THERE WAS a soft knock on my door, telling me it wasn't Negan.
"Come in," I said, sitting up on my bed as a girl, no older than me, walked in, wearing a tight, black dress that reached her knees. "Who are you?"
She sat next to me on my bed, tucking her short, brown hair behind her ear and looking up at me.
"I saw you and Negan, in the cafeteria. I just, I want you to know that soon enough, he's going to get what he wants. And that's you as one of his wives." She told me, taking my hand and playing with her thumbs as she spoke.
"No, I'm not going to become one of his wives," I yelled. "I'm not going to subject myself as his property just because he wants to get laid. He's bargaining the lives of those women by offering them safety. I'm not going to make myself any lesser to him than I already am." I told her, standing up and pacing as I went off.
I glared back at her and her expression was sad. She looked like a child after their toy was taken.
"What? Did I say something wrong? Cause that's the damn truth."
She shook her head, letting it fall into her hands as she sobbed. I didn't know what to do, I was never good at comforting people in bad times and I could guarantee I wasn't any better now.
I stood in front of her, awkwardly waiting for her to say something more, but she only continued to cry. I moved to sit next to her and I hesitantly put my hand on her back, as this was something my parents had always done when I was upset.
"You're right," She said, lifting her hand and drying her tears. "Negan uses them when he's angry, or when he's bored. He doesn't care about any one of them, they're just pawns in his fucked up fantasy. The only thing he does and ever will care about is power and the fear he puts into those who cannot rise above him." She explained, and as she did, I realized she was one of his wives.
"You're one of them. Aren't you?" I asked, leaning away from her and removing my hand from her back.
She nodded her head and rose, her face all of a sudden dry and her demeanor sharp. She walked towards the door, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. She reached for the door, turning to me one last time.
"You might as well give in. He always gets what he wants."
And then she left, locking me in.
~
I woke up, looking out the window and finding the sky slowly lighting up. I removed the covers, getting out of bed and feeling the cold floor under my feet.
I walked into the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror and noticing the bags under my eyes and my drying lips. I moved away from the mirror and back into my room, getting tired of looking at myself.
While I dressed, there was a knock on the door and I heard it unlocking so I quickly ran into the bathroom, shutting the door.
"y/n?" I heard, relieved that it was Dwight and not Negan.
"Do you need something?" I asked, pulling on my jeans and trying not to fall over. I heard Dwight walk closer to the bathroom and I locked the door.
"Negan wants to see you."
The only five words I didn't want to hear. I rolled my eyes, unlocking and opening the door to find Dwight leaning against the frame.
"What for?" I asked, moving away from Dwight and trying to find my boots. I found them hiding under my bed and I pulled them on before making my bed.
"Who knows. I just know that if you don't show up, he's gonna be pissed. So I would go." He explained as I finished making my bed. I glared at him, my hands on my hips and he only glared back.
"Fine."
Dwight escorted me to Negan's quarters and opened the door for me. I walked in and watched Dwight close the door behind me, wishing he wouldn't leave me alone with Negan.
"Morning, darling," Negan greeted, coming out of the bathroom in nothing but boxers. I tried not to stare, but I couldn't find myself looking away from him. "Wanting yourself a piece of this?" He asked, grinning at me.
I turned around, placing myself on the couch and rolling my eyes.
"Why'd you call me down here?" I asked, looking out the window and keeping my eyes off of him.
"We're going on a run." He said, and I could hear him going through his drawers picking out clothes.
"Another one? We've just went on one three days ago." I asked, watching the men who were guarding the gates. Negan sat down across from me, wearing his usual white shirt and black leather jacket.
"One of my men spotted a place back in the woods and I want to get to it before someone else," He explained, joining me in gazing out the window. "So it's just you and me."
My head snapped to look at him and I swallowed hard. A run with Negan, just me and him. This was not good.
I stared at the ground, thinking of how horrible this was going to be. I could feel Negan grinning, knowing that he was causing me to react the way I was. He rose from his seat, grabbing Lucille from beside his bed and opening the door.
"Well, let's go, sweetheart."
~
We seemed to be driving aimlessly, the site one of Negan's men had seen showing up nowhere. Negan was in his usual position; hand rested on the wheel and foot propped on the door. He pulled over after an hour of driving around and turned off the ignition.
"What are you doing?" I asked him, sitting up straight and watching as he grabbed Lucille.
"To look for the supplies. This place obviously isn't showing up out of the fucking blue so we're gonna search for it." He said, opening the door and getting out.
I opened my door, jumping down and running into Negan's chest. I cleared my throat and moved out of his way. He continued to walk, but turned back around and handed me a knife.
"In case of any dead ones." He said, spinning on his heels and taking off into the woods with me in his tracks.
Negan started to whistle as he bounced around on his feet, searching for the mysterious cabin his buddy seemed to spot. I walked quietly, careful not to step on any twigs or make any noise.
From a short distance, I heard a twig break and a low groan, immediately knowing it was a dead one. I glanced around, making sure that once I found it, it would stay in my sight.
Negan ceased his whistling, assuming he had also heard the noise of the walking dead. I heard him chuckle lowly; I had almost forgotten that he enjoyed this.
"Come on out, ugly! Let me see your rotting face!" He yelled out, the groaning noise becoming louder.
I glanced around again, still seeing no sign of the corpse. I grabbed the knife Negan gave me and prepared for anything. As I watched carefully around me, I noticed Negan had disappeared as well.
My grip on the knife tightened as I realized I was alone. I heard the groans again, this time louder, indicating the dead was close. I turned around, everything happening in an instant.
Blood splattered onto my clothes as I witnessed Negan smash the corpse's head into a nearby tree with his bat. Negan smirked.
"Got 'em."
I rolled my eyes, looking down at my shirt and wishing it hadn't just been painted with the dead's blood.
"You couldn't have said, 'hey, y/n, watch out!'?" I asked, turning and continuing to walk.
"Then it would've come after me and I wouldn't have had the time to react," Negan retorted, swinging his bat around to rid of any chunks of flesh. "I should get a thank you."
I laughed and Negan grabbed my arm, pulling me towards him and looking directly in my eyes. I could feel his hot breath against my skin and I could see the lust in his eyes.
"So how about a thank you." He demanded and my mind drew a blank. All I could think about was wanting his body against mine; his lips against mine.
I didn't say anything, I stood on my toes, kissing him hard on the lips. His lips fought back; pushing and leading me up against a tree. He dropped Lucille, his hands becoming occupied as he unbuttoned my flannel and ran his rough hands over my skin.
I couldn't seem to control myself around him as my hands reached down to undo his belt. Negan's hands ran down my sides and to my hips, where he pulled my legs up around his waist.
His lips traveled down, tracing my jawline and down to my collarbone. His hand moving to his own pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them as his other hand kept me upright.
Even this far with this hateful creature, I still couldn't find myself stopping.
I felt him slowly find his way, somehow knowing his teasing would only make me want more. His hands were always keeping support on my hips while his teeth sunk into my lips.
As Negan's body rocked against mine, I could feel the bark from the tree digging and clawing at my back. But it was all too good.
I didn't want him to stop. I wanted to be up against this tree all fucking day if it meant being with him like this.