English Translator: stoked_souL
Godt's POV
"Godt, you're acting is getting worse and worse!" shouts one of the staffs.
Those words punctured my ears. And my pride, too. I can't blame him though. Call me unprofessional, but these past few days, I've been feeling like hell, and my work is suffering.
It all started two weeks ago. The ice cream incident.
Let me tell you why.
First, when I got home that night, I had an argument with Shrln. I couldn't help it.
She's the one who started avoiding me, yet she's making me feel like it's all my fault. She's accusing me of taking her for granted. That I don't have time for her anymore. That I'm putting my job before her.
As far as I remember, I am always the one who sends her messages and ask her to go out whenever I am free. She can really turn things around. Just because of that, we became cold to each other. Can you imagine how broken I'm feeling right now?
Second, no matter how hard I try to concentrate at work, I just can't because I am bothered by P'Tae and Bas and whatever it is that's going on between them. I can sense a strange kind of closeness between them. I should be the one in P'Tae's place. I should be the one closer with Bas. Why not? I'm his onscreen partner. P'Tae should be spending more of his time with Tee.
That's why sometimes, even if I want to ask Bas to rehearse some lines, the situation doesn't permit me. You already know why. P'Tae is always around him. The only chance I get to be with Bas is when P'Tae isn't present or is busy in a shoot. Nonetheless, P'Tae only has a limited number of scenes, so he has more free time to be with Bas.
I don't want to take too much of Bas' time during his break. That's why I just use my free time to take a nap. Can be helpful to refresh myself.
"I'm really really sorry. I'll do better next time." I express my apology while giving them a wai.
I don't remember how many times we've tried to shoot this particular scene, and I still can't get it.
"Do you still feel uncomfortable acting with your partner?" he asks while looking at Bas and me.
"No, not at all." I firmly answer, but to be honest, I do feel uneasy around Bas. Wait! I am not sure whether it is with Bas or with P'Tae. I know that sometimes he looks at me with threatening eyes that I feel anxious.
He's a nice guy, and I am aware of that. It's a fact. I just can't escape from his sharp stares whenever Bas and I are in front of the camera.
Or..... It could also be just my imagination.
"Are you sure? You don't look believable being Phana who's in love with Wayo. Feels empty. It's like watching a stump act."
"I'm really sorry. I'll do my best."
Sigh.
If only I could take some days off, I would. It's impossible because the series will air 2 months from now, and our schedule is unbelievably hectic.
"You and Bas are done for now. Use your free time to rehearse your lines. We'll just film the scenes of the supporting roles in the remaining time we have."
"Huh?"
"You heard it! Both of you need to work on your chemistry on-screen. Is something bothering you?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"Good. Because your behavior is affecting everyone especially Bas. It's not fair to him."
"I'm sorry." How many times have I apologized?
I look at Bas, and he just smiles at me. He knows the reason why I'm acting this way. I told him about it.
They take us to a separate room in the building.
"Here. Use this room to rehearse. Bring out the spark that you've shown us in the past."
"Yes, P'! Again, I'm sorry." I feel so guilty.
"It's fine. Just be more intimate with each other. There's no other way. But hey, by intimate, I didn't mean you should screw each other, alright?"
I laugh so hard, but when I look at Bas, I see his face turning red.
Then, P' hands over to me a copy of the script and exits the room. Now it's just the two of us here. He's certain no one will disturb us, so we can focus more.
"Still having problems with her?" he asks with a concerned voice tone.
"Yeah. She's not picking up any of my calls."
"Just give her time, P'. Maybe she's just confused right now."
I try so hard to return his sweet smile, but all I can muster is a bitter one.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in this kind of trouble. Feels like we're in a detention hall."
He giggles.
"Your fault, P'! Why don't you try harder?"
Now I can smile sincerely. No need to fake it. His smiles are infectious, so adorable. Thankfully, this kid understands me very well. I've told him about my personal issues because I felt like I could trust him. Now, he's being dragged into my mess and doesn't even get upset. His sincere intent to give me comfort encourages me to be better, stronger.
If I could only spend more time with him, I would. He gives me so much happiness even though we don't get to be together as often as I would like to. He's my stress reliever, my human happiness maker.
"Alright, I promise, I'll be better."
I mess with his hair. This is it. Phana mode ON. This is something that the character Phana would always do to Wayo, the love of his life.
Wait! Just a quick note! He has very soft hair. I think I'm starting to like this habit of Phana playing with Wayo's hair more and more.
"Let's get started, P'."
We take our seats and read the scripts first. For real? They gave us the kissing scene script? I glance at Bas, and I see that he's already focused on learning his lines. Now I feel guilty. I really need to take this seriously because I'm the one who screwed up.
----------
"So... You're my boyfriend now..."
He nods.
"If somebody tries to get your number, tell him you have a boyfriend already, okay?"
He hits me lightly.
"Look who's talking! I should be the one saying that."
I smile at him.
"Always remember that your P'Pha loves you very much." I move my face closer to his face.
"Ha ha ha ha ha! Wait a moment, P', I'm not ready yet. Ha ha ha!!!"
He laughs loudly. I know how he feels because the next scene we're about to practice is the kissing part.
"Bas, don't laugh!" I pretend to be serious.
"P', I can't do it. Ha ha ha ha ha!"
He can't stop giggling, so I just pinch his cheeks. How adorable!
"We're not going to kiss. Just be still when I move my face close to yours, alright?"
He nods as a sign that he understands.
I start again. Moving my face closer and closer to his, I notice his lips. Gulp! I've never been attracted to a guy's lips like this ever. I can't do this! I look away.
"Ha ha ha ha! You lose, P'!" That laugh. Again. How adorable. Contagious.
I laugh with him. Then I start tickling him. Gee! I didn't realize he's this ticklish.
"P'! Please stop!!!"
"Who's the loser now, huh?"
His laugh just keeps echoing inside the room. So soothing. For a moment there, I think I've forgotten all the negative things happening lately. I didn't know that a guy's laugh can do that.
"Can we do it one more time? I'll let you win!" He's challenging me.
Sure! Let's see. I'm sure this time, he'll lose.
I become serious again and started staring at him. I move my face really close to his. None of us is flinching. None smiling.
We keep moving closer. And closer. Too close I can already feel his warm breath. Shit! I suddenly feel something odd. Our eyes locked. Gulp! Again.
Aaaarrgghh! Will somebody please shut that devilish voice up inside my head? I know it's crazy if I kiss him, but that voice seems to be stronger. I can't control it. So aggressive that I listened to it after all.
Smack!
My lips touch his lips. I wait for his move. His eyes closed, but he isn't refusing. No pushing. Just waiting. Is he starting to like it? I have to make the next move to know. I parted my lips to taste his. Still, no rejection. With eyes still shut, he freezes. Next step: my tongue's very subtle move to invade the inside of his mouth. Just then, he throws a light punch to my stomach. That signals the end of my insanity. Although it hurts, I screamed, "I'm sorry!" instead of 'ouch'.
"I didn't mean to!"
He's still in awe, touching his lips. Silent. His eyes avoiding mine.
"Nong! I'm really sorry!"
WTF! What was I thinking? I can't believe I did that... to a guy!
Have I turned into a gay? Maybe? How else can you explain being attracted to another guy's lips? How many times should I apologize?
He looks at me. His eyes are puzzling. Is he mad at me?
"P'! Why did you do that? That's my first kiss, ever."
Something inside me is definitely excited. WTH, I'm his first kiss. I should've felt disgusted, but why aren't I? Oh please, anyone, answer me. On a scale of one to ten, how gay am I right now?
"Mad at me? I'm sorry.... I got drifted by my character."
That's it. Maybe that's just it. I was just carried away by Phana. Whatever. I'm as confused as he is.
He keeps silent.
"Never mind. It's nothing, right? I mean... we're both guys."
Come on. Come on, please be convinced.
"Yeah. I guess you're right."
I exhale.
"Just think of it as preparation for when we have to do it in the future."
Am I getting good at getting away with this? Stealing a kiss? His first kiss! I don't even know anymore. I just hope he believed what I said. Otherwise, what would he think about me? I know I'm still straight. Except with him, I'm not.
The situation remains awkward, so to forget what just happened, I ask him to get something to eat outside.
We head out walking normally as if nothing happened. I don't think he took it seriously. Thank heavens!
When we get back, P'Tae walks to him immediately.
"Nong! You look pale. Everything okay?"
Shit! Is he going to tell on me?
"Uhm.. I'm just hungry, P'! Is there food yet?
What a relief!
There goes his human shield wrapping his arm around Bas' shoulders probably going to get something to eat.
Me? I'm still full. After that kiss. Err.. I mean because of lunch. Nothing to do here. Just take a seat and watch filming.
"Godt! How did you turn from being frustrated to inspired in just a matter of hours?"
That's Meme seated next to me. She plays Pring in the series.
"I don't know what you're talking about. Ha ha!"
I don't even know if that kiss is starting to tell on me. Is that the reason why my mood has suddenly changed from being too down to being so enthused? She just smiles at me.
"You and Bas switched moods. Did you play a trick on him? Now he's the one who looks helpless." she adds.
Suddenly, the scene plays in my head again. I avoid her stare.
"Of course not! He said he's hungry, so we ended practicing to grab a bite."
She nods. Then asks me if I want her to get me something to eat. I admire her a lot. This lady who can easily be hated by everyone being the antagonist is, in fact, a very nice person.
I am still a gentleman, so instead of letting her get me food, I get up quickly to do the opposite. I smile at her before heading to where the food is served.
On my way to the tent, I can hear Bas laughing loudly. P'Tae is trying to feed him, and he's refusing. Fuck! What kind of hell is this? Are they flirting?
Wait! I feel angry. Why am I angry? Let me count the reasons why I MUST NOT be angry: first, Bas is a guy, and it was just a kiss; second, I have a girlfriend. There. Is that enough?
But I'm still angry. Is flirtation an ordinary thing here? I mean, they're not even partners. P'Tae should be playing around with Tee. Not Bas. Bas is mine. I mean, my partner.
I try to calm myself before approaching them. I smile and start to get some food for Meme. I think I need to get a new set of script quickly from the staff.
I signal to Bas that we have to continue practicing. He tells me he'll just finish eating first. All this time, P'Tae is just showing me a blank expression.
"Okay. Just see me after eating. I'll be right over there." I tell Bas and point him to where I'll be eating. I walk towards Pring to give her her food and immediately go to the staff to ask for a copy of the script for tomorrow. I told them we want to practice ahead of time. After a short while, Bas arrives and tells me to go back to detention.
While on our way, I tell him, "I'm really sorry about earlier."
He looks and smiles at me.
That smile really brings me delight.
"Never mind, P'! You were right. We're going to do it soon anyway."
There there. I am relieved.
Now, there's only one more lump of doubt stuck inside my chest. I really need to get this out.
"What's with the sweetness between you and P'Tae?"
[Author's Note: the tagalog version of this fanfiction currently ranks #19 at wattpad fanfiction! Im so happy because of that thank you for the support!]
The QueenMother Hateu