DEAN
I watch through the window as the doctors move around Cas' still body. My heart is racing. What is wrong with him? Why isn't he awake? Will he be okay? I need answers.
As a doctor walks out of the room I catch her arm. She turns to face me. "What's wrong with him?" I ask, wanting answers. She shakes her head. "We don't know, honestly. He's not in a coma, nor paralyzed it's strange." She says. "What? What do you mean?" I ask. "He is alive. And his mind is awake but his body isn't. He's not technically in a coma cause if he were, then he wouldn't be awake, but by the looks of it he's not paralyzed. Maybe his body is just in shock? But we're not sure. Nothing has happened like this before." She says. She places a hand over mine which was still on her arm. "You should take a seat, sir." I allow her to walk me to a chair.
I sit down bouncing my feet on the ground. Why did this have to happen? Why?!
After a while I go to check on Gwen. Their rooms are far from each other, I'm not sure why.
I run into Sam halfway to her room. He was coming to get me. Something's wrong. We run the rest of the way to her room. We make it there just in time.
Gwen lies on the bed, body still, and pale white with cuts all over her. There is a doctor next too her with a clipboard and is looking at her watch and there are a few other doctors standing around. My dad is holding Gwen's hand, his forehead pressed to her hand. The line that represents her heart beat goes straight.
"Time of death: 6:25." The doctor with the clipboard says.
I want to scream. My mind races.
I slowly walk up next to my dad and place a hand on his shoulder.
Not again.
Not again.
Not again!
I have lost (basically) two moms in this world.
I allow a tear to slip.
~
I stay the night at the hospital. Dad and Sam went home. I told them it was fine to leave me. Dad didn't speak at all after Gwen's death.
They weren't even married yet. And now they'll never get to be married. Dad won't be happy again. Not really. He lost two wives. It was in two weeks. Their wedding was in two weeks.
I sit in Cas' room. I let one of the doctors ramble on what he thinks is wrong with Cas. Most people would find him annoying but I don't, he helps me take my mind off things somehow.
"So is he awake right now?" I ask.
"No, he is not awake right now. We gave him a medicine that knocks him out. (A/N this explains when he lost the pain in his head, and his thoughts they gave him medicine to knock him out) Because we believe somehow he felt pain in his head, which could be good or bad." The doctor exclaims. "I want to try something when he wakes up tho. I believe he can hear sometimes, I would show you why I believe so but you would not understand so therefor I will not show you." He says. Another doctor walks in. "Sir we need you to come see this." She says. They both exit the room. Leaving me and my thoughts alone.
The doctor that was talking to me came back into the room about thirty minutes later, a few other nurses and doctors following him.
I can tell that Cas is awake, his heartbeat speeds up every time he is. The doctor kneels down next to Cas. He looks back at me. "Er what's his name?" He asks. "Um Castiel, Cas." I say stuttering. He nods.
"Hey Cas if you can hear me, I'm doctor Thomas." I hear some nurse mumble saying this was a dumb idea. "Focus on my voice. You need to take control of your body, imagine feeling it. Try to move your fingers slightly. Just wiggle them." he says. Doctor Thomas looks back at me. "Who are you a brother or?" He asks. "I'm his boyfriend." I say. One of the nurses grunt. I glare at her. "Cas do this for...?" He looks back at me. "Dean." I say. "Dean. Your boyfriend, he misses you and needs you Cas. Wiggle your fingers and take control. C'mon you can do it." A redhead nurse steps up. "Doctor, this is pointless it's not going to work." She says. Then it does. Cas fingers on his right hand moves. My heartbeat speeds up. They move only slightly at first then faster. Thomas looks at her. "Never doubt the doctor." He says with a smirk. Then looks back at Cas. "Great job. Excellent. Now very slowly start taking control of the rest of your body. You're doing perfect." He says.
I smile not being able to help myself. It takes Cas a while to gain complete control. His eyes flutter open slowly. I walk over to the side of his bed. The other doctors and nurses clap. His face and body may be all cut up but his eyes are bluer than ever.
"You did an amazing job Castiel." Doctor Thomas says. "Don't move too much tho, you can easily injure yourself very badly." He says. Thomas turns to the other doctors and nurses. "Can we get some pain killers?" One of them nods and leaves. The others congratulate Dr.Thomas and then leave.
Thomas gives him the medicine, I thank him and he gives me a hug, then he leaves. I told him I would get him if anything happens.
"You okay?" I ask. "Pain." He mumbles. "Sorry." I say. I grab a chair and sit next to his bed.
"What time is it?" He asks. "3:45 a.m." I say. He moans in pain. It hurts to see him like this.
A few doctors come in to treat his wounds. They gave him another medicine for pain which seemed to help. Cas says he can feel everything now, but it just aches, everything does.
After a while they all leave again. "Where's my mom?" He asks, his eyes getting big, like he just remembered what happened. I look down at the white ground. "Cas I'm sorry," I say in a hushed voice. "Sorry about what? No. Don't be sorry. My mom is okay. Right? She has to be ok!" He says tears welling up in his eyes. "I'm going to go see her." He says pushing himself up. I stand up. "No no no no." I say. He continues to try to get back up. I put my hands on his shoulders to keep him down. "Cas, Cas lay back down. You can't get up you'll hurt yourself." I say softly. He shakes his head and tries standing up. I don't want to hurt him so I let go of his shoulders. He stands up on shaky legs and moans in pain. He grabs my arms to help him stay up but he can't, he collapses in my arms, so where I'm practically holding him. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." I say over and over again. I allow him to sob in my shirt. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." I say, holding back tears myself. He cries into my shirt with his mouth open, soaking it with tears and slobber, I blame that on all the medicine they gave him. "Shh Shh shh." I say combing my fingers through his tangled hair. My arms are killing me from holding him. Once he quiets down I lift him up like a baby and gently set him back in the hospitable bed. I sit back in my chair. He's asleep, well I thought so till he opens his eyes and looks at me. "Can you lay with me?" He asks. I nod then walk over and shut the door so we can have somewhat privacy. He slowly moves over so I can lay with him. The bed is small of course but it's ok. He lays his head on my chest. "My mom she didn't make it?" He asks, having troubles getting the words out of his mouth. I press my lips together. "No." I say. "Why?!" He sobs. I shake my head although he can't see me. "I don't know, I don't know why. It's not fair I know." I say. "It's not fucking fair!" I scream as if it would change anything. Cas body is shaking. I need to calm down. I can't do this, not here not now. I bite my lip. I place my hand gently on his arm and move it up and down trying to calm his body down some. We both stay quiet for the rest of the night till we fall asleep.
~
The guy that crashed into them was drinking and driving. His name was Justin Parker, age 42. Justin is going to jail for vehicular homicide. He wanted to apologize to Cas for what he has done but I said it was best that he did not but I did say I would tell Cas that he said he was sorry.
They kept Cas in the hospitable for another night. To give his body time to heal a bit. He will be able to go home tonight tho.
LATER THAT NIGHT
"You ready to go home?" I ask, looking at Cas. He nods then pushes himself up. He hasn't spoken at all, really. I don't blame him. I hate talking right now too. I grab his crutches that he'll be using for a while to help him get around. I let him hold on to me as he stands up, then he takes the crutches and lets go.
It's completely dark by the time we get home. Cas nearly slips and falls on the stairs up to our front door. Scared the shit out of me.
Sam is sitting on the couch watching cartoons. He doesn't smile or laugh at them like he usually does, but today's not a usual day. I sit next to him. "Hey, you okay man?" I ask, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shakes his head.
Gwen was the closest thing he had to a mother. Since our mother died when he was only a little baby. Even tho it was a long time ago, and I was young, I still remember that night. I hate thinking about it.
I squeeze his shoulder slightly. "I know."
A few hours later I go back downstairs to get a drink. Sam is still on the couch. I walk over to him. He's laying down on the couch his eyes almost closed but he is still awake. "Sammy, why don't you go to bed? Get some rest, it's four in the morning." I say. He doesn't even argue with me calling him 'Sammy'. He sluggishly gets up. I walk him to his room to make sure nothing happens, or just to make time past. "Night Sam." I say as I shut his door.
Once I find my way back to our room I find Cas sleeping on my bunk. He is sprawled out so I don't bother getting in with him, I just sleep on his bunk.
The funeral was two days later.
~
Around lunch time the next day Cas comes downstairs with a suitcase. I look at him confused. Then I quickly finish making Sam's sandwich and walk over to Cas. We walk outside. "What are you doing?" I ask waving at his suitcases. He sighs, not frustrated, or annoyed, just plainly almost like he's sick of life. "I just need some time away. With everything that's happened y'know. It's not cause of you, or Sam, or John but I just, I need some time." He says. I nod. "No, it's fine, I understand. Where are you going?" I say. "Thank you, Dean. I'm going to visit my grandparents, who live in Oklahoma." He says. "How are you going to uh get there?" I ask. "Im going to ride buses there, it'll take a while but it's the best I got." He says. I nod slowly. "I'm, I'm sorry to just, bail, but I really need this." I look at the ground. "No, really it's fine." I say. "How long will you be gone?" "Er, I'm not sure, hopefully not too long." He says. "Oh and there's no cellphone connection, and they don't have internet connection where they live so we'll have to write each other, old school way." I smile, even it's not 100% real. "Okay, what's the address?" I ask. He writes it on a piece of paper, rereads it several of times, then hands it to me.
"Be safe Cas." I say. He leans forward on his crutches some. "I will." He says. We just stare at each other, for the longest time.
I shake my head. "I love you Castiel Novak." I say. "And I, you, Dean Winchester." He says. I gently grab his face and lean forward, pressing my lips to his. He kisses me back, leaning forward on his crutches to make it deeper.
We don't say anything else. Cas grabs his suit case and walks off towards the bus stop. I watch him till I can't see him anymore.
There is this uneasy feeling in my stomach when he leaves.