Twenty Five.
"You're a piece of work, you know that?"
Kelsey's Point of View:
"No, don't go." Justin moaned in protest as he clung onto me, face buried into the crook of my neck as his arm slung over my mid-section, baring my body to his.
Giggling, I turned my head to look down at him, my arm buried under his weight slowly peeling away as I awkwardly patted the back of his head, "I have to Justin."
"No you don't," He shot back, "Can't you skip or something? You've done it plenty of times before." Pulling me in closer if that were even possible, Justin began layering gentle kisses at the base of my neck.
Scowling, I inched away from the touch of his lips, "Don't you dare, Bieber." I spat, "It's not going to work this time."
Shooting his head up, Justin arched his brows, "Bieber? Since when did you refer to me like that again?" Fighting the urge to laugh, he bit down on his lip, amusement dancing in his eyes.
Pursing my lips, I narrowed my eyes at him, "Don't try to change the subject!"
"I'm not," He laughed, "I'm being seriously, baby. I haven't heard you say that in a long time. It's sorta sexy," Wiggling his eyebrows, he bent down to grab hold of me but before he could, I moved my head away so that his lips pressed to my cheek.
Growling, he looked at me with hooded eyes, "Are you seriously doing this right now?"
I pushed at his chest, relieved to see him move back reluctantly as I held myself up on my elbows, my face leveled with his in a way, "I have to Justin. If I'm late, I'll get kicked out of the course and I can't afford to fail. I spent a lot of money on these classes Justin."
Drifting so that his forehead pressed to mine, I felt the familiar pack of butterflies swarm my stomach as he pouted his bottom lip, a look of innocence taking over his entire demeanor.
"You're so cute," I commented with another giggle, kissing him gently before pulling away entirely, removing myself from under him and off the bed, "but I'm still going to school."
Groaning, Justin threw himself down on the bed, his hands held behind his head as he gazed over at me, "I hate you."
"Careful," I seethed sharply, ignoring his remark as the protective side that I've grown particularly used to over the course of the last two weeks came out, "Or you'll risk hurting yourself."
"Babe, I'm fine," Justin rolled his eyes, sighing, "The doctor said so himself yesterday."
"The doctor also said not to move around too much or you'll pull at something and risk being admitted to the hospital again." Laying my hands to my hips, I bit the inside of my cheek, "You were shot Justin and you can't just recover quickly. You seem to forget that."
"You also seem to forget that I'm used to this shit by now. This isn't the first time I've been shot you know."
Wincing at his words, I shook my head, pushing the thought from my mind. I refuse to imagine him younger than he was with a bullet inside of him, "Don't." I hissed.
"You're going to have to move past it sooner or later." He pointed out monotonously as his eyes watched me move around the room, throwing clothes aside carelessly as I tried to find my outfit for the day. I doubt I'd look presentable in class with a pair of checkered pajama shorts and a lose V-neck.
"Yeah? Well I choose later." I mumbled irritably, deciding on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt that had the word "Harvard" written across it in big, bolded, matted letters. Undressing myself, I pulled on each article of clothing before slipping my feet in a pair of moccasins.
"Spencer will drive you." Justin spoke up, nearly startling me as I forgot he was there to begin with. The silence was so thick you could practically hear a pin drop.
"I can drive myself."
"You can't and you won't. Don't make this harder than it has to be Kelsey." Justin growled from where he lay and I knew then that I was pushing his buttons.
Refusing to meet his eyes, I gave up trying to fold my shirt as I fisted it in my hands against the dresser, "Maybe if you'd lay off trying to control everything in my life right now, I wouldn't have to make anything hard on you."
"We've already discussed this! Why can't you just let it go?" He exasperated with a roll of his head backwards in exhaustion, "Nothing's safe for us right now."
"Nothing's ever safe nor will it ever be! But I want to live my life Justin. I can't just be kept inside this house all day long with the only few hour's school gives me to get out." I pounded my foot to the floor like a child not getting her way but I couldn't help it, I was being stubborn.
"Would you rather be laying here with a bullet wound instead?" He barked causing me to jump from the amount of force he put behind his words.
Closing my eyes, I bowed my head in embarrassment. I knew he'd rather die than to have anything ever happen to me, "No." I whispered.
Running a hand up through his hair, Justin sat up in bed, his legs thrown over the side of it. "Look, I'm sorry okay? I know you're upset and you have every right to be but I'm trying my hardest right now. You gotta work with me, okay?"
Opening my mouth to say something, I closed it, knowing it was best if I didn't say anything at all. Tucking my hair behind my ears, I bit my lip, glancing over at him. Without a word, I nodded my head, "Okay," I murmured quietly, grabbing my bag off of the floor next to the bed before making my way towards the front door.
"Wait," Brushing his hand against mine for a split second before grabbing it, Justin held it firmly in his own.
Turning, confused, I was taken back when he tugged me forwards until my body was held in between his legs. Gasping out of mock surprise, I stared up at him with wide eyes as he stood. My lips parted the moment Justin cupped my hands, layering his lips over mine in a feverish kiss.
Pulling away several moments later, Justin rubbed the paddings of his thumbs against my cheeks, his eyes searching mine for something... anything but ended up giving up moments later. Letting his hands drop to his side, he stuffed them in the pockets of his jeans, "I'll see you later." He breathed out.
Licking my lips, I swallowed hard, not meeting his eyes as brushed past him, "Yeah," I whispered, "You will." Shooting him a small smile before exiting the room, I let out a deep breath the second I was out of sight. Lying back against the wall, I rubbed a hand up and down the side of my face, curling it around the back of my neck as I peered up at the ceiling.
The past two weeks had been both a blessing and a pain in the ass. I took care of Justin on most days and every other I spent studying and making sure I had all the notes I needed for class from Carly. It was hard to keep in focus when all I could think about was how Justin was doing and if he was feeling alright but I managed to pull along just fine... that is, of course, until Justin began to recover faster than expected and he began taking part in things he usually wouldn't have before due to what had happened. But, now that he was getting better it was only a matter of time before he got back into focus with the gang and that scared me more than I would let him know.
It was scary enough almost losing him once, I don't know what I'd do if I ever had to experience that a second time.
Jumping out of my skin at the sound of my phone ringing loudly, I cursed under my breath, relaxing myself as I took it out to see Carly's name pop up on the screen. Rolling my eyes, I unlocked it before holding it to my ear, continuing the rest of the way down the hall and stairs. "Hello?"
"Hola chika!" Carly sing-sang from the other end, even more hyper than usual.
Laughing, I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips, "Hi, Carls."
"Whatcha doing?" I could sense her smile through the phone, knowing she was in a better mood than I was at the moment making me feel slightly better knowing someone was having a good day.
"Getting ready to go to class, I have Peterson this semester and he's a bigger pain in the ass than anybody else..." I paused for a brief second, "or so I've heard at least," I muttered while waving a hand dismissively though she couldn't quite see me while fumbling to put my shoes on.
"Ou," She hissed in a breath, "I heard he doesn't take shit from anyone. Megan had him last semester and he almost made her cry because she handed in her paper a day later."
"Great," I sighed, opening the door to find Spencer standing just beside the entrance, his head held high as he guarded the place.
Feeling the all too familiar feeling pull at the insides of my stomach, I frowned upon seeing the small scar at the corner of his forehead from the hit he had taken back a few weeks ago when he had crashed into the car that was meant for me.
Upon noticing my presence, he looked down at me, "You ready?"
Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I cocked my head to the side, taking hold of my phone in my hand, "How did you...?"
"Justin informed me just a few minutes ago." He confirmed with a small smile.
"Of course he did," I mumbled irritably, smiling up at Spencer who merely chuckled.
"Hello? Earth to Kelsey!" Carly's voice rang from the other end of the line, bringing my attention back to her.
"Oh, sorry," I laughed, "I was just talking to Spencer." Following after him towards the car, I thanked him quietly once he opened the door for me. Settling inside, I kicked my feet up, letting myself fall comfortably against the leather seat.
Raising an eyebrow at me, Spencer just shook his head as I shrugged my shoulders. Starting the car, he didn't wait for it to heat up as he headed down the driveway and onto the road.
"So, I was going to come over later but John was like I can't because you're going to be busy and I know you have things to do with Justin and all but I haven't seen you in forever and I miss my best friend," A puff emitted from her lips emphasizing her frustration.
"I've missed you too," I sighed, looking out the window, "Things have just been crazy with everything that happened, everybody's on edge and we're taking more precautions than before."
"I know and I understand why everyone's worried but it's been weeks. You know me Kelsey; I can't stay in one place for more than a second let along a week. It's driving me crazy," She emphasized with a groan, "I just want to be able to come over without having Matt breathing down my neck, watching my every move."
Stifling a giggle against my palm, I shook my head at my bestfriend, "I'm guessing John had you paired up with a bodyguard as well?"
"Oh, please," Carly hissed, "I wouldn't even call him a bodyguard Kelsey. He's more of a watch dog if anything. I can't even go to the bathroom for more than a few minutes without him thinking somebody's trying to kill me. Like sorry if I can't change my pad fast enough for him."
Choking on my spit, I doubled over, coughing up a storm as I burst out laughing.
Startled, Spencer glanced over at me, immediately clapping his hand to my back as I straightened up. "Are you okay?" He questioned hastily, worry in his eyes.
"I'm good," I let out a breath sigh, "I'm just," Shaking my head; I sat back up, "I freaking hate you." I muttered to Carly while spluttering out another giggle, "I honestly do."
"It's true! I mean, he might as well come in the bathroom with me-"
"Ew," I scrunched my face up in disgust, "That's disgusting."
"I'm not saying that I would ever do that Kelsey but, to get my point across... oh, you know what I mean!" She scolded.
"Did you tell John how you feel? Well, without the whole bathroom scenario because I'm sure he doesn't need to hear that."
"Of course I did and you want to know what he said?" Without even giving me a chance to answer, she began talking once more, "That I should deal with it because 'as long as I'm safe that's all that matters', like what kind of bullshit is that?"
"Sounds like something any normal overprotective boyfriend would say." I declared with a small smile.
"You got the overprotective part right." Carly mumbled in annoyance.
"You're just not used to being tied down. You'll get used to it soon enough, don't worry about it. Once this all subsides, you'll be able to do whatever it is that you want."
"I feel like I'm fourteen again and I got caught making out with Jimmy Tanner in my basement."
"I remember that! Your dad was so mad he threatened to break both of Jimmy's legs if he ever went near you again."
"Yeah and he took that to heart and wouldn't even look in my direction without thinking he was actually going to do it."
Letting out a quiet laugh, I let the familiar pair of giddiness take over as I found myself smiling for nothing, reminiscing on the past.
"Do you ever miss it?" Carly whispered as if she were sharing a secret.
"What?" I asked though I knew what she meant.
"You know... being normal? Hanging out like we used to without having to watch our backs every five seconds?"
Tension rose from within and I felt my neck growing hot, "Carly..." I muttered, side glancing at Spencer who didn't seem to be paying any attention but I couldn't be quite sure.
"I'm sorry," She apologized, "I didn't mean it like that... I just, sometimes, I just think about how our lives would be totally different if that night never happened."
Biting my lip, I picked at my nails, "I don't know." I admitted, "I mean, I do miss it sometimes, I'm not going to lie to you but I also wouldn't change anything Carly. I may not like how things are now but everything that came along with it was worth it."
"Don't get me wrong Kels, I wlove John and I wouldn't trade him in for anything but sometimes I just cant help asking "what if". Our lives would be so much different if..."
"If, nothing." I sighed, exasperated, "Things happen for a reason Carly and there's a reason our lives turned up like this. We just have to go along with it and anything else that comes our way."
"I guess youre right, I'm sorry." Carly meekly responded and I could tell she felt embarrassed by what she said, instantly regretting it now.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I had my share of questioning things too but Ive come to terms with myself that nothing will ever go back to how it used to be."
Spencer cleared his throat, interrupting briefly mid thought, "We're here." H gestured out the window with his chin.
Following his lead, I nodded respectably, "Look, I gotta go Carly. Ill call you later, okay?"
'Okay, see ya later alligator."
Stifling a giggle, I shook my head at her immaturity, "See you." Hanging up, I took off my seatbelt before turning to spencer, a grim expression on my face once I realized he must have probably gotten the wrong impression of my conversation with Carly, "Listen, I-"
"You don't have to explain yourself," He shrugged, "Your conversations with whomever are between you and that person, not me besides I wasn't even paying attention."
"Alright, well, thanks again."
"It's no problem kid," He smirked, knowing how much I hated when he referred to me as that even though I was clearly not a child.
Rolling my eyes, I opened the door, stepping out into the calm winds, "Ill see you in," Glancing down at my watch, I contemplated the time, "Two hours?"
"Sounds good to me, I'll see you then." Waving once I closed the door, Spencer drove off, pulling away from the sidewalk and disappearing down the road.
Fixing the strap of my bag no my shoulder, I began heading into the building when a cold hand grabbed my arm, startling me.
Gasping, I whirled around to see Tanner looking down at me, amusement in his eyes, "You scared the shit out of me!"
"Sorry," He chuckled, putting his hands up in mock surrender, "I thought you heard me. I called your name about a hundred times."
Glaring, I huffed, turning around as he followed after me, a few steps in sync with mine, "Yeah, well I obviously didn't hear you."
"Or you just chose to ignore me." He pointed out.
Giving him a look that meant he was wrong, I sighed, "No, I wasn't ignoring you. I really didn't hear you besides, I'm exhausted and I just want to get this class over with so I can go home."
"Boyfriend troubles?" He raised his eyebrows questionably, a thin smile at his lips as he patiently waited for me to answer.
"Why do you always assume its Justin that has to do with it?" I hissed, a bit harsher than I intended but it got the point across that I was in no mood to discuss the likes of my boyfriend with somebody he didn't quite like.
"Because you've been spending quite an awful amount of time with him as you would, of course and about eight five percent of it has to do with him."
"And you would know that because...?"
"You tend to rant a lot when under stress," He slightly laughed, his eyes glowing under the florescent lights that beamed down from the ceilings.
Exhaling a breath laugh, I pressed my lips together, "No, it has nothing to do with Justin. I've just been... tired with everything that's been going on with school and stuff." I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it anymore than it's already been discussed.
Catching my drift, Tanner simply took that as my final answer, "So," He rocked on the heels of his shoes as we waited for the crowd in the middle of the hallway to disperse; it was like high school all over again but worse.
"So...?" I trailed off, hinting that I was waiting for him to continue.
"Whatcha doing tonight?"
"Tanner," I sighed, "I-"
"It's not a date I'm asking here for, Kelsey," Tanner shook his head, "I'm merely asking as a friend."
Pursing my lips, I shrugged, "I don't know what I'm doing to be honest. I'm probably just going to go home and sleep until whenever I decide to wake up."
"That's always nice."
"Yeah," The awkward silence that enveloped us nearly suffocated me, "Uhm, what are... what are you doing?"
"I was actually thinking to go see that new movie with Emma Stone in it tonight" He grinned cheekily, "She looks hot in it, plus, it's a common theme that you'd probably find interest in."
Furrowing my eyebrows, I looked at him, "What theme?"
"Gangsters," He replied monotonously with a hint of humor in his tone.
"Ah, of course," I shook my head, a forced laugh emitted from my lips. "Not my type of movie actually and not exactly what I'd call a common theme."
"I don't see why not," He looked to be in deep thought, "I mean your boy-"
"Yes, my boyfriend, Tanner-" I sighed, frustration building up inside of me, "There's just something's people don't like to discuss and for me that's Justin so if you could just lay off, that'd be nice."
"Whoa, hold it there babe, I was just joking-"
"Don't call me that either," I shot back, feeling slightly rambunctious.
"I'm sorry?" Taking a step back as if he were afraid, he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, "I was just joking, Kelsey. No need to take everything I say seriously."
Closing my eyes for a split second, I inwardly took a deep breath, "No, I'm sorry." I sighed, looking away from him, "I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I just... don't want to talk about him right now or ever... with you. Okay?"
Shrugging, Tanner began walking, "Works for me. I don't think he likes me much anyways." Turning his head to me, he winked, referring to how Justin threatened him to leave me alone.
Amused, I began walking as well, "You're annoying."
"Thank you." He shot me a grin, "I'd rather be called sexy but that'll work too."
Fighting the urge to smile, I shook my head, looking away from him. "I hate you too."
"I figured," He smirked as we both entered Peterson's class.
Justin's Point of View:
"Are you sure about this man?" John stared at me curiously as I paced the floors, biting nervously on my lips, "Don't you think you're moving too fast?"
Shaking my head, I stopped to stand in front of him, "Not really. I mean, it's not going to be official, at least for right now."
"I know you love her and you want to always keep her safe but I don't think this is the way to do it..."
"It's not just about keeping her safe. It's the fact that I can't live without her-" Running my hands up and down my face, I let out a frustrated sigh, "I know it seems crazy, okay? But when I visited Jazzy's grave and finally spoke to her... it was like something inside of me opened up. You know? I felt like I finally put the remaining puzzle pieces of my life together and all I saw was her."
"Kelsey?" John questioned quizzically, to make sure he knew who I was talking about.
"Exactly," I nodded, "When I had the chance to cross over, I... couldn't do it. Not for Jazzy and I certainly wouldn't do it for anyone else because I know she needs me as much as I need her."
"Wow," John sighed, seemingly coming off deflated, like a balloon running off the last of the helium it contained. "So, you're going to go with this? You're going to do it?"
Pulling my lips to the side, I didn't even have to think about it twice before nodding, "Yeah. I love her."
Smiling, John clapped me in the back, pulling me into a brotherly embrace, "I'm happy for you man. You know I got your back no matter what."
"Thanks, I appreciate it." Clapping hands, I pulled away with a snap of my fingers. Looking around, I ran my fingers through my hair, "The only thing is... I don't know how exactly I'm going to do this."
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, John rocked on the back heel of his boots, "I think I got an idea." He smiled, "You still have your mom's number?"
Kelsey's Point of View:
Collapsing into the car, I didn't even bother to buckle up as I laid my head against the cool glass.
"Long day at school?" Spencer knowingly looked at me, sharing a sympathetic gaze as he firmly held the steering wheel.
"You have no idea." Yawning, I covered my mouth before peering over at him, "Where's Justin?"
"He had to finish doing something so he sent me to come get you." Stopping at the stop sign, he gazed in both directions before continuing his way down the path leading to the exit.
Cocking a brow, I pursed my lips, my attention rate rising, "What do you mean he had things to finish? What exactly is he doing?"
"That's... for you to find out." Pretending to zip his lips, he dodged my hand as I reached over and tried to hit him.
"Spencer," I warned, giving him the best glare I could muster, "He's not fit enough to go back to work."
Laughing, he shook his head, "You worry about everything, you know that? Relax Kelsey, he's fine."
Exhaling deeply, I pushed my hair back, "That's so not funny. You almost gave me a heart attack!"
"You give yourself heart attacks for nothing," Spencer articulated, "You need to loosen up a bit. Were you always this uptight when it came to him?"
As I went to say something, I realized that I didn't know exactly what, "Can you blame me for being so uptight? He just came out of the hospital; I'm just worried he'll go back to business earlier than he should."
"Justin's a big boy, Kelsey. He can take care of himself." Easing into a stop once he saw the traffic light turn green, he turned to me, "He's not stupid enough to risk his life after winning a close to fatal battle."
"I know he's not... I just, I know he misses being able to do something... anything and that's what scares me that the moment an opportunity opens up, he'll take it without thinking." Biting the inside of my cheek, I glanced down at my hands, my stomach dropping slightly.
"I may not have been here since the beginning but I can see it in his face when he looks at you, he loves you and would risk his life in order to make sure you're okay. I know he knows this is killing you. Any girl who has to watch their boyfriend fighting for their life has every right to worry in my book but, damn it Kelsey, you'll end up in a hospital room yourself if you don't stop this right now. The overthinking, the anxiety, all of it, it's not healthy for you." Licking his lips, he sighed, dropping his voice to a dull whisper, "I know you haven't been eating..."
Snapping my head up, I stared over at him with wide eyes, my mouth going dry, "What are you talking about?"
"You've gotten smaller over the course of the last two weeks Kelsey... I'm not going to make conclusions but you can't do this anymore. You have to get yourself back on track, alright? If Justin found out that you haven't been eating because you were so caught up in making sure he recovers, he'd..." Shaking his head, he shook his head, averting his eyes to the road as he began driving again, "He would never forgive himself."
Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, I forced myself to look ahead, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Kelsey..." Spencer murmured, deflated, "I-"
"I'm fine, okay?" I sharply cut him off, "You're spending too much time with John. Your job is to take me where I want, when I want and make sure I'm safe. Nowhere in that job description does it say for you to watch over me like I'm some child."
"I'm just saying that-"
"Nothing, you're saying nothing because this conversation is over and done with." Stubbornly, I crossed my arms against my chest, refusing to speak any further.
Defeated, he let out a sigh, shaking his head as he quietly turned onto the all too familiar street. Finally reaching the house after what felt like hours, I got out of the car before he even had a chance to properly park it, making sure to slam the door closed behind me as I hurriedly made my way up the path way and to the front door. Digging in my bag for my keys, I managed to find them.
Dropping my bag down by the corner of the hall that turned into the living room, I was ready to head upstairs to get some rest when the dim lighting casted over a beautifully made out table with a white cloth covering, pedals dripping all around it and the chairs, I felt my heart swell in surprise.
Hesitantly, I made my way over to it, my eyes glossing over in awe. Taking in the flowers held in a thin vase perched in the middle of the table, beautiful china placed in front of each chair with food accompanying both, wine held in an iced container in the corner making all the negativity I felt moments before vanish into thin air.
"Do you like it?" I shot my head up to see Justin walking into the living room looking as if he came fresh out of a magazine with a pair of skinny jeans, white V-neck and a black blazer.
"Like it?" I whispered, looking it all over once more with admiration, "I love it Justin, did you do all of this by yourself?" I gaped as he warmly smiled over at me.
"Yeah, I felt bad how things ended between us before and I know we haven't had actual you and me time in a while so I thought now would be the time to make up for that." Grabbing my face in between his hands, I jumped from the sudden contact, oblivious to how fast he approached me.
After pulling away from the kiss, he looked down at me with a confused expression on his face, "You okay?" Sliding his hands to my arms he rubbed them both comfortingly up and down, crouching so his eyes were in front of mine, he searched them, "Baby?"
Snapping out of it, I shook my head, "Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't see you come over to me so fast." I laughed, "I guess I dazed out a bit... you really surprised me tonight." Forcing a smile, I leaned forwards, giving him a chaste kiss.
"I wish I could've gotten a heads up or something, I look like a trainwreck."
"You look beautiful no matter what." Grabbing my hands in his, Justin smiled from ear to ear, his eyes shining, "Are you hungry?"
Looking down at the plates filled with food then over to him, my stomach growled as Spencer's words rang in my ears, you've gotten smaller, I smiled, "Starved." Waiting as he pulled out my seat, I sat down as Justin took one across from me. "It looks delicious."
"Thanks, I made it." He propped his collar up, brushing off his shoulders teasingly.
Ignoring him, I snickered, "You made this?" I pointed down at the dish layered with steak, green beans and potatoes.
"Well with the help of my mom of course," Grinning at me, he popped a bottle of wine open, pouring some into the both of our glasses, "I didn't want to end up doing it all by myself and messing it up."
"It's perfect no matter what," Taking a sip after he handed him my glass, I moaned in satisfaction of the cold substance running down my throat, chilling me to the bone. "How's your mom anyways? Is she doing okay?"
"Yeah, she's still shaken up but she's come to terms with everything." Wiping his lips against his napkin, he gazed over at me, "How was school?"
"It was... well, school. Nothing different, it's still annoying and a waste of time." I shrugged, licking my lips.
Cocking his head to the side, he narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously, "In other words you could have stayed home with me all day."
"Justin..." I laughed.
"I'm just saying," He put his hands up, "But then again I wouldn't have been able to do all this," He gestured all around us, "so I guess I'm glad you decided to leave." He smirked.
"I suppose not," Rolling my hair in a twirl behind my head, I grabbed the fork and knife, cutting myself a piece of steak before carefully bringing it into my mouth and biting down on it. Chewing slowly, I held a neutral face so that I didn't give anything away to Justin who was currently watching me with curiosity.
"So..." Justin began, "How is it?"
"It's..." Swallowing it, I cocked my head to the side as if considering it, "Really good. Who knew you could actually sorta cook?" I smirked, laughing as Justin shot me a glare.
"Well, I never said I couldn't, I just haven't really tried to be honest. Take out was just easier and less time consuming."
"And unhealthy for you," I pointed out, out loud while taking another gulp of wine.
"What's the harm in some cheeseburgers and French fries? I don't understand people's theories. I mean if it tastes good, who cares how many carbs it holds?"
"You're such a guy."
"I'll take that as a compliment actually because I wouldn't exactly want to be considered a female so," He shrugged, taking a bite into his bread as he grinned childishly over at me.
"You're definitely not a girl, I can tell you that much though you do tend to fuss like one. You're worse than me half the time."
"You would know," He smiled cockily, wiggling his eyebrows, "And I wouldn't exactly consider you to be any better than me. You're a pain in the ass when you want to be-" Pausing, he twisted his lips to the side, "Or all the time to be exact."
"Asshole," I muttered clear enough for him to hear.
"You love me," He teased knowing I couldn't exactly disagree with that.
Sighing in defeat, I stabbed the steak with my fork ruggedly cutting into it before popping it into my mouth.
Watching me with nothing but adoration and amusement in his eyes, Justin chuckled quietly, gazing over the rim of his glass.
"So," I began, wanting to change the subject, "I was thinking about how I could make myself useful around here, you know, with everything that's happened-"
"I already told you Kelsey, you don't have to worry about that." He waved a hand dismissively though I could sense the interest bubbling inside of him.
"Yeah, yeah and when do I ever listen to what you have to say?" I smiled innocently.
Growling lowly, Justin rolled his eyes, knowing I was right.
"Anyways, I can't cook myself which we've already established by my many failed attempts in the kitchen but if you could give me a gun-"
Choking on himself, Justin nearly spit the gulp of wine he had just taken in, out. "What did you just say?"
Pay no attention to his question, I continued what I was saying, "I could probably do some damage so if you ever need back up, I know you need some more people and you could always call me."
"Kelsey..." Justin shook his head, completely taken back, speechless to say the least.
"What? It's a great deal. You don't even have to pay me. I could spy for you or something. I'm small, I could hide easily."
"Or get yourself killed easily," Laying his hands down on the table, Justin licked his lips, trying to make sense of what I was saying paying no mind to the growing smile on my face.
"Justin..."
"I already told you I don't want you anywhere near my business, are you crazy?" He rambled.
"Justin..." I laughed.
"It's already dangerous enough as it is, throwing yourself into the mix won't make things easier on us or me for that matter..."
"Justin..." I began again, trying to capture his attention with no luck whatsoever.
"If anything ever happened to you-"
"Justin!" I laughed as he shot his head up, looking me square in the eye, "I was just kidding." I smiled, "I mean, I understand that your work is completely off limits and to be honest with you, I wouldn't want to..." Scrunching my face up in disgust, I shook my head, "You know? You do what you do and that's fine. That's a part of being with you even though I may hate it."
Skeptically looking me over, Justin pressed his lips together, "...and you're sure you're okay with that?"
"Justin," I laughed, "I was seriously just joking. I don't want any part of it; I'm fine just being your girlfriend." Crossing my legs, I tossed a piece of bread into my mouth, winking playfully over at him.
Letting out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding in all this time, he settled back in his chair, diverted, "You're a piece of work, you know that?"
"Why, thank you," I smiled, "I'll take that as a compliment," I teased, throwing his own words back at him.
"I missed this," He confessed, "Just us, eating dinner like we used to minus the hiding and sneaking around."
"That was always nerve-wracking. I mean, what's the worst that could've happen to you? You get kicked out meanwhile I'd probably get in so much trouble..." Shaking my head, I laughed, "I remember when you came over the day you were stabbed and the next morning my mom came into my room and saw that I had a hickey and I had to lie to her saying I burnt myself. I wanted to kill you."
"So why didn't you?"
Pondering the thought, I tapped my index finger to my chin, "I don't know," Laughing, I fought long and hard to retrieve the memory, "I guess I forgot." I shrugged.
"Or you just seemed to remember how much of a great kisser I was and instantly forgave me." He smirked cockily.
"Yeah, I don't think that was it."
"Why do you gotta be like that?" He teased, "Couldn't you just go along with it?"
"And make that ego of yours even bigger?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively, "No thanks."
"You're no fun." Justin pouted.
"You're such a child." I shook my head, "Tell me how you're twenty one again?"
"Can you explain to me how you're twenty? I could've sworn you were still sixteen." He shot back.
"Ouch," I hissed in fake sadness, hovering over my heart with my hand, "That hurt my feelings," I sarcastically remarked.
"Good." Justin snickered, the silence engulfing us; comfortably taking over as we both sat there, staring at one another.
Smiling, I bit my lip. Seeing him alive and healthy in front of me was a blessing all in itself. "Thank you," I whispered, "For everything... this was all really amazing. You truly outdid yourself tonight." I admitted shyly while tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"You deserve nothing but the best," Justin shrugged, his eyes gleaming under the dim lighting, "Always." He murmured softly. Leaning over, Justin grabbed my hand in his, swiping his thumb over the top of it, envisioning something. "Kelsey?"
"Hm?" Peeling my eyes from our hands, I looked at him, feeling my heart constrict at the guy that meant the world to me.
Biting the corner of his lip, he shook his head, the veins in his neck tightening as his Adam's apple moved slowly down this throat, eyebrows turned inwards in hard concentration.
"Justin," I giggled lightly, "Are you okay?"
"You know what?" He whispered, snapping out of it while layering his lips over with his tongue, "You could actually do something for me."
Widening my eyes, I beamed over at him, "That's great! What is it that you need me to do?" Standing up, I began grabbing the dishes, considerably taking it upon myself to end dinner being that we both finished, "I can finally do something for you. You know, I was starting to think that you were getting tired of me always trying to help and that was completely unfair-"
"Kelsey..." Justin trailed off, chuckling as I continued to fumble with the things on the table. Grabbing my wrists, he stopped me from continuing. Taking the plates from me, he put them back down before captivating my hands in his.
Confused, I felt my heart speed up as I stood up to my full length. "What's wrong?" I whispered, feeling slightly light headed at the moment. "Is everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," He shook his head, "I just..." Looking past me as though I was a ghost, I could see that he was losing himself in thought, "I don't know how to go about this."
"Justin..." I giggled nervously, my palms instantly dampening at the thought of the impossible threaded through my mind.
"I'm sorry," He said after a few moments of quiet.
Knitting my brows together, I looked up at him bewildered, "For what?" I shook my head, "You didn't do anything."
"For everything," He shrugged disappointment evident in the soles of his irises, "since the beginning of our relationship it's been nothing but a roller coaster ride and you don't deserve that... you deserve something so much more than what I could give you."
"What you give me is more than I ever asked for." I stated truthfully, "You gave me a home, a family apart from the one I was born into. You showed me something I could have never discovered without you... you showed me what it's like to fall in love."
"I ruined a lot of what your life was supposed to be." He mumbled quietly, intending only for his ears but I had managed to hear him too.
"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that you can't just dump everything on you. It's not your fault. Your life, what it stands for... I understand what you do and why you do it and I know that you can't control it. What happens..." Pausing, I felt my throat itch at the intensity of this conversation, "I'm not going to sit here and lie to your face and say that I'm happy with what everything's become but knowing that I have you makes everything worthwhile because I know that in the end, I'll always have you."
"You do have me," He tightened his grip on my hands, "That won't ever change."
"Then why are you saying all of this right now?" I said, referring to the other part of this conversation.
"All my life I thought I'd end up dying," He confessed, nodding his head in agreement to what he was saying, "Because I knew once I vowed my life to the gang that, that was it. Whatever happened to me, I'd take to the grave and that would be the end of it. At first, it was surreal that I had chosen this all to be my life. With my parents along with Jazzy and Jaxon, I felt like I had disappointed them and I knew I did. I mean, who wants their own flesh and blood considered to be a criminal?"
"And then everything that happened with Jen... it was like I wasn't meant to be happy. Everything I touch got destroyed and little by little I began to lose everything that once made me content. After Jazzy died, that was the final straw. I turned into a monster. I didn't care and I killed anything and anyone that stood in my way without an ounce of remorse. That's when I knew that I was done for, that I had lost it completely. I wasn't me-I was Danger, the one everybody feared and nobody wanted to associate with because they knew I wouldn't think twice before popping a gun out and shooting them."
"But then you came stumbling into my life and I remembered thinking to myself, 'What the fuck did you get yourself into?'. I hated myself and I hated the fact that I didn't want to let you go. Here was a girl I knew for only a couple of few hours yet she didn't look at me as a killer, you looked at me like a human being and you treated me like one too. You fought back and you talked back. You didn't care about what I did, you didn't judge me... you just wanted to go home and for the first time in my life, I knew I had found somebody worth holding onto."
"So, I kept coming back despite what Bruce wanted and what my conscious told me because being near you made everything okay again. It felt right and I wanted to feel like that every single day and before I could comprehend it, I was falling for you hard and that happened to be one of the best and worst mistakes of my life."
"You became a target yet you were the best thing that's ever happened to me. People were after you yet I loved you with everything in me and I vowed to keep you safe no matter what. Everything had a purpose and I knew that we were in too deep and the only thing I could do was either let you go or keep you. I tried the first option but we both know how that worked out." Cracking a smile, he sniffled despite the fact that he wasn't crying. "I love you more than anything and I want to be the one you always turn to when you're feeling down. I want to be the one you come home to everyday for the rest of your life. I know were too young for this now but in the future..." Swallowing, Justin hesitated before dropping to one knee making my stomach plummet to the ground as I gasped in the utmost shock.
"Justin..." I whispered, cupping my mouth with my hand as I looked down at him with glossy eyes, feeling the back of them pinch.
Fumbling inside the pocket of his jacket, Justin bit his lip nervously as he pulled out a small velvet suede box.
Shaking my head in astonishment, I blinked, feeling the tears roll down my cheeks and fall into a puddle at the end of my chin.
"Kelsey Anne Jones," Justin whispered breathlessly as if he'd been running a mile. Popping the lid open, he held it out in front of me and before my very eyes laid a beautiful diamond ring, "Will you marry me?"