at the prospect of being alone.
"Hey, you good?"
"I'm good."
I nodded and crawled into bed. The second my head hit the pillow I was out like a light. I was awoke by Mia budging me over. With a lazy smile I rolled over, if you didn't share a bed every so often were you really best friends? I never cuddled with her, we just lay in the same bed and slept when she was down. It was more so she knew I wasn't going anywhere kind of thing. It only really happened when her birthday rolled around, her Father's anniversary, Christmas, her Father's birthday. I was assuming on the day Dom was sentenced she would be invading my bed again. Closing my eyes again I felt myself drifting off. Mia said something but I didn't quite hear it but I didn't exactly strain myself to hear her.
I woke the next morning, sort of early to Mia still sleeping beside me. It was only eight, I saw when I looked at the clock. Uh no, too early for a Sunday. I closed my eyes again and luckily fell straight back over to sleep. Waking at ten felt better.
Carefully I rolled out of my bed so as not to wake her. I pattered off to the bathroom to shower and wash my hair. I had nothing planned for today and it was staying that way. As I climbed out of the shower I realised it was a year ago since Dom and I had slept together. It was terrifying how much had changed in this year.
I shook the thoughts away and headed downstairs to make breakfast. I made toast and took myself outside to eat. Sitting in the slightly cool morning air, I shivered before taking myself back inside. How did we ever sit outside this time last year for dinner?
That day I did little and that night I had a Corona, my first in a while and drank it sitting on the walk outside reminiscing over the last year. This year had changed me, I was tougher, probably colder, definitely more street smart but I'd had to grow up. When Dom returned I hoped he wouldn't find me too changed and I hoped he'd still like me. Part of me hoped he'd find me more mature, more grown up. I hoped he'd be proud of me for everything I'd done in this last year but that was a long shot. I wasn't always proud of everything I'd done in the past year. I lied regularly to Mia about having enough money, I worked long days, I didn't race anymore. Those were things I'd never wanted to change.